Jingle BombsJingle Bombs4 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Dashing through the yard
With a Bow tied to her neck
She's looking for someone
Who's really good in bed
She found a really big dude
But he wasn't all that good
Thats when she decided she'd rather have the flu
Oh, Jingle Bombs, Jingle Bombs
She's my cat you see
She likes to hunt little mice and sleep with the doggy
Jingle Bombs, Jingle Bombs
She got fleas on my bed
The only thing that she has left is a giant rat thats dead
She used to be a virgin, but every time she's out
Thanks to all the boys, she's pregnant like a cow
Her hunting days are done, but she wants to hunt some more
Prehaps it would be much better if she weren't a fucking whore
Oh, jingle bombs, Jingle Bombs
I think she got screwed
Don't laugh at her because she's pregnant or she bites you
She bites you!
Little EggsOne green morning, our fat little facesLittle Eggs2 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Look out the kitchen window and
Find a robin and her nest on our windowsill.
She carries baubles and trinkets—candy
Wrappers and foil—before her vivacious
Red breast and weaves them tenderly into her nest.
My mother, laughing, says
She’s dizzy with anticipation, painting ponies
And clouds on nursery walls.
Soon enough little blue eggs fill
The happy twigs and their gaudy trappings
And the robin settles—snug, waiting.
We, too, wait for spring miracles on the
Windowsill. Weeks pass—she sits faithful—but
Eggs remain eggs.
Mother gets an odd pallor and avoids the
Kitchen window. Sometimes I think she wants to
Chase the robin away, but understands she’s dear to us.
We want to give the robin our support—she’s
Like family, now—but wonder how long it
Takes for eggs to hatch. Surely not this long?
“Sometimes things go wrong,”
Mother answers to our curiosity.
The Writer Imagine there's a writer.The Writer9 months ago in Short Stories More Like This
Imagine he writes stories about a person, but because they're so realistic, none have been published. After all, people these days want action and excitement, right? Not the everyday scenarios he was writing.
Imagine his stories going on and on. The writer would add a few more chapters every day.
But what if his stories weren't just that. What if they weren't just "stories"? What if every word this writer wrote came true? The person in his stories was real, everything he had written was true.
With every sentence, this person's life had gone on. It wasn't exciting because the writer tried to keep it as normal as possible.
But the writer's life began falling apart, so for every misfortune to inflict pain on the writer, he wrote something terrible happening to the person he wrote about. If the writer's life was happy, he wrote good things happening to the person. If it was bad, he
menshe liked her menmen3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
spare and sparse
lean of words
without flowers in their hands
their shirt sleeves rolled up
to show the world
how hard they lived,
their legs tucked into boots
as thick and dark as calluses
she liked them sprawled
elbows on the table
their forks demanding her attention
spearing the meat
like clean kill
chewing with the gusto
of young rams
their teeth reminding her
of how devouring was
a holy act
and she would dream
of those hands
curious beasts of prey
skin freckled with the grit of stars
and gravel from wrong turns
making paths across her blouse
pulling her skirt up
to meet their questions
and of how her throat
like it had no will
at the whisper of her name.
Last StopsLast Stops2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
The kid was quiet for the first several hours after he had picked her up. Obe glanced at her occasionally, particularly when he changed the radio station, looking for a sign that he had found the one she liked. She was quiet, but expressive, and she wrinkled her nose for the first five that he tried. When he found a classic rock channel, she smiled slightly and her shoulders relaxed. She was staring out the window at the endless dusty desert, but he caught her stealing glances back at him several times. Obe was patient, and waited for her to start the conversation.
“I don’t remember how I got out here,” she said finally.
“That’s okay. Most people don’t.”
“Yeah, but it seems weird that I don’t remember how I got in the middle of nowhere.”
“Yeah. How did you get here?”
Obe smiled. The girl, who had told him she wanted to be called Ida, had found her chatter. “Oh, I
DollI am not your doll.Doll3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
You cannot touch my hair
Or gaze deeply into my eyes,
With the intent
Of hurting what's inside.
You cannot love me
For I am made of plastic,
I yearn for your touch
But there is no magic
To bring me to your arms.
I was to want you
When you do not want me.
And I will find a way
To keep you here,
Here and safe.
Sarcasm filled the air
But I was to foolish to see
The evil you spilled
All over me
I am a doll,
Perfected by imperfection
I am a doll,
But I am not your doll.
Two Halves Chapter 19aSora caught up with Shiraku in the next trough of snow. She jumped over the crest of the hill just as he shot a bolt of lightning towards her side. Sora dodged it by twisting in the air and landing on the ground a few feet away.Two Halves Chapter 19a8 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
She threw up an earth barrier as soon as she landed, preventing him from landing his next strike. He was using the lightning whips again, pounding against her wall. She had two choices; try and dodge the lightning and get in to attack him close range, or stay out of the range of the lightning bolts and try to attack him with long range jutsus.
The better choice was almost always the one the enemy wouldnt expect. She could hear the sound of the wall cracking around her as the lightning started to tear down her defenses. She had to work fast.
Carefully, she began to gather chakra on the palms of her hands and feet, focusing to spread it over her upper arms and calves. Then she compacted the chakra as tightly as she could, creating a fabric of tiny interconn
The Ballad of Eiy'ra HaizThe Ballad of Eiy'ra Haiz5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Call him drunken Ira Hayes, he don't answer any more.
Not the whiskey drinking Indian, the marine who went to war.
A beaten up jukebox played old country songs in the corner of the bar. Outside, the mid-afternoon sun beat down on the cracked clay floor. The rocks surrounding the small mining town of Cripple Creek almost seemed to glow in the heat, and the horizon was half-hidden by haze. The township went about its business under the watchful eye of the local Dominion garrison.
But those in the Pink Moon sheltered from that world. The barman, Townes, was an old war veteran with only one arm. In place of the other was a crude robotic substitute. He served up drinks with little more than a vice, powered by a handful of servos which were connected to his arm just below the elbow. He was strangely proud of the device he'd often joke that he'd never play piano again, but his sex-life had improved tremendously.
Old Ma Haggard sat at the other side of the bar, smoking. She, like alm
Prey chapter 11Chapter 11: D-emonPrey chapter 118 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
You will go to the river and clean it. I dont want to see any garbage in it when youre finished, Tsunade said. Ow man, Naruto sighed and looked to the right. Mitsuki was sighing as well, but didnt protest. They both left the Hokage office and went to the river. I hate those D-missions, Naruto said while they were walking. I understand I have to do them, but why you? Mitsuki asked. I am still a ge-nin, Naruto mumbled a bit down. What! Youre kidding, right?
Naruto looked to his comrade; she was looking stunned at him. No, I really am a ge-nin, Naruto said. How come? I was gone for a few years and meanwhile everybody became chu-nin, but I havent had time to take the chu-nin exam again since Im back. Naruto sighed again and looked at the river. Lets do this as fast as we can, he said and made ten shadow c
:Spiron X: Chapter Two:Spiron X: Chapter Two10 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
Chapter Two: Rumours
In the darkness of the night, hidden in the shadows he knew so well, he waited. His task had been completed a while ago. Lifting up something, he examined it while the moonlight glinted off the cold steel of his brand new weapon. The raid had been successful. Other boys, a large group of them, waited in the alley below him, watching their leader as he stood on the rooftops. The few who dared to stare at the leader for too long immediately received a glare so chilling it left them shaking. Again the leader's eyes glowed red as he felt the presence of something he had been expecting. Sure enough, it came.
*~What is it?~* a dark raspy voice demanded in his mind. The leader's smirk turned into a frown.
"There is a problem," the boy replied softly as he retreated further onto the rooftop and out of sight of the other boys. The leader felt his mind suddenly being swept, the presence reading his thoughts like a book. And as each second past by, the more the presenc
The Slender Man, ch9The Wooden BoxThe Slender Man, ch94 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
My breath came short. I gasped for it desperately. My heart thudded louder than the thunder outside. Slowly, I tread through my broken home down in despair. I found myself back at my bedroom. I collapsed onto my knees before my bed and reached underneath. For a split second I was frightened that a skeletal hand would enclose around my wrist and drag me under. Fortunately, I safely pulled out the wooden box. Though how safe I actually was, I was doubtful. I opened the lid of the box and touched the contents with trembling fingers. This was my box of special memories. It could also be seen as a box devoted to Anne. Stacks of photographs, a necklace, drawings and other memories were delicately crammed into the box. I fingered them quickly with trembling fingers, for reassurance. I snapped the lid shut and jumped at the noise.
Though I soon realised that there was another sound. Faint, and close.
It was soft and harsh. My heart beat so quickly that it began
Prey chapter 3Chapter 3: Hiding from the pastPrey chapter 38 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
A big wolf stopped near three dead Cloud ninja. The owner of the wolf kneeled down to look at the three he had sent after his prey. They were useless, Rakuna, he said to the wolf. I told you so, but you wouldnt listen to me, the wolf growled. The man stood up. I thought the girl was weak, but seeing this The girl didnt, the wolf said. The man looked at his partner, who sniffed at the dead bodies. There was a boy too. A strong one. How old? Same age as our prey I would say. The man looked from the wolf to his dead allies. He saw a kunai laying on the ground and picked it up. After looking at it closely, he searched for the kunai the ninja had left. Lets go after that boy, within five days. Let them first think everything is over. We dont want any more trouble. Right, the wolf said.
Two Halves Chapter 9Ok this capter is really long so i'm gonna break it up into one smaller and one regular size. The next chapter after this is vital. So don't skim otherwise you'll be wondering where the hell it's going later on.Two Halves Chapter 98 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Sora had finally decided to take the two of them off the mountain, even if it wasnt to civilization.
Ive got to make sure both of you can spin properly before I hand you over to Nori. So were going to go diving.
Diving? Hinata had questioned.
Mmmhmm. I know a great place we can practice diving so that yall can get the hang of spinning around.
But its October!
Sora shrugged. So youll have to use chakra to keep yourselves warm. Its good training.
It was decided that Naruto would be able to get by in his boxer shorts, but Hinata was not about to go swimming in her underwear. She was wholly unconvinced that swimming was a g
EnvyxReader part 3You have started to see other sides of this guy, sides that really isn't what you expected. Now you need to show a piece of your feelings to be able to get something in return.EnvyxReader part 32 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Yes... Equivalent exchange.
It became darker and darker outside, you and Envy hadn't said anything to each other for some hours. You really wanted to break this uncomfortable silence, but you didn't know what to say. Right now both of you had something in common... You were really bored! After Envy had looked out through the window for a couple of minutes he had walked over to the sofa and lied down with his hands under his head, you were still sitting at the kitchen
:Spiron X: Chapter Four:Spiron X: Chapter Four10 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
Chapter Four: Unexpected Discoveries
This didn't look good.
At either side of the girls, there were Black Thunders. Some were grinning maniacally at them, licking their lips. Tabby shuddered. She did not want to know exactly what was going on in the boys' minds. Behind them even more Black Thunders shuffled around, chains rattling and knives twirling. Tabby knew that if they saw even the slightest hint of them trying to escape they would launch an all out attack. The entire Black Thunder girls encircled them, weapons of all kinds in their hands. They could not escape. They were trapped.
"Arcos, its almost time. They will be out very soon," said one of the boys, who was standing quite close to Arcos. 'They?'</I> Tabby vaguely wondered. Arcos sighed and in one quick movement the meter long claws of the demons hands were pointed straight at the boy's throat. Obviously he didn't like being interrupted.
"I will be well and finished with these two before they appear,
I Don't Fear You - PitchxDark?ReaderYou were always an odd person. Even as a child, you were much different than the other children; much.. darker. You loved anything to do with the dark, whether it was dark/sadistic humor, blood, horror, etc. You enjoyed scaring the crap out of anyone, jumping out from the shadows at people and the like. Even more so, you were fascinated by the mythical Bogeyman.I Don't Fear You - PitchxDark?Reader2 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
While other children fawned over Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, you were addicted to the Bogeyman. He shared your dark obsessions and you felt that you were connected to him, in a sense. You believed that he existed, and that belief had stayed with you all the way to adulthood. You kept your dark tendencies and still had a feeling he was watching, in the dark.
Though you knew the Bogeyman was meant to strike fear into the hearts of humans, he didn’t scare you, at least not as much as many others. Your nightmares varied from death and gore to the thing you feared most. When blood and torture, you didn’t mind
everydaY changEeverydaY changE7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
if the sandy tail wind has
dug holes in your back,
life is the ocean where
Shadow Fox Chapter 13Number Two was in Konoha, enjoying the blue skies. He preferred the salty air of his beach, when he used to live on the volcanic island, but the clear blue skies and the lush green forest suited him just fine as well. He was dressed in his green robe with the inch-thick black rope belt. Sitting on top of the Firsts head, he had a clear view of Konoha, and the surrounding forest. However, in his mind things were no as tranquil. He was having a meeting with his superior, Number One.Shadow Fox Chapter 137 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
You wanted me to keep tabs on him, and now you dont want to know what Ive found?
Very well, what did you find out?
Well, it appears that he could get in easily and kill her, but I fear we may lose control of the situation. The higher-ups seem to be on edge about something. There are more guards around than normal. In addition, the White Fangs son has also been hanging around the Vessel more and more, and the Vessel seems to be reforming bonds. My adv
Shadow Fox Ch. 8Shadow Fox Ch. 88 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Are you sure you want to do this? Theres no coming back once you go through with it.
Yes. Everyone I get close to is doomed to a painful demise. I have no reason to live anymore. I only wait until my time comes, and try to make the most of it by caring for those I do cherish. For their sakes, I must protect them from a distance.
You still have a heart. But that will soon change. The figure said with a hidden smile.
Naruto walked down the long hallway, flanked by dark green robed figures with plain black rope belts. He knew what he was getting himself into. He was finally taking that big leap into the abyss. He sighed. It was too bad that he would never get to talk with his friends; to joke around, and have fun.
Were here. The figure on his left deadpanned.
Then lets do this.
Once you enter our world, you will never be allowed to leave alive said
Two Halves Chapter 8"NANI!" Naruto yelled before rushing over to bang on the door. He could hear Sora laughing outside the door.Two Halves Chapter 88 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
"I suggest just working on getting a conversation going and then talking about committing yourself to a partnership," she giggled.
"What the hell! You said this was an exercise to help us decide whether or not we would make good partners!"
"This is it. It's my special 'locking-the-two-of-you-in-a-room-together- and-forcing-you-to-talk-it-out' method. Have fun!" There were a few more giggles and then he could hear Yasu and Sora walking away.
"Why you little...!!!" Naruto's scream could be heard all over the house.
"Would you like to play some poker?" Sora asked Yasu.
"Like I would be stupid enough to play poker with you."
The sound of their voices faded away. Slowly, Naruto turned to look back at Hinata. She was standing in the center of the room looking shocked.
His face scrunched up and he started trying to force the door open again. "Damn it!" he yelled. "They must have put so
BellyacheSirens wailed and Jesse almost fell down the few metal steps into the engine room in his hurry to reach the stricken machine. Red light bathed the room and strobed over the brass and steel in steady flashes. Jesse ran to the pressure gages, watching the little black needle tap against the edge as it fought to read numbers that didnt exist. Punching buttons, the mechanic tried to release the steam feeds but the lights on the control board just winked at him in frantic red and green. He ducked under a bunch of rattling brass banded pipes and fought his way around to the main engine compartment. He swore as boiling water dripped down from the ceiling, but the scald scars would only join the collection that already littered his hands and upper arms. Steam filled the small compartment making it as hot and clammy as a sauna. Water clung to his short blonde hair and stuck his shirt to his back like a second skin. Blinking water out of his eyes he ran his hands lightly over the hot pipesBellyache6 years ago in Science Fiction More Like This
Prey chapter 7Chapter 7: Date and fightPrey chapter 78 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Hinata brushed away the tears and looked up to Naruto. He smiled, still having the blush on his face. Naruto leaned closer and kissed her. This time with more passion than the last time and Hinata was less shocked. She returned it and wrapped her arms around his neck.
Rakuna sniffed. The smell of the boy. She knew it very well. She will take him down. He should be a fox by now. Hell be an easy prey. The girl will come second. She doesnt smell as delicious as the boy. Also the girl made Rakuna think about her past. The wolf shook her head. This wasnt a good time to think about her previous master. She must concentrate on getting that boy. He wont escape a third time. This time she will eat him, leaving nothing but his bones.
Rakuna, I know youre thinking about that stupid boy. Rakuna looked shocked for a moment. Her master sounded irritated. Irritated because his prey was able to escap