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if i'm not living with youmy eyelashes are tied into knots and my lips are stapled together. i’m laying in the middle of the floor and i’m realizing that my hips are disintegrating from lack of use. my knees are knocking together and melting, my shoulder blades are flying towards one another but never touching. and my throat is simply rusting over from all the sea air i’ve been gulping trying to keep my lungs from suicide jumping.if i'm not living with you4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
{i cannot live without you, my body can’t stand the abuse of neglect}
my eyes are turning to salt and dissolving down my cheeks, burning the cracks in my chapped lips, leaving white traces along my jaw. my hair is snarl
gamble on me.hey boy,gamble on me.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i think you should know that you’re twisting my spine into knots and clogging up my arteries and the least you could do is give me a second of your time. i think you should give me a chance. you should know that you make my hands itch when you smile because i want to brush my thumb over your cheekbones. that my shoulders are trembling because i can imagine them resting against your chest, the idea of the warmth shotgunning straight to my nerves.
i think you should know you’re making a relatively sane girl misplace her mind.
and i know you’re so much more than you’ll ever imagine, that you are making me tangle w
it's not what you think.this is just a bruise, don’t you understand? i drank too many diet cokes too quickly, i stood up when i should have been lying down, i stared at the sun for too long. i ran too long with my lungs begging to collapse, i fell down the stairs and swallowed my kidney. i just tripped. it was just a mistake. it’s not what you think it is.it's not what you think.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
and this, this is just heart burn, don’t worry yourself over it. i swallowed too many peppers without a glass of milk to coat my throat, i let the knife slip when i was cutting up the apple. i bit my tongue when i was running to catch the bus, i stayed under the bathwater too long until i was blue-
sinning tongues still confess.[one] i just hope that you know that you are beautiful.sinning tongues still confess.4 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
i hope when you’re looking into the mirror and are
bemoaning pale cheeks and angled eyes that you know
these are the things that make you the most breathtaking.
and when the ones you trust turn their backs, realize that
they are the ones lacking: not you. i hope you know that
you are intelligent and compassionate and all together
lovely. you are every single thing that every single person
should aspire to be.
[two] i wish you knew how i would fold at the knees like
faded denim if you weren’t there to hold me up. i wish
i had the words to tell you that you’re
this one's for you.because you are keeping my legs from folding.this one's for you.4 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
because when i am tired, i am leaning on you, when i am sad, i am crawling into your comfort. because you are hooking my lips and pulling them into a smile, building a fire in the belly of my soul and warming me from the inside out.
because when i am lost, you are pointing in the right direction, when i am shaking, you’re holding my hand and whispering it will be alright.
and because when i’m incoherent you’re closing your eyes and saying my rambling sounds a little like a creek. because when i’m jumping from thought to thought without leaving a trail, you’re laughing a
paper bridges_cdear jamie,paper bridges_c4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i’m looking out my window and watching the world come down in icy slivers and it’s making me think of that time when we ran down the road with nothing on but our swimsuits and laughter. we used to share everything. our clothes, our make-up, our books, our stories, our weaknesses, our time. now we just share memories and folded paper. but don’t worry, four years and we’ll be back on the same street and these letters will bridge the gap that distance tried to carve. we’re stronger than that.
oh, i almost forgot to tell you! this morning i saw a guy that looked just like that ac
let's run away.let’s get out of town. let’s steal the neighbors truck and drive it into the ocean. let’s melt along desert highways and freeze on mountain ranges. let’s fill our lungs with saltwater and wring out our hearts in sundried wind.let's run away.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
trust me, my bags are already packed. i need to sit in the passenger seat with my feet hanging out the window. i need to hold your hand and let the distance fade our problems like a school-yard-eraser. because in that truck cab, there can’t be anything but us. there won’t be room for our insecurities or mistakes or flaws or regrets. there will just be us.
and that’ll be enough. we
this might be foolish.forty-nine hours ago: we were pressing fingers together through frosted windowpanes, laughing at our reflections and sticking out tongues through frost-bitten teeth. we were gently whispering through the snow to kiss the glass, the intimacy of our own breath steaming down our throats never able to take the place of what we imagine it’d be like to breathe each other’s carbon dioxide.this might be foolish.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
thirty-five hours ago: we were running down fields clutching dandelions between our fingers, throwing our heads back to expose our neck to the whipping wind and trusting it not cut the slender expanse of it. we were tumbling down the grassy knolls and l
i know i'm reckless.i know it’s not easy loving a tumbleweed of a woman.i know i'm reckless.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
[but you’re still hot on my trail when the rebel stars shine.]
i know your fingers sting from snagging them on wild-rose-thorns.
[but you’re still holding my hand and ignoring the trickling blood.]
i know it bruises when you get tangled in barbed-wire-smiles.
[but you’re still kissing my lips and calling me beautiful.]
i know you get tired chasing my vagabond-heart.
[but you aren’t trying to hobble my nomad-feet.]
i know you blame yourself when i crackle and explode.
[but you aren’t letting me see you cry when you piece me back together.]
and i know
when i say it isn't personal.and if it’s cold in the middle of the night, you can trust me to burn the building down.when i say it isn't personal.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
if the walls are too tall and the secrets too thick. if you can’t breathe past the black souls twisted around ash-lungs then follow me. trust me to start a riot. because we are more than they can handle, because we are smoldering indecently, we are young and heroic and flawed and angry. because we are bleeding hands tearing down doors, we are throwing fists against impassive chests.
we are feeling too much while they aren’t feeling enough.
and you better believe me: we’re going to revolt.
and if they try to stop us, we will hurdle
can't wait forever.because, boy, you know i’m looking for you, but i’m not sure i’ll ever find you.can't wait forever.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i’m spending my days watching the different eyes that go by but they all have the wrong angle or the wrong shape or they’re a little too gray instead of the blue that i know you’ll have. there are too many creases where they’ve frowned too many times and are a touch too red from too much alcohol when i know you’ll have at least some idea of moderation. they’re all wrong because they’re not yours.
and i’m spending my nights listening to the different laughs riding the airwaves but they’re all the wrong
i'm sorry.i am sorry if i am not what you expected.i'm sorry.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i am sorry if i am not slender or cunning or sticking to the schedule or falling into the precision of appointments and the rules of poetry. i am sorry if i am wringing my fingers dry and running out of paper and bleeding ink through my eyelids. i am sorry if i am butchering words and stitching their bleeding pieces into something i can lie and call beautiful. i am sorry that i can’t stick to your grammar, your syntax, your expectations, your rules. i am sorry, i tried.
i can’t help that i am running barefoot through the grocery store because i forgot my shoes or that i am driving through
look, she's crying over him.five years ago--look, she's crying over him.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
we were all elbows and sheltered self-esteems. we weren’t noticing each other except for bumping knees and walking into each other when walking around corners. we were nameless faces in the middle of the dance floor and hesitant hands touching. i was teaching you how to move gawky feet and a stiff spine, you were hitched-laughter fogging over my ear. we were wide eyes and gangly legs and fast music. we were bubble-gum-breath and coca-cola-fingers, breaking apart like nervous colts at the end of the song.
and all the parents said: ‘look, how sweet, she’s his first dance.’
two years ago--
we were all che
i'm breathing without lungs.don't apologize. i can't breathe. i collapsed on the stairs at a quarter to two and i haven't found my feet yet. please help me up. please push me down. i think i'm letting my lungs collapse. i think i just spit up saltwater. is the carpet staining? i need you to grab my hand. i need you to hold my lungs together. i need you. i need you.i'm breathing without lungs.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
is it night yet? i can't see the stars. i can't feel the wind. my skin is numb and my eyes are on fire and i'm sitting in the middle of a room without windows and i can't breathe. why aren't you listening? can't you hear me? i'm choking on regrets. i'm choking on my spine. i'm coughing up alcohol from last n
and when i live.i am sleeping in the middle of wheat fields.and when i live.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i am curled into the soil with the sun filtering through my eyelids and the warmth of the earth pressed against my hip. i am holding my stomach with gentle hands, lips parted to breathe in the sweet air. i am dreaming of feathers running down my spine and of blowing bubbles while running down sloping hills. i am dreaming of kisses at dawn and hands cradling my cheek and laughing over coffee with my best friend.
and when i wake, i am tranquil and serene and peaceful.
and when i wake, i am alive.
+
i am swimming in the belly of the ocean.
i am twisting in the clever hands of her currents, my h
if you keep getting under.i saw you today and said ‘hey’if you keep getting under.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
but what i meant was:
‘holyhell, you’re beautiful. you look like sunshine trapped in mason jars and fireflies stuck in moonbeams. you have a smile that punches straight to the spinal cord, did you know that? i just spent the last five seconds rebooting my heart, training my lungs how to breathe again. exhale, inhale. it should be simple but you’ve snarled it all in a giant mess. i’m unwinding the ball of yarn into a straight jacket and you’re as unaffected as the sea. i’d say i’m a boat but i’m hardly as sturdy. i’m a feather. it’s almost funny how li
late this october night.right now:late this october night.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
the train is bulleting ten times faster than recommended down the tracks. sparks are cascading as the metal punches sporadic screams through the air. inside the cabin there are taut fingers clawing at the sides of the seats, praying lips asking for salvation as oxygen is whipped from the passengers’ gaping lungs. a mother is pressing chapped lips to her son’s tan forehead, a husband is folding his wife’s leathery hand in his for the last time. all chests are expanded and compressed against the back of the seats, hearts imploding as the track dissolves under grinding wheels.
the train rolls on, the screams roll on,
we're breaking fate.i'm crying but there are no tears; i'm laughing but there is no sound.we're breaking fate.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
music is playing but i can't cage the beat. i'm just sitting in the middle of a wind storm and counting the seconds to sleep. counting the seconds until i fly. counting the seconds until i can see your face again. because your mouth is like whiskey and i'm always under the influence whenever you're around. ohoh, if i had the words, i'd give them all to you in a beat of my stuttering heart. because you always know that everything i want is everything you have and everything i have is already yours.
i can't keep myself from you. i can't keep myself from the flames but i'm
i trust you to know.if i could crack my ribs apart at the sternum, i’d let you dip your fingers beneath the bleached bones.i trust you to know.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
there isn’t anyone else i’d trust enough to not be impatient. there isn’t anyone else i’d trust to not simply cut through the brittle, snarled vines encasing my heart. but i trust you. i trust you to see that the vines need to be unwound layer by layer. i trust you to see that to cut to the quick would only bleed me out. i trust you to know that i can’t bear to stain the carpet yet again.
i trust you to see that the thorns are embedded deep, the insecurities tangled with the nervous laughs, that i’m biti
i'll come home.dear holly,i'll come home.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
the plane is rolling away and i can still see you waving. you are so beautiful, do you know that? your hair is fluttering at the temples and i can see you’re crying, but don’t worry, baby, i’ll be home soon. i know how this looks, the way the door shutting me off is so final, but it’ll open again and you’ll be running down the airport terminal and i’ll be there to catch you.
count the days until i come home, i’ll be counting them with you.
love,
me
+
dear charlie,
i’m home and the house is empty without you. it feels like the walls are exhaling in regret and it’s a bitter feeling
then again, maybe.maybe i am the reason this bed is emptyemptyempty but for one.then again, maybe.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
maybe i am the explanation for the way the tires are peeling out or the way you’ve already changed your voicemail to ‘me’ instead of ‘we.’ maybe i am the excuse for the way our love has a white flag and is curled in the corner, calling mercymercymercy.
maybe i am the poison-tongue and killing-hands that you tell me i am, maybe you deserve someone who doesn’t unravel like yarn in the afternoon, click their tongue against their mouth and expect you to help gather the pieces and put them back together in the evening.
maybe i am toomuchtoomuchtoomuch f
pretty words, dead flowers_ci want a boy that makes me weak in the elbows.pretty words, dead flowers_c4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i want him to drive a red camaro and put pens behind his ear because he’s scared he’ll think of something he needs to say when there’s no one around. i want him to never hesitate to hug me from behind or throw me over his shoulder and spin me until i swallow my spine. i want him to mess up my hair and pinch my cheek and then kiss me until my teeth are shaking and my nerves are smoking. i don’t know where he is yet, but i know i’ll find him.
-
well, i won't make you weak in the elbows, but i can make you weak in your ribcage; i can tame the struggling butterflies and te
i'm the girl.you want to know who i am?i'm the girl.4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i am the girl falling asleep headfirst on top of the covers to the clackclackclacking of the rain against the windowpane. i am dreaming in tarnished poetry and rotting hopes, birdbone-wrists locking together, fingers plucking the strings along guitar-ribs. i am loving myself even as i pull apart wishbone-veins, stringing myself out across the carpet to pick out the parts i like best.
and i am the girl wandering the aisles of the book store. i am curling in corners with hemmingway, touching the pages like a lover, smelling the ink because i’m the girl who thinks books smell like faith. i’m tucking myself
truth flavoured lies_cthe lie about me:truth flavoured lies_c4 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i am beautiful like freshly-cut grass and popsicles in the middle of the day. i am summer-lips and winter-teeth, laughing my way through autumn-leaves. i am branding laughter against the back of my throat so i can feel it with every breath i draw in, soaking in your words as i stick them under my tongue and save them for a while. i am living for the moment and dancing without caring who’s watching. i am loving recklessly and throwing my heart into the wind with wild abandon. i am calling each scar a beauty mark and opening my arms wide to catch the wind. you are calling me ‘love’ and i am answering.
the trut
Sta.sh
