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reminders i carry in my hand:dear me,reminders i carry in my hand:4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you do not have a terrible heart. you do not
have sad eyes and love is not a war you need
to win. sometimes i feel like disappearing, but
remember:
we are never really alone.
dear me,
every now and then, you can close your eyes
and still find your way. remember to breathe
because you did not sink a paper boat and you
are not floating underwater. you already know
the answer to the question you are looking for.
dear me,
remember the small things, like the writing in
the borders of pages. see the things that
everyone else misses. listen to your thoughts
and then lose yourself.
dear me,
laugh until it makes you cry. see
5 postcards from nowhere:postcard 1:5 postcards from nowhere:4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
somewhere between here and
there i realised: good things don't
happen because of 52. they happen
because we let them.
postcard 2:
and baby i'm afraid of a lot of things.
like the way your fingers read my skin like
braille in the dark. and i may not have any more
secrets left that way.
postcard 3:
but you still like to explore every corner of
my spine.
postcard 4:
i have a drawer full of foxgloves and a
sandpit of forget-me-nots. i
love your stretching tree-branch arms.
postcard 5:
you are magic, you are magic, i say. and i am
lost in the ocean of your eyes.
look at the clouds todaywhen i met you, i stopped writing. i also stopped waking up to a face full of post it notes saying things like its bad luck to see the woman before the driving test, or my house smells like apple cider and bluebottles have eyes, or i've got static in my arms. i stopped feeling sorry and i stopped falling down the stairs. i noticed the stars at night could have a story and you could have taken the ocean and put it in your eyes. i also stopped writing.look at the clouds today4 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
when i met you, i stopped trying to be a nice person and just was. when i met you, i discovered post it notes and then i couldn't use them. i realised my house was not just a picture of a house
closer1.closer4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
she kept the christmas tree
up well past march and its a
strange thing,
your voice
broken and sad
and
the words, no one understood.
but the silence.
oh, the
silence.
2.
and i hum in this
empty house and
your call
echoes and
echoes. the phone
keeps ringing and i
say. i say:
sorry.
and you say:
don't. just --
don't.
3.
but here i am and
there. there you are.
your face as delicate
as your tears today. and
i touch you as if
you're a paper boat,
about to float away. and i
tiptoe
around your thoughts,
afraid i'll wake
you up.
4.
my clothes smell like
you. my skin
smells like you. and
there is a dead tiger
make me stopsomething about nothing:make me stop4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
one.
you know, the real tree branches just
don't strectch as far as your arms.
two.
you know, one day i'll be able to get
that cow into my bedroom, up the stairs
with a trail of grass and cupcakes, and he'll
eat grass off my pink bedsheets and i'll
take some awesome photos.
three.
i like to write footones because nobody reads them:
i love you. i love you like nothing i've ever loved before.
i love you forever and i won't be able to tell
you that anytime soon.
four.
dear dan,
i love you i lvoe you i love you.
five.
my cats are sleepiong on thecouch. and i am
writing away words fro my heart. and no
i was thinking maybe..October 10:i was thinking maybe..5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I tried calling her today, but
the phone was left for seven
rings too long. She
doesn't like, she is afraid of
dialing numbers and jewellery and
the sound of bugs flying too
close to her ear.
She probably would have laughed
at the thought of dreaming the
day away. Because she can't stop.
She can't stop to meet me at
the rooftops. To meet me and
hold my hand. To meet me and
watch the sky move sideways.
October 16:
Today I called him, to say, to
say that I wanted to drown,
not in sorrows or swimming pools, but in
the ocean, because it's so peaceful
down there. Only I didn't. I
didn't breathe. Or speak. I
didn't
cupboardand last night i felt like the weight of paper andcupboard4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
then i felt like i would sink into everything i touch.
and yesterday i thought that maybe a bottle of
red wine and 3am and then too many post it notes
and staring at the ceiling from the tiles in the
kitchen would make the tiger hiding in the cupboard
go away. and if you could line up miles of mountains,
that's how far away i felt from myself. even though,
i could see me in the mirror and i could hear me
saying stop it stop it stop it. you are not here any
more. you are not there any more, and suddenly
i was sitting cross-legged on the floor of the living
room. watching the telev
not what you wantedi wanted to tell you aboutnot what you wanted5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
yesterday. and how i saw
a shooting star and a face
on the moon that reminds
me of my grandfather.
i wanted to tell you how
i fell on the grass at
sunset and it was poetically
beautiful. but you'd
only tell me that i was
beautiful and then let the wind
blow away what my eyes see.
i wish you loved looking
up at the fragments of
rocks scattered across
the sky. or loved to watch the
clouds go past for twelve hours
straight, but you'd get
bored after two.
i wish i had asked you
what your favourite number
is and what colour your
toothbrush was. my number
is 52. and now you can think
of me every ti
twelve hours green.he calls me and tells metwelve hours green.5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
that his toothbrush
is an ocean green like
his fading bedroom
walls. and i call and
think that i dont have
a favourite number. but
i dont even know what
that means.
we should spend twelve
hours watching the
clouds fly past
and twelve staring at
the fragments of shining
rocks plastered across
the sky, until we leave
a dent in the grass
in the shape of
the different type of
world we live in.
i paint my hands in
speechless patterns because
colours always spoke better
than words.
lemon cakethis house isn't made out oflemon cake5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
a mess. this house is
made out of:
a sinking bathroom floor
because she sighs and i
lose count. shower curtains
you need to water and rust
that doesn't wash out
of the tiles.
it is made out of:
a telephone made for hanging
up because she doesn't
want to talk to her sister.
and mirrors to remind you
that
you are a beautiful
broken
thing.
it is made out of:
sorry notes and scribbles and
a windy day. it sits next to
the other houses made of
secrets and sorrow and stories
and rooftops and bathroom
tiles.
it is made out of:
kitchen tiles, too. they are
black and white and white and
black.
a jaw of glassyou are made of glass, lit with fireflies anda jaw of glass4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
firemen and fireflowers. i can see the heat
tremble like smoke to the black sky as you
tap on your jaw.
pearls slide to the cherry pits of your stomach,
tickled with daisies and ipecac syrup to
gut you like an oyster.
hollow boy, save the glow caught between
your transient, transparent bones- i can see
the snakes in your stomach writhing, pulled
taut and shelled like intestines, wrought like
a chain necklace about your throat.
you are gauze-between-
my-fingers-and-gauze-between-my-fingers,
and-gauze-between-my-fingers, and-gauze-
oh, like a butterfly locked inside its chrysalis,
no reply.6:33pm:no reply.5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
i deleted you from my
phone. so goodbye.
[i wont miss you]
7:00pm:
no reply. because my
silence speaks more than
words ever could.
[even though you never
thought so]
1:02am:
remember that time we
were tangled and drowning
so far in our own
thoughts and love?
[i cried]
2:15am:
no reply. because i
know you remember.
[but you're not smiling
anymore]
4:20am:
i left something outside
your door.
[its your heart in
the shape of a book]
4:22am:
no reply. i ran outside
in shorts and socks
to grab it before
it froze.
[at least you took care of it]
5:30am:
no reply. you always thought
i looked beautiful.
[but i
in the dark.things are hiding here--i can hear themin the dark.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
breathing just by my ear, across
the back of my neck;
they whisper dark stories about
murder and mayhem and the
beautiful poetry behind it all.
things are hiding here--i can almost
see them weaving blood and intent
into a brilliant example of our mortality
and how strange and exciting its
sudden exposure can be.
things are hiding here--
and the wonderful thing is
the most wonderful thing about it is
i don't know what they are.
Wishes...I think I've always wantedWishes...4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
to be that girl for you.
I want to be the one who
has to remind you to breathe,
to be the one who has to
beat your heart for you —
it won’t beat on its own —
and I want to be the one
to keep filing away
at the scales
which superimpose themselves
over your skin.
I want to be the one you
need
because I’ve never been good
at being the one you
want.
your blueeyed boy.i.your blueeyed boy.5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
somewhere between lost and found
you sailed away on a pirate ship with
a black flag and a hidden mystery.
ii.
i have an obsession with neat lines
that does not extend to my room,
which is a mess of gifts i always
meant to give you and things i never said.
but i meant to.
iii.
a butterfly spreads gossamer wings in
a wondercloud of frozen winter breath.
alive from its small crystal world, seeing
colour in highest definition.
thousands of eyes birthed from
a silver miracle chrysalis can see
silken threads bridging the distance.
a nympha made of impossible circumstance,
incredible chance.
iv.
and what i want to know is
reasons why you can't love me seven. i am neurotic and uncontrollable, wild and raging like a savage beast that is myself. i am selfish to the core because i don't want to lose the thought of you.reasons why you can't love me3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
six. i am not pretty or stylish or trendy or chic. i am everchanging and trying to find myself among the ashes. i can't hold onto myself, how could you?
five. i am forgiving the world for all our wrongs but never forgetting. i am losing my temper over tantrums that aren't going to change a damn thing. i am crying over the past and i am too weak to hope for the future, but in all my despair, i am trying.
four. i want you to tell me the ending so that i know what to expect,
gravity.i'm falling in love--gravity.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
you're falling out of love--
but no matter which one
we're both going
down, down, down
and gravity never
ever
forgives you.
we built ourselves on promises made
of warm breath and thin intentions,
around hearts of spidered glass and
slender wires and i wonder sometime
secrets1.secrets5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
dear mum,
you secretly want her faults so
you can have something to say
you were like her, you have
something of hers. only
you don't.
2.
dear mum,
i think her faults skipped you
and went straight to me. i
like to collect things i'll
never touch again, collect thoughts
and collect pasts only to
stash them in the cupboard
so i dont open the doors.
3.
dear mum,
its the silences in between
that makes me think of her. and
i think of her everyday
i do i do. i even started
wearing her pocket watch
again because it makes me
feel like im doing something
good.
4.
dear mum,
i know you deserved
the better
half of me
lon
interstate 81.there's a metal star that is wasting away on a hill overlooking interstate 81. it blends in with the surrounding area; you can't really even see it unless you know it's there.interstate 81.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
and no one does.
i like to think that it is a signboard from god, and i make tiny little prayers on it. my religion is in curling wires and burned out light bulbs, and my lord is the same colour as the sky and the treetops. honestly, i believe that rusting metal has as much a chance as anything for inspiring faith.
there's a deer lying broken on the side of the road. it's sprawled in a shallow ditch with its four legs splayed awkwardly, hooves plowing tiny furrows in
mentirosa.x.mentirosa.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
her favourite letter reminded her of magic,
of stars granting wishes, of the mysterious
realm of thaumaturgy revealed in prayers and
between the cracked covers of novels.
purple.
we are undone, like shoelaces and the inner
workings of my mind. we are less than one,
something spoken fast and low in dark alleys
and distant tongues. we are between the lines.
comatose.
she had curly hair or brown hair or a halo that shone
in the sun around a tiny freckled face, and notes
written to an imaginary abattoir that she would have
liked to disown. she fell asleep with dictionaries in her lap.
three.
we could have suffocated under her i
dear self,1.dear self,4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
tomorrow is not worth waiting for.
sure, there will be sunshine (with
a slight chance of rain) and sure,
some kid will be smiling, and yes,
life is still
moving
on,
but it's not like anyone cares.
2.
you just want someone to love you,
misery and tears and all. maybe you
could spend saturdays curled up
under the covers, memorizing
the patterns of breathing. maybe
you could count the seconds but
the problem is that there would never
be enough, the problem is that
there's nothing there to love.
3.
no one is listening.
4.
i'd write you a letter, but
you'd never read it. i'm stuck
screaming into my own heart,
wonderin
kitestrings.you confessed that when you were little you would pull apart monarch butterflies because they were much too beautiful--kitestrings.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
so beautiful that they made you feel uneasy.
(you always did call me the most beautiful thing you'd ever known.)
it's almost december now, and the only reason i wish you were here is so you could make snow angels and i could rip off their wings.
---
you wanted a kite for your birthday, so i got you one that was shaped like a bat and we took it to the beach, watched it crash into the surf over and over until it was bent and broken. i rescued it from the tide and surfaced dripping saltwater -- you told me i looked like t
12 : fuck"let's forget for a moment that love doesn't exist and rainbows don't last forever," he whispered, running his hand along the curve of her waist. she choked down a,"but i can't," and pulled him close to her. it's hard for her to remember that his heart doesn't beat for love when he kisses her collarbone and the smell of rainwater makes her dizzy.12 : fuck4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
"i want you, ohgodiwantyou." and she couldn't help but hope that maybe he wanted her for more than one reason.
x
he called it
"fucking" and she whispered,
o2 : sticks and stones.sticks and stones -o2 : sticks and stones.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
she lives during the night, her ravenous eyes desperately searching for excitement to thrive on. she dreams she jumps out her window and flies away, raising her paintbrush into the sky and painting midnight rainbows against scattered stars.
she smiles,
nobody'll know that she made something this beautiful.
and even if they did,
nobody would care.
may break my bones -
she dips her clothed feet into the pacific, and lets the cold pain shoot up her legs, only drawing back before she goes completely numb.
she likes reminding herself that she's still alive, she likes knowing she has control.
(she's mastered it so wel
Sta.sh
