We are not YouWe are not You4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
We are not You.
We are envious of the things You have that We wish We could claim as our own. To You, We are common and worthless and pathetic. We are everywhere and You wish You could avoid us.
We wish We could avoid You too. You are more common than us. You are less powerful than us.
You use us to gain your own glory and then stash us inside your machines, converted to nothing but information, restricted from every sense, every feeling, every thought.
If We did that to You, You would call it inhumane. We are getting tired of your hypocrisy.
One thing We envy of You most of all is Death.
Death is a release for some. Death beckons everyone, and yet it takes You so fast.
We are given no such reward.
You die so easily, in your sleep, after an illness, in an accident...
We are constantly healed back to perfect health.
You age and your bodies run out. You get to the point where You cannot continue, and then You die.
We age very slowly, and our bodies simply crumble. We wilt and rot, piece
My Anti-Twilight Parody"Oh, Edward!!" I exclaimed with the utmost chagrin. "How could you have left me, all alone in those cold, dark, chilly, ominous, frigid, inky woods of doom? How could you leave me with that perspicacity? We're supposed to be in lust--I mean, love!"My Anti-Twilight Parody5 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
"You know me, Bella," my sparkling stone Adonis answered. "It was all for your protection."
"Oh, but Edward," I anti-whined, "You're the one who needs protection, not me!!" I fell on the dewy, richly myrtle grass. "I should have died, I knew it "
"Oh, my Bella, you needn't worry," my marble-skinned boyfriend reassured.
I wiped my moist, aqueous tears from my plain, common eyes. "Why ever not?"
"Oh, my turtledove," Edward chuckled, "We still have two books and a companion novel to go through."
"Oh, but of course, it makes perfect sense!" I exclaimed. "Edward, you're ingenious!! You're seraphic!! You're paradisiacal!! You're perspicacious!! You're--"
"Ah, but I'm not," Edward interrupted with acute melancholy. "I am but a detestable horre
MLPFiM Season 1 Revised OrderMLPFiM Season 1 Revised Order4 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
As you all know, Fall Weather Friends should come before Winter Wrap-Up.
There are many concerns about episode chronology when considering season one as a whole. There are a bunch of monsters at the start of the season, while the CMC take over during the second half. The first half is pretty AJ/RD/PP heavy, while the last half is overloaded with Rarity and Fluttershy. The Gala episode has an Everyone Laughs ending, but to me it feels tacked on and anti-climactic, and doesn't work as a season finale as well as Cutie Mark Crusaders would. (S2 update: we now know the Discord episodes were produced as the season/series finale.)
If we take the air order as the chronological order:
episodes 1-10 summer/fall, year 1000 of the Summer Sun Celebration
11 Winter Wrap-Up 1001
12 Call Of The Cutie 1001
13 Fall Weather Friends 1001
14-26: spring/summer 1002
This means the mane 6 got their tickets right after saving Equestria from Nightmare Moon, then 1 3/4
Friendship is Magic: a ReviewNostalgia can be a funny thing it's the sort of emotional impulse that makes a man do crazy things. Things like purchasing the "Sonic Underground" box-set, simply because I enjoyed it as a kid. But there's something inherently disappointing about nostalgia; the realisation that these experiences often remain a part of our childhood for a reason. Watching "Sonic Underground" as a 19-year old is a very different experience to watching it as a youngster on Saturday mornings. The once beloved show now appears to me as a train-wreck of embarrassing musical montages, repetitive pacing and rather dated animation. Getting old is no fun when it brings out the critic within.Friendship is Magic: a Review4 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Thankfully, I have re-ignited that joyous spark of infancy after watching "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic"; a show that for me is not mired by any form of nostalgic bias. After all, prior to "Friendship is Magic" I'd never even considered watching anything related to the My Little Pony franchise. Having watched s
Lonely ChristmasLonely Christmas4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
They remembered everyone except for me.
i have you bookmarked -vii. Sometimes breakfast, lunch and dinner were like art; food was flung from each corner, creating a futile canvas on every wall. I played a scale of musical doors as they slammed one by one. I'm sure I broke a fewi have you bookmarked -4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
vocalchords too. He was always right beside me, yet so far.
But we mingled together. When his hand gripped mine with his feathery touch, it seemed okay to pretend. Maybe my mind still needed to develop, needed watering. Or maybe together we just made feelings obsolete.
iv. And we did.
We sat on park benches blowing smoke kisses and watched movies, that only seemed good because everything else on TV was crap.
Bubblegum. Pot. Gallons of ice-cream. We fed two pigeons and named them Ben and Jerry. We danced to Genesis, even though we both knew that they were possibly the most overplayed band in the world-universe-all-shopping-centers-in-London-ever.
At night we slipped between the park gates and sat by the lake. It felt like the moon was right ne
Pillow Thoughts - Chapter 3 --AppleDash Fic--Pillow Thoughts - Chapter 3 --AppleDash Fic--3 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Clouds Don't Talk
The orange pony was just standing there, pointing at her neck. Rainbow was just... not quite fully processing the entire situation. Twilight finally managed to close her mouth but, before she could say anything, Rarity was already measuring Applejack from top to bottom.
"...and what exactly happened to you?" the white unicorn asked, not entirely sure if she wanted to know the answer.
"Ah have no idea," Applejack replied.
"You look even more... uh... in-need-of-a-brush than usual," continued Rarity.
"Forget that! Ah have bite-marks on mah neck! Look!" the orange pony explained, showing her marks to the unicorn.
"Did you fall from a window too?" Pinkie's voice was heard from across the bedroom. "Wait, are those bite-marks? You got bitten by the window?! Eek! Have I got bitten too?! Do I have bite-marks?" she yelled, starting to search her body.
Rainbow looked around, trying desperately to find some sort of weird explanation for all this. Even t
On a Cross and Arrow: Part 11.On a Cross and Arrow: Part 11.4 years ago in Humor More Like This
On a Cross and Arrow
By Conner Cogwork
Twilight and her five friends are transported during a botched spell, across dimensions to... Ponyville, Equestria? But not the same one that they knew. Sitting on a bench is Harpsy and Babar. The Doctoress avoids apples from an aspiring Applebuck. And in a library across town, six stallions join their forces as they try to decipher the appearance of filly look-alikes of themselves around Ponyville!
Image credit to Stellarina! Thanks SO much!
And Back Again
"Twilight?... you okay?"
"Huh? Oh... yeah, I'm okay Spike."
The dragon gave his boss a worried glance as he rode upon her back. "You sure about that, Twi? Ever since you all came back from your trip a couple of days ago... well, not to put too fine a point on it, but you've all been acting really weird."
The two were trotting along the streets of Ponyville, Equestria. Over at a nearby delicatessen, a blue-coated stallion blew long and hard on
Of Dreams and Nightmares Pt1Twilight Sparkle raced across the stony ground beneath her, her breath coming in short pants. Around her ancient stone walls crumbled into the floor, presenting obstacles that she barely managed to avoid. Ahead of her she could see her friends in the same predicament she was, trying to escape the crumbling structure. Twilight's limbs began to falter, but she wasn't going to give up, she had to make it. The ground beneath her hooves began to shake violently, almost like there was an earthquake. Twilight glanced down, and was shocked the find the ground was starting to crack and split apart underneath her. Huge portions of the floor gave way to reveal an enormous pit of fire. As larger sections of the floor gave way, Twilight was forced to spring from point to point, to avoid a fiery demise. In the distance she could see the exit; so she pushed herself to her limits. Her body screamed out in protest, but she did her best to ignore it. Twilight watched her friends gather at the entrance,Of Dreams and Nightmares Pt14 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Pillow Thoughts - Chapter 7 --AppleDash--Pillow Thoughts - Chapter 7 --AppleDash--3 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Twilight was enjoying the fresh air as she was on her way to Sweet Apple Acres. She was fully recovered from the cave-episode and started working again on her experiments. The day started out rather interesting. She managed to change the colour of a piece of parchment, which proved to be a little more difficult than it seemed. Now she wanted to try it on something more... organic.
"Some apples should be perfect for this," she thought to herself as she strolled near the big red barn. It was still cloudy outside and most of the trees were already starting to change their colours. It would soon be time for the Running of the Leaves Festival. That always gets Rainbow and Applejack in a good mood.
But not today.
"Ah thought I was clear about this!", a voice came from inside the barn. Twilight knew it was Applejack's, but what could've made her so upset? She cautiously approached the wooden building and opened the big door that was already set ajar.
"Yeah, sorry, A
Bronic ConfessionsMy Little Pony.Bronic Confessions4 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Eight months ago, those words would have sent me and half the internet fleeing in terror. It used to be the antithesis of everything we thought was 'cool'. It was a sugar-coated, diabetes-inducing parade of gumdrops and buttercups. It was what our little sisters watched on Saturday mornings while we were busy gagging ourselves at the 'girlieness' of it. But, in those eight months, a revolution has happened. That revolution has revolved around a single lesson.
Friendship is Magic.
Tack those three words onto the previous three, and you have the bait to a brilliant /co/ war, a revitalization of an entire section on fanfiction.net, and the origin of a whole host of reverse-anthro fanart. But, it is the single most bizarre reversal of thought since the homosexual revolution. Suddenly, it's OK to go into McDonalds and get the girl's Happy Meal. It
Pillow thoughts - Chapter 1 --AppleDash Fic--Pillow thoughts - Chapter 1 --AppleDash Fic--3 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
- Glittering Thoughts –
"Ah'm sorry, wha--?"
Applejack turned towards the blue pegasus. This was becoming slightly annoying.
"I uh... I said that you did a fine job.... today, I mean," replied Rainbow Dash. She quickly pointed at the nearest apple tree. "The apples, all gone. Ha! I never knew how you could get them all down... you know, with a single kick."
Applejack tilted her head to the right. This was surpassing annoying, sliding towards worrying.
"Are you sure you're okay, Rainbow? Y'all seem a bit…" She stopped mid-sentence, not really knowing how to continue.
"Okay? Pff, of course I'm okay! I was just... you know..." she said, ending her phrase with a wide, awkward smile. The pegasus shifted a bit, trying to arrange the bag she was carrying so it wouldn't fall off her back.
Applejack frowned a bit, but decided to ignore this altogether. She had plenty of chores to do today and she had no time for Rainbow's silly pranks or less-than-inspired jokes.
Shades of GreySummary: Manwë visits Melkor in the Void, and finds pity for the former enemy in his heart. Sometimes, there are shades of grey between white and black...Shades of Grey4 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Disclaimer: Just Retelling Reuel's Tales
Beta reader: Cairistiona
It was cold here, upon Taniquetil. The air was thin, and the snow on the peak never melted. The wind didn't blow. It was peaceful, serene a white silence stretching through the halls of Ilmarin. There, high above all, Manwë sat on his throne, and his sight was directed to the east. The threat to Middle-earth has been destroyed. The One Ring has been melted in the fires of Orodruin, and a new age began. Change could be felt all over the world. And yet the expression of the Elder King was not one of joy. His all-seeing eyes were half-closed, focused not on the happening in the world, but something else. A memory, maybe. Then h
"Delete File"[Hello. You're my new character. Your name is...]"Delete File"5 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
[Yes. I am your character.]
[That's right. I'm going to type you out now.]
[You got it now?]
[...Of course,you idiot.]
I'm born to this world,an artificial universe
I was made for her enjoyment
An original character,artificial soul
Even with a rip-offed personality
As long as I exist I'm fine
Years pass by,I look up at you again
Hey,you're growing up
You just smile at me and walk away
Paperwork in hand
The person who created me has already gone
She's forgetting me
Soon my artificial soul will go with it
Wrapped in an adults locked memory
There was a time,I was still new
I would stay by your side to cheer you up
Of course,with the tragic past you typed up
I couldn't always be perfect for you
But you like it that way...
Once upon a time,you played with me all the time
So much fun for you and me
And you'd set up roleplays and things for me
But now,you've forgotten the program to do it
When I see the other people you've made,I sm
Friendship is Surreal Part 1Friendship is Surreal Chapter 1: Your Princess is in another Bastion, Part 1Friendship is Surreal Part 14 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Octavia groaned as she lifted her head off her pillow. It was the night after the Gala, and Octavia had been playing her double bass all night, virtually without break. Virtually. There had been several interruptions of her performance; however, she could not remember what exactly happened yet. She could not remember why she could not remember, until she winced in pain as her head throbbed. It all started coming back to her.
The Gala had begun like it always had; posh ponies from all over Equestria flocked to socialise. Though, not all of them were quite as posh. As that night was drawing to a close, a pink earth pony had walked in and subsequently began to dance around like a lunatic, and jump onto stage where Octavia played. She did her best to continue playing as this annoying pony continued her misdemeanours throughout the crowd.
By now she could tell that this Gala was not going to
Rainbow Dash TGRainbow Dash TG4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Standing there at the foot of Twilight's door.
"Come on," she thought to herself. "You can do this."
Surely Twilight would understand. Surely she would be able to help. She could use magic better than anypony else in Ponyville.
"I can do this. I'm Rainbow Dash!"
"I'll just go in there, and tell her what's up."
Dash gulped down the lump in her throat.
"I know she can fix me."
"Okay Spike, are you sure you want to go through with this?" Twilight questioned, unsure of whether or not Spike's plan was a good idea.
"Of course Twilight! I'm just so short! That has to be why Rarity isn't interested."
"Spike, making yourself taller isn't going to make Rarity fall in love with you."
He stroked an imaginary goatee, lost in thought.
"You know, you're right! She's into fashion, right? Surely she wants a man with great style!"
Twilight sighed. "Spike, you're fine the way you are. Just go talk to h--"
She was interrupted by the sound of hooves clopping against her front door.
You're a Mean One, Dr. DoofYou're a Mean One, Dr. Doof2 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
You're a mean one, Dr. Doof,
You really are a grump,
You're as pleasant as a pimple,
You're as smooth as a lump,
You're an empty tuna can that's been thrown on the dump!
You're a monster, Dr. Doof,
You give us all a scare!
You're as kind and gentle
As a rabid polar bear,
I wouldn't touch you with a 100-year-old dusty chair!
You're a vile one, Dr. Doof,
I'm really sure of that,
You have all the charming cuteness
Of a one-eyed vampire bat,
Given the choice between the two of you, I'd take the one-eyed vampire bat!
You're a rotter, Dr. Doof,
Your plans are so monstrous,
You're wacky and you're crazy,
You're so mischievous,
You're as kind-hearted as General Grievous!
You're a foul one, Dr. Doof,
You're a moldy old french fry,
You're wicked and you're schemeful
That we can't deny,
Your mind is so ill and twisted that it makes you even more insane than good old Brundlefly!
You nauseate me, Dr. Doof,
You ain't no Santa Claus,
Your nose is shar
My Little DashieOk, don't worry yourselves everyone. This is not a drill. Due to Deviant Art's word cap, I realized a bunch of edits going into my story have not been getting updated. So, I made a Google Doc which you can follow here https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NwdIJMALxxi6egHz832IuNIHy1J7JAqulJFoGeLM5tY/edit?hl=en_US or an actual hyperlinky thingy below in the description. I was gonna just delete this and re-post something about it, but with so many of you commenting I was just overcome by your words. So, I wanted to keep them so that I can remember you all! Thanks!My Little Dashie4 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Also, for additional fan work (art, writings, etc) check out my favorite gallery called "My Little Dashie Fan Work" here http://robcakeran53.deviantart.com/favourites/46446902
Things Ronald Knox Cannot Do1)I am not longer allowed to take my lawnmower out for joy ridesThings Ronald Knox Cannot Do4 years ago in Humor More Like This
2)Even if Grell senpai dares me to
3)I cannot mow the carpet in my office or anywhere in the building
4)No matter how bored I am
5)I cannot put my paperwork into my lawnmower or William senpai will give me more
6)If I even have my lawnmower on during office hours, William senpai has every right to kill me
7)The same right goes to Eric senpai
8)Having no fuel for my death scythe is not a good enough exuse to get out of reaping souls
9)Stamping my work as complete before reaping the soul does not mean I can get my work done faster
10)I can no longer date mortal girls because I end up telling them when they're going to die and William senpai will get mad at me (again)
11)Throwing a party in my office is not acceptable
12)Throwing a sex party in my office is highly unacceptable
13)If I invite Alan senpai to another sex party, Eric senpai will cut off my butt and hang it on his wall
14)If I invite William senpai to any type of
The Bronyhood Archives TeaserThe Bronyhood Archives Teaser4 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
He takes his phone out of his pocket and begins dialing. "Hey, it's Joe, I'm having no luck on this end, how about you, Mitch?" There's a voice on the other end. Joseph sighs, "This is just perfect," He replies sarcastically, "Well, phone Chris, our work is done." More chatter from the other end. "Yeah, it does seem hopeless..." Joe replies grimly as he wrinkles his forehead in frustration. He sits down next to a dead tree. He looks around at the dusty ruins of what was once Detroit. A tattered newspaper headlined 'Pony fans gone suicidal' blows by him. He begins to question why he exists. "How did this all happen?" He asks himself. Suddenly a twig snaps to his right.
Joe rises to his feet and places his right hand on a handle sticking out of his pocket. "It's just me." A familiar voice says, as Richard emerges from the orange fog.
"You nearly gave me a hear attack." Joe lets out a sigh of relief.
"Come on," Richard says squeemishly, "We need to get out of here before they come."
Gallifrey's lastI can Hear it. The sounds of blood and pain. I'm so tired, so tired of fighting.Gallifrey's last5 years ago in Science Fiction More Like This
I can hear the Daleks screaming in triumph. They've won.
And there is no one to save us.
Was I brought back for this? To watch my home perish while I stand helpless?
There is nothing I can do.
I see mothers clutching their children, howling in fear and desperation.
Nothing I can do.
Where has he gone? Now, when he's most needed? Now that Gallifrey is falling into the dust?
Our enemies vow they will erase us from the universe.
What's to become of us?
The Oncoming Storm. Where has he gone?
We're all alone. I'm all alone.
I'm so scared.
Rassilon save us, I don't want to die.
A small dark eyed child clings to her mother. She looks up.
Her eyes are full of fire and tears.
I hear Tardis screams echoing across the burning sky.
Too little, too late.
Why is it ending this way?
We will die in this place, our home will be our grave.
The ground beneath my feet is burning.
There will be nothing, nothin