Starving for PerfectionDon't touch the food
if you want to be thin.
She starves for perfection,
Because thin is always in.
Her bones are so sore,
Her muscles ache,
But she'll do it,
If that's what it'll take.
The mirror's never wrong,
and the scale never lies,
She'll do what it takes,
To get that perfect size.
D I S I L L U S I O N E DToday I stood in the rain of bleary dreams,D I S I L L U S I O N E D5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Tearing loose strands and seams from my jeans
Sending them down times stream,
Then I suddenly understood what you mean
When you said nothing in reality is what it seems,
Everything ends, everything dies
Even when you said the sky
Had no limits, you lied
The sun had never set for me
The Perfectionisit's DisorderDeny the urge, girl,The Perfectionisit's Disorder5 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Beat it back.
You don't need those calories.
Pick up the slack.
No, you're not hungry,
You stupid cow
You're just so fat!
Fix it now!
A few more laps,
Skip another meal.
We'll reach our dream, girl.
We'll make it real.
No, you're not tired,
You don't feel weak,
You'll be perfect soon,
No need to eat.
It doesn't matter
If they say you're thin.
They're all just liars.
(A few more pounds till we win)
Sure, the scale's dropped down,
But not nearly enough.
You better try harder,
You better get tough.
They all say they're worried,
That I'm all bones and skin.
They all must be blind then,
Can't they see I'm not thin?
Oh, how I wish I could stop it!
To this obsession I'm bound.
I won't stop till I'm perfect.
Just a few more sweet pounds.
there will always be the sun.Another memory of my adolescence,there will always be the sun.5 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
where I spent my summers,
it is dying and fading away as skyscrapers
and yellow and black tape constrained
The rose garden which used to be my home,
watching from space the Earth is
lonely and dry, with only glass buildings
and metal birds, and plastic flowers
You can walk up to a child, enquire,
whom is it that you envy and admire?
She will reply, no such thing exists
but my mothers dreams, her dreams and desire.
The world has sunken in monochrome
They argue that they are each unique
just like every other person.
We are inactive personalities concealed
behind Zegna suits and shiny shoes
we live like an ant colony, we travel
on broken highways, through the air and
and we tunnel through ground.
Is this the life that you want?
The kind of civilization we strived for?
Tedious services that drone in monochrome,
The way we sit in air conditioned glass buildings
And have &
I Miss Being In LoveFrom this day, from now on I know I am no longer a part of youI Miss Being In Love5 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
But I find my mind wandering, thinking, longing thoughts of you . . . . .
I miss being in Love, I miss those calls just to say thinking of you
I miss that feeling of intimacy when you know it's so true;
You said you needed me more than I needed you,
Why would you say that, if you knew it wasn't true?
All the words you said to me, that seemed to be so true
Were nothing but thoughtless lies, that I thought would never come from you;
You promised me marriage, and a family too
How could I be so stupid? how could I have believed you?
I should of known it was all an act, that I was just another part
Just another girl to add to your list of broken hearts;
Now I pretend that the past isn't real during sleepless nights
Though so much sadness in my life, never knew things would change so fast;
I reach out at nights but there's no one to love or no one to hold
I touch your side of bed and it feels so cold;
What a fool I have become to
History of LoveHistory of LoveHistory of Love5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It all started a few years ago.
I didnt imagine all the mystery that was going on. . .
Little by little, our friendship has grown.
But what was going to happen next, it was unknown.
When I first met you, I didnt feel any thing unusual.
But when destiny put us together again, it wasnt equal. . .
I was lonely, sad and depressed
I had so many things on my mind and I was feeling stressed.
I was slowly dying; all that I wanted was a rest.
Then I met you and it was something blessed.
You give me life you gave me strength, I think that I was possessed.
It is something that God gave me, and now I am being tested. . .
Then we knew each other better, and I started to like you.
I could not believe it; that could not be possible.
But was true. All that I wanted was a clue.
To express my feelings to you, but what I wanted was impossible.
Because you liked a guy and I know I didnt have a chance.
However, you accept me all full of grace.
Since we start to know
words i will always tell youthey say beauty is pain,words i will always tell you4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
so why aren't you
NightmareThis has to be a dream.Nightmare4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
This all can't be real.
Please, wake me up-
I am alone and it's too late
For I've only just realized
My love for you.
However, you left
Because I was blind
And now, this guilt I feel
Is eating me inside.
The sadness consumes me
And I try to escape
But why can't I accept
That it is too late?
Perhaps I am desperate,
Perhaps I long
For your undying affection,
And your love.
I'm searching for the exit
And I must hurry
Because there might be a chance
That you'll love me again.
You have no idea
How much I miss
Your unblemished face,
Your precocious smile,
And your ever-so-mellifluous voice.
This has to be a dream.
This all can't be real.
Please, wake me up-
Cure my heart
Which had so stupidly ignored
The love you showed to me.
Please, I beg of you-
Come back to me.
I must convince you somehow.
Yes, I must be firm.
I regret my mistak
Go AheadGo ahead.Go Ahead5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Pretend like you know me.
Say whatever you like.
Spit on me when you leave.
Doesn't bother me one bit.
You get so frustrated because your words don't hurt.
They don't get any response from me.
You wanna know why?
Well I'll tell you bitch.
You don't know me.
So I could care less what you think of me.
Or what you say to me for that matter.
I know for fact your a terrble person.
If your doing this to me,
I'd hate to see what you do to people you actually know.
And you wanna know why I'm not fighting bad?
Because I don't have to.
I don't need to bring other people down to feel better.
I can just be me.
People like me for that.
Well sorry to break it to you sweetheart,
But your so called 'friends' would sell you out.
You have no real friends.
And you never will.
Trust me, no one wants to be friends with people like you.
Call me a dumbass.
Whatever makes you feel better.
Go ahead and laugh with your friends.
They wont be around much longer anyways.
At the en
i call this a heptahedron.i'm nothing but a washed up clichéi call this a heptahedron.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
with pages of poetry locked behind my eyes
and forced under my damaged fingernails.
skin is my canvas, an empty slate,
and i'm painting stars in colors that do not have
names; colors that only exist in my mind.
every day is a wait for 11:11 and the opportunity
to discuss my darkest secrets with four-leaved clovers
and moving lights in the night sky.
i'm dancing on the tips of my toes
to avoid stepping on cracks in the pavement
and killing a family of ants.
i spend afternoons making up religions
and teaching them to my stuffed animals
just so i can forget them, myself.
i'm finding shapes in the clouds
and stained glass in the depths of your eyes,
but i have yet to find a shape in myself.
9334your shadow on my wall has faded,93344 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
along with your fingerprints over my life.
my skin is breathing memory,
a mind that sits for no moment
my fingers -
these once traced your lips.
my shoulders -
these once held your hands.
my heart -
this is where you once lived.
i've been dragging blades
across my skin,
digging in at certain places.
trying to find and take away
every part of you in me.
and i will bleed,
from all of the places
you once loved.
i will turn them to something
and it will be beautiful.
the numbers on the clock
will no longer mock me
in remembrance of how i
have been and how far
the distance in time
has been since i have
seen you last
and slept in the cocoon
of your arms;
i will bleed my own seas
and bruise like a willow.
i will finally be
you can love.
AliveAs life goes byAlive4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The truth from the lies
And the lies from the truth.
Many heartbreaks and Hailstorms
But everyone gets through.
Some have their own way to conquer
And some have their own way to deal.
Love through hate
Hate through love
It's what proves to us
That we are, without a doubt,
this is why we don't...she made lovethis is why we don't...5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
a best of
spilling not quite
but I've been
to be broke
for a long
an open throat
something like a
replace the pressure
with a spray
BCA Contest: I Had A FriendI had a friend,BCA Contest: I Had A Friend5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
And she prayed to God.
Every night she knelt,
And crossed her hands,
And she spoke to God.
Thats what she told me.
She told me that God spoke to her.
She told me that God held her hand,
And God made her happy.
If God made her happy,
Then I was happy.
She told me she spoke to God for three years.
Every night for three years,
I visited her while she was in the hospital.
She was scared.
I sat beside her,
And I looked past her pale skin,
Past her weary face,
Past her bloodshot eyes,
And almost into her soul.
She told me God spoke to her again.
She told me God wanted her to carry this burden,
That God wanted her to be with him.
That God made her happy.
But this did not make me happy.
She told me that God was with her now.
That she would soon be free.
But a true God wouldnt giver her pain.
He wouldnt make her suffer.
But she did.
I woke in the night,
She was sobbing.
It hurts. She said.
I know. I said.
Six Months to LiveSo I'm sitting in this cafe, at one of those little round tables. It's snowing outside, but I'm warm with my snugly, knitted scarf that's wrapped around my neck. I'm sipping my peppermint mocha latte when a tall man wearing a black suit comes up to my table. He pulls up a chair, obviously inviting himself to join me. "Hello," he says, "I am here on a mission from God." I sit expressionless, wondering what kind of crack-head like him can afford a nice suit. I wonder if he killed a man to steal it. "As of today, you have exactly six months to live. Spend your time wisely." Before I can question the man, he disappears into thin air.Six Months to Live5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
So I looked around; had he been a figment of my imagination? No one else seemed to be startled by the man's sudden "poof." Maybe I was seeing things. Maybe it was I who was the crack-head.
Or maybe not.
I gathered my magazines that I had been reading, put a to-go lid on my latte, and paid a taxi to take me home. When I walked
These VoicesI didn't think dreams could come trueThese Voices5 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Then I met you
I waved good-bye
Then started to walk to the door .
I still have lots of questions
No one could understand
I will always feel I'm in danger
And these are the voices
Can't you hear them shouting?
Are in the bullet holes
In My Mind
So don't try to cure me
Drugs could never
There is just NO escape
From these painful wounds
I didn't know you felt
The same way
And these are the voices
Can't you hear them shouting?
No one is real here
I am the only one, standing alone
Remembering all those times
that you cried
Cause you found out that I had lied
If Only I could tell you I need you
Just why did it have to be me?
And these are the voices
air that mattershe has dragon tattoos and a staple holding together his tongue.air that matters5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Storm-grey eyes seeing the world in raindrop transparencies and smoke-clouded faces.
he hears metal and rock in the whisp of the wind and tastes arsenic in every drink, brain clogged with numbness and fuzzy-thought-slippers as the room spins and leaves his heart gasping.
and everyone looks the same,
except her, and the ways her emerald eyes move,
because when he glances in the mirror,
he sees only demons, but when he's with her, he can almost make him shine like gold wind in the sun
but the world isn't rainbows and he's chugging alcohol by the tankload in hopes of disrupting his childish dreams because he knows he would not change.
the rain seems to be pouring more intensely than ever before and
it is becoming oh so hard to breathe in the lung piercing midst of early december mornings
the trees are bare and at night when he's sober enough to f e e l,
he'll see light blue darken to navy to charcoal black
He isHe IsHe is4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
He is an artist.
He paints the stars,
And sketches my heart.
He can erase the pain from his work.
He puts pastels in the black.
He is a poet.
He speaks the language of love,
He writes what he means,
And he means what he writes.
He pours himself into my fingers,
And I can be his pen.
He is a reader.
He can read my face,
But he doesn't have to,
He could just read my thoughts.
Better yet, read my heart
Like an open book.
He is a magician.
He can reverse science,
Reverse the science that turned my heart to ashes,
And make me whole again.
He can make black into white
And darkness to light.
He is an author.
He wrote my story,
Still Work in Progress.
When it's done,
He'll put it on the shelf
And always remember it.
He is love.
He is grace.
He is peace.
He is everything.
anorexia nervosa. _part two o.anorexia nervosa. _part two6 years ago in Biography & Memoir More Like This
I lean back against the rim of my bed and dig my feet as far into the floor as the carpet will allow. The panic leaves me like an ocean wave, scraping up against the sand of my head and leaving me breathless. I want to hurt something. My arms settle neatly around the other, touching on my wrists, rubbing down my forearms, clenching my hands together.
Someone should have shot me as soon as I made it out of the womb, I think, and my hands settle around my neck.
Sometimes, I broke.
There were two months where, every Saturday and Sunday, I had Poptarts for breakfast, which is about two hundred calories per individual Poptart. There was an entire month where I ate ice cream every night. The second month after I had started, late September-ish, I found that I couldn't take the hunger for very long, and I would eat a snack before dinner. This ended in mid-October, thankfully, and some of the shame subsided. I
AnorexiaAnorexia7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
If I died for you would you cry for me
Because lately I've been feeling so empty
Is a life like this really what it seems
Trying so hard to make our souls new and clean
Will we regret this at the end of a hard day
Will life be nothing more than longing to waste away
Does it help us, does it make us?
Does it build us, does it break us?
Take the wheels, feel the control
Work for that body, purify that soul
Challenge yourself, feel the temptation
Lavish in sin, lust the sensation
Skip it, don't take it, you know to say no
Don't be like the weak ones and let yourself go
Always stay strong and always think thin
Because this is you're game, you're gunna win
If I suffered for you would you notice me
Would you care that you made me just what you see
Don't you know I'm your creation, you're special request
All I wanted was to be seen as the best
I never had a chance, I always had to hide
But these bones are a sign of pride
Did you know that you're the reason for every sleepless night
Did you kn