DepartureThe world hasDeparture6 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
taken you from
our firm grasp,
but the pain
you felt in life
has faded away.
You wait patiently
for us to follow,
to see you again
in a better light.
No sorrow dwells
within in the realm
in which you now
lay your head to rest.
August 3rd, 2010
Nights of PainDying now, stop the presses,Nights of Pain5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Yet another broken man confesses,
I press the gun to my face,
Just another disgrace,
A splash of blood, another roll of film to replace anew
If only they would have knew,
I'm gone, I'm not strong, I'm weak,
If only they would have heard me speak,
Eyes closing, I'm flying,
Oh god I'm dying,
Life leaving me, leaving everything behind,
Now I can only be a memory to remind,
Only now a stain,
Left to remind those I love of my nights of pain.
I've always liked the rainI have always liked the rain.I've always liked the rain6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The melancholic memories
riding each droplet
The songs of lost Happiness
drowning in the water puddles
I have always liked the rain.
What a sight to behold
What a divine melody
While a thousand souls fall to their death
While the heavens are crying
I have always liked the rain.
Trapped in my HeadEyes brokenTrapped in my Head6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Tears falling down my face.
where can I begin again?
I can't be free
Trapped in the past once again.
I try to bleed
but my weakness draws me in.
My body shakes.
The bones want to break.
My soul weeps.
Please heaven have me.
I can't escape.
My heart simply wants to break.
And I fall down to my knees
and beg god to please kill me.
I have fallen from grace
life is just a blur to me.
I regret every pain
I have made to them.
Please don't leave me
to wither in my own disgrace.
I cry to those
who I have bore in my womb.
For their blood to call
the love they felt before for me.
But I can't right the wrongs
that i have made.
And all I want to do
is just start things over again.
But pieces of my sanity wont fit
and I watch them all fall away.
With the pieces that i have lost
smoldering and destroying
Life just seems never to reach an end.
Why cant i just sleep forever?
With lithium flowing in my blood...
but the past is not done with me
It just wont let me go!
And all i wan
it rained one year ago today.so i thought iit rained one year ago today.6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
was invisible; and i
could hide from you and
your glances that cripple
so i thought you were
deaf; and you couldn't
hear me and i didn't
have to hide my words
with my actions.
so i thought i was
gone; and you weren't a part
of me anymore, but you found
to stay inside of me when
it is cold outside and i'm
sitting on your porch
waiting for you to
again; i remember one
year ago today, when we stood together
in the streets; in traffic.
we felt free.
we felt safe.
PenitenceBlame, guilt,Penitence6 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
I cannot break
around my neck
like a noose.
I choke on
my own guilt.
Do the mistakes
that I have made
cause others to
I am descending
and I know not
where this ends.
July 9th, 2010
DepredationDrain the life from me,Depredation6 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
for my eternal flower
has withered away.
No nectar dwells within
and you have ceased
to blossom in my heart.
You are entangled
like an unruly weed,
and I would rip my
own heart from chest
if it would but rid me of
the discomfort you breed.
July 12th, 2010
painting flowers.I wanna see your face & know I made it home.painting flowers.6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The wind was cold against my bare neck,
waves lapped at my feet.
A sigh escaped my mouth
and I could feel my knees giving out.
I could hear their voices drifting down the shore to my ears.
Within moments I was on my knees,
the sea water making my shorts wet.
I was very aware of the looks they were sending my way.
Looks of disgust, they thought I was some stupid animal.
They had no idea of what I could do to them.
A breeze blew my hair into my face,
with a huff I quickly pulled it into a messy ponytail.
I could feel the hair band slipping, but i didn't fix it.
'I am still painting flowers for you'
My head rose from my hands,
I looked around me but all I could see was the sea and sand.
Nothing was making sense.
'When I wake up, the dream isn't done.'
I could hear his voice,
but he was nowhere to be seen.
It's just my mind playing tricks on me, I thought,
you just miss him.
The tears welled up in my eyes,
and I hesitated le
It's all because of youIt's all because of youIt's all because of you6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The smell of fallen rain
The smell of sweet mown grass
The morning dew on flower
The smell of fresh baked bread
The rays of sun as diamond light
The rays refracted light of rainbow bright
Morning stars and evening light
Merge as one from dawn to night
Life it ends and death begins
Recycle re-told, regain and re-fold
From old to new
And end to you
And time adieu
It all begins and ends with you
Friends Grow ApartI was once youngFriends Grow Apart6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A silly child
Unknowing to the world
To the pain it causes
But why is this pain caused?
People grow up
People make mistakes
Love is thrown around as if it's just another word
Some don't seem to get that,
While others do
Those are the ones that get hurt
That's why my friends aren't hurt
Some of them
They go around daily
Saying it out of habit
But do they truly mean it?
I doubt it
I feel like I'm losing them
As though they're drifting farther and farther away
There was a time,
When we used to be close
But that was long ago
And now they've moved on
Onto bigger things
Onto better things
Why couldn't we all just stay little?
Stay ignorant of the world and what lay before us?
Because life is cruel
Life forces you to make decisions,
Even if you don't want to
I'm always behind them
I'm still a kid at heart
I don't want to grow up
But I know I have to
I'll never be as far ahead as them,
And maybe that's why ev
Where's the Sun?How are you supposed to live,Where's the Sun?5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
When you have nothing to live for?
There are friends
But how can you be sure that they're even real?
Even if you've had them your entire life
After a while,
Everything becomes questionable
You don't know who you can trust
Who you can truly call your friend,
And who's just using you for their own game
I've been used
I'm still being used
I'm trying to find something to live for,
But there's an enormous rain cloud hovering over my entire life
It's clouding my judgment
It's making me turn from those who love me most
But how do I escape?
Not until I find a savior
Who will be ready to catch me when I fall
Maybe then the sun will come back to me
TimeThe wound will never lastTime6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
As long as Time will pass
It carries away our shame,
And breaks all old chains.
Time will heal all our pain
Yet we will never be the same.
Time steals a part of us,
Till we do not remember what was.
Time dissipates all strife,
Yet at what price?
When Time calls our name,
We die all the same.
I'll take pain over peace,
For it proves I'm alive at least.
I'll struggle against time,
Till, i take whats rightfully mine.
Bring on your pain,
Your doubts, and your shame,
Bring on all you can bear,
I'll take it all, I won't share.
Too SmallAlone.Too Small6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A word far too small
to describe the emptiness
that it entails.
Far too small
to embody the pain
not nearly big enough.
and in pain,
if a reason exists:
a reason for why
a reason for why
I step on my own toes.
I had a chance
my abrasive demeanor.
You offered me security,
and I ran
like a coward
into the arms of promiscuity
I turned my back
on the one person
who tried to save me.
And I don't know
how to save myself;
I don't even know
if I deserve
to be saved.
So I remain
in this self-inflicted
unable to forgive myself.
I am nothing
but a thankless recreant.
I am nothing
I envy her soEvery time I read her wordsI envy her so5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I'm left with shivers or
awe inspiring warmth-
down my curving spine.
Delicate or harsh,
my words in comparison
seem like broken wings
severed from bird bodies
while hers float on complete eagles.
Fact or fiction,
words of intrigue pound my sternum
and I cannot compare
to the way she reaches
into the chest and plays melodies.
She tremors ventricles.
Learning to let go This time he woke up screaming. Her eyes had looked at him in such a way that for the first time he felt fear. No longer were they just haunted and pained. There was a new emotion in them and that scared him. Betrayal, he was not sure he would be able to handle that emotion coming from her, especially from her. Yet he could not get rid of that niggling feeling that he was infact the one responsible for her predicament. Sighing, he slowly dragged himself from bed. The clock showed 4 30am. Always 4 30am. He thought of throwing the clock against the wall, but he knew that it would just be pointless. Cursing under his breath, he grabbed a towel and went off to the bathroom to get ready for another day of hell.Learning to let go6 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
I'm The GirlI'm the girl nobody notices because she hides herself from the world.I'm The Girl6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I'm the girl who doesn't have a clue about how to act around the guys she crushes on.
I'm the girl who would make an idiot of herself to make others happy.
I'm the girl who fears being judged by others.
I'm the girl who is plagued by hate for herself.
I'm the girl who seems to break everything she lays a hand on.
I'm the girl with the red-hot temper and the crushing depression.
I'm the girl who liked to talk but never got the courage to follow through with anything.
I'm the girl nobody could love because she hid in the shadows.
The one who was too shy to communicate with those she didn't know.
I'm the girl who wanted to be loved, kissed and hugged.
The one who lied constantly and let emotions get the better of her.
I'm the girl who wears a mask at every waking moment.
I'm the girl who wishes she was somebody else.
Sometimes it hurts.Sometimes I get the impulseSometimes it hurts.6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
To just take you by the hand
And show you what it feels like
To really be loved
Because sometimes I can't imagine
That anybody could love you like I do
Sometimes I want to take your heart
And put it next to mine
So that they can share stories
Of how much mine aches all the time
Sometimes I want to let you in
So you can know that I hold on so tight
Because I'm afraid that it will be the last time I do
Sometimes I want to lose my pride
And let you see the tears
As they stream down my face
Sometimes I want to whisper
I love you
And sometimes those words are fighting with my tongue
As I restrain myself from shouting them at you
I'm glad you're a friend.
Just a memoryOur last kiss was so fleetingJust a memory6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Like a passing dream you were gone
It feels like you were only a memory
That warm tingle on my lips is long gone
How I miss it
I know it's useless to think of you now
Memories are just memories, nothing more nothing less
But I want you to be more than a memory
More than a passing dream
I want you to be right here beside me
A moment to remember
Please grant my wish
That's all I ask
That's all I want
Only You Can Light The FlameI see you don't want to be hereOnly You Can Light The Flame6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
You're face says it all
Hidden behind your beautiful features
You're waiting for something
Entertaining drunken vegabonds
Paying you with a glimmer of gold
And dented silver
And still laying by the window
Waiting for someone
To take you away for here
Someone not wanting you
Wanting your heart
Not your body
Not the body forced to dance here
Not the hollowed body they own
Feel the breath of harmony
On your glistening skin
Closer to you
The sweet lies
Flames bring to her darkened state of being
Lighting the flame
Leaving your soul behind
Loving the burn
Stinging the surface
And breathing slowly as it takes you away
Stealing you from the stage
Only you can light the way
I can only take you to the treshold
Only you can light the flame
......and save you
YourselfClose your eyes.Yourself6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Take three steps forward.
Turn to the left.
Open your eyes.
Correct, a mirror.
Now look at yourself.
Deep down into yourself.
Think about the past, what you've done.
Think about the future, what you'll do.
Change what you dislike about yourself.
Change can be hard but rarely impossible,
Anything is possible when determined and patient.
Learn to love the things about yourself you cannot change.
Learning to love can be long, and that's where determination and patience comes in. Again.
Hate and love.I hate (love) the way your empty (bottomless)Hate and love.6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
ocean blue eyes bore into mine and see right
through me .
I hate (love) your despicable (charming)
crooked smile you make when I say something;
it's like you're laughing at me .
I hate (love) the way your corny (cute)
jokes make me laugh for hours even
though they are utterly ridiculous .
I hate (love) your shit (chocolate)
brown hair that flops everywhere in a
way that shows you don't care .
I hate (love) how you always annoyingly (sweetly)
ask if I'm okay and really seem to care .
I hate (love) the way you never (always)
know what to say to make me feel better .
I hate (love) the way your cold (warm)
embrace sends shivers up my spine and
makes me feel protected from the world .
I hate (love) you .
A Stranger's Wish for DeathI've been trying to pick up from where I left,A Stranger's Wish for Death6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
but everything just keeps falling again.
It's as if some point in life I lost my rhythm.
A rhythm to dance I never had,
but a rhythm to live was something different.
Yet, here I am.
Now the beat of life isn't enough.
And so I drop my pencil down, because
Because I've stopped writing the blank pages of my book of living,
and I lie here frozen in life, waiting, watching life move on.
The surroundings don't care.
even when we dare to stop.
It's true what someone once told me:
We may stop, but life moves on.
The Moon and IWhere are you?The Moon and I6 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I'm searching for you,
All alone, except for the blue
Full moon that hangs alone.
The moon and I,
We are alike.
We chase after light,
And never reach our goal.
She chases the sun
In endless circles.
I run and run,
But I can never reach you.
The moon and I,
Each wandering our ways,
We met one dark night,
To be lonely together.
We sat there silently,
And then her hand
Took mine gently,
And we went.
The moon and I,
We set out to sea.
I watched her dark eye
As it filled up with tears
Her salty tears
Filled the salty sea
As her years and years
Of grief tumbled out.
The sky saw her grief
And took pity on her,
So like a quiet thief
The sun stole behind her.
They found each other,
The moon and the sun,
And then parted, 'till another
Sweet day when they align.
But you and I, we
Are not like them.
When will we meet?
The moon and I,
We are not alike
She found her light,
I cry in the darkness.
WishesEvery silent scream we makeWishes6 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Every time our body aches
Every time we shed blood
Every time we fought for survival
Wishing we were never born
Every dirty look directed at us
Every time we didn't eat
Every time we slept on the street corner
Every time we considered ending it all
Wishing it all away
Every person who just ignored our pleas for help
Every time we wondered if life could have been different
Every time we feared for our lives
Every time we said 'It's not fair'
Wishing for a better life
No matter how many wishes we seem to make
They never come true