Team JacobTeam Jacob6 years ago in Fantasy More Like This
WHY AM I TEAM JACOB?
1. real men don't sparkle
2. vampires are over rated
3. werewolves don't get enough love
4. Edward doesn't walk around half naked
5. Native American guys are hot
6. Jacob is fluffy
7. wolves kick ass
8. I can take the heat
9. I'm not afraid of the big bad wolf
10. I'd rather have a cuddly space heater than a giant sparkly rock
11. Jacob doesn't watch you while your sleeping
12. Jacob would take you cliff diving
13. Jacob is ANIMALISTIC
14. he does it DOGGIE STYLE
15. Jacob isn't an overprotective stalker
16. He's not a giant ice cube
17. If you were in danger, he wouldn't run away to keep you safe, he would stand and fight
18. dogs are people's best friends
19. you wouldn't have to change to be with him
20. to many people are obsessed with Sparkle Man
Jacob BlackTall, lengthy, awkward and full of grace,Jacob Black7 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
A bundle of joy of a fluffy amber,
Your hand is warm against my face,
In your arms you confuse me and make me tamper.
Without you Id fall, plume to the ground,
November, December, January, on and on,
When he was away I was lost not to be found,
You open my eyes brought me to life, make me see the new dawn.
Your love is always true,
Even if you cant be fully human all the time,
Your happy nature your soft smile, you can never be blue,
Yet I can not be with you because of him, its a crime.
So just for this moment take me away,
Make it warm and bright and let your love never turn gray.
20 ways to annoy Jacob Black1. Force him to wear a pink collar20 ways to annoy Jacob Black6 years ago in Humor More Like This
2. Ask him what its like to lose to a guy who sparkles
3. Take down all missing boy posters of him and replace with missing dog posters
4. Take him to the vets to be neutured
5. For every Christmas / Birthday buy him something made of silver
6. Get him and Edward in a room together and sing 'Hot 'n' cold' to them
7. Just before he phases describe Sam in a dress with as much vivid detail as possible. Making sure that when hes in his wolf form hes still thinking about it. (*may require assistance from Edward and possible Jasper to do this )
8. Ensure that all the wolf pack including Sam are in their wolf forms for the above ^^
9. Steal his clothes once he's fazed.
10. Remind him that one day the first girl he loved will be his mother in law.
11. Force him to watch the American werewolf series
12. Remind him constantly that hes not actually a real werewolf XD
13. Remind him that it was his idea to go cliff diving in the first place, and that if
10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
10. Never use English around him instead, bark.
9. Call him a space heater.
8. Tell him that dogs make good pets, not good partners.
7. Ask him if he has RSVPed to the wedding yet.
6. Inform him that real men sparkle.
5. Walk up to him and claim you have imprinted. Say you love him and demand his paw in marriage.
4. Tell him that even though he may run at a boiling 108.9 degrees, Bella doesnt find him hot.
3. Inquire as to how Leah is and if he dreams about Sam the way Leah dreams about Bella.
2. Ask him if he likes to do things doggy style.
And the Number One way to annoy Jacob Black?
1. Make him a day-by-day flip calendar, counting down the amount of time Bella will remain human.
Team Jacob, because...Team Jacob, because...6 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Team Jacob, because
He didnt run away.
Id rather have a warm puppy than a cold stone.
You dont have to give up a normal life to be with him.
Edward doesnt walk around half-naked.
Bella didnt have to travel half way around the world to bring him back.
108.9° is pretty hot.
A dog is girls best friend.
Real men dont sparkle.
Perfection is boring.
Volvos are for soccer moms.
He could kiss you without wanting to kill you.
When was the last time Edward told a joke and made you laugh?
Jacob Black by Bella SwanJacob, my JacobJacob Black by Bella Swan7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Where should I start?
I know he has
A piece of my heart
That I feel
Not even knowing
What is real
His skin is scorching
But comforting too
A protective Werewolf
And a friend thats true
The sun in my sky
On a darkened day
Hed be much more
If he had his way
In a Different time
In a different place
Wed be together
Face to face
Hed be mine
And I'd be his
Sealing our love
How to: Make Jacob Love You10 ways to make Jacob Black fall in love with you:How to: Make Jacob Love You6 years ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
10. Tell him you like your men hot and sweaty
9. Growl at him whenever he gets near you
8. Insult Edward both to his face and behind his back
7. Cook for him. A LOT.
6. Complain that your nose is burning - "Those bloodsuckers really reek."
5. When you talk to him, refer to him as "My Jacob". For example: "How is My Jacob today?" and "My Jacob, please fetch me a space heater."
4. Shiver a lot, even when indoors. When he hugs you to warm you up, tell him he's hot.
3. Laugh at all his jokes, especially the 'blonde' ones.
2. Tell him your favourite character from X-Men is Wolverine
and the number one way to make Jacob Black fall in love with you:
1. Buy a broken down car and ask him to fix it. When it's fixed, break it again!
40 Ways to annoy Jacob BlackI-luv-Edward-Cullens guide to ANNOYING JACOB BLACK. [Because we all hate him ]40 Ways to annoy Jacob Black6 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
1. Force him to wear a leash and collar and tie him to a pole.
2. Put up fliers saying "Lost Dog" with his picture on it.
3. Give him mouthwash for his birthday. Tell him he has dog breath.
4. Constantly remind him that Bella would rather die then be with him.
5. Throw silver spoons at him. (Its a werewolf pun XD)
6. When hes a werewolf steal his pants.
7. Paint his motor bike hot pink.
8. Buy him a cat.
9. Name it Edward.
10. Buy him dog food. Act offended when he wont eat it.
11. Ask him what hes getting Edward and Bella for a wedding present.
12. Tell him Bella is allergic to dogs.
13. Ask him how he lost to an old man.
14. Call the dog pound on him when he fazes
15. Lock him in a room with Edward
16. Post the results on YouTube
17. Tell him that Aro and Bella are eloping in Mexico and hes not invited.
18. Tell him hes not a REAL werewolf, he
20 Reasons to LOVE Jacob Black20 Reasons to LOVE Jacob Black6 years ago in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
1) He is almost guaranteed to always be half naked
2.) You can cut costs in winter and throw away all heaters, get Jacob to warm you up
3.) He is naturally warm, who wants to shiver every time they touch someone?
4.) If you need someone to stick their hand in a mower, get Jacob... If he cuts himself he will heal quickly
5.) Forget Mechanics, Jacob will fix/repair/restore most things for free.
6.) He doesnt speak as if he lives in the early 1900s *cough, Edward, cough*
7.) He can be your pet dog AND your boyfriend at the same time
8.) He cracks blonde jokes at Rosalie
9.) If you got married, you could save money on clothes, since he only ever wears pants
10.) Jacobs a more in name than Edward
11.) If you didnt have room in the fridge for leftovers, he can eat them for you
12.) Need to get fit? Use him as a punching bag (he wont feel it)
13.) He kisses spontaneously
14.) Jacob gives bear hugs -10X better than normal hu
Pains of JacobI thought we could be togetherPains of Jacob7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
I thought I could make things clearer,
that it was you I sought.
I love you Bella.
But you wouldn't listen,
couldn't you feel your love for this fella?
Beyond my limits I hastened.
Thought that you'd change,
but your mind was forever his
and your heart strange.
I will always remember this.
The feeling of loneliness,
when your heart stops beating
and when I plummet to my abyss,
as I think of your feeding.
I love you too.
I thought there was a chance.
But soon I saw through.
You didn't love me, in that way, you never spared a second glance.
Though I felt it when you kissed me back.
Your mind was his, you were gone.
I wasn't your Jacob Black.
I will never see you during dawn.
While heard he took your hand.
The agony spiraling through me.
I was the one damned.
How could you let me be?
Come back. Stay.
that was all I needed.
The words that made me feel this way,
a numbing to my heart as it bleeded.
But time has come when you
10 Ways to Annoy Alice Cullen10 Ways to Annoy Alice Cullen10 Ways to Annoy Alice Cullen7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to jump for it.
9. Tell her if she was just a few centimetres shorter she could legally be a midget.
8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever you can.
7. Tie her up in a straightjacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin.
6. When you go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan Im melting.
5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic.
4. When she gets a vision, ask if her spidey senses are tingling.
3. Trip her up and ask if she saw it coming.
2. Ask her what you will be doing in five minutes every ten minutes.
And the Number One way to annoy Alice Cullen?
1. Email her dozens of application forms for the position of speaker on psychic hotlines.
10 More Ways to Annoy Rosalie10 More Ways to Annoy Rosalie Hale10 More Ways to Annoy Rosalie6 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
10. Tell her that you never believed in the whole "dumb blonde" thing until you met her.
9. Throw out all the reflective objects in the house and blame it on Jasper.
8. Whenever she's talking, interrupt with, "Heard that one." and tell a blonde joke that you claim is way better.
7. If you catch her looking at herself in the mirror, tell her that if she was a real vampire, she wouldn't be able to see her reflection.
6. Whenever Emmett is around, ask her why exactly she was mad that Edward chose Bella over her.
5. Sign her up for the "Blonde Joke A Day" emailing service.
4. Talk to her only in Valspeak, and make sure every other word is "like".
3. Giggle whenever she's around, and when she asks what you're laughing at, look confused and say, "I thought I was speaking clearly enough."
2. Respond to everything she says with "I know, right?"
And the Number One way to ann
10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
10. Sing Discovery Channel by the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.
9. Hotwire his Volvo and take it on a joyride.
8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.
7. Ask how Tanya is.
6. End every argument with Bite me, Edward.
5. Call him Romeo both behind his back and to his face.
4. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?
3. Tell him his hair isnt bronze, its ginger, and he should stop denying himself hes a ranga.
2. Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.
And the Number One way to annoy Edward Cullen?
1. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to Like a Virgin by Madonna.
Never give Alice Cullen Sugar*Alice and Bella return from a day of shopping. And Bella is unusually happy and energetic.*Never give Alice Cullen Sugar6 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Edward: Alice, did you give Bella coffee?
Alice: Well ..a little. She wasnt being very cooperative about shopping.
Edward: Two cups is NOT a little, Alice.
Alice: It is compared to what I had
Edward: Alice you didnt.
Alice: OH YES EDWARD YES! I DID IT, HAHA!!!
*Edward backs away from Alice.*
Edward: Carlisle! Alice ate You know what!
*Carlisle enters the room*
Carlisle: How many Alice?
Alice: Only a couple, Carlisle.
*Alice innocently at Carlisle.*
Carlisle: Oh no.
Alice: BELLA! LETS GO SHOPPING AGAIN!
Edward: You just got home from shopping.
Bella: I DONT CARE EDWARD! ALICE LETS GO!
10 Ways to Annoy Esme Cullen10 Ways to Annoy Esme Cullen10 Ways to Annoy Esme Cullen7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
10. Let it slip what Carlisle really does during his night shifts at the hospital, with all of the pretty nurses.
9. Tell her all about the names of your future children, when you want to have them, what genders you want them to be, etc.
8. Ask her if her hair looks like caramel, does it taste like caramel?
7. Politely ask if Carlisle asks her to dress up as Nurse. Naughty in the bedroom and if he demands she calls him Doctor. Dreamy
6. Tell her that Carlisle is much too old for her, and that he is clearly a cradle-snatcher or paedophile.
5. Take a chunk of her hair, put it in a blender with milk and hand back the final product, claiming its a caramel milkshake.
4. Tell her what the nurses at the hospital really think of Carlisle then smudge lipstick on Carlisles shirt collar and spray him with perfume. Laugh loudly when Esme notices, and videotape the reactio
10 Ways to Annoy Bella Swan10 Ways to Annoy Bella Swan10 Ways to Annoy Bella Swan7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
10. Ask about Mike.
9. Ask about Eric.
8. Ask about Jacob.
7. Ask about Edward.
6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the White Pages she looked for fake fan-boys.
5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun.
4. Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her happy.
3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong, and she should stop with her weird fetishes.
2. Tell her we all know about the real reason she married Edward the honeymoon.
And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan?
1. Tell her that you and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her you are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Videotape the reaction.
Jacob Black? Chapter 5Chapter FiveJacob Black? Chapter 57 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Jacob and my friendship grew. It wasnt always by a significant amount, but when you stepped back to look at it, anyone could see that just over those few weeks, we had gotten to be steady friends. I enjoyed his company, even if he was a silent friend. I looked to him for help, and he was always one to rush to my aid, sort of like my knight in shining armour, I guess you could say. In return, I hoped to be patient enough for him when he was in pain, sullen from a reminder of her.
We were constantly with each other, talking, smiling, and him making me laugh. I wanted to see him laugh though. Not just any laugh, but I wanted to see real happiness, or even liveliness, in those beautiful dark eyes. I wanted to see for myself what the old Jacob, before he was caught up in everything from the Cullens to even just being a werewolf, what he would look like, grinning at me. And, how I would react to his forbidden emotion; would I be unable to stop myself from grinning b
10 ways to annoy Renesmee10 Ways to annoy (teenage) Renesmee10 ways to annoy Renesmee6 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
1. Call the discovery channel (or something like that) and tell them Nessie is currently living in the house where you are in. When they arrive at the cullen residence make sure Renesmee opens the door. Go standing next to her and say. " Et voila! I present to you : Nessie!" (It would be even better if you could get Jake to call her Nessie at that moment XD)
2. Ask her if she'd like to take Jakes paw in marriage one day.
3. Don't invite Jacob on your wedding but do invite her and tell her it's a "Safety percaution"
4. Ask her if she thinks Jacob is hot while he is standing next to you (and they aren't together yet )
5. Put a bottle of coca-cola in front of her and then take some blood Carlisle brought along from the clinic. Put both the fluids in a blender and give it to Renesmee, shouting "I call it: Essence of the Nessie!"
6. Tell her Bella wasn't sure if she was Edwards daughter or Jaspers
7. Make her quote Romeo and Julliet. If she can't, look
Will you die? - Renesmee BDJacob? My voice so soft that I think he doesnt hear me until he rumbles a hmm sound. Of course he heard. His hearing is almost as good as my mother and fathers. Almost as good as that of a vampires. How long are we going to be together?Will you die? - Renesmee BD6 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
This wakes the sleeping teen up more and he turns me over to look me in the eyes. What do you mean, Nessie? His voice covered in concern. Of course this question worried him. He had imprinted on me, which meant there was no chance he would leave me. And made it nearly impossible for me to leave him. I could see why this brought on concern. But that was not what this question was about. No.
Will you die? I cleared up my question. I couldnt die. I could be killed but I wouldnt get much older then I was now. Would he?
Jacob sighed and I knew it was with relief. Not unless I am killed. And I know no one here including myself- will let that happen. He
Never Give Alice Sugar Part 2Jasper: No. Why would she do that? What was she thinking?Never Give Alice Sugar Part 26 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Edward: I have no idea Jasper. But we have to stop her. Who knows what she'll do in her condition.
Rosalie: How should we know how to deal with this?! It's never happened before!
Carlisle: It has happened before. Just not as extreme as this.
Emmett: So what do we do?
Edward: We have to go after her, now! She could hurt Bella.
Carlisle: Alice knows what she's doing, whether she has a sugar rush or not.
Edward: And how do you know that?! You said so yourself that it's never been this extreme!
Emmett: So let's go, now! It's not like she's an enemy! We don't need strategy! It'll be easy to track her.
Edward: Then what are we still doing here! Come on Jasper!
Emmett: I'm going to stay with Rose. You guys got this. It's only Alice.
Edward: With a huge amount of sugar in her system.
10 Ways to Annoy Emmett Cullen10 Ways to Annoy Emmett Cullen10 Ways to Annoy Emmett Cullen7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
10. Tell him he looks like a creepy stalker rapist.
9. Inform him, as politely as possible, that he has grizzly in his teeth.
8. Ask who wears the pants in his relationship.
7. Try to stab him through the heart with a stake.
6. Tell him brawn is out, scrawn is in.
5. Inquires as to how he feels to be the least-liked Cullen male.
4. When he is around, wonder aloud what Rosalie calls him in bed.
3. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with that Jeep.
2. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with those muscles..
And the Number One way to annoy Emmett Cullen?
1. When he denies the above two claims, respond with Thats not what Rosalie saaaaaid!
10 Ways to Annoy Carlisle ...10 Ways to Annoy Carlisle Cullen10 Ways to Annoy Carlisle ...7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
10. Tell him only to address you in a cute English accent.
9. Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the s. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the q is silent.
8. Ask if blondes really do have more fun.
7. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift on the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER.
6. Instead of telling him to get lost in an argument, tell him to swim to France.
5. When he annoys you, respond with times have changed, old man.
4. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is what does he do in a fight? Love thy enemy to death?
3. Leap out from behind the desk in his study when he isnt expecting it and spray him with Holy Water.
2. Call him McSteamy or McDreamy.
And the Number One way to annoy Carlisle Cullen?
1. Run around the Emergency Room screamin
Emmet Cullen Series part 125 Things Emmet Cullen May never DO:Emmet Cullen Series part 17 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
1. He may never call Bella a Clumsy little Morsel
2. He may never blame his actions on Rosalie's hair
3. He may never sing Hungry Like the Wolf
4. He may never turn all the cows in the area into vampires
5. He may never say said action was Bella's fault
6. He may never plant a memorial garden in Bella's memory
7. He may never call Alice a Big Fat Liar
8. In fact he may never mention the word fat in Alices presence
9. Or Esme's
10. Or Rosalie's
11. Or Bella's
12. And for the good of the family Jane's
13. He may never do a youi with Jacob Black
14. He may never steal all of Bella's tampons and replace them with pens
15. He may never complain that some bitch stole his pens......
16. He may never Sing Barbie Girl
17. Or What a girl wants
18. Or like a Virgin
19. In Fact Emmet Cullen is to refrain from singing at all times
20. He may never join the wresteling team
21. Nor claim that the reason for said action was for a ""Healthy
10 ways to annoy James10 ways to annoy James10 ways to annoy James6 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
1. Leap out in front of him and say "You smell weird."
2. Call him a stalker every time you see him for chasing after Bella.
3. Give him a dog with a name tag saying 'James Junior' and shout " He can help you tracing Bella!"
4. Give him a fortune cookie of wich the text is saying " Keep away from mirrors " and keep whining util he opens it.
5. When a silence falls point your finger at him and shout: " I know why Edward doesn't like you! You're strawberry blond!"
6. Ask him if he secretly is James Potter. And if Victoria is Lily. When he asks you why the heck you think so say him :" You kept your name, she kept her hair colour! "
7. When you get in an argumen with him say " What are you gonna do now James? Steal some of my home videos?"
8. Tell him even Edward is a better tracer than he is.
9. Start calling him Jamiepoo
10. Ask him what he thinks that is Rosalie's vampiric gift while Victoria is standing right behind him