I Fell Asleep "Smiling"It's finally over,I Fell Asleep "Smiling"6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
(but it'll find a way to revive itself)
I think I'm getting over it.
(until something happens)
I've finished this struggle,
(or I have just begun)
A few questions have been answered,
(but even more posed)
All my whole self wants to do,
(or the part that controls me)
Is to stand there and scream.
It's no longer in my hands,
(but it's still in that corner of my heart)
It's your decision.
(with my probable intervention)
I'm crossing my fingers,
(for both of my outcomes, it's an awkward position)
You make the right choice.
(for you, because you need to care for yourself for once)
Last night I realized,
(with a large leap of faith)
I could live either way.
(either way could be hell)
But that made me happy,
(in an ignorant kind of way)
And as I closed my eyes,
(let my guard down for once)
I fell asleep.
Reaching for EternityI feel slightly better today, I won't lie,Reaching for Eternity6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
It's because I know I won't see you today,
So maybe the pain would be only unbearable.
"Yea, cause generally u are too afraid to tell someone u like them, y'know."
"I feel so girly because I can relate to that..."
"But sometimes it just make everything easier if u do, and no your not, it happens to everyone."
"Even me...hey pat can i be really honest with you?"
"Yeah, of course you can..."
"well i dont know if u know this or not...but i like you, and i want to kno wif u like me back"
I remember that night more finite than anything,
A few weeks of heaven,
Followed by months of hell,
But it was worth your affection.
No one that I truly respected,
No one I felt I liked for real,
Had ever truly liked me back.
I had only mere days,
Where I felt you expressed yourself.
But it was all worth it,
You were all worth it.
But I think it's fading away.
I Don't ThinkAnd I don't think that we're through,I Don't Think6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Because I'm still bleeding from these aching thoughts of you,
And I don't think that we're still fine,
'Cause after all this time I still thought you were mine,
And I don't think that we could be again,
Other than the broken, lonely, torn-up friend but,
You still seem gone,
I still feel wrong,
But I don't know,
If I should show,
I miss you.
With Ribbons UndoneIt's just silly in how little time,With Ribbons Undone6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
We can be reversed.
One word, one action, one little phrase,
It's all undone,
Strings twirling unbound in the wind.
Weaving simple little patterns,
From your complicated life,
Corrupting my perspective,
I'm losing what I am,
But I guess that's alright.
You've had me hypnotized for so long,
It's starting to get away from me,
I won't be whispering your name,
In my room, lonely, quiet.
You're becoming another friend, another crush,
Just another soul in my list of memories,
The soul that made me grow up,
Become who I am today,
And I guess in that way,
You inadvertently have my respect.
I remember when you were everything,
And I'm sure with one word you can do it again,
But being free has made me see,
If only for a moment who I can be.
This is coming undone, slowly but surely,
Red ribbons flowing through the air so free,
They used to be white, pure of all sorrow,
This red is my courage, but also my sacrifice,
My sacrifice to try to make you anew,
Forgiven, RevisitedSome say that they never stop caring,Forgiven, Revisited6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Whenever it's over it's never truly over.
Some beg for anyone to hold them,
Some say they just want someone to love,
Someone to love them.
If love is a relative term,
Then what are we to judge,
Our judgment is sour to call it over,
If the unrequited are returned,
Isn't that what love is,
That second chance,
So this accidental pain was for a reason,
This inadvertent murder showed me how to love,
Because after all I said I was inexperienced,
I said I didn't know much,
You showed me a dimension of what love is,
The division of pain,
So you blackened my sight to open my eyes,
You brought me to death so I could live,
I'm more confident than before,
And even if I misread you,
Even if it's all for nothing,
You've made me grow more than I ever could,
Or even with a perfect relationship.
My heart is now callused and won't hurt as bad,
And to say the least,
My MetamorphasisSilent warnings,My Metamorphasis6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I'm still dwelling on my latest felling,
None else has happened,
Tears turn amber from sap and,
And I'm holding on,
Waiting for a new dawn.
Compassion drowning, ignorance founding,
Poor thoughts filt'ring, feeling guilty,
I know I must prove myself innocent,
I know I must find where my care went,
With confidence and hatred trading,
I'm soon to be fading.
My Suici-Hopeless because no one's there,My Suici-6 years ago in Open More Like This
Dismal because no one cares,
Loveless because no one loves.
I've tried to love (once or twice,)
But it's never returned,
I should put myself to an ending,
Out of my own misery,
I might cause other's misery,
But what's it matter,
I'm gone, and nobody cared.
Nobody that I saw.
I'm left incomplete,
Lives not even started,
It's just not finished yet,
But I want it to be.
Welcome to my
Don't Let Me FallHopeless and distressed,Don't Let Me Fall5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Humbled and depressed
After all this time
All these lessons learned,
I can never learn
The lesson that would
End this recurring sorrow.
An excuse to fall below the current
Of emotions holding,
Bearing me down.
These scars can never
Be hidden below,
Open scabs in some overused cliche.
I've used it before,
I don't want to use it again,
I don't want fall through this again.
I promised myself
I would fight against this,
This little thing
Where I plead silent but bleed,
These tears are going to be coming soon,
Over someone who will never know,
Someone I could blame my misery on,
They'd never know,
Brought inches too close the day before,
I don't want to fall into this again,
I'm falling to
I don't want to do this again,
I don't want to fight this again,
I don't want to die again,
I can't afford to lose this fight,
I can't afford to be distracted,
HesitanceFive fingers on my hand,Hesitance6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Five toes on my feet,
Five represents what I am,
The pentagram of my life.
You don't know what you've got 'till it's gone.
What's wrong with closing our eyes,
Crossing our fingers and daring?
I must think for awhile,
But then it's too late.
Too late for me to change.
I've taken two steps,
But I can't take a third,
I'm afraid I'll show my true intentions.
To put myself out there,
Is to gain oh so much,
But to lose so much more.
I must think about it,
Until the opportunity is gone.
Have my dreams passed me by...
The Coming of SummerI remember, first day back,The Coming of Summer6 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I thought I'd have a heart attack.
Three months since I had seen your face,
Yet we had talked the entire time.
I remember you looked so pretty to me,
The first time I truly fell in love,
As I fell in love,
I fell in life,
Fell to the ashes,
To be reborn.
I remember the time in that silly class,
I always embarrassed myself in.
I didn't know what 'head over heels' meant,
When I asked the question,
They all looked at you and laughed.
I wasn't let down so easy.
I remember the time we played that game,
Just looking at each other,
Staring at each other,
And looking away when the shock hit us.
The shock that our eyes met.
I remember, heart broken,
You made me write my first real words,
Some diary, journal,
In verse eternal,
My tears stretched from head to toe,
I was too overcome with this hurt,
It takes a full breakdown to make me cry,
You pulled it off, not once,
But five times.
I remember your words in my heart,
Your problems depres