i hate myselfthe rain is pouring and lighting flashes across the sky - illuminating my seemingly dead backyard for split seconds at a time. the fine film of water that covers my exposed skin and the vicious wind give birth to the goosebumps that form across the planes of my skin, and it feels like winter again.i hate myself4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
strange how the world seems only to want to remind me of you, of the nights we spent together.
even stranger, how it is only the roaring storms and shivering hands that remind me of you.
i have spent months telling myself there is something beyond this town, that somewhere in the world there is a place for me, without you. but now, i realise that i don't want that.
i realise it's only the pills that supress my real emotion, only the drugs that enduce the placebo of happiness.
im scared of what im becoming - scared that without you, i really am nothing.
because that's exactly how i feel - meaningless. i move through these days without a purpose, without a target, a goal, an end-point. it's di
Strangers 2 - N.Je suis cette fille.Strangers 2 - N.5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Celle que tu vas croiser une fois dans la rue et qui te hantera pour le reste de ta vie.
Je sais que je suis cette fille, je le vois dans le regard des gens que je frôle. Ils écarquillent les yeux en m'apercevant, s'imaginent ma vie, fantasment sur l'image que je renvoie.
Je suis cette fille, qui marche sous le déluge sans parapluie.
Mes longs cheveux blonds ruisselant d'eau et me collant au visage, la pluie dégoulinant sur ma veste rouge, les gouttes finissant par s'écraser sur le trottoir gris.
Et pendant une seconde tu envies ces gouttes, car elles me rendent magnifique.
Mes talons claquent sur le ciment, faisant voler des gerbes d'eau. Et je marche comme une reine.
Non, comme une princesse. C'est pour ça que tu me regardes, tu as envie de me sauver. De m'abriter sous ton parapluie, de m'offrir un café et de me demander pourquoi je pleure.
Mais tu ne le fais pas, personne ne le fait jamais.
Je continue de marcher sous la pluie,
geneticism"i hate when you tell me you love me."geneticism4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
"i love you."
"do you love her?"
"that old bag making sounds like a death rattle?"
"can't you just accept that i love you and move on?"
"not unless you tell me why you can't love her, too."
"because i love you, you're special to me."
"she should be special to you, too."
"i don't know her. she's nothing to me."
"she should be everything to you."
"why? how can i love her?"
"look. how can we love some people but not others? how can you love me but not the old woman sitting next to you on the city bus, breathing like city smoke and wringing her hands? i wring my hands, too."
"you're not like her. you're not like anyone else."
"you're making yourself look stupid. i'm the exact same as everyone else. we're all so similar. i mean, we're ninety-nine percent the same as any given person on this planet on a genetic level. we're all combinations of the same handful of characteristics, inside and out. you shouldn't lov
A moment in time, chap.1A moment in time, chap.16 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
Elian. His name was Elian and he was beautiful. I took him because he was beautiful and when he first told me his name, it sounded like music. Elian. Just try and say it, try and taste it as it flows down your tongue like ice, melting. Ice becomes water, water turns into steam that rises into the heavens and there it is gone.
So is he. Elian. I tell myself that I set him free but I know that I killed him.
I only meant to have him, never love him. There is no such word in my language. We possess others, we take and have them, cast them aside when we no longer desire, but we do not love. Love is his word and once he asked me if I do and I told him that it was nonsense, that I knew no such emotion.
It was both lie and truth. I did not know the word or the meaning of it, not before I saw my Elian, desired him and took him, had him but I never cast him aside.
But let me tell you how this came to be, so that you might learn from it and never take up such a foolish course in lif
Little SweetheartYou call me yourLittle Sweetheart4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
When we're alone.
Never where anyone
might hear you.
I almost expect you
to look from left to right.
Making sure no one
Are you ashamed of me?
Is that what it is?
My love is not good enough?
I give you all my time,
and you hide me away.
Even a doll gets shown off,
every now and again,
but not me.
We're alone now,
no one is around
to hear you call me
your little sweetheart.
His ScentShe imagined the smell of him -His Scent6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
bergamot and lime
and something unfamiliar,
and his slow walk
through her soul
like the end of the world
and how his weight
would be inescapable
and alive with summer.
She imagined his touch,
warm water in the bath
and the rich twist of silk
and how she knew
he would taste
just like that first time
when the streets crawled home
and dawn broke
in slow thunder.
DA2 - Little WolfDA2 - Little Wolf4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Title: Little Wolf
Game: Dragon Age 2
Characters: Remy Hawke (PC), Fenris, Zevran Arainai, Aveline, Anders
Disclaimer: Dragon Age 2 and all things related belong to Bioware.
Author's Note: SPOILERS AHEAD. If you have not romanced Fenris, then there may be spoilers here. You have been warned.
In the caverns of Sundermount he stood, overlooking his companions looting the corpses of the recently fallen lyrium smugglers who had the unfortunate fate of an unprovoked attack. The Champion of Kirkwall, Remy Hawke, knelt alongside her friend, Aveline, comparing and contrasting a pair of gauntlets they had found on one of the fallen. Nearby, the apostate Anders gathered the coins off the corpses, filling a purple velvet pouch full with each drop having a satisfying sound of clink. The assassin they were escorting, Zevran, was disarming the traps he had laid out for those chasing him, possibly saving them for his next encounter with the Crows. Fenris, himse
They Say They Don't SmileThey Say They Don't SmileThey Say They Don't Smile5 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Newborns don't smile...
it's "just gas" they say.
But, they didn't see my daughter's
face that special day.
I arrived at the nursery
all swelled with pride.
I knew that my daughter
was waiting inside.
The Nurse brought her to me
all bundled up tight
she was born the day prior
and she was all right.
I looked down at her,
and she looked up at me.
A pretty girls eyes
I'm sure recognized me.
With Joy all around us
she looked up at me
and my daughters smile
was welcoming me.
Copyright 1997, TThealer
deviantART ListensDeviantART listens on a constant consistent basis. For starters, Premium Members have the option of becoming "Official Beta Testers". These OBTs have the opportunity to test unreleased site modifications and give feedback directly to dA's staff members. If that in and of itself doesn't prove that dA not only listens but is actually GEARED to listening to its members, then maybe some more facts will.deviantART Listens5 years ago in Editorial More Like This
In the most recent example of the power of the OBTs, version 7 of the site layout has been pre-released to the OBTs. Many of them found exception to the lack of customisable buttons in the top menus. A couple of days later, the deviantART logo drop-down menu had customisable buttons for quicker access to different parts of the website. What the OBTs said directly affected the site's appearance and features.
Also during the Beta Testing of v7, the OBTs pointed out the lack of an arrow next to the deviantART logo drop-down menu and the fact that invisible reply buttons might be difficult for
I knowI know how it feels to cry.I know6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I know how it feels to be sad.
I know how it feels to lose the
one you Love the most. I know
how it hurts.
Pain, pain..."Pain, pain.. keep me alive."Pain, pain...6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
"Pain is loss,
pain is sacrifice.
Pain is confusion,
pain is hate.
Pain, pain.. please leave.
Pain is hopelessness,
pain is fear.
Pain is despair,
pain is love.
Pain, pain.. be my friend.
Pain is the losing of a friend,
pain is loneliness.
Pain is hunger,
pain is responsibility.
Pain, pain.. keep me alive.
Pain is being unseen, even by those you love.
Pain is saying 'goodbye',
but never really leaving as you watch the other person walk away.
Pain, pain.. ...let me die..."
A time line of pain, and yet it goes on.
Preludio di un addioQuando me ne andròPreludio di un addio3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
porterò dentro di me
le persone e
le cose più belle e tu
non potrai davvero
non essere tra quelle.
Ma non tra quelle
che ho nella testa,
si può dimenticare, ma
tra quelle che il loro posto
lo han trovato nel mio cuore.
Tra quelle che sorridono,
che trasmettono allegria.
Tra quelle che all'anima
che non c'è bisogno
di averle per forza vicino,
che sanno essere forti, ma
che hanno il cuore
di un bambino.
che hanno parole di conforto, ma
anche di ascoltare.
che non ti giudicano e
non ti vogliono neanche
AffirmationI amAffirmation4 years ago in Emotional More Like This
the water poured out
the paper crumpled up
the stone tossed aside
the seedling trampled underfoot
deemed not worthy
but I am
I will seep into the cracks, expand and swell
I will still show works, speak and announce
I will polish and shine
and I will sprout
and grow, blooming beautifully
and my thorns
shall be in your side
I'm So Fucked UpIm not really sure what im doing anymore, im starting to change shape and form for the worst and ugly.I'm So Fucked Up6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
My mind has a mind of it's own, it's getting obsessive, addicted and angry.
I try to let it go, to let YOU go, but this is no breach of peace, it's a fucking war.
Im trying to keep a stable mind
But im getting obsessed
Im doing things to distract myself
Without a face without a heartWithout a face without a heartWithout a face without a heart8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I want to give you warning of the coldness
which gets our world
and in which so very much turn rigid.
People who live lonely
between people like in a desert.
Like ants in malls and on streets
in busses and trains
in block of flats and skyscrapers.
People without a face without a heart.
Mighty, would-be important people
holding court in conferences
in luxury palaces out of glass and concrete.
I can see them sitting there
in heavy armchairs
deadly serious in endless negotiations
talking about real and futile problems.
growing like giant mushrooms
cabinets go overflow
bureaus get full
the world gets covered by a fog
out of paper, data, policies and regulations
until she gets totally dark.
Where to go with such a world?
We are well and truly addicted to each other.
Addicted to food
to clothes, to dwelling
traffic and recreation.
Addicted to all
what we can get through payment
We are well and truly addicted to each other.
Even more for
Do I Fear Death?As a child, I was always fascinated with the afterlife. I had made a point of visiting all of the haunted castles of my native land. Especially one. It was tall and gothic, filled with wondrous secret passageways. An elderly scholar had lived there. Oh, the stories he told me! Adventurous, terrifying, funny, inspiring, romantic...Do I Fear Death?6 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
I came to really love that man. But he was old, and so from the beginning I knew our time together was short. He told me of his expectations of the afterlife, including how he once heard that when you die, your life flashes before your eyes.
Now, as ferrier of souls to the afterlife, I am well aware that that is not true. You do not see your entire life flash before your eyes; there simply wouldn't be enough time. You instead see what you loved most in this world, what you would miss the most. Maccus had told me that when he died, he saw all the good times he had with his sister flash through his memory. I began to wonder, what would I see?
Or would I see any