The Painter I.Az őszi alkonyat tisztaságában száll alá a nap, az Éji félhomályba. A borostyán aranyló levelei sóhajtoznak egy régi ház falán. Egy szerzetes csuklyában, derekán ócska kötél, pengeti hárfáját, remegő kezében érezvén élte fájdalmát. Eres s ráncos kezébe véste magát az idő, ujjai a zene varázsára mozogtak. Ott ült egy mészkőből faragott padon, melyen nem fogott az idő vasfoga, az a pad mellett egy ősi napórával járta örök táncát.The Painter I.2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Egy hatalmas kert volt ez, hatalmas házzal. Öreg, kopott, mégis népes, ugyanakkor csendes.
Olybá tűnik egy szegényház, nem. Talán monostor? Valahogy mindkettő.
A hárfa muzsika teljességében betöltötte ezt a helyet. A szépség le
Suddenly...I've realized so far that I cannot forget you,Suddenly...4 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
the things you've done,
the things you've said,
the things that I hate oh-so much of you.
It's like you've welded me into place
and I can't move.
Not even a mere centimeter.
I'm stuck in place before you,
hoping that you'll realize,
that I've realized for far too long,
that I'll never forget you,
no matter how many times I will myself to forget you,
and destroy my little imagination,
I'll always love you.
PiecesThere's this trick in heartbreak with rememberingPieces2 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
how to breathe [after your heart's stopped beating]
--and your mind has been robbed of everything
you thought you held close. When your lungs,
they won't work as you struggle to inhale and
the air you need has turned away and walked down the driveway
without a glance back. And there's
the moment of realization that it was only a game
where cruelty was written [between the lines]
of the rules you never read. And now...
loneliness has taken on new meaning; not only are you
missing a part of your past, present, and [what you hoped
could be] your future... you know that it's never coming back.
d a r k n e s s .shadows dance on the other side of the sun ,d a r k n e s s .3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
where the rays of light cannot touch
and the dawn has yet to come to bring to life
the warmth darkness has swallowed -
moonlight hasn't made an appearance in a while,
making for long , hollow nights alone
with nothing but the croak of swamp frogs
and the occasional rustle of trees for sound .
the air is heavy with the dread of what is to come
and when you're blinded in the dark ,
midnight is sweet bitterness on your tongue .
desperation dances with your fear ,
mixed wickedly with the silence ;
a scream is pulsing wildly beneath the surface
and yet you're frozen -
eye to eye with an enemy older than the ages :
the obsidian claws of . . . d a r k n e s s .
storm brewingi'm not sure why i keep trying to hold it all instorm brewing3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
after all, being strong isn't my best suit
and watching the sky as it rains makes me remember
that night when i woke up crying because
it must have finally gotten to be too much;
you said you wouldn't leave me [ever]
but then why do i always feel so alone?
teardrops would be acid (if i let them fall)
yet i can't even if my head hurts as much as my heart
and even if it would be easier to just let go...
you don't understand me though you think you do and
i haven't bothered to correct you -
the sky is grey like my eyes and the storm,
it screams your name like a rusty violin trying to break me down.
i'll stand out in the midst of my free falling world
drenched from head to toe and soaked to the bone
and my hair will fly around my face and into my eyes...
but i've stopped caring because it doesn't matter anymore
if i'm wet or if i start to cough because then maybe,
maybe i'll forget how to be strong and will fall apart.
the art of moving onteardrops are crystals on an otherwise golden morning,the art of moving on3 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
the light is shining through the canopy above
and the birds are even singing the sweet song of peacefulness...
but passing through the hallowed grounds
on that simple dirt trail meant for no one to find,
the content relaxation that should be mine
is lost, washed away from years of the same aching pain
and maybe it is time to shred the pieces of yesterday.
unable to even remember what happiness feels like
or how to smile, the crunch of leaves beneath my feet is another memory
shooting through me as if it would be too hard to leave me alone
for a moment, just one moment...
left behind as the rest of the world speeds by (they know how to move on)
and i know that someday the time will come
for my goodbye... when i finally let go of the fairy tale in my head
that this is all just a dream and will be over before long.
i let myself lovesometimes an angel's breath is the only thing keeping you from falling,i let myself love4 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
the gentle touch is what's holding you together and as you look into those eyes...
even knowing he couldn't, he wouldn't... stay... i let myself love.
sometimes the happiness didn't seem so very dangerous and my caution fell apart,
the resolve to not get attached was impossible after seeing him day after day...
and even as my desperate eyes sought out the comfort of what was lost... i let myself love.
(he wasn't meant for this earth, for this life,
and even stolen away from those who loved him,
i can't help but know and understand why he had to go)
the wings that no one seemed to see were always holding him up until one day, no more.
and while i never got to say goodbye, i can rest in peace knowing he's happy...
now he's free and with his ancestors up in heaven, his little feet flying across the clouds...
and maybe... maybe his gorgeous big blue eyes are looking down and seeing how much i mi
nighttimecurled up in the darkness ,nighttime4 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
surrounded by nothing but the music ,
wishing for the sound of your voice to tell me it's okay .
when the nightmares come ,
wake up screaming , thrash around
( until i realize it was only a dream, it wasn't real )
closing my eyes to block out the pain and the memories -
only to remember everything i've tried to forget . . .
struggling to separate dreams from reality ,
the bags under my eyes showing of
the long sleepless nights spent caught up in it all .
remnants of the past still clinging to my soul ,
not willing to let me just let it go and move on . . .
Evading the ReleaseI save my tears for that one rainy day when life will all fall apart,Evading the Release5 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
when there will be nothing more to hold back.
I can't muster up enough energy or find the time to really let go
and somewhere deep in the forest of memories my mind has created:
I can recall the time when releasing the flow was so simple, so easy...
Now that time is lost and forgotten,
taken away with the winds that have rolled in to create chaos--
at the time I was stripped defenseless, vulnerable and weak
(and now... now I've changed.)
The tears won't come, or maybe just one or two, but
the unattractive bawling and sobbing hasn't come yet to claim me.
I've evaded the easy way of just allowing it to happen
by hiding away those feelings under mental lock and key.
One day, it will crumble from that last low blow...
and I will find myself overcome with the depression
of too long held back feelings of sadness and despair.
And that's the day when I'll be able to finally
let the rains of my miserable being shine through t
In the DarkWhen has wishing on a shooting starIn the Dark6 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
ever made a difference?
Has looking into the dark night sky,
twinkling with the light of stars
and the glow of the moon,
ever helped you accomplish anything?
Do you lay on your back in the grass,
staring overhead, like I do,
hearing the rustle of branches
from the wind?
Can you say that the dark places
that you are so fascinated by,
have helped you?
Because... I can--
Looking darkness straight in the eyes
has helped me learn to embrace my fears.
Feeling the fires burning beneath the surface
of the cool summer night, resting alone and without comfort,
has taught me not to bend to the pain.
But always I have looked up and known what was waiting,
and even on cloudy nights, I know they are there,
the stars and the moon, nature's way of telling me
it's all going to be alright.
Because I didn't get reassuring hugs
when the monsters beneath my bed crept out after dark,
or when I was afraid of being alone in the big, scary room.
What's left is to find comfor
coming apart...and it's a wondercoming apart6 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
i haven't fallen apart from your touch yet.
lost (hopelessly) within a place i've never known,
stumbling my way along,
trying not to crack under the tension.
feeling ready to... fade into the background,
my final demise going unknown and uncared about...
will you watch my fall?
listen to my silent screams -and see the tears on my face,
know that i tried but just... could not hold on...
slipping (further away),
l o o s i n g hold of my w i s h f u l thinking.
i cannot stay s t r o n g forever, it's only a matter of t i m e .
not knowing what tomorrow will bring,
feeling the fire growing and getting closer,
running always is my escape; only...
never has my breath come in such short gasps -
never has my knees felt so weak,
that feeling in my stomach and washing over me
(i can't describe...)
you make me feel something... different.
but i can't keep playing with fire,
Now You're EnsnaredFast-paced.Now You're Ensnared7 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
I love yous.
You weren't ready for it all,
he snuck up on you
like a deadly curse,
now you're ensnared.
I love yous.
You can't try to avoid him any longer,
this is what you've accepted,
don't try to deny yourself,
now you're ensnared.
I love yous.
Your innocence taken advantage of,
being manipulated as we speak,
in a dizzy haze, unaware, and
now you're ensnared.
I love yous.
You can try to break away,
but it is a useless attempt,
for his hold has tightened,
now you're ensnared.
I love yous.
You couldn't of known,
a simple costly mistake
because even as you fight him,
now you're ensnared.
I love yous.
Ready to ChangeThat feeling of helplessness, knowing that you cannot do a thing.Ready to Change8 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
When everything you say just makes it worse or doesn't help one bit.
Trying so hard but never making a difference, wanting to help, not knowing how.
Giving the best and the only advice you've got and it's never enough.
Your own experience is different, you can't relate no matter how hard you try.
Blocking it out is easy, ignoring them is easy, true happiness is easy.
Why can't it be like that for everyone? Why can't it all be so simple?
You try and try, especially because of mistakes from the past and still... nothing.
What do you do when your best still isn't enough?
What do you do when you've run out of things to say?
What do you do when all you've got left is the over-used apology that never seems to go away?
What do you do when trying hardly seems worth your time anymore?
Dragging at the back of your mind, telling you to give up already and be done with it.
Refusing to stop, not this time, determined not to qui
h e l p | m ehelp me , i'm suffering ,h e l p | m e8 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
i can't stand being alone anymore .
relieve me of the pain,
don't make me stay this way .
she's the one who's smile is just a little too wide ,
the one who laughs the hardest when someone makes a joke .
she knows how to be kind to everyone around her ,
even when they were never kind to her in return .
no one ever asks if she's okay
because she's convinced them all
that everything is perfect for her .
you'll never see the tears that flow inside
when she carefully composes her face each morning
to resemble that of a happy person ,
no matter that slowly , she's losing her grip .
but she'll persevere , just like always .
there is no choice in the matter ,
she refuses to give in to her feelings ,
instead always hides them away
and keeps them under lock and key .
she's the girl that walks alone in the hallways ,
the one who doesn't seem to mind being friendless .
the truth is that she's become too strong
to surrender to her emotions , no matter the cost .
They Were RightLock me up in the crazy house, it's where I should be right now.They Were Right8 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Maybe there I'll stop hurting myself and everyone around me.
It was an accident, I swear, but it makes it no less severe.
Everyone was right to call me insane and crazy, I've just been denying it.
Bring me to that place for the mentally unstable and keep me there.
Don't let me out even if I cry and beg and scream for you to not leave me.
Let me lose any sanity I have left with those white rooms and padded walls.
Stay away from me, I'm probably dangerous to you and your life.
I've only screwed up my own, what makes it okay for me to mess up yours too?
Get rid of me before I can cause any more damage than I already have.
Leave me alone! I don't want you here! I'll only be rejected by you too.
Fear For The FutureLet me reach for the past and find it in my hands.Fear For The Future8 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Recover those lost memories and hold them close.
Allow me the relief of remembering what used to be.
All that's in sight now is the fractured distance between.
Never has there been a quarrel such as this, not of this size.
Don't make me let go, don't let me forget, don't bring this to an end.
Walking on thin ice that creaks beneath every step taken.
My breathing is shallow, trying to hold back and let it pass.
Holding onto a last shred of hope that this will all blow over.
Bringing back the previous warmth, laughter and smiles.
Grabbing hold of the scattered remains of our friendship.
Trying to hold on, keep fighting and get through it all.
Stay strong, keep your chin up, believe it will get better.
Worse before better, bad before good, failure before success.
It's the simple facts of life that holds it all together.
Capture the memories into a collage of snapshots of the past.
Put them in a box for safe keeping or frame them for on th
Knowing they won't hear meI could tell you that I'm fine.Knowing they won't hear me8 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
What good would that do if it's not the truth?
I spin around my room late at night,
brainwashing myself into thinking it's all okay,
listening to loud music and forgetting the world.
The fantasy ends as soon as it begins,
shattered by reality that comes crashing down
with the rise of the morning sun, so harsh and cruel.
There's only so long I can tolerate their constant babble
before I snap at them and then get yelled at.
I want to be alone, I want to sit in my room and brood.
I want to think about my life and everything I've screwed up.
I want to sit there and torture myself
with the knowledge that I've sealed my own fate with my actions.
Relieve the stress with writing instead of a blade
even though it may be easier to open my drawer where it sits,
take out the dull one I have and let it spill my blood.
Too bad I'm not stupid enough to try it,
too bad I value life and myself and wouldn't ever dare.
Just once, I want to feel what it's like,
I want to se
Just a DreamYou spin me around the dance floor, my hair loose and my smile wide.Just a Dream8 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
I can't stop laughing and the warmth in the room doesn't faze me.
All my worries wash away with the beat of the pounding music as we dance.
I can't remember the last time I was as happy and had as much energy as right now.
Here in this place, it all fades away and there is nothing to worry about.
With you I am safe, I am happy and I can't imagine how it could ever be different.
My clutzy feet are forgotten and I dance flawlessly around the room.
I'm breathless and free, everything forgotten and nothing on my mind but you, here and now.
Suddenly, the piercing trill of my alarm clock goes off, ending the fantasy.
Rolling over with a groan, to slam my hand down on the snooze button.
Blinking away the haze and sitting up to look around at my plain bedroom.
It was never true, all just a dream... I could never be that lucky.
Turning back around and burying my face in the pillow to wet it with hot tears.
Everything comes cra
HometownThe days have gotten brisk and cool with the coming of autumn blowing in with the stiff breeze. The streets lined with antique shops, family-owned and run during the slow days of summer with the relaxation of a small town community. I knew that there was a place out there where doors and windows were kept locked overnight and even during the day but we had never seen such a show of distrust here.Hometown9 months ago in Short Stories More Like This
There are trees that line our main street, planted long before man set foot in the arena and claimed it to destroy nature and build up this place I call my home. The gnarled branches seem to be as old as the weathered shops they frame but while they have survived through time long before our human-made buildings, it is the weak structures of our homes that show the most needed repair.
I walk along the dusty sidewalks through the few blocks that make up the whole range of my knowledge and life, the place I've grown up in. I've only but heard stories of people who've left
NightmareTrying so hard is where you went wrong. Bittersweet tears fall down your stricken face to land on the ground. Around you is a forest shrouded in darkness with only a little bit of moonlight trickling through the thick canopy of damp leaves. The forest floor is damp and squishy from the anguish that's ascended from you to cover the place like a thick and heavy blanket. Surrounding you is the pain of what once was and will never be again. You trusted and that trust was the very thing that got you here, kicked to hell and back by the one thing your heart treasured enough to believe. Whispers of the wind brush through the night, sending dark raindrops falling onto you, leaving a pattern of spots on your slowly drying clothing. Chilled and wet to the bone, all that's left to do is stand, stand and try to move on. The forest stirs and creaks as the trees sway above and the brush rustles on the floor. A lone owl hoots somewhere in the distance, as if to mock you and everything you'veNightmare11 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
FlamesFlickering flames lick over the page filled with the black ink coming straight from the heart. Consuming slowly, the edges crumble away to ashes as the soot sprinkles to the ground. The flimsy, weak parchment is soon burnt into nothing from the red hot fire eating relentlessly at it. Secrets that have been written down haphazardly are now slowly disappearing. With them goes the stress and worry, wondering what happens if they are ever found. As the last of the dangerous script is consumed by the fire, the last of the low flame dies with it, leaving no evidence that it was ever there in the first place.Flames11 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
Forever MisunderstoodWhen there's nothing left for you anywhere,Forever Misunderstood11 months ago in Free Verse More Like This
when you've finally realized that
about you, your life, or what you think
that's when it's over.
I tied to stop it,
stop it all...
but when nobody understands
what you're going through
the sacrifices you're making
and the stress you're in
you start to think that there's just no point.
Nothing's the same anymore.
I can't go to school without
worrying about my safety
or getting teased and picked on.
I can't come home without
getting yelled at
for stuff I didn't do
or for something that
I could've explained
if given the chance.
This is the place we live in.
This is life, this is the world.
I don't understand everything.
I don't understand anything anymore.
When did this happen?
Nothing makes sense.
When did I get to this place in life
where homework is this hard
where not one person understands me
and what I go through on a daily basis?
I'm counting the days
But no, nothing li
MERC - PrologueMERC - Prologue3 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Journal Entry 1, October 21st 2552
The name's Kylie Kazarian, nicknamed 2K-Lady. After my ancestor back in the early years of 2000 AD, first in the family to get into the film making business. And like him on the human colony where the Kazarian family now lived, I tried to follow his footsteps in becoming a director.
After some time creating videos among friends and with what we could use to make our movies, like my ancestor did in his old productions, I realized...Nothing ever went right. But that didn't stop my parents from supporting me and sending me to Earth for a college that still had connections with us. It was weird and breath taking, finally getting the chance to space travel and even go to the home plant of us humans. College was the easy part though...
Around my third year there I found out something that shattered my ambition to become a filmmaker; my colony and my whole family, glassed by the Covenant...All those years I have desired to follow the original 2K-Dragon into
To you my searing lover...To you my searing lover...4 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
To you my searing lover
Whose face I wish to face
But no longer are you there
To take me and embrace
Your injures ran deep my love
Upon your body and mind
But I always treasured you anyway
Your love all I needed to unwind
Your body chiseled and strong
Your smile loving and warm
Your eyes deep and blue
As powerful as a raging storm
You braved your long battle
You fought through your wars
Even if you are knocked and broken
With your fair share of scars
love is all I ever needed
Nothing compares to being together
To you my searing love, now
We can be with eachother forever .