Damn Hogwarts Rules~~~ Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts ~~~Damn Hogwarts Rules7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
1. Any resemblence between Dementors and Bin Laden is coincidental.
2. It is a bad idea to slip Professor Snape a powerful love potion.
3. Growing marijuana or cannabis plants is not an extra credit project for Herbology.
4. I should refrain from putting on Death Eater robes, a Death Eater mask and suchlike and go up to Professor Snape, and say, "Dude! Voldemort wants to kill you, he's found out!"
5. I am not allowed to lock Gryffindors and Slytherins in the Room of Requirement and see who comes out alive and who looks like theyve had a right shag.
6. Professor Flitwick's first name is NOT Dobby, no matter how short he is!
7. "OMFG!" is not a spell.
8. I will not refer to Professor McGonagall as 'My Goggly Goo-Goo!" or "McGonalds! McGonalds!"
9. I will not arrange an Aurors meeting in Malfoy Manor OR Nettos!
10. I will not begin Care of Magical Creatures class by singing, 'Can you dance the hippogriff' by the Hobgoblins in a bold voice,
Survive- Chapter 1Kat crouched down, watching as one of the infected humans took a bite out of another staff member. The woman screamed, trying to beat the zombie off, but the noise brought more Green Flu victims towards her. It reminded the hiding teen of a cook ringing a bell yelling, 'Come and get it!'Survive- Chapter 14 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
As the sound of ripping flesh filled the air as the infected dug into their meal, Kat dashed to the other side of the practically empty Wal-mart in a half crouch. She had removed her hightops as a safety precaution, for, as the last underpaid staff member had displayed, the infected were attracted to noise.
The sports, camping, and firearms areas were empty, much to the brown haired girl's relief. Going to the camping isle with her backpack open, she quickly took several freeze dried meals, a survival and first aid kit in a can, magnesium fire starter, two lighters, and a box of food bars.
"Everyone laughed at me when I said that I would go to Wal-Mart when the apocalypse happened, but guess who's aliv
Raptor Jesus' Bible.In the Beginning, God created the heavens and the Earth. And we all know the story from there.Raptor Jesus' Bible.6 years ago in Humor More Like This
In the Period of Cretaceous, God grew distasteful of the Dinosaurs' wicked ways. (Actually, after a few billion years He was royally Bored and wanted to screw with the most intelligent life-forms available at the time.) So he descended unto a Virgin Raptor and made her lay a single egg.
This was long before anyone ever figured out the connection between mating and babies, so no one really gave a damn.
God commanded the virgin raptor to name her son Jesus. And so she did.
Jesus hatched, and his hatching was marked by a volcano erupting and wiping out the nests of nearly all other raptors. When He realized this, he promptly ran away and wandered in the desert, living a raptory life for 18 years, until he turned 32.
Raptor Jesus returned, gathering Thirteen followers of all species, and they wandered around doing stuff, fighting evil, and saving Prostisaurs. (That's their story and their stickin
Encyclopedia NoobtanicaNoob as defined in the Spooksters Dictionary: Noun; "a rude/crude/rascist/stupid/and probably illiterate asshole/bitch/bastard/SOB/cunt/fucktard/dumbassed piece of shit."Encyclopedia Noobtanica8 years ago in Humor More Like This
Following are eighteen different varieties of noobs.
1. THE BAD GRAMMAR NOOB
Probable age: Any.
Probable sex: Either.
Fucktardedness: Low to high.
Info: Easily the most common type of noob, these people appear unnable or unwilling to submit to the rule of grammar, spelling, or punctuation. You may spend several moments trying to decipher whatever the hell it is that the person actually said. An example: "im in ur bas kilin ur dudz."
2. THE SQUEEKER
Genre: Any genre with voice support.
Probable age: 8-13
Probable sex: Male.
Info: Imagine the most high-pitched child you can. Now imagine that child shrieking vulgarities and vague threats and insults at you over the headset. Where the fuck are this kids parents?
3. "IT'S THE LAG, I SWEAR!" NOOB
December Waters poemDecember Waters poem7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Cutting through a thickening fog
a dreary day of yesteryear
I squelched across the shallow bog
in hopes for guidelights to appear
A light I saw, not from a lantern
Ghostly shadows played across
the smokey whispers floating like phantoms
from under the mulshy water's moss
And from the under, sleething forward,
a nebulous shape with empty eyes
Cold fish fingers pulling my breath toward
itself, turning me to stone inside
something's rising, something's sinking
pale darkness, neverblinking
Addicted to Halo when...You know you're addicted to Halo/Halo 2 when…Addicted to Halo when...8 years ago in Humor More Like This
1. Never argue or infuriate your designated driver; they'll get mad and run you over.
2. In cases of sword-wielding zealots, your best option is to RUN.
3. Beware the ides of Tartarus.
4. Plasma grenades don't bounce no matter how hard you try.
5. Always clear pillars before throwing a plasma grenade.
6. Never land near the edge of a platform and then get out if there's nothing behind you to land on.
7. Guardians are not forgiving nor are they biased.
8. Elites are mean to anyone, including their allies, meaning melees hurt anyone nearby.
9. Cortana is in perpetual PMS.
10. Never mess with the Chief. Ever. It's a death wish.
11. Being a Halo 2 fan girl is a simple way of stating… "OMFG, I WANNA SHAG THE MASTER CHIEF!"
12. Cortana is lucky; she gets to inhabit kick ass armor. (Not to mention get friendly with UNSC-grade parts –cough-)
13. Once a player wielding a plasma sword is spotted, proceed with the following – piss pants, scream, and
Just FriendsI sit in my roomJust Friends3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
of your amazing smile,
the way your eyes shine
of how absolutley
Of how easy
talking to you is.
You make me glow.
Only with you am I happy.
Would it be a stretch
to say I love you?
But then I remember
you'll never be mine.
I can't stand the thought
It makes my heart cringe.
You're so amazing.
Misery Is My MistressSo much for divine Intervention.Misery Is My Mistress6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
So Much for love and affection.
My heart is missing in action,
But how can it's beating still happen?
Love soothes the soul,
but to much pain comes of it, it makes me want my brains to blow.
Out of my head, and onto the wall,
where the janitor will clean it away at the commanders first call.
My mind is in soul despair,
My heart is gone, and i don't know where...
Life goes on, but the pain does not subside,
My chest is a hollow cavity where despair resides.
I've given up on love, at least for time being.
Till I know for sure it wont rot away and leave me wanting to dangle by a string.
I feel so empty inside, as if my heart was ripped from the inside or my rib cage.
Leaving me cold and numb, devoid of all happiness sorrow and rage.
Instead leaving me a haunting detachment from the living,
Trying to forget the memories that only bring pain, giving you the cure i need,
Pull the trigger, give me salvation.
You will have my eternal and undying Grat
Limerick- Welcome To HellThere once was a man who was dead.Limerick- Welcome To Hell5 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
He came to a spirit who said:
Welcome to Hell!
And sent him to heaven instead.
DreamcatcherMen. Men with guns. Why not? Two of them, two men, and in keeping with my usual themes they'll be brothers. The older of the two, that's Jack—and while we're on the subject, the younger one's Lawrence. God, just looking at them, you're reminded—they're the kind of people who can remind you—of what the difference is between the merely good-looking and the truly beautiful, between those of us who are fine to look at and those of us who are fine the same way a masterpiece is fine. These two men, our brothers, are really and truly handsome, so handsome it's almost painful sometimes to look at them.Dreamcatcher9 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
You see them out of the corner of your eye in the supermarket, buying supermarket brand laundry detergent, the cheap shampoo, deodorant, two or three litre bottles of soda and instant coffee and all of a sudden you get the Feeling. You're jealous. You want to be like them; they're special. That's the power of the honestly handsome, like some kind of magic. You want to know who they are—who are t
Mad WorldDesperation.Mad World6 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
A sick feeling sweat
Fills my brow.
My heart races.
But why do I carry out with warily expressions?
These streets. I'm familiar with them.
I have been graced by their direction all my life.
Eccentric. This feeling of paranoia.
The idea of beasts are all I see in human's skin.
Constantly shaking it off my shoulder,
Ready it comes to sit back down; my fear.
A maddening feeling,
The hands, I feel their grip tighten on the back,
Of my neck!
What is happening? what. is. going on.?
My eyes opened to see their vicious grins,
Malicious ideas gained through insanities reign.
The flesh burning sting of acid rain...
pollution runs through the air, as it runs deep in their mind
Idealism has ruined individuality. Surrounded. I am surrounded,
By desperate clones. I am alone. I am alone.
I. am. alone.
Love has left this world.
Madness has returned.
Filled those hearts with anger.
Money is all they have in their wallets
Greed has returned.
Rapture has die
Player versus PlayerPlayer versus Player:Player versus Player2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Elemental artisttry, as lightning weaves through the air.
I see the bloodthirst in his eyes, the hunger for victory.
A demand to be recognised, yet soon to be silenced;
Perfect and perfunctory - my opponent made defunct...
As I stand above this dying creature;
The flicker of life soon fading from their eyes.
I smile and whisper a word of parting,
For the fool who fell where he lies.
-Unfinished piece by Chen Yuan Wen, 10th April 2012
Jingle Bells-- Halo 3 StyleRiding on a 'hogJingle Bells-- Halo 3 Style4 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Plowing through the fray
O'er hills we go
Fragging all the way
Needles 'round us ping
Making our shields bright
What fun it is to shoot and sing
Our slaying song tonight!
Jingle bells, Prophet smells
Jackal laid an egg
Hunter got annoyed at him
And tore off his leg
Jingle bells, shot gun shells
Hope it never ends
Oh what fun it is to fight
And kill all of your friends!
A day or two ago
I thought I'd take a ride
And soon the Arbiter
Was seated by my side
The Warthog it was jacked
And then we both got shot
We plowed into a mass of Grunts
And then we got upsot!
Oh, jingle bells, Johnson yells
Throw all your grenades
Flood is gonna kill us all
In many gruesome ways
Jingle bells, though I fell
I'll respawn again
Oh what fun it is to fight
And kill all of your friends!
Big Girls of Skyrim 2In the Sleeping Giant Inn of Riverwood...Big Girls of Skyrim 22 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Delphine had finally received her call to arms. So many years after the Blades disbanded, when the White-Gold Concordot first came into place, it was finally time for her to pick up her blade again and charge into the battlefield. With the return of Alduin and the revival of the Dragons, all of Skyrim was in great danger. The Dovahkiin may have taken care of the Dragons' leader, but they still existed in Skyrim, ever present in the skies above. Delphine had been working as a innkeeper in Riverwood for years, and while she had grown to appreciate her quiet life, she knew she would never forgive herself if she just stood by as the fire-spewing monsters raged across her beloved land. It was a Blade's duty to battle the winged beasts, after all.
Delphine turned to her lone employee and said, "Orgnar, I want you to watch the inn for me for a while."
"You going out somewhere?"
"Alright, then. Be careful."
Delphine entered the only
Tick, TockTo be honest, from the first day we met I knew you were going to be important to me. I don't usually get struck by people the way you struck me. Now it's more like the way you make me tick and I'm sitting here wondering if you even look at the clock. Tick, tock, tick, tock. That's the sound of seconds thrumming by alongside my heartbeats. I can't help but think that I might love you and how ridiculous a thought to have. How am I supposed to know this when I don't even trust myself? I'm second-guessing, under-estimating, and over-thinking. I just get lost in the way your touch takes control, causing me to lose any capacity to think, at least rationally. It's like the whole world vanishes and I'm sinking into your skin like sand. You take me away from anything real and that thrills me because I'm foolish and it scares me because it does. My common sense has dissapeared in your arms and my worry in your smile. That's why it pains me to be this patient and I don't know if it will ever be wTick, Tock2 years ago in Emotional More Like This
Falling, flying, failing.When my dad was young, he raised monarch butterflies. One time, one hatched and its hind wings never expanded fully. He removed part of the wings and glued on wings of a tiger swallowtail to help it fly.Falling, flying, failing.5 years ago in Emotional More Like This
The monarch did fly away a little haphazardly. But it could still fly.
Sometimes I wonder if not being able to fly is genetic. Like being able to curl your tongue or having green eyes or depression.
People can be addicted to alcohol or drugs or nicotine.
Others are sometimes addicted to sadness and all of the above.
When I was younger, I'd take newly-hatched monarchs I had raised and throw them into the air. I was disappointed when they didn't fly right away and just fell to the ground.
Dad explained that it takes some time for their wings to expand and dry fully before they're ready to fly.
It's the same with people. Sometimes their wings take a long time to grow. Sometimes they don't grow at all, and people fall right away.
People out there spend their
Meeting UpYou: so...Meeting Up8 months ago in Short Stories More Like This
You: I was thinking
You: maybe we could y'know
You: meet up in person, soon
Your heart pounds as the 'Sean is typing...' message in the chat box appears and lingered for what felt like an eternity.
Sean: I'd thought you'd never ask. How about we get some dinner tomorrow?
Tomorrow! Such short notice, but you've been chatting with this guy for months now. Things have been going so well, you'd do anything to see him.
You: sure! I'd really love to
You: just name the time and place and I'll be there
Your words project confidence, but behind the keyboard your fingers tremble. It's been a long time since you've felt a connection this strong with someone. So many nights chatting into the wee hours of the morning, so many discovered common interests. He could really be the one, as cheesy as that sounds.
Sean: Alright, I know a great steakhouse down on State. Meet me there at like 6?
You: sounds per
Hate and love.I hate (love) the way your empty (bottomless)Hate and love.5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
ocean blue eyes bore into mine and see right
through me .
I hate (love) your despicable (charming)
crooked smile you make when I say something;
it's like you're laughing at me .
I hate (love) the way your corny (cute)
jokes make me laugh for hours even
though they are utterly ridiculous .
I hate (love) your shit (chocolate)
brown hair that flops everywhere in a
way that shows you don't care .
I hate (love) how you always annoyingly (sweetly)
ask if I'm okay and really seem to care .
I hate (love) the way you never (always)
know what to say to make me feel better .
I hate (love) the way your cold (warm)
embrace sends shivers up my spine and
makes me feel protected from the world .
I hate (love) you .
MyiagrosYou went quietlyMyiagros2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Like granite with finesse
Days and nights
The come down monster
I had a drink
Six, seven, eight more
Always and sometimes
The weeks of illness
Before it pulled your eyes shut
No small talk
Just plain, empty time
I walked to the store for smokes
Struggled not to howl
There was fly paper nailed to the register
Legs still moving
And I knew what they were buzzing for
Hell had found you first