can't promise what you want.i think we can make this work.
i think we can too.
but you have to promise me something.
promise me youll never leave the hand soap empty. promise me that when you see the faucet accidently leaking on the counter, youll take a towel and mop it up instead of just shrugging and walking away. promise me you wont leave your jeans rumpled in the hall because they didnt make it all the way into the room.
i cant lie, i cant promise that. but i will promise to never leave your hands empty. i will promise that when your bad day has leaked all over your cheeks, ill take my lips and wipe it away. and i promise that ill never leave your feelings rumpled outside a locked bedroom door.
i can compromise with that.
and can you promise me something?
ill certainly try.
promise me you wont drag me into some
try to understand.so, i guess thats that.try to understand.6 years ago in Children and Teen More Like This
i guess it is.
i want you to know that im going to think about you. every night.
i imagine ill think about you too.
ill probably cry in my pillow when our song comes on my shuffle and ill dig up that picture i buried in the back of my closet when i threw away the rest.
why will you keep it?
because we look happy and somewhere down the road ill be happier for having kept it. not at first, because at first its going to sting like hell. which is why ill bury it. but in the middle of the night when i dont have the sun to shine in my eyes and distract me, ill need to look at it and remind myself that the tears are worth it.
i dont want to make you cry.
i know and thats part of the reason why theyll be worth it. you arent stealing them from me, im giving them freely. i wont
pretty words, dead flowers_ci want a boy that makes me weak in the elbows.pretty words, dead flowers_c6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i want him to drive a red camaro and put pens behind his ear because hes scared hell think of something he needs to say when theres no one around. i want him to never hesitate to hug me from behind or throw me over his shoulder and spin me until i swallow my spine. i want him to mess up my hair and pinch my cheek and then kiss me until my teeth are shaking and my nerves are smoking. i dont know where he is yet, but i know ill find him.
well, i won't make you weak in the elbows, but i can make you weak in your ribcage; i can tame the struggling butterflies and terminate your bloodflow. i don't have a car, but i'd rather take long walks with you across the vivace boardwalk, holding hands or locking lips. there's no pen behind my ears, but there's an eraser in my chest that can erase all your problems if you listen closely. i won't hug you when you cry; i'd save them for beating up the bastard who stole
i'll be your shooting star.You know how some people spend their entire lives waiting on someone?i'll be your shooting star.6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
Yeah, sure. I suppose.
I feel like Im there. When youre staring at the toaster waiting for it to pop, when youre glaring at the pot waiting for it to boil, when youre watching the sky waiting for the star to fall.
Who are you waiting on?
Im not sure to be honest. I dont know his name yet, but I know hes out there.
Whats he like?
Hell be tall because I want to be able to wear high-heels. Hell be smart because I dont want to dumb myself down when Im talking to him. Hell have a sense of humor so hell be able to laugh when I screw up. Hell probably be blonde because I read blondes are attracted to blondes. He wont be perfect but hell be perfect for me.
Sounds specific. Should we have try outs?
What? No. He isnt the
look, she's crying over him.five years ago--look, she's crying over him.6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
we were all elbows and sheltered self-esteems. we werent noticing each other except for bumping knees and walking into each other when walking around corners. we were nameless faces in the middle of the dance floor and hesitant hands touching. i was teaching you how to move gawky feet and a stiff spine, you were hitched-laughter fogging over my ear. we were wide eyes and gangly legs and fast music. we were bubble-gum-breath and coca-cola-fingers, breaking apart like nervous colts at the end of the song.
and all the parents said: look, how sweet, shes his first dance.
two years ago--
we were all chewed-on-lips and wrung-together fingers. we were orbiting alone until we crashed blindly together. we were reintroducing with shaking hands and getting swung onto the dance floor with free-falling-breath. you were taller, faster, taking my old moves and spicing them with your own. you were flipping me over your arm and i was hovering my mo
good thing we're fools.I think I might love you.good thing we're fools.6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
I think thats a stupid thing to say, why would you say something like that?
Because when you look at me my toes curl and my stomach flutters.
Is that a quote from a book?
No. I dont think so. I dont know. It all gets a little mixed up sometimes.
So you love me like they love in books.
Question or statement?
Question, then. And, yes. I love you like Scarlett loves Rhett, like Elizabeth loves Mr. Darcy, like-
Stop, just stop. Dont love me like that. What happens after the last page?
We continue on loving like happily-ever-forever.
No, wed drop off, we'd end. Love isnt static, it doesnt continue in a flat line. Who can carry the same tune for years? We rise, we fall, we bump arms and step on each others toes. Ill annoy you because I cant stand going to Chr
standing at the corner.dear mr. wrong,standing at the corner.6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
we are not oil and water, but were certainly not water and salt. we manage to live in a way that is completely detached, coming together to only ping slowly (pinging reluctantly; i will give you that) apart.
there was a time that i imagined kissing you would be the moment of aha in my life, that the scales on my eyes would shed and id see the true colors bleeding around me.
but it wasnt, was it?
it was dull, lips searching (searching desperately; ive never lied to you before, i promise to not start now) for something that just wasnt there. we started no fires, no music, no bright lights, no storms.
all we found was dull, hollow disappointment.
i imagine its not either one of our faults. we gave it the old college try, it just fell flat in the end.
i love you in a way that means i-wish-i-could-love-you more than i-love-you-with-all-i-have but love is love, right?
dear mr. right now,
we are pe
i trust you to know.if i could crack my ribs apart at the sternum, id let you dip your fingers beneath the bleached bones.i trust you to know.6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
there isnt anyone else id trust enough to not be impatient. there isnt anyone else id trust to not simply cut through the brittle, snarled vines encasing my heart. but i trust you. i trust you to see that the vines need to be unwound layer by layer. i trust you to see that to cut to the quick would only bleed me out. i trust you to know that i cant bear to stain the carpet yet again.
i trust you to see that the thorns are embedded deep, the insecurities tangled with the nervous laughs, that im biting my lip to keep it from trembling, that my palms are bird wings fluttering around my throat to keep the oxygen flowing.
i trust you to see.
and if i balk, if i run terrified back into the thicket, i trust you to follow me quietly, not burying a bullet in my flank, but luring me out with open hands and gentle eyes.
oh, because cant you see? i&
i'm sorry.i am sorry if i am not what you expected.i'm sorry.6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i am sorry if i am not slender or cunning or sticking to the schedule or falling into the precision of appointments and the rules of poetry. i am sorry if i am wringing my fingers dry and running out of paper and bleeding ink through my eyelids. i am sorry if i am butchering words and stitching their bleeding pieces into something i can lie and call beautiful. i am sorry that i cant stick to your grammar, your syntax, your expectations, your rules. i am sorry, i tried.
i cant help that i am running barefoot through the grocery store because i forgot my shoes or that i am driving through the fast food drive-through without buying a thing because it at least feels like im driving somewhere. i cant help that i am forgetting to bring you home your medication and sleeping with my back against the grass and tying your requests together to knit a scarf to choke myself with. i cant help it.
i wish i was different. i wish i
i think i might need you.stop.i think i might need you.6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i need you to put down the pencil and listen to me for a second. i need you to pause your breath and tune to my frequency. because im throwing my heart on the airwaves and i need you to be alive to hear it. i need you to follow my words even when theyre stumbling, tripping, falling on their face.
this is just going to take a second. i promise.
i think you should know that when i woke up today i was tangled in morning breath and your whispers. i think you should know that im dreaming with swollen lips and bleeding cheeks because i keep biting down to stop myself from saying whats on my mind. i think you should know my mouth is betraying me and when i brush it off, what i mean is, please, for the love of everything, know that i am terrified.
and, i think you should know, despite the fact that i am trembling with needs, i dont want it. i dont want to count down the seconds and drag out my day. i dont want to have to constantly dislodge my he
sinning tongues still confess.[one] i just hope that you know that you are beautiful.sinning tongues still confess.6 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
i hope when youre looking into the mirror and are
bemoaning pale cheeks and angled eyes that you know
these are the things that make you the most breathtaking.
and when the ones you trust turn their backs, realize that
they are the ones lacking: not you. i hope you know that
you are intelligent and compassionate and all together
lovely. you are every single thing that every single person
should aspire to be.
[two] i wish you knew how i would fold at the knees like
faded denim if you werent there to hold me up. i wish
i had the words to tell you that youre the one mirror i cant
stand to look at when my own lies are fogged back into my
lungs. youre my strength when im tired, youre my comfort
when im crying and swearing that im not enough, that ill
never be enough. you call me brave, but i know its only
because i managed to swallow and borrow your courage.
[three] we a
let's run away.lets get out of town. lets steal the neighbors truck and drive it into the ocean. lets melt along desert highways and freeze on mountain ranges. lets fill our lungs with saltwater and wring out our hearts in sundried wind.let's run away.6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
trust me, my bags are already packed. i need to sit in the passenger seat with my feet hanging out the window. i need to hold your hand and let the distance fade our problems like a school-yard-eraser. because in that truck cab, there cant be anything but us. there wont be room for our insecurities or mistakes or flaws or regrets. there will just be us.
and thatll be enough. well stop only to get gas and food when we have to. we wont look at a map because there wont be any way to write directions to happiness, well just have to find that on our own. and if it takes months, then at least well be trying, at least well be moving instead of rusting over, instead of turning black wit
gamble on me.hey boy,gamble on me.6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i think you should know that youre twisting my spine into knots and clogging up my arteries and the least you could do is give me a second of your time. i think you should give me a chance. you should know that you make my hands itch when you smile because i want to brush my thumb over your cheekbones. that my shoulders are trembling because i can imagine them resting against your chest, the idea of the warmth shotgunning straight to my nerves.
i think you should know youre making a relatively sane girl misplace her mind.
and i know youre so much more than youll ever imagine, that you are making me tangle words that once lived tucked safely in my pocket. that my fists are clenched against my legs and my mind is unwound around my skull and youre just tipping jaunty lips without a thought.
you see, ive been bottling this feeling but carbonation is beginning to shove against the cap. and i can feel it fizzing down the sides, leaking out my fing
hearts are for rebuilding_ci.hearts are for rebuilding_c6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
when i remember you, i remember the way you laughed when i mixed up teaspoons and tablespoons.
i remember the way you refused to eat the cake because you said it was too salty and the way i stood crying over the sink when i shoved it down the disposal. i remember how you left me standing in the middle of the floured, sugared, baked-on-mess kitchen to finish the tivo-game, patting me on the back and saying nice try.
it was when i was wiping my tears with the back of my hand that i best remember holding my heart close, telling it nice try. maybe next time wed fall in love with someone who saw us when they looked, who cared about stomping all over the most vulnerable of spots.
when i remember you, i remember crashing out of love.
i know it was bittersweet, but i cant remember anything but the burn.
and now i am thinking maybe the cake was too salty. maybe my hands shook when i was making it because you were standing behind me, your laureate finge
we set the ship on fire.Youre crazy.we set the ship on fire.6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
Most likely. Is that a problem?
I dont know yet. It depends what kind of crazy you are.
You havent figured that out yet?
Im still working on it. Want to give me a few hints?
No, not particularly.
Alright, duly noted: bitch-crazy isnt out of the running yet.
Arent you clever? I think bitch-crazy should be leading the pack.
Its fighting gypsy-crazy for the lead.
Yeah. The kind of crazy that keeps your feet moving even when youre sitting down. The crazy that explains why when I look in your eyes I dont see lakes, but wild oceans. The kind that would explain why youre ten miles ahead of everyone else with no intentions of slowing down.
Its because Im running away half the time.
Away from what? Me?
Maybe. From feeding someone my heart
you're not prince charming.Do you remember the first time we met?you're not prince charming.6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
Sure thing, it was that barbeque a few summers back. I was wearing jeans and you were wearing a stained skirt. Youd tripped over your shoelaces that youd forgotten to tie and knocked over the ketchup. How could I forget that graceful creature?
I remember that you were wearing a cornflower-blue shirt that matched your eyes and I only tripped because youd smiled at me. I still have that skirt somewhere. And I remember that you danced with your five-year-old cousin because shed asked. Ive never seen anything sweeter in my life.
I remember that, my back still hurts from bending down.
It was adorable. And then you came over and asked my name. Why?
You were standing in front of the steak. I came for the meat, you were just a bonus.
Always a romantic.
Im a walking Hallmark card.
But you still asked me to dance.
when i say it isn't personal.and if its cold in the middle of the night, you can trust me to burn the building down.when i say it isn't personal.6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
if the walls are too tall and the secrets too thick. if you cant breathe past the black souls twisted around ash-lungs then follow me. trust me to start a riot. because we are more than they can handle, because we are smoldering indecently, we are young and heroic and flawed and angry. because we are bleeding hands tearing down doors, we are throwing fists against impassive chests.
we are feeling too much while they arent feeling enough.
and you better believe me: were going to revolt.
and if they try to stop us, we will hurdle their pathetic attempts at blockades. if they try to put us in a box, well stick dynamite in their teeth and blow off the fucking roof. because we are unstoppable, untameable, uncontrollable. we are wildfires and tsunamis and twisters ripping through small town america.
we are clawing down cliff walls and demolishing forests. we are the re
consider this just one more.i need you to stop needing me.consider this just one more.6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
you don't know, but you're living a lie. you're closing your eyes and pretending i'm something i'm not. you're pretending i'm lovely and stable and precious. you're pretending i'm returning this kiss.
you're breathing down my neck and twisting my hair between your fingers, saying we could be something beautiful if i would just slow down. you're swearing we could be a sundust and milky way love story if i would just stop running away all the time.
you're calling me baby, you're calling me darling, you're trying to hold my hand and ignoring the fact that i'm shaking with anxiety. your salty lips keep misfiring and landing on my jaw, your greedy fingers keep tearing my coattails apart.
can't you see? i'm a mistake that you're trying to rearrange into something lyrical, a disaster that you're trying to pretend is miraculous. when really i'm anything but.
in reality i'm knocking down vases and ripping the mona lisa in half, i'm tripping down the stairs and cra
we weren't broken.michael,we weren't broken.6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
we were innocent first kisses and dancing in the fireflies in the middle of the night. we were hushed calls when the rest of the world was sleeping and holding hands under the table when we thought no one was looking. we were piggy back rides and laying in the grass in the middle of the night counting the stars. we were beautiful. naïve, but beautiful.
and we ended in tears and broken glass roses you had snuck into my carry-on luggage. we ended with cut-off phone lines and i-never-want-to-speak-to-you-again. we ended with not broken hearts, but with our hearts first scar. i never told you then, but ill tell you now:
thank you for teaching me loves simple beauty.
thank you for preparing me for what was to come.
we were friendship blossoming in the heat of sunlight. we were sunflowers following the beauty across the track of day, sweet text messages and hesitant kisses broaching the lines we had carefully drawn. we were pushing fear aside and jumpi
if you keep getting under.i saw you today and said heyif you keep getting under.6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
but what i meant was:
holyhell, youre beautiful. you look like sunshine trapped in mason jars and fireflies stuck in moonbeams. you have a smile that punches straight to the spinal cord, did you know that? i just spent the last five seconds rebooting my heart, training my lungs how to breathe again. exhale, inhale. it should be simple but youve snarled it all in a giant mess. im unwinding the ball of yarn into a straight jacket and youre as unaffected as the sea. id say im a boat but im hardly as sturdy. im a feather. its almost funny how little a chance i have of staying afloat. im soaked and matted and sinking into the undertow. and youre just churning on and on and on.
i saw you today and said how have you been?
but what i meant was:
have you lost as much sleep as i have? ive spent 3256 hours trying to piece together the exact curves that m
late this october night.right now:late this october night.6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
the train is bulleting ten times faster than recommended down the tracks. sparks are cascading as the metal punches sporadic screams through the air. inside the cabin there are taut fingers clawing at the sides of the seats, praying lips asking for salvation as oxygen is whipped from the passengers gaping lungs. a mother is pressing chapped lips to her sons tan forehead, a husband is folding his wifes leathery hand in his for the last time. all chests are expanded and compressed against the back of the seats, hearts imploding as the track dissolves under grinding wheels.
the train rolls on, the screams roll on, the fire rolls on.
death runs rampant late this october night.
the plane is nose-diving through the starless fog. one little girls limp head is leaning against her fathers tense arm, his lips reciting a prayer long ago forgotten. the cabin is silent except for the steady sound of breathing, the sound of cotton on cotton as legs
the fear of falling.i'm living my life with fear bubbling up my throat.the fear of falling.6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
i'm guarding my heart with iron lace and gritted teeth because even the prospect of getting burned is enough to leave me on the porch. i'm trembling like autumn leaves, my spine cracking like an age-worn book, eroding at a hundred words a minute into a pile of rubble that is getting lost in the wind. i'm putting my toe in the water and easing around the edge, keeping my back to the wall and running like hell when i reach the exit.
because i'm pavlov's dog and when that bell strikes, i'm already diving for cover. because your eyes look like an earthquake and i only know one surefire way to avoid falling down the fault line. i can't get hurt if i never play the game, i can't get scarred if i never approach the flame. i'm tasting the arsenic with the tip of my tongue but i'm not able to brave downing the entire bottle. because i've been down this road before and left bloody footprints on my staggering way home. i've been at this cross po
instead of breathing.it's a quarter to three and twenty minutes past any hope for sleep tonight.instead of breathing.6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
instead, i am singing to the walls and pulling the stars in to light up the corners in my room. instead, i am writing your name in cursive and whispering secrets in gaelic and pinning my heart to the ceiling because it reminds me that life is beautiful. instead, i am making lists of things i want to tell you, lists of a hundred and two different ways to breathe that still leave me breathless whenever you're around.
instead, i am thinking of things like:
how when you talk, you mold the air between your hands like you're painting a picture that only i can see. how when you listen, you go completely and absolutely still. how ice-blue eyes cut through whatever inhibitions hold me back. how lips curve in a way that beckon me out of hiding to wherever it is you are. how you can seamlessly switch the conversation from a discussion of the black-and-white greats to cowboy brawls. how calloused, scarred fingers can drum
we are a sunrise.we are no more than a softly whispered if.we are a sunrise.6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
we are smoke rings in the dark, soap bubbles on the lip of the water. we are bright eyes and shy fingers touching through the veil of introductions. we are racing side by side down separate book aisles, not calling out to one another but comforted in the echo of each others' pulse. we are strangers who aren't strange to one another at all, promises scrawled in folded pieces of paper, slipped under door cracks in the middle of the night.
possibilities are glowing iridescent between us, eyes overbright as we dance circles around one another. we're shoved into rooms filtered with sundust, lips praying as palms, fingers caught into oil-dark curls and tracing faintly dimpled cheeks. futures are unwound on the spin of a syllable, one second breaking everything we thought we knew about how our lives would go.
whole existences are leaping forward from the shadows with the power of a freight train, knocking out everything we've ever known to be
love fell upside downbreathe; just breathe.love fell upside down6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
he is just a boy made of cells and nerves wrapped around normal bone. he is standing there on two feet with two legs and pants hugging a waist made of flesh and blood. he is human. his nose is a little crooked and his teeth not perfectly straight. one could even say he is a flawed human.
look; look there.
his eyebrows arch out in odd angles, like bird wings taking flight off of his face. and that scar that runs down his jaw? certainly that, dear, certainly that makes him flawed.
look, his eyes are blue but not the blue of the ocean deep or the sky before the storm. they are just blue. no one could look in those eyes and get lost for hours as you say you have. they would be too busy wondering about whats for dinner or an appointment they forgot to schedule or why they are standing there staring into this boys eyes. there is nothing there after all, just blue lakes, dirty ponds.
oh, and see? he misspelled a word, he lost his place where he was reading,