the Hundred Year FarceThe Hundred Year Farcethe Hundred Year Farce7 years ago in Scripts & Screenplays More Like This
a PLAY in brief
[Open on a bus stop with bench, currently unoccupied. OLD MAN enters slowly from SR, hobbles to and sits on the far side of the bench. He takes a sighing breath, then extricates a pack of cigarettes from his coat pocket. He places one in his mouth, lights it, and smokes contentedly. There is the sound of a scuffle off SR, and YOUNG MAN is thrown bodily onto the stage, where he staggers to his feet, somewhat drunk.]
YOUNG MAN: Just you wait til I'm sober again! [Nearly falls twice] but until then, I'll give you time to think about it. [He weaves his way to the near side of the bench and gestures to it] this seat taken? [OLD MAN shakes his head, and he sits.]
OLD MAN: The fighting any good tonight son?
YOUNG MAN: The best in weeks. [Peers at OLD MAN] Do I know you?
OLD MAN: Nope.
YOUNG MAN: But I just saw you in the bar.
OLD MAN: You're the only man I know that professes to
SCRIPT: Real Men MachinimaSCRIPT: Real Men Machinima4 years ago in Comedy More Like This
Sephiroth: HAHA! Did you really think you could beat me, Cloud? YOU CAN NEVER
Cloud: Hey look! It's Jenova!
Cloud: Works everytime.
Ultimecia: Time Compression x1365164563546273
Squall: Gah.. you need a time and compress your mouth...
Cloud: yo Squall... all done?
Squall: Yeah... man.. why do they keep challenging us like this?
Cloud: Mmmm.. probably jealous of my good looks!
Squall: Mean MY good looks!? I've got the one of a kind charm AND I've got
the beautiful sexy hair.
Cloud: Pfft! My hair defies gravity. The hell does yours do!?
Squall: It's brown.
Cloud: ... ... ... so?
Squall: IT'S BROWN.
Squall: You're just jealous 'cause I'm more manly than you!
Cloud: Wait. What!? You got that whole emo thing going on.
Squall: oh, look who's talking! Oh, look at me
Drawing FAQDrawing FAQ4 years ago in Comedy More Like This
EDIT: This is REALLY LONG, so feel free to search for the question you want answered by hitting Ctrl+F to bring up your browser's search function. Any and all insults contained herein are for comedic purposes only (except when I'm addressing excessively stupid people, in which case, they started it. I find ignorance offensive. Even my own). If it helps, I get tired of being cruel about a quarter of the way in, and although I'm still quite sarcastic after that, I'm at least informative. You may have better luck just looking at my tutorials. More pictures, less sarcasm.
My Drawing FAQ AKA The Long-Winded Philosophy Of Pencil Drawings
Q. Can I ask you a quick question?
A. I guess, but make it snappy. I'm pretty busy.
Q. You're just sitting there... and spinning around in your swivel chair.
A. That is not true! I'm also trying to balance a pencil on my lip. Anyway, what may be perceived as staring slack-jawed into space, or gawking at screenc
The Boy in the Bag ACT1 SC1The Boy in the Bag (working title)The Boy in the Bag ACT1 SC17 years ago in Scripts & Screenplays More Like This
ACT I, Scene I
ROBERT: a therapist in his mid thirties, enamored with messes, less so with work. Wears glasses.
FRANCINE: a receptionist, enamored with Robert and clean things. Wears high heels.
BOY IN THE BAG: a teenager, poorly-postured, gloomy. Wears a paper bag mask.
FATHER and MOTHER: nondescript. This is not their story.
[The lights illuminate a dual set. SL is a lobby containing only a receptionist's desk, a filing cabinet, and three uncomfortable-looking chairs against the back 'wall', facing the audience. SR is a cramped office, containing a desk, two chairs, a book case, and a lot of mess. Between the two spaces is an open doorway, suggesting the presence of a wall.]
[ROBERT fumbles in his office, holding in his left hand a coffee cup and under the same arm a rolled newspaper. With his free arm he shifts books and piles of paper around, trying to find the
Tuesday AfternoonGOD:Tuesday Afternoon7 years ago in Scripts & Screenplays More Like This
Yes, hello again.
I'm sorry, my memory fails me. Which one are you?
Well, I was Martin Fry.
I'm sorry, those records are terminated. What's your number?
No, no, not your queue number. Your executive number, the eight-digits.
You expect me to remember that?
Well, it is within the seven plus-minus two limit, which you should achieve if you've reached up to level one. Or, are you the reincarnation?
Yeah, that's right. That's what I wanted to discuss with you.
Did you miss your stop?
I only sent you off a few hours ago.
Yes, my point exactly. What's the deal with turning me into a sea turtle?
You said you liked swimming, and that you'd like a long life.
Yeah, but their life expectancy from hatching is only about four seconds, innit? I was eaten by a gull after two. You do realise that the odds of me becoming an old sea turtle are about one