L5R Lightbulb JokesQ: How many Scorpion does it take to change a lantern wick?L5R Lightbulb Jokes12 years ago in Humor More Like This
A: None, for we walk the dark places of the Empire. We like the dark...wait no, arrgh, Ninjas everywhere, someone give me a wick quickly......noooooo!
Q: How many Dragon does it take to change a lantern wick?
A: See the lady smiles upon us. Watch the snows like lizards. Do you not understand?
Q: How many Phoenix does it take to change a lantern wick?
A: None. We asked Isawa Tsuke to light the last one we changed, and blam, he burns up half the clan while doing so. We're happy with our candle.
Q: How many Unicorn does it take to change a lantern wick?
Unicorn: I can't reach the lantern on my horse.
Me: Get off your horse for once.
Unicorn: Get off my horse? That's impossible...wait a sec! LEGS! I have my own legs!!! I've never used them before! Wow. I'll change that wick.
Q: How many of Toturi's army does take to change a lantern wick?
A: 17 Ronin scum stand around looking at it. Any of them could do it. They're waiting
Unrequited LoveI stare at him. All the time. Even when i should be listening to my teachers. (Oh, and there must be a god, since he is in almost all of my classes.) I've been in trouble because of it; making myself look like a fool in front of him. Damn! I can't seem to do anything right.Unrequited Love10 years ago in Humor More Like This
I mean, just saying his puts a sweet taste in my mouth. Julius. First time I heard that name, something came up inside of me. A certain, je ne sais quois. Whatever it is, it makes me smile.
We've known each other for years now. Correction: I've known him. I'm not sure if he's aware of my existence. Though, one time he was handing out papers for a teacher, and he gave me the right one. Granted, I do think he asked someone for help. Sigh.
Anyways, back to happy things. It seems like fate has smiled upon me, because it's senior year, and I see him basically all day every day. Who knows? Maybe our fleeting eye contact will transgre
FOPBurning Black4: Chapter 1212FOPBurning Black4: Chapter 127 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
It wasn't until near sundown that Chester had gotten a call from the Ivory Tower, asking that he return for an update on Trixie's condition. His conversation caught his father's attention and Chester scrambled for another cover story, this time claiming that he was being asked out on a date.
"Aw, shoots, my boy's growin' up and gettin' himself a lady friend!" Bucky exclaimed tearfully before recovering in an instant and grinning at his son, "So who's the lucky gal goin' out with future best baseball player the world has ever seen?"
"Trixie!" Chester blurted out the first name that came to mind, the one that had just been told to him over the phone. He immediately winced and mentally slapped himself for that one. Yeah, like anyone would believe a redneck was going on a date with Trixie Tang, the still undisputed Queen of the Populars no matter which set she hung out with.
"That Tang girl?" Bucky asked in surprise. Chester bit his lip and nodded hesitantly. There was a thick silence f
The NnaiThe Nnai4 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
THIS IS INSPIRED IN ABOMINATION BY PUKEY82 THANK YOU
The Nnai. The original version is in spanish (here), so if you see some wrong phrases PLEASE TELL ME.
Called by some people "Abominations" or "The Beautiful Ones", the Nnai 1 is a race that arouses a sympathetic repugnance to all who know them.
Although for ages it was believed that they were a strange kind of Illithid (for their excellent treatment towards those races), the latest events 2 that occurred in Milegu suggest that the Nnai are a kind of powerful being known as "dem nutkiae" [listen]. The dem nutkiae are a strange group of species of which barely anything is known, but they are ext
HetaOni: The Story Continues 11"Hey! I found you guys!" Sealand declared loudly as he stumbled into the clearing where several of the other nations were asleep. "Sealand is here to help!"HetaOni: The Story Continues 114 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Well, he hoped they were asleep, but their lack of movement wasn't doing much to bolster his confidence.
"Guys?" he called again, a bit more hesitantly this time. "Guys!"
Finally, Switzerland began to stir. The blond nation felt around for something, and suddenly sat up.
"Liechtenstein!" he called. "Liechtenstein!"
"It's just me," Sealand told him. "What happened here?"
"Liechtenstein?" Switzerland called again.
He looked towards Sealand.
"Have you seen her?" he asked desperately.
Sealand shook his head.
"Nope, sorry," he said. "I can help you look though!"
"But she was here," Switzerland muttered.
"Maybe she had to leave?" Sealand suggested.
"No, she wouldn't do that," Switzerland insisted. "And why is everyone asleep?"
"You guys sleep pretty deep," he remarked.
"I don't usually," Switzerland told him.
Hetalia x Reader - IHaW Ch 2" Another one, Mother?" You dropped your arms and stared at the floor, a headache starting to form. In your lifetime, your mother had introduced you to two other brothers. One was from Washington. You were 14, and he was 19. Despite not wishing to, you met your other brother from France. He was 17, while you were 15. After meeting, you never got in touch with them, and vice versa. Now you were 16, meeting your third unknown brother. You knew your mother wasn't a whore, she was just quick to fall in love and went in to relationships like a lovesick puppy.Hetalia x Reader - IHaW Ch 24 years ago in Romance More Like This
"Now, __________, don't speak about this like that. Antonio is a wonderful boy." She crossed her arms and you sighed, shaking your head.
"I'm sure he is, Mother, but I'm starting to resent all of these 'surprises'." You looked up again to study your so called new brother again. His face looked hurt and a frown replaced his energetic smile. You felt bad, but you just couldn't deal with this. He started to look nervous a
PrussiaxReader - IHaW Ch. 9Gilbert's grip on you tightened when the red headed teenager stepped forward, crossing his arms.PrussiaxReader - IHaW Ch. 94 years ago in Romance More Like This
"I see you found her. Figures she'd already be with another guy." He sneered. Julia and Austin glared at him, creating a blockade around you.
"Why did you even try to find us, Marc?" Julia hissed out.
"Who is this, _______?" Francis questioned, standing up. You turned to see Maddie standing with him, along with the rest of the group.
"I'm her ex boyfriend, Marc Gonzales." Michael grinned, moving his hair out of his face. You smirked and leaned in to Gilbert.
"Why are you here?" You spat out, afraid of the answer. He had hurt you too many times, in so many different ways. He would not ruin your life. Not this time. Not when everything was finally going right.
"My mom heard of this school due to these two going around raising money to visit you. So now she wants me to check it out for a month. But there's no way I'm going to stay here longer than that with you around!" Marc grunted out, spitt
APH - Romeo and Juliet - A1S2Act 1 Scene 2APH - Romeo and Juliet - A1S25 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Later in the afternoon, in the Romance Castle
"I'll be done soon. You'll look splendid, milady."
Felicia let herself being manipulated by her nurses and her assistants through endless sessions of washing, pampering and adjusting whatever that wasn't perfect. She just couldn't understand how other women are supposed to feel comfortable with all the time wasted to look perfect. She's been sitting here so long that her whole body is starting to ache.
She stared at her reflection in the mirror while Elizaveta was arranging her hair with valuable jewellery and radiant flowers: she was wearing a soft coral red gown decorated with the finest white laces and the royal scarlet stone brooch. It is said that it was inspired by her late mother's favourite dress; Felicia and the queen did look very alike after all. Her hair, after her hours of complains, was left down but is still getting constantly fixed by her nurse. Although her heavy outfit, beca
PrussiaxReader - IHaW Ch. 5After the paddle boats, the four of you thought of what to do next. Francis seemed to come up with an idea and grabbed your hand, running off to wherever. You looked back to see Gilbert and Antonio running after you.PrussiaxReader - IHaW Ch. 54 years ago in Romance More Like This
"F-Francis! Where are we going?" You asked, still being dragged behind him. He looked back for a second a grinned, his eyes sparkling.
Almost afraid, you reluctantly continued to follow him.
"We're here, mon ami!" He announced, releasing your hand and resting his own on his hips.
"Y'know, you could have just told me that you wanted ice cream instead of running off with me " You sighed, placing your hands in your pockets. The Frenchman next to you pouted.
"What fun would that be, mon cher?" He said in a sing-song voice.
"It would have saved Gilbert and Antonio from thinking that you were kidnapping me." You laughed. Rocking on your heels, your brother and Gilbert finally caught up with you and were relieved that Francis wasn't running anymore.
"Scheiße! Warn us ne
PrussiaxReader - IHaW Ch. 7The next day you woke up to see Maddie on her bed, typing on her laptop. You moved the hair out of your face and sat up, smiling at the Canadian.PrussiaxReader - IHaW Ch. 74 years ago in Romance More Like This
"Morning, Maddie!" You said cheerfully, moving to get your uniform out to prepare for a shower. You woke up just in time. It was 7:30, so you had about an hour before breakfast. At least you wouldn't have to rush.
The quiet blonde looked up and smile."Good morning, ________. Did you sleep well?"
"Yep, I did. What about you?"
"It was fine, thank you." You smiled politely and stretched.
"So, um, _______ "
"Um w-what do you think about G-Gilbert?" The blonde across from her looked away from you, a small blush on her cheeks. You felt your face go red and laughed nervously.
"W-What do you mean?" You sat down on your bed and watched your friend curiously.
"U-Uh well, he kinda asked me t-to find out w-what your opinion of h-him is " You felt bad for the position that the Prussian had put poor Maddie in and stood up,
HetaOni: The Story Continues 14Italy smiled. At last he had the key! Now everything would be wonderful! He could escape from this horrible mansion and go back home! Tears of joy filled his eyes. Or perhaps tears of sadness, but he couldn't imagine what he had to be sad about.HetaOni: The Story Continues 144 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
He took the stairs two at a time, hurrying to the front door. At last, he could escape. He had just fitted the key into the lock when an unfamiliar voice spoke from behind him.
"Wake up," it whispered.
Italy spun around, but there was no one there. Of course, he had come to this place alone, but for some reason, he was still certain that someone should be there with him. Who had spoken?
He decided to worry about it later, when he was free. He turned back to the door and began to turn the key.
"Ich liebe dich, Italia."
There it was again. That voice. Hearing it again, the voice sounded so familiar. It sounded like
"Germany!" Italy whispered.
Of course! How could he have forgotten Germany? And Japan! And France! And China! And all th
Spain x Reader .:The Only Exception:. Part 3Spain x Reader .:The Only Exception:. Part 33 years ago in Romance More Like This
You didn't know what time it was when you woke up, but the early morning sunlight streamed through the windows when you sat up from your comfy bed.
With a yawn and a stretch, you stood up. Last night was blurry, proving just how exhausted you were. But, you could remember Spain's handsome face and how amazed you were at the sight of his beautiful home.
You felt your stomach growl and you placed your hand on it uncomfortably. When was the last time I ate...? Or took a shower, for that matter?
You didn't dare look in a mirror. You didn't think your eyes could take such a horrendous picture.
Opening up some drawers in your room, you find several filled with fresh clothes that you don't remember being there the night before. A tingling feeling shot up your spine at the thought of Spain being in your room while you were sleeping, then you remembered he mentioned a woman living with him. That made you feel a bit better, at least.
After taking a shower, getting dressed and making you
HetaOni: The Story Continues 18Spain noticed that Germany was looking weaker and weaker with every step. His face was set with determination, but it was too stiff, too obviously in pain. Romano marched along in the front of the small group, stubbornly refusing to look back. Which left only to Spain to point out the obvious.HetaOni: The Story Continues 184 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
"Germany needs a break."
"I'm fine," Germany insisted.
Romano finally turned around.
"You're not fine, you stupid potato bastard!" he declared after one look at Germany's face. "You can't just try to hide it! That's what my brother did and look what happened to him!"
"I'm not Italy," Germany said.
"No, but that doesn't mean you don't need help," Spain pointed out. "We're human here. Only human."
"I guess I could take a short break," Germany admitted. "But not for too long. I want to get back to the hideout, where it's safe."
"Of course," Spain agreed.
"There's a room with a bed here," Romano observed, peeking inside the nearest door. "It looks safe enough."
"Then let's take a break and give Germa
Pirate!PrussiaxReader: Captain AwesomeYou glanced uninterestedly at the crown prince of Austria. He was way too high and mighty for your tastes, with his carefully groomed wavy dark brown hair that sported a large cowlick and cold violet eyes. A pair of wire-rimmed glasses sat on his long, straight nose. His name was Roderich Edelstein, and you felt absolutely nothing for him. Unfortunately, your mother, who happened to be the Queen of (Country) wanted you two wed.Pirate!PrussiaxReader: Captain Awesome3 years ago in Romance More Like This
Roderich's father, the King of Austria, also supported this marriage, claiming it would be good for both nations.
Roderich himself didn't care for anything except classical music and cake. You were certainly not exempt from this.
You didn't dislike the man, but he simply wasn't husband material for you. You wanted someone friendlier, more open, and who would show their emotions. Someone similar to your Prussian childhood friend and first love, Gilbert Beilschmidt. He had always insisted that you called him 'Gil'.
The two of you had grown up together, and
HetaOni: The Story Continues 7Disclaimer: No, I have not magically gained ownership of Hetalia or HetaOni since last chapter.HetaOni: The Story Continues 74 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
"Mr. Lithuania?" Liechtenstein ventured.
She felt slightly more comfortable talking to him. Poland was weird.
"What is it?" Lithuania asked.
"I think there are some people over there," she said, pointing to a group of moving shapes in the distance.
"I think you're right," Lithuania observed. "Austria, I think. And it looks like he has Korea and your brother with him. But who are those other two people?"
"Maybe it's, like, Latvia and Estonia?" Poland guessed.
"Maybe," Lithuania agreed. "Let's go find out."
He and Poland ran towards the figures, and Liechtenstein hurried to catch up. As they neared the group, it became clear that the two extra people were in fact Latvia and Estonia.
"Like, where've you guys been?" Poland asked. "We were looking everywhere for you!"
"Where were you?" Estonia retorted. "You sai
HetaOni: The Story Continues 15"But I know something important!" Sealand insisted.HetaOni: The Story Continues 154 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
"What do you know?" Hungary asked. "What's so important?"
"It's Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Norway, and Iceland," Sealand told the group. "They're here too! And they're looking for you!"
"Well, now they're lost here, too," Switzerland muttered. "Can't someone contact the outside? We need to stop any more nations from coming here. This place is a deathtrap."
"I don't think that would work," Korea pointed out.
"For one thing, those monsters are blocking contact with anyone outside the mansion's grounds," Estonia pointed out.
"For another, everyone would come anyways, even if you did tell them to stay away," Latvia pointed out. "We nations stick together."
"I still wish we could contact the ones on the outside," Austria remarked. "We could ask them to bring some more weapons and supplies."
"How come you're not with the Nordics?" Hungary suddenly asked Sealand.
"I'm not really supposed to be here," Sealand admitted. "They told me to stay ho
China x ReaderToday is the first day of you making them fall in love. The first for today is china. You have learned few things about him. Like he is the oldest country, loves pandas, and some what looks like a girl.China x Reader3 years ago in Romance More Like This
"How I am going to make him fall for me" you thought
You started to walk around so you could find him. As you walked you thought of plans for this.
You were knocked out of your thought when you felt someone garb your hand. Then you notice you almost fell in a river. The person pulled you, and then you notice it was him.
"That was close was it" he asked
"Yes that was. Do you know where I am at" you asked
"You're at Zhouzhuang" he replied
"Zhouzhuang how did I get here you said
"You don't know how you got here, are you lost" he said
"I guess I am lost" you said
"Do you need help finding your way" he asked
"I would but I don't know where I'm going" you replied
"Then how about I show you around" he asked
"I would love that" you replied
The both of you walked around the town. This town seem
Changing with Age - TGNell sniffed, yanking her finger away from the groin. The underwear felt damp, from what she hoped was sweat; panties, that her mother had given her. She could still remember when they wouldn't have fit, instead of being necessary. She touched her groin again, yanking the finger back as soon as it met the crevice's outline. Nothing else there.Changing with Age - TG5 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
The sound of footsteps made her jerk around, brown strands of hair stinging her eyes as she spun, another string of tears falling down her cheek. The figure pressed a cloth against her face before she could speak, delicate silk whipping away the tears before they had a chance to drip. It stayed there when she cried harder, soaking them up as her chest heave; the bra hurt. She hated it. She hated having it squash against her breasts, hated the constant reminder that she had breasts, hated the even greater reminder she got when they swung because she wasn't wearing a bra at all. She was wearing a blouse and skirt because her clothes wouldn't stay o
APH: Prussian FairytaleOnce upon a time, a village near the sea was burned to the ground by an advancing army. The few survivors of this raid made for the mountains in the north and the oceans to the west. None dared to go east, as that was the direction from which their persecutors came, and none went to the forests of the south, as they were holy and forbidden. Bloodied by the swords of the cavalry and seared by their torches, however, three reckless young men sought shelter beneath the blessed branches.APH: Prussian Fairytale4 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
They traveled aimlessly in the forest for four days and four nights, nursing their wounds and catching naïve prey with furtive hands. On the fifth day, they were tracking rabbits in the underbrush when the trail led them to the remains of a crumbled cairn. The youngest man, seeking respite from an afternoon of poor hunting, convinced the other two to pause and help him rebuild it.
As they replaced the last stone on the mound, the ghost of an old priest appeared from behind the rocks and spoke to them.
HetaOni: The Story Continues 8"Canada, are you okay?" America asked. "You've been acting kind of weird ever since you got back."HetaOni: The Story Continues 84 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
"I'm fine," Canada insisted, but America noticed that he still clung to his bear like a lifeline.
"Listen. If someone's threatening you-" America began.
"No one is threatening me," Canada interrupted. "I'm fine. Completely, totally fine. Stop asking me."
"I have a right to be worried about my brother," America replied.
"Stop worrying," Canada told him. "I'm completely fine. I'm just tired."
It was obvious that Canada was lying, but it was also clear that he wasn't going to tell anyone anything. They had all tried to get something out of him, but his lips remained sealed.
"Go take a nap," America suggested. "That's what half of us are doing anyways. I mean, it's not like there's much else we can do without Italy. He's the one who really knows what's going on around here."
"Yeah, I'll go do that," Canada agreed.
As if in a trance, he walked over to the bed and flopped down. But he kept his
HetaOni: The Story Continues 10"Canada!" Italy screamed in horror as the nearly invisible nation rushed in to take a blow meant for America.HetaOni: The Story Continues 104 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Italy had come into the room only seconds too late. Just late enough that he couldn't stop Canada from sacrificing himself. Holy Rome hurried to finish off the creature, but Italy couldn't tear his eyes away from the North American brothers.
"Canada?" America gasped, dropping to his knees beside his brother. "Why'd you go and do that? It was aiming for me!"
Canada smiled, even as he was coughing up blood.
"You're my brother," he said. "I'll protect you, America."
"But, I'm the hero," America tried to argue. "I should be protecting you!"
"You're an idiot," Canada told him. "Even heroes need protection sometimes, right? You have to protect the others. Promise me, you'll protect them."
"I swear it," America whispered. "Please, don't die on me."
"I just need to rest " Canada whispered as his eyelids slowly fell.
"Canada!" America screamed. "CANADA!"
Italy buried his face
HetaOni: The Story Continues 16"This way," Austria insisted, leading them further into the confusing maze.HetaOni: The Story Continues 164 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
"Admit it, you're lost," Switzerland whined. "Let me lead the way."
"I know exactly where I'm going," Austria told him. "Just let me get there."
Korea met Estonia's gaze and rolled his eyes. The bespectacled nation nodded his agreement with the sentiment.
"Darling, you know I have faith in you, but you aren't exactly the best at directions," Hungary remarked. "It's been hours."
"We're almost there, I'm sure of it," Austria replied. "Just a bit farther this way."
They continued walking in silence.
It was Sealand who heard it first.
"It sounds like there's something up ahead!" he exclaimed gleefully.
Now that Sealand had mentioned it, Korea could hear it too. The low hum of the creature, and war cries that he suspected belonged to Denmark. He found himself staring at Austria. Was it possible that his sense of direction was so bad that it wasn't affected by the constantly changing landscape?
"Come on, let's go!" S
HetaOni: The Story Continues 12"Can I ask you a question?" Italy ventured.HetaOni: The Story Continues 124 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
Holy Rome stopped walking and turned to look back at him.
"What is it, Italy?" he asked.
"What about Spain and Romano?" he wondered. "Are they okay? We don't know when we need to save them. Shouldn't we try to find them?"
"What are you talking about?" Holy Rome asked. "Spain and Romano? They never came here. We just need to go find Prussia and save him. Then we can get out of here."
Italy tried to think about this. His head was so jumbled up. He wasn't sure what was real anymore. He thought Spain and Romano had come, but maybe that was just a mistake. Maybe they had come some other time. Or had Italy himself even come here before? He must have. He remembered going through this before. He knew when he had to save Prussia, but something seemed off about his memories. Like there was something missing.
"Italy, just focus on finding Prussia, okay?"
Holy Rome seemed to know what was happening, so Italy decided to listen to him. He could try t