DEAR DAVEYDEAR DAVEY7 years ago in Humor More Like This
Hey, all you heart-beaters out there in reader-land. You may not have heard of me (y'know, if you live underground in a bomb shelter with no TV or somethin'), but I'm Maggot Boy. That's right, the superhero saviour of Sovereign City, beating back the slobbering mindless with the help of my faithful retard, Mr. Chainey! I mean, sidekick. You can call me Davey.
Anyway, you may be wondering how it is a dead guy got saddled with some kind of advice column. Stop. All you need to know is that, being a dead guy, I know absolutely everything there is to know. Period. I can totally solve any problem in the absolute best way possible, because I am a freaking genius. Especially when it comes to girls. Don't question me, 'cause I'm always right (unless you're Sam, but what does she know?).
So, send me your crap! Questions and life problems and that kinda thing. I'll t
Lovecraftian Humor 50 Things Randolph Carter is not supposed to do, everLovecraftian Humor4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
1. I'm not allowed to refer to myself as a Time Lord, and the Silver Key is not my TARDIS.
2. I'm not allowed to refer to the Great Race of Yith as the Great Race of Time Lords and claim that I'm an honorable member.
3. I'm not allowed to include anyone's name in the lunch menu at the cafeteria when we gather for our monthly meetings.
4. Even if said person annoys me and everyone else greatly.
5. I'm also not allowed to try and bend Rule #3 by writing the name of the person in Aklo so that only the Great Old Ones are able to read it.
6. I'm not allowed to refer to the Mi-Go as 'the talkative Fungi from Pluto'.
7. I'm not allowed to shout 'the
RevelationsI saw Him rise and He does exist,Revelations3 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
came and saved a sinning atheist.
Showed me light when I saw none,
paved the way for the path I'm on.
Now I know what's required of me,
the Lord has come and set me free.
With pen in hand I write this line,
and watch the stars as they realign,
Others laugh and call me names,
they'll soon perish in His flames!
None of them would take a look,
as I opened up the holy Book!
I pray and plead to join the throng,
worshipers that know Your song!
Come take me to the distant place,
insane in the arms of mad embrace!
Oh Great Lord Cthulhu!
Summoning Cthulhu For DummiesHow To Summon the Dark Priest CthulhuSummoning Cthulhu For Dummies9 years ago in Humor More Like This
Ten Easy Steps to Awaken Your Very Own Eldritch Horror
Have you ever looked up at the stars and wondered what strange, unearthly phantoms seeped down from them in aeons past? Ever wanted to prove your worth to the entire world and simultaneously erase the stain of humanity from its surface? Ever had an overwhelming urge to seek out the forbidden knowledge posessed by those who cannot be named? Well, now you can do all these things, and many more! Great Cthulhu, the High Priest of the horrific Elder Gods, lies dreaming in the sunken city at the bottom of the primal ocean, and now the power to raise him from his ancient slumber is in your hands! Just follow these easy instructions to the letter, and you'll be singlehandedly responsible for the demolition of everything pure in the universe in no time!
1. Find ye the Necronomicon.
This step is often difficult, as the Necronomicon, written by the mad Arab Abdul Al
insects ravage my soulinsects ravage my soul12 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
turn me inside out
am i beautiful to you
sibylline as i may be
full of horror and deceit
can you smell me rotting deep within
insects eat away at my insides
perhaps already dead
my eyes, their mouldering
as postmortem sets in
save me from the insects
can you hear the lovely cries
pouring from my soul
so beautiful to you
so beautiful to you
you adore my pain
watch the insects ravage my flesh
they feed off me just like you
youve made me bloody and tainted
its you dear
its you dear
and now im beautiful to you
Getting Over It"Get over it"Getting Over It5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
You say it as though its a choice.
Like I choose to sing the blues everyday.
You speak as though I'm in control.
Why choose to feel insane?
You think it's all so easy?
Then why feel this way in the first place?
It's not as simple as just willing it all away.
The feelings embed themselves in your brain.
Those feelings turn into thoughts,
You never want to say.
The thoughts turn to actions,
To chase the feelings away.
Its a never ending cycle
Thats not so easy to break.
'The Fall''The Fall'4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
We are falling from the top of a thousand storey building.
The girl to my left dreams of flying.
The guy in front can only feel the wind in his face.
I mostly contemplate the concrete below.
We get distracted by the occasional passage of birds.
On the horizon clouds gather in marvelous shapes. I smile and tell them about it. They look and smile back at me.
Abruptly the horizon disappears.
The concrete is soft and welcomes us.
And nature celebrates our Fall.
Bunny EyesBunny Eyes8 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
If I would have to name what attracted me to her, then I would have to say it was her smile. Even that I just got to see it a couple of times, before she disappeared from her apartment. Seemed like a good girl, from a good family; its a pity she ended up the way she did.
By the second week of October, she was already acting pretty odd; rarely left her apartment, had even cut the telephone lines and spends most of her time in her bedroom locked, cuddled on her bed scared to death holding against her trembling self, as giving her some sense of security, her browned eyed three legged rabbit. The police, used to visit her regularly, but that didnt seemed to cease her panic, as some sort of unexplained macabre event would take place in her life and she couldnt do anything to stop it. She covered her windows on black fabric for weeks, was by that time that I stop seeing her as often.
On November 5th, my concerns about her health got to limit, as a dreadful
Another Drabble -sigh-I couldn't help but stare at him.Another Drabble -sigh-4 years ago in Romance More Like This
My little bird was standing next to me, a soft looking white towel around his waist and an identical white towel running through his dripping wet raven-like hair. His usual shades were off, and the television channel was reflecting off his beautiful blue eyes. He wrapped the towel he was wiping his hair with around his shoulders and sat next to me. My eyes followed his every move, but as he sat down, my eyes traveled to the towel around his waist that I currently despised. His legs were slightly opened as he leaned his elbows on his knees. I stared at him so long, I forgot to blink and my eyes began to water.
"Whatcha watching, dude?"
As soon as the word left my mouth, Robin flushed embarrassedly, looking away before quietly saying, "Shut up."
I chuckled before pulling him into a chaste kiss.
La Esperanza de los InocentesLa Esperanza de los Inocentes4 years ago in Concrete Poetry More Like This
Me siento solo al despertarme en plena noche,
cuando la tristeza invade mis ojos...
pero no soy tan fuerte como para poder llorar,
no soy el hombre por el que merece la pena luchar.
Me voy, sin encontrar un hombro en el que llorar,
cuando todo el mundo intenta apoyarse en el mío.
Y ciertamente la gente espera mucho de mí,
pero ¿qué puedo esperar yo de ellos?
Guardo en mí todos aquellos recuerdos
que me hacen volver a la vida,
pero lo cierto es, que en este mundo de sombras
pesan más los errores y las mentiras.
Con una mirada o un simple gesto,
alguien que me diga lo especial que soy...
sería como hallar el tesoro enterrado
que mi alma necesita para sentirme salvado,
salvado por ti.
RandomA life of miseryRandom8 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Filled with tragedy
Enveloped in hatred
Tested and martyred
A life of love
Flying like a dove
Covered in satisfaction
Never ending attraction
A life of sin
Never able to win
Well known to the poor
Progenitor of the whore
A life of fancy
full of money
A house and a car
Knowing how rich you are
what is your life?
Rescoldos del PasadoRescoldos del Pasado4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
El calor de sus manos se tornó imperturbable ante el suspiro que espetaban los ruiseñores, cantando fuertes y seguros a su adorada mañana llena de júbilo, soleada y ausente de nubes.
Estábamos los dos juntos, observando nuestras piernas entrelazadas entre las sábanas, mientras una gota de sudor se deslizaba por su pecho errante. Nos miramos fíjamente mientras el tiempo se detenía en aquel preciso instante, cuando el polvo de las obras y los primeros rayos mañaneros alumbraban sus increíbles ojos verdosos, aún humedecidos entre bostezos.
Era una sensación inequívoca y desconcertante a la vez. Su tacto me hacía estremecer la piel, rizándola. El corazón palpitaba, y de lejos, se escuchaba al compás del reloj de cuco anclado en la pared. Cuántos días estuve esperando sentir algo así...y cuan larga se hizo la espera, buscando entre las tinieblas de la noche, sintiendo el aliento de tantí
Love Is ThisLove is this.Love Is This5 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Love is acceptance.
Love is being nice on the Internet.
Love is giving a homeless man a blanket.
Love is refusing payment for your art.
Love is denying yourself.
Love is giving up your seat on the bus for the elderly man and his obviously malnourished granddaughter.
Love is when she hands you an origami rose, with the brightest "Thank you, sir!" you've ever heard.
Love is a hug, whenever.
Love is sharing your food with the kid who forgot his lunch.
Love is kissing your husband.
Love is doing the same thing at his viewing.
Love is caring no matter what.
Love is outspoken.
Love is the tear that comes from bittersweet reminiscence.
Love is the feeling.
Love is raising the Pokémon you like -- not the strongest ones around.
Love is fun!
Love is when you don't care what your brain says; you're listening to your heart.
Love is stopping an argument, even though you're right.
Love is Meghan.
Love is giggling at inside jokes.
Love is protecting the person who's bullied for bei
Atlas was SmugAtlas was Smug3 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged is practically the bible of American libertarians. Due to its cult popularity, I decided to write my own brief analysis of it. It has the philosophical depth and evenhandedness of Mary Sues locking horns with cartoon villains, while the obvious self-insert protagonist (Dagny Taggart) has sex with all the male heroes. In short, it's like Twilight for sociopaths. And that isn't even the worst aspect of it
For starters: a brief summary. Hank Rearden is a self-made promethean innovator who invented a superior steel alloy. His incompetent and unscrupulous rival, Orren Boyle, sells an inferior brand of steel. With the help of the malevolent government, Boyle spreads propaganda that defames Rearden Steel to gain a competitive edge. (Never mind that a crucial function of government is to prevent false advertising, slander, libel, and other deceptive pract
Glass Slippers Revised Ch. 1Glass Slippers Revised Ch. 15 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
In The Beginning
The baby cried loudly. Asmodeus cringed from the terrible shrieking and turned to face Amon, "I can sense a disquieting mutation from it I can't quite put my finger on it but it certainly isn't perfect." he frowned and pushed a long blonde tendril of hair away from his face.
Mammon glared in Asmodeus' direction, "I warned you. Both of you." She turned her attention to the raven haired beauty at her right, "They will all be deformed in some way. This is our curse!"
"Indeed, it's true we're cursed." Amon's crimson eyes glittered with shadowed indulgence. "This baby is far from perfect. As it is now, it will only become more corrupted and deformed. We'd be better off to put it out of it's misery." Her dainty fingers slipped around the baby's body and easily pulled it into her arms. "You must admit, though, she turned out very beautiful."
"Beauty isn't hard to achieve." Mammon scoffed as she brushed her curly black hair off her s
Insanity Chapter 9Insanity Chapter 94 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Once I see her and Scout disappear I stand up, moving to the staircase I can see hiding behind a number of chairs that have been placed there, in a very bad attempt to barricade it.
Once I manage to climb over the chairs I touch the top of my revolver for a reassuring feeling. I left my shotgun in the car, as I noticed I only have a couple of bullets left.
The stairs groan in objection of my weight as I carefully climb to the top.
The top floor is made from wood too, with five doors leading to other rooms. The door closest to me I notice has five locks, holding it securely closed.
"What the hell happened here?" I mumble as I glance at the other doors, each of them either barred with wood or drowned in locks. My hand traces over the door frame, it has recently been opened.
I take hold of my revolver before gently shoving my left shoulder into the door. The large wooden door creaks open and I am instantly met wi
New Year's Eve, 1999New Year's Eve, 19999 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
New Year's Eve, 1999
On New Year's Eve in 1965 a young couple stood before a minister in the house
of the young man's parents. The house, now long since gone, built around the
turn of the century, stood in the suburbs of Atlanta, Georgia, many miles from
the Charlottesville, Virginia, home of the young woman.
The gathering there included only the young man's family, all of whom must
have been skeptical about the chances for the success of the marriage beginning
that day. The couple had known each other only about four months, and had spent
most of those four months separated by hundreds of miles of telephone line.
She had ridden the train to Atlanta a few days earlier, back when train lines
had names; this line had been called the "Nancy Hanks." He picked her up at
Union Station, a magnificent depot, now also long since gone. He spotted her
coming up the enormous marble stairs from the platform to the main floor, also
marble. It was a beautiful scene, this pretty girl coming t
Insanity Chapter 6DrianaInsanity Chapter 64 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
The sound of a gunshot echoes through the air, George reloads faster than what I thought humanly possible before shooting again.
I give a sigh of relief as he calmly stands up again.
The girl he rescued slowly moves toward him, as if she was going to try and give him a fright.
Scout barks again before scratching the door.
I quickly untie my seatbelt before trying to calm her down.
"What's wrong girl?" I ask as I place my hand on her raised fur.
Scout continues barking, and I open the door.
I hurriedly open my door to follow her, when I realise what is happening.
"Scout no!" I call as my companion lunges at the girl.
George turns around and instantly grabs the back of Scouts' neck, hauling her backward. Scout hits the road and gives a small whimper before standing up, again lunging at the woman, who by now is cowering behind the strong frame of George.
"Driana get your damn dog under control before I shoot her!" George yells at me.
But I do
Insomnia.Sleepless nights turn into sorrowful daysInsomnia.4 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Where all I do is think endless thoughts
For night after night, sunrise to sunset
The absence of emotion often turns into angst
Hopelessness fills my mind and takes over
Or perhaps, that is called despair
My mind seems to wander for hours aimlessly
Without a clue of where to begin or end
I sit alone, wondering where everyone has gone
I look in the mirror, wondering what has come of me
I'm a stranger in my eyes, turning into a beast,
A monster lurking in the shadows of the night.
Unable to sleep...
Unable to dream.
Pit Bulls are innocentPit Bulls are innocent4 years ago in Emotional More Like This
Every year pit bull terriers are responsible for the death of 3 people
40 children a year drown in 5 gallon water pails, in your lifetime you are 16 times more likely to drown in a 5 gallon water pail then be killed by a pit bull.
Pit bulls were known as the number 1 family dog in the 20th century, but the very same qualities that make this breed such a wonderful pet, are also valued by those who use them as fighting dogs, training them in brutal methods, some even going as far as to sew bottle caps under the dogs skin to ensure they're in constant pain, to make then more aggressive.
150 people a year are killed by falling coconuts, making you 60 times more likely to be killed by a palm tree then by a pit bull.
Pit bull puppies, ones that have never fought before are often killed because their parents were fighters, since when did it become guilty until proven innocent?
According to the American Canine Temperament Testing Association, 82.5%of the American Pit
Lonely AngelSing a song for the lonely angel.Lonely Angel10 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
The one who grew up to fast,
Who thinks back and remembers a happy childhood past
And wonders what went wrong.
Sing a song for the lonely angel
The one who would explain herself if she could
But doesn't think she would be understood
And so she buries her secrets deep.
Sing a song for the lonely angel
Who's tired of feeling second best.
Who's being subjected to some cruel test
And feels as if she's failing.
Sing a song for the lonely angel
The one who just watches and observes as though she has not a care.
Even though she has her own thoughts and opinions to share
She won't tell them because she can bear no more ridicule.
Sing a song for the lonely angel
Who's tired of feeling ancient when she's only a mere teen.
Who has many small deeds and actions go unseen.
If she doesn't do them they won't get done and she won't leave them for someone else.
Sing a song for the lonely angel
Who folded up her wings 'cause she feels she can't fly,
She's been reaching a
Insanity Chapter 4"My name is Driana, and this is Scout." I say while hungrily munching on a sausage.Insanity Chapter 44 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
The man hands me another sausage and I gratefully accept it. It's a slightly red colour with pieces of cheese decorating it as if it were sick.
"I am George. Are you on your own?"
I nod before handing Scout half the sausage.
"Yep, its only me and Scout." I reply before patting the bed next to me.
Scout instantly accepts the invite, jumping on the bed and resting her chin on my knees.
George bends down to stroke her head, but Scout instantly recoils before baring her deadly fangs.
"Scout? What's wrong girl?" I whisper, confused by her sudden reaction. She has never acted this way before, but then again this is the first time we've seen another human being since we've been together.
Scout rests her head on my knees again, but her brown eyes don't leave George.
"What happened to your family?"
I stare at George, but what I see are images exi