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graviora manentsearching blindly for something i know is there
but i just can't seem to be able to find it
no matter how hard i look, it always escapes
its not as black and white, not so clear cut
as everyone wants me to believe
i thought i might have had found the light
then you came, now i'm confused again
i don't know what to think, don't know what to feel
all i know is that i want to feel real
but this is the bitter taste of failure
and just another hollow hallelujah
Hello Lonely...It's lonely nights like theseHello Lonely...6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
That I'm in my bed
Wrapped up in my blankets
Cuddling with my teddy bear
And I wish that it was you.
That sweet love song
We like to sing
Playing in my headphones
And I try to keep
The tears from falling.
I know you wouldn't want me to be sad...
But I'm so lonely tonight...
And maybe, just maybe
If I imagine hard enough I can feel...
Your arms wrapped about me
Your warm breath on my skin
And your heartbeat next to mine.
from yesterdayevery face is a map of the worldfrom yesterday6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
that we've lived
intersections of lives
and crossing of lines
can't escape the fate
for its what you've made
and everything calls you back
Alexithymia...Have you never tasted tears?Alexithymia...6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
The bitter taste of sadness,
Anger, defeat, and heartbreak?
Or are you so closed off
Your walls so very high
That you have never experienced
The joys and trials and pains of life?
Have you never opened up your heart
To let another in?
Have you pushed them all away
Never believing them
When they say
"I love you"?
How lonely are you
How very closed off
How very empty
When you say that you
Have never tasted the bitter taste of tears.
closest to heaven...i'd give up foreverclosest to heaven...6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
to just touch you
because i know
you can feel me, somehow...
and this all feels like a dream
or just maybe a movie
and you know we sometimes
bleed just to know we're alive.
you say all we can feel
is this moment
and all we can taste
is this life
we just have to live
and take it one day at a time.
sad clownYou say you only hear the sounds of madnesssad clown6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
With a rare, soft, quietly spoken word of love
Agony, pain, depression, death and sadness
Are the voices of your world
You spin your webs and crooked lies
That I don't believe and can see behind
What they really are and pretend to be
Nothing more than a mask...a facade
To keep you safe from the hurt and pain
Duck around the walls to glimpse your soul
That part of it that you can't help but let me see
Don't push me away, loving you is where I want to be.
tears of an angel...try not to see all of these wordstears of an angel...6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
that are burning their way
through my mind.
stop all the clocks
keep me here in time
i don't want you to leave.
i won't let you say goodbye,
i won't let you slip away from me
can you see the stars are crying tonight?
as the twilight slips into darkness
so too these tears slip down, unbidden.
try to swallow them, choke them back
but the harder i try, the faster they fall
please don't leave me here, alone.
can you hear the cries of the stars?
they are echoing mine. the sky
calls out of this deepening darkness
reaching out of this broken soul
and now you will see me,
watch me fall as i fall
ever further into
darkness, and i
i wonder if you
can, can you,
hear heaven crying?
these are the tears of an angel
With My Headphones On...With my headphones onWith My Headphones On...6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I don't have to hear this
I don't have to see this
I don't have to taste the
Bitter tears that run down my face
Leaving black tracks in their wake...
And I really don't
Have to do anything about it
But I know that I will
Because I can't seem
To close myself off
I can't keep my heart
So far away from you...
I want so desperately
For you to stay
We can work this out
Maybe make a difference
Even if all we do is scream and shout.
frontlinesee it draw closer, straight up aheadfrontline6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
this is the plain of the shadow of death
catch your breath, hold the sight
keep it close, here in your mind's eye
push on ahead, never looking back
you fight to live and live for the fight
pick this up and run, you're the only ones
keep driving on, fight this thing until you've won
standing together, never backing down
this is the end and here we go now
wasting time...they all tell me i'm just wasting my timewasting time...6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
throwing my pearls before the swine
tell me i'm gonna be pushed away
you'll break me down and turn around
tell me not to even try lest i fall and break
that you're just waiting for your chance
to reach inside, take all of me, leaving nothing behind.
i say they're blind, i'll never push you away
they'll never see what i find in you that makes me want to stay
marla,dear marla,marla,4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you never deserved to be shoved under the bed,
like something that was worth forgetting.
i want you to know that I can still hear you singing in the bathroom
it haunts me like your smile does,
remember when we cried our first night there?
as i got better you got worse.
i knew that you weren't okay,
and i should of said something to someone.
but i was selfish, and together we were pretty and sick,
together it felt okay, to not be okay.
your mother stopped calling me when i had run out of things to say,
the day i had no words, all of you dissolved from her mind,
and i wanted you to know marla, that you are non-decomposing to me.
i have a journal of everyday we spent together,
on our last day, if i'd known,
i would of hu
Our Farewell...A handful of photographsOur Farewell...6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
A memory of a smile
A resounding laugh that lingers
An embrace of warmth and love
A dream of a different ending
A wish of happier times
A hope of another meeting
A loss of your beautiful life
A week of crying myself to sleep
A month or two or more of numbness
A year of missing you
And there are more yet to come
I never thought it could happen,
That that day would come so soon,
That I'd never get to say goodbye
And I am missing you,
For this is our final farewell.
never be the samewho are you?never be the same6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i know who i am
i know who you are
who am i now?
and after all this
is said and done
after all the times
remembering the promises
of all those yesterdays
i know that after loving you
i will never be the same
scattered piecesnumbness is the only feeling i have leftscattered pieces6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
need someone to pick me up, don't let me fall
gather the shards of my heart that i've left behind
all my scattered pieces blown by the wind
i cannot heal wounds that are not my creation
i've deftly discovered the art of breaking
Comedy Of ErrorsHow it begins:Comedy Of Errors6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Suddenly, you are entranced.
Assaulting your senses,
Amazingly, here is the end.
Insanity, of course.
Affecting your emotions,
Lives played out on a page.
Isn't tragedy just a fatal comedy of errors?
passion and painPassion is now but strife just around the cornerpassion and pain6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Slinking closer, the tendrils of its presence precede it
The building tension peaks and I have to wonder
If the cataclysm of pain isn't the same as passion.
Tears, tears of anger dripping down my face
The rain of sweet love that's become twisted
Blood, the blue blood that flows red
That bleeds heavy and hot for you
Sweetest touches, slowly, lingering
Whispers of softness
Tearing through me, ripping me apart
Breaking my heart.
You're awayHello beautiful,You're away6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Do you remember
when we first said
I cant help but admit that everybody is wrong when they say love at first sight is bullshit; I knew that I loved you from the minute I saw you at the airport.
You were standing awkwardly with your hands in your pockets, looking at me with your sad, passionate eyes;
I smiled and asked your name and knew that I'd met you for a reason.
You are real, genuine.
You make me smile,
and I like your style.
There is nobody else who beats to your drum
[I know this for a fact].
Its aligned with the pitter-patter of my heartbeat and whenever we are together you strum my hearts strings and we sing along to the sweetest songs that nobody else knows.
The last time I saw you our tempo was in a fast sleep;
With this distance between us its hard to hear the music.