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gamble on me.hey boy,gamble on me.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i think you should know that you’re twisting my spine into knots and clogging up my arteries and the least you could do is give me a second of your time. i think you should give me a chance. you should know that you make my hands itch when you smile because i want to brush my thumb over your cheekbones. that my shoulders are trembling because i can imagine them resting against your chest, the idea of the warmth shotgunning straight to my nerves.
i think you should know you’re making a relatively sane girl misplace her mind.
and i know you’re so much more than you’ll ever imagine, that you are making me tangle w
when i say it isn't personal.and if it’s cold in the middle of the night, you can trust me to burn the building down.when i say it isn't personal.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
if the walls are too tall and the secrets too thick. if you can’t breathe past the black souls twisted around ash-lungs then follow me. trust me to start a riot. because we are more than they can handle, because we are smoldering indecently, we are young and heroic and flawed and angry. because we are bleeding hands tearing down doors, we are throwing fists against impassive chests.
we are feeling too much while they aren’t feeling enough.
and you better believe me: we’re going to revolt.
and if they try to stop us, we will hurdle
our core connects_cjared,our core connects_c4 years ago in General More Like This
i don’t know why i’m writing this except for it’s midnight and you always liked this hour best. dylan is asleep in the other room and sometimes when he snores i swear it sounds like you. it burns my lungs to listen to it, because when i close my eyes, i can pretend you’re here and that in thirty seconds you’re going to groan and throw your arm over my waist and sleepily nuzzle my neck like you always did.
i can’t spend many nights awake because of it.
i can’t believe i’m telling you this. you are such a bastard, you know that? you’re the only person in the world who eats up my heart like
if you keep getting under.i saw you today and said ‘hey’if you keep getting under.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
but what i meant was:
‘holyhell, you’re beautiful. you look like sunshine trapped in mason jars and fireflies stuck in moonbeams. you have a smile that punches straight to the spinal cord, did you know that? i just spent the last five seconds rebooting my heart, training my lungs how to breathe again. exhale, inhale. it should be simple but you’ve snarled it all in a giant mess. i’m unwinding the ball of yarn into a straight jacket and you’re as unaffected as the sea. i’d say i’m a boat but i’m hardly as sturdy. i’m a feather. it’s almost funny how li
this might be foolish.forty-nine hours ago: we were pressing fingers together through frosted windowpanes, laughing at our reflections and sticking out tongues through frost-bitten teeth. we were gently whispering through the snow to kiss the glass, the intimacy of our own breath steaming down our throats never able to take the place of what we imagine it’d be like to breathe each other’s carbon dioxide.this might be foolish.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
thirty-five hours ago: we were running down fields clutching dandelions between our fingers, throwing our heads back to expose our neck to the whipping wind and trusting it not cut the slender expanse of it. we were tumbling down the grassy knolls and l
it's not what you think.this is just a bruise, don’t you understand? i drank too many diet cokes too quickly, i stood up when i should have been lying down, i stared at the sun for too long. i ran too long with my lungs begging to collapse, i fell down the stairs and swallowed my kidney. i just tripped. it was just a mistake. it’s not what you think it is.it's not what you think.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
and this, this is just heart burn, don’t worry yourself over it. i swallowed too many peppers without a glass of milk to coat my throat, i let the knife slip when i was cutting up the apple. i bit my tongue when i was running to catch the bus, i stayed under the bathwater too long until i was blue-
can't you hear me?xx.can't you hear me?4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
you are beautiful even if you can’t see it. you are flesh pulled-tight over needles-and-thread ribs and eyes fogged over with your latest drug. you are a drunk tongue and a loose smile, butterfly fingers thrumming on your thigh because you’re too medicated for them to not be doing something. you are waterlogged from drowning in your insecurities for so long, moth-eaten from rotting in the back of the closet of your addictions.
but you are beautiful. because under the fog you are flickering like a single firefly. because you’re just trying to hide his acidic criticism under your translucent skin. and i know you can open ch
paper bridges_cdear jamie,paper bridges_c4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i’m looking out my window and watching the world come down in icy slivers and it’s making me think of that time when we ran down the road with nothing on but our swimsuits and laughter. we used to share everything. our clothes, our make-up, our books, our stories, our weaknesses, our time. now we just share memories and folded paper. but don’t worry, four years and we’ll be back on the same street and these letters will bridge the gap that distance tried to carve. we’re stronger than that.
oh, i almost forgot to tell you! this morning i saw a guy that looked just like that ac
if i'm not living with youmy eyelashes are tied into knots and my lips are stapled together. i’m laying in the middle of the floor and i’m realizing that my hips are disintegrating from lack of use. my knees are knocking together and melting, my shoulder blades are flying towards one another but never touching. and my throat is simply rusting over from all the sea air i’ve been gulping trying to keep my lungs from suicide jumping.if i'm not living with you4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
{i cannot live without you, my body can’t stand the abuse of neglect}
my eyes are turning to salt and dissolving down my cheeks, burning the cracks in my chapped lips, leaving white traces along my jaw. my hair is snarl
my little heart of mine.dear little heart of mine,my little heart of mine.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i need you to be brave for me. i know you're trembling on wires and clacking against bird-bone ribs, but i need you to set your teeth and stiffen that upper lip. i know it's scary and we aren't getting any medals for courage any time soon, but i think if we both hold hands and close our eyes, we can get through this.
i need you to know though that this is probably going to hurt.
i'm not saying we'll be bleeding and gasping on the floor. i'm not saying we're going to lock the front gates and shut off the lights and fasten the shutters, but i can't lie to you and say we will be living in eternal sunshine. we won't.
i'm the girl.you want to know who i am?i'm the girl.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i am the girl falling asleep headfirst on top of the covers to the clackclackclacking of the rain against the windowpane. i am dreaming in tarnished poetry and rotting hopes, birdbone-wrists locking together, fingers plucking the strings along guitar-ribs. i am loving myself even as i pull apart wishbone-veins, stringing myself out across the carpet to pick out the parts i like best.
and i am the girl wandering the aisles of the book store. i am curling in corners with hemmingway, touching the pages like a lover, smelling the ink because i’m the girl who thinks books smell like faith. i’m tucking myself
we are a sunrise.we are no more than a softly whispered if.we are a sunrise.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
we are smoke rings in the dark, soap bubbles on the lip of the water. we are bright eyes and shy fingers touching through the veil of introductions. we are racing side by side down separate book aisles, not calling out to one another but comforted in the echo of each others' pulse. we are strangers who aren't strange to one another at all, promises scrawled in folded pieces of paper, slipped under door cracks in the middle of the night.
possibilities are glowing iridescent between us, eyes overbright as we dance circles around one another. we're shoved into rooms filtered with sundust, lips praying
hello, beautiful.these are the times i will always remember:hello, beautiful.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
walking through crowded coffee shops to see you sitting in the corner, steaming cups on the table and bright eyes lighting up the room. hellos tripping over my tongue, shy glances and bitten lips, toes curling in my shoes. hearing your baritone voice for the first time, tying my lips into knots as i fumbled over the introductions.
sitting on my bed, shaking the walls with laughter, your arms holding me close into the curve of your body. driving with the windows down while holding hands, the wind painting butterflies on my neck.
not knowing a thing about you but wanting to pick up the candle and e
hearts are for rebuilding_ci.hearts are for rebuilding_c4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
when i remember you, i remember the way you laughed when i mixed up teaspoons and tablespoons.
i remember the way you refused to eat the cake because you said it was too salty and the way i stood crying over the sink when i shoved it down the disposal. i remember how you left me standing in the middle of the floured, sugared, baked-on-mess kitchen to finish the tivo-game, patting me on the back and saying ‘nice try.’
it was when i was wiping my tears with the back of my hand that i best remember holding my heart close, telling it ‘nice try.’ maybe next time we’d fall in love with someone who saw us when they loo
i'm sorry.i am sorry if i am not what you expected.i'm sorry.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i am sorry if i am not slender or cunning or sticking to the schedule or falling into the precision of appointments and the rules of poetry. i am sorry if i am wringing my fingers dry and running out of paper and bleeding ink through my eyelids. i am sorry if i am butchering words and stitching their bleeding pieces into something i can lie and call beautiful. i am sorry that i can’t stick to your grammar, your syntax, your expectations, your rules. i am sorry, i tried.
i can’t help that i am running barefoot through the grocery store because i forgot my shoes or that i am driving through
losing myself.it’s the morning and i’m lying on my bed.losing myself.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i’m listening to the sun raining through my window, the birds chirping, the sound of me losing my feet and finding my dreamer’s bone.
my pillow smells like you, like lust, like finding something worth dreaming about.
in a few minutes i’ll get up, pour myself a cup of coffee, dance in socks around the kitchen, take this new feeling blossoming in my chest and hold it tight.
but for now, i’ll smile, kiss you awake, trace the angles of your chest. but for now, i’ll bask in you.
+
it’s the afternoon and i’m sitting at my desk.
i’m staring at a blank
and when i live.i am sleeping in the middle of wheat fields.and when i live.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i am curled into the soil with the sun filtering through my eyelids and the warmth of the earth pressed against my hip. i am holding my stomach with gentle hands, lips parted to breathe in the sweet air. i am dreaming of feathers running down my spine and of blowing bubbles while running down sloping hills. i am dreaming of kisses at dawn and hands cradling my cheek and laughing over coffee with my best friend.
and when i wake, i am tranquil and serene and peaceful.
and when i wake, i am alive.
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i am swimming in the belly of the ocean.
i am twisting in the clever hands of her currents, my h
look, she's crying over him.five years ago--look, she's crying over him.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
we were all elbows and sheltered self-esteems. we weren’t noticing each other except for bumping knees and walking into each other when walking around corners. we were nameless faces in the middle of the dance floor and hesitant hands touching. i was teaching you how to move gawky feet and a stiff spine, you were hitched-laughter fogging over my ear. we were wide eyes and gangly legs and fast music. we were bubble-gum-breath and coca-cola-fingers, breaking apart like nervous colts at the end of the song.
and all the parents said: ‘look, how sweet, she’s his first dance.’
two years ago--
we were all che
when i say one day.one day, i'll smile when i remember you.when i say one day.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
if the winds of change have stopped blowing and i find myself tossed out of the gusts, i'll smooth back my hair and sink to the ground. and if it is silent where i sit, i'll close my eyes and face the memories i've been running from. i'll remember the way you ducked your head when you laughed or contorted your face to catch me off guard. i'll remember the way you could slip a word into a conversation that would completely derail me and how you'd use your next breath to scoop me back up. i'll remember the way i was never sure of where i stood with you but how i always knew i didn't want to b
my thoughts are fear biters.my heart is too wildmy thoughts are fear biters.4 years ago in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
for me to cage it in a
meaningful haiku.
i'll come home.dear holly,i'll come home.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
the plane is rolling away and i can still see you waving. you are so beautiful, do you know that? your hair is fluttering at the temples and i can see you’re crying, but don’t worry, baby, i’ll be home soon. i know how this looks, the way the door shutting me off is so final, but it’ll open again and you’ll be running down the airport terminal and i’ll be there to catch you.
count the days until i come home, i’ll be counting them with you.
love,
me
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dear charlie,
i’m home and the house is empty without you. it feels like the walls are exhaling in regret and it’s a bitter feeling
i'm running out of excuses.i am shaking with broken bones and trembling fingers.i'm running out of excuses.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i’m digging myself into holes until i’m ten feet from the surface and gasping for air. and you’re standing at the top with half-crescent smiles and gilded lies falling from between your teeth. you’re breathing in carbon dioxide while you sip on gasoline, saying the things that are worst for us are sometimes exactly what we need. i don’t know what you mean but i’d like to imagine if i could touch you, you’d go up in smoke.
this is when you call me painfully beautiful and kick down a rock, wait until you hear it hit the bottom before you giggle like a chi
i'm injecting this love song.dear ribs,i'm injecting this love song.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
thank you for protecting what i hold most precious. thank you for blocking the bigger blows, absorbing the momentum with a shock and a shudder. i know it isn't easy to stand guard, but i breathe easy knowing you're there to shield me. maybe someday i'll unlock you at the clavicle and open you up, but for now: stay strong.
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dear fingers,
thank you for never complaining when i shove you into all my messes. thank you for working through the worst of the damage, straightening up my mistakes with surgical precision. i know it's hard working solo but i have such confidence in you. maybe someday we'll find someone that'll fill up you
i know i'm reckless.i know it’s not easy loving a tumbleweed of a woman.i know i'm reckless.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
[but you’re still hot on my trail when the rebel stars shine.]
i know your fingers sting from snagging them on wild-rose-thorns.
[but you’re still holding my hand and ignoring the trickling blood.]
i know it bruises when you get tangled in barbed-wire-smiles.
[but you’re still kissing my lips and calling me beautiful.]
i know you get tired chasing my vagabond-heart.
[but you aren’t trying to hobble my nomad-feet.]
i know you blame yourself when i crackle and explode.
[but you aren’t letting me see you cry when you piece me back together.]
and i know
Sta.sh
