Bloodlines You may think being a vampyre would be easy. Suck an innocent virgins girls blood, kill other vampyres, claim a territory where you feast until there no longer is a territory... The list goes on. But I can assure you, being a vampyre is not all easy. Especially when you've been that way for over 300 plus years and still going. Thoughts become isolated, congruent, consistent. Things repeat and all you can do it watch it go by slowly, tortuously and painfully.
Face it; things get tedious and boring after so long. Yes, even the sex becomes dull. The only thing fueling your actions by this point is purely instinct. Everything's scrambled, mashed and tarnished with time. Time. The one thing you have plenty of since befriending immortality.
To keep that immortality though, one needs to feed on the
100 Ways to Annoy Breakdown100 Ways to Annoy Breakdown:100 Ways to Annoy Breakdown4 years ago in Humor More Like This
1) Mention Bulkhead and his human companion Miko.
2) Ask Breakdown how his relationship is going with Starscream, Knockout, and/or Bulkhead.
3) Say 'Hammer Time' every time you see him.
4) Make fun of Breakdown for getting caught by MECH.
5) Call Breakdown a pirate and keep insisting to see if not go inside of his missing optic socket.
6) Ask Breakdown why he didn't allow Knockout to replace said optic.
7) Tell Breakdown if he could control his temper he may actually be able to beat up more then concrete slabs in battle.
8) Tell Breakdown his slogan: "Never run when you can fight" is bologna. You see him running by the end of every episode.
9) Pull a prank on Knockout that involves his paintjob and point all the evidence at Breakdown.
10) Ask Breakdown if his name implies something he does when nobodies looking (i.e you can figure the dancing or crying version to be the best).
11) Poke Breakdown's eye-patch and when he turns to see who it is hide. Ke
100 Ways to Annoy Starscream100 Ways to Annoy Starscream:100 Ways to Annoy Starscream4 years ago in Humor More Like This
1) Inform him that Megatron will always be the better leader of the Decepticons. Always.
2) Take a video of Megatron beating up Screamer and post it on Youtube. Be sure every Decepticon and Autobot sees it so they can taunt him about being Megatron's bitch.
3) Ask Starscream where his 'Kiss the Cook' apron is. After all, he has pointed out in multiple universes that he is 'home Megatron' like the good little wife he is.
4) Tell G1 Screamer that in Prime he has 'obsolete' technology that he refuses to upgrade it. Oh yeah, and he no longer has his precious null-ray.
5) Tell Starscream that he is a lying, big-headed, bitchy suck-up of a whimp.
6) Ask Screamer what's up with the constant change in his chin size. Does he enjoy cosmetic surgery that much?
7) Ask Screamer also if that bad attitude has to do with the size of his... ahem... you know.
8) Related to number 7 if you're daring, add that "It's no wonder Megatron's the dominant one in the relation
100 Ways to Annoy Soundwave100 Ways to Annoy Soundwave:100 Ways to Annoy Soundwave4 years ago in Humor More Like This
1) Stand silent beside him, mimicking his movements and actions. When he plays a recording or talks (depends on the generation), open your mouth and pretend to utter the same words mockingly.
2) Ask him if he's the champion of Kaon, then why does he serve under Megatron? Obviously Megatron's a lesser being. Does Soundwave like being someone else's bitch?
3) Compliment Soundwave on his voice and imagination.
4) Inform Soundwave that throwing his emotional processing away in order to make room for more data is a sign of self-abuse.
5) Ask the Communications Officer why he likes colons so much in his dialogue.
6) Tell Soundwave that hiding all of his pets and friends in his chest is a sign of neglect and abuse.
7) Inform G1 Soundwave that cassette's are so out of style. It's all about CD's and DVD's now dude. You're behind on the trend.
8) Ask eagerly for Soundwave to tell you what you're thinking since supposedly his transmission is so powerful
100 Ways to Annoy Megatron100 Ways to Annoy Megatron:100 Ways to Annoy Megatron4 years ago in Humor More Like This
1) Brag about how awesome Optimus Prime is as the leader of the Autobots. Talk about a swell guy! Autobots rule all!
2) Say loudly to anyone in close range how you wish Starscream was leader of the Decepticons, he gives bonuses with pay raises!
3) Inform TFAnimated Megatron that he is the most unique of all the other Megatron's. At least he attempted a new style
4) Compliment G1` Megs on his gun-mode. He's intimidating, and matches the size of Screamer's you know.
5) Ogle over all of the pictures, writings, screenshots, and otherwise of MegsXScreamer/Prime/etc and then ask him as he passes by how he can get away with having so many boyfriends.
6) Shout 'Booty call!' when Starscream tries to have a word with Megatron.
7) Snicker to yourself until Megatron is forced to ask you what's so funny. Then remark, "Megatron the perv!"
8) Explain to Megatron that his ideals to 'conquer and rule the universe' are really stupid and give valid reasons w
100 Ways to Annoy Knockout100 Ways to Annoy Knockout:100 Ways to Annoy Knockout4 years ago in Humor More Like This
1) Tell him that red is defiantly not his color. In fact, you think he could use a paint job. And his optics should now be blue.
2) Explain in a dreamy voice that you would love to ride in the most powerful Cybertronian vehicle out there you want to hear the purr of the engine and feel the soft vibrations of the car yes, you really would love a ride inside of Optimus Prime.
3) Tell Knockout that the Vehicon (Decepticon drones) know more about cars then he does.
4) After a long hard battle against the Autobots, go up to Knockout and say you've seen better fighting from a sparkling. Oh yeah, and he's got some dents and scratches right there, there annnddd there.
5) Scratch Knockout's paint job and tell him with the sweetest voice possible, "Buff that".
6) Explain to Knockout the two main versions of 'knock out' (1: Being drop-dead sexy and 2: being K.O'd in a fight). Then tell him he was named after the second definition, as any Autobot can
100 Ways to Annoy Airachnid100 Ways to Annoy Airachnid:100 Ways to Annoy Airachnid4 years ago in Humor More Like This
1) Send Starscream after Airachnid and watch him squish her with his fabulous heels.
2) Sit around and name ways to kill spiders and mention how much you love to watch their legs twitch when they're dying.
3) Ask Airachnid how her relationship is with Arcee.
4) Ask Airachnid how her relationship is with Jack Darby.
5) Smirk at Airachnid and tell her you're sorry about losing all of her severed heads due to Jack Darby. What's with the face? Too soon?
6) After said 5, ask if Airachnid started re-collecting yet and then snap your fingers and announce, "Oh that's right, you must be having a hard time with Autobots on your tail and 'cons not trusting your webby ass."
7) Say that Airachnid only 'flies solo', per say, is not because others fear her or that she likes to but because she's ugly.
8) Tell Airachnid you feel sorry that Breakdown ever had to have her attached to him. Poor guy!
9) Mention just how low and disgraceful it is for a 'con to go wo
100 Ways to Annoy Shockwave100 Ways to Annoy Shockwave:100 Ways to Annoy Shockwave4 years ago in Humor More Like This
1) Refer to him as the original Cyclops.
2) Tell him quite frankly his plans to destroy Megatron are weak. Starscream defiantly has a better chance than he does.
3) Laugh at Shockwave's Cybertronian gun-mode and say "Don't you wish you were that big!"
4) Throw out illogical answers and questions that make absolutely no sense.
5) Inform Shockwave that hiding his emotions is bad and cause serious damage to his health and mental capabilities. He needs to see a counselor!
6) Inform Shockwave that his demeanor is not all that intimidating. A giant Purple one-eyed weirdy. Really?
7) Rig Shockwave's cannon so that it blows out teddy bears.
8) Inform Shockwave that Soundwave is watching him and not the other way around as he predicted. You are no stealth-ninja of darkness Shockwave. Sorry.
9) Tell Shockwave to pick on 'bots and 'cons his own size. Shouldn't he be taking care of those who actually could cause him a threat first?
10) Tell Bay
100 Ways to Annoy Blitzwing100 Ways to Annoy Blitzwing:100 Ways to Annoy Blitzwing3 years ago in Humor More Like This
1) Grab the Master Disaster's remote from TFA's 'Velocity' episode. Have fun making Blitzwing do whatever you want. That's right, Blitz', WHATEVER the fangirls want.
2) Drive Icy and Hothead crazy by prompting more skits, tea party's, games, and human-phrases and songs with Random.
3) Tell Random how funny it would be to put mutated space barnacles on Icy and Hothead. It may be best to have him loaded on high-grade first.
4) Challenge Hothead to an arm wrestling match and then bring Bulkhead in. When he states that this was a trick, state that you never said YOU would wrestle him. Watch the fight from a distance.
5) Make more factoids and logical explainations than Icy. Then questions his reasons for needing to exist.
6) Offer up Blitzwing to Blackairachnia for experimentation. While he's being injected with organic portions, ask what sort of mutant hybrid and what sort of babies that would produce for the triple-changer.
7) Try copying his accent. O
89 Ways to Annoy Thundercracker89 Ways to Annoy Thundercracker:89 Ways to Annoy Thundercracker3 years ago in Humor More Like This
1) Remark on Thundercracker's apparent concern and sympathy toward humans. Decepticons are supposed to be ruthless, aren't they? This one's a real mechly D'con, let me tell ya.
2) Ask Thundercracker how it feels on being known as, "The other blue Seeker".
3) Remind Thundercracker all the times he bashed Starscream and his apparent inability to lead. Then remark in a stuck up tone how he ever got put on the commanding trine if he didn't really want to be part of the team and just sought to be rude to his trinemates.
4) Mention to Thundercracker how he seems to be one of the most frequent Seekers to fly away first. Ask him why that is.
5) Remark on how once Shrapnel once enslaved Thundercracker, along with others. Ask him how that was possible when he has no processor to begin with.
6) Call him TC/Thunder or 'Cracker as a nickname.
7) Ask if his primary function was always to be deployed as an Energon manufacturer.
8) Remark how Thundercracker enjo
58 Ways to Annoy Dreadwing58 Ways to Annoy Dreadwing:58 Ways to Annoy Dreadwing2 years ago in Humor More Like This
1) Constantly refer him as Skyquake. And then point out as he corrects you, "Oh right, you're that twin."
2) Recolor the poor fragger as Skyquake.
3) Draw pictures of Dreadwing, Skyquake, Megatron and Starscream all having a foursome and print the picture out a million times; pasting them all over the Nemesis.
4) Tell Megatron that Dreadwing has a crush on Optimus Prime. Watch the results.
5) Rig the door's in the Nemesis so that when his specific signature enters that door, it starts playing "What is Love (Baby Don't Hurt Me)".
6) Tweak Dreadwing's gun while he's recharging so that it fires whipped topping.
7) Inform everyone how much of a traitor Dreadwing is for handing over such an important artifact to the Autobutts.
8) Inform Dreadwing that Starscream is the better Second-in-Command.
9) Try climbing into Dreadwing's cockpit when he transforms.
10) Throw stuff at the Seeker's wings whenever you get the chance. Preferably, paintball 'em.
80 Ways to Annoy Skywarp80 Ways to Annoy Skywarp:80 Ways to Annoy Skywarp3 years ago in Humor More Like This
1) Make a warping noise or say "Beam me up Scottie!" everytime that Skywarp teleports.
2) Call him 'Warpy/Warpster as a nickname.
3) Push Skywarp down when he's least expecting it (since he does it to others a lot as it is). You'll only be able to do this once in your life, probably (as he'll either murder you or teleport away every time after) so better cherish it.
4) Mention how Starscream was right; 'Warpy is a big play-baby with no real skills or abilites. What a shame. At least someone should make use of that teleporting ability!
5) Be serious with him at all times. About everything. And only remark that, "Srs face is srs."
6) Mention his apparent useless throughout the G1 series. Psstt, keep making Energon cubes. Yep.
7) Ask if he's a droid worker who dreamed of being a star one day but was just too much of a procrastinator. Because you understand the poor scrapheap. You really do.
8) Tell him that pink is the new black... And purple.
9) Take the
39 Ways to Annoy Skyquake39 Ways to Annoy Skyquake:39 Ways to Annoy Skyquake2 years ago in Humor More Like This
1) Show Zombie!Quake his arm! When he reaches out for it, flee with said arm.
2) Tell Live!Quake that Optimus Prime triumphed and killed Megatron.
3) Inform Live!Quake that Starscream truly is leader of the Decepticons.
4) Say that Dreadwing is the surperior twin.
5) Try locking Live!Quake back up into the chamber for another millenia or two until he gets better manners.
6) Sing and start dancing to Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' in front of Zombie!Quake
7) Repaint Skyquake in Dreadwing's colors.
8) Put a "Skyquake loves Starscream" painted tatto on him. With the two kissing.
9) Continuously question Live!Quake questions that only Dreadwing could answer.
10) Keep mixing him up with Dreadwing. All the time.
11) Make an accurate clay model of Megatron's head. Stab a weapon (preferably sharp) in it. Put said head in a box and wrap said box. Give it to him as a gift, and get some popcorn ready for the tantrum he'll throw. [Kindly submitted by ~Phawlen
91 Ways to Annoy Lugnut91 Ways to Annoy Lugnut:91 Ways to Annoy Lugnut3 years ago in Humor More Like This
1) Remark that he is not his master's favorite. In fact, it's still Shockwave. Sorry. You're just a puppet to Lord Megatron's plans.
2) Tell Lugnut that Megatron is a moron and he should root for the Autobots.
3) Comment on all of Lugnut's FALCON PUNCHING! Then say he didn't do it right.
4) Start singing 'Can't Touch This' by MC Hammer everytime you see him.
5) Question Lugnut's vocabulary skills. Because all you hear is 'glorious' and 'Megatron'. If he doesn't seem to mind, begin to pester his intelligence. If he still doesn't mind, remark that "Only stupid people follow Megatron."
6) Tell Lugnut that you support LugnutxShockwave/Lockdown/Starscream.
7) Say to Lugnut that Megatron lost against the Autobots in the last two 'Endgame' episodes because he is a foolish Decepticon that ruined his 'glorious leaders' plans with how badly he controlled the Omega Supreme clones.
8) Inform Lugnut that he's a big lug that is definitely nutty. See
A Guide to Character DevelopmentNumber One: The CharacterA Guide to Character Development2 years ago in Writing More Like This
Before we really get into the fun nit and grit of character development, you're going to need to have filled out the basics. The best advice that I can offer up for this is to fill out multiple questionnaires and profiles about your character. It's a pretty simple task; you can find questionnaires and profiles all over deviantART and the internet in general (in fact I'll just link you to a few in the author's comment below). It's also not a bad idea to take some Mary-Sue/Gary-Stu tests. Don't take them to heart or take them too personally. They're merely a decent building block step to realizing weaknesses and strengths to work on in character personality. Still, if the rating is obnoxiously high, it's a safe bet that you need to scrap the character and start over or really work out all those kinks you mistakenly put into their bio.
The important things to factor in m
Dead WrongYou thought me to be a villainDead Wrong4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The bad ending to every story
Ruiner of the fairy tale happy endings
That dark souled, black hearted freak
My eyes are filled with hatred
Fingers curled back into claws
I glare into society's mug
And raise a fucking finger
Your voice carries, you know
I hear what you say of me
And just what you think of me
Through the tongue lashing of others
Look deeper inside, though
Find yourself surprised
You'll see a different side all together
Filled with light, love and happiness
So don't judge me
Until you know me
100 Ways to Annoy Ratchet100 Ways to Annoy Ratchet:100 Ways to Annoy Ratchet2 years ago in Humor More Like This
1) Steal Ratchet's equipment; particularly his wrench.
2) Hit people with Ratchet's wrench while acting like the doc' himself.
3) Break Ratchet's equipment frequently.
4) Act like you know more than Ratchet.
5) Tell Ratchet he isn't helpful or instrumental at all in this war.
6) Show him all the ships, pairings, smut, lemons, and otherwise mpreg and otherwise with him in it. Even the stuff shipping him with Optimus/June/Megatron/Knock Out/Wheeljac/etc. Relish the rest of your life knowing you scarred him forever.
7) Mock Ratchet and mimic his gestures.
8) Call him a druggie after the Synthetic Energon incident.
9) Offer to go fetch Ratchet a Scraplet from the artic for him.
10) Ask him when he's going to shut up and just kiss Optimus already to make up for being a bad housewife.
11) Paint a monocle and mustache on Ratchet as he sleeps. If you can make one, also design a top hat and super glue it up top of his head.
12) Shout "HOOAH!" each time that you
100 Ways to Annoy Optimus Prime100 Ways to Annoy Optimus Prime:100 Ways to Annoy Optimus Prime2 years ago in Humor More Like This
1) Refer to Optimus by one of the youtube captions of his name (i.e, Optimist, Octopus Pine, etc.)
2) Run around screaming about how epic the Decepticons are; how they are unbeatable and have a vast amount of members. Add how there's a handful of Autoboob failures in retrospect.
3) Have tons of political extremists from any/all parties try to have "diplomatic" discussions in Optimus' presence.
4) Dress up as Megatron and begin the usual "One shall stand, one shall fall" speech.
5) Try driving Optimus when he's in his alt mode. Refuse to let him drive and continue attempting to do so, even if he corrects you.
6) Show Optimus all of the porn and smut based around his character. And all that MPreg. Lots and lots of Mpreg.
7) Ask stupid, ridiculous questions hundreds upon hundreds of time until he finally snaps at you to cut it out.
8) Endanger others. Anyone at all. Frequently.
9) Offer any version of OP other than Bayverse the idea of painting flam
66 Ways to Annoy Wheeljack66 Ways to Annoy Wheeljack:66 Ways to Annoy Wheeljack2 years ago in Humor More Like This
1) Tell Wheeljack that all he's good for is blowing stuff up and can't build worth scrap.
2) Call G1 Wheeljack an "old man". Refer to him as being up there with some of Iacon's older relics. Or older than Alpha Trion.
3) Tell Wheeljack that no one noticed his passing in "The Transformers: The Movie" in 1986.
4) Ask TFP Jackie where his and Ratchet's Dinobots are. They invent such cute monster-babies together!
5) Squeal when Wheeljack and Ratchet are close to one another. When they turn to stare at you, scream, "I ship it!"
6) Scoff at Wheeljack. Tell him he's not a lone-wolf, he's just a coward.
7) Steal Wheeljack's grenades whenever you can and stock-pile them. If he notices, he'll be mildly annoyed. If he doesn't eventually gather enough to start randomly blowing things up and blaming it on Wheeljack. Or blow up the Jackhammer. Again.
8) Even though Wheeljack seemed to take his defeat against Hardshell well and admit Miko to Wrecker ranks, remind hi