L5R Lightbulb JokesQ: How many Scorpion does it take to change a lantern wick?L5R Lightbulb Jokes10 years ago in Humor More Like This
A: None, for we walk the dark places of the Empire. We like the dark...wait no, arrgh, Ninjas everywhere, someone give me a wick quickly......noooooo!
Q: How many Dragon does it take to change a lantern wick?
A: See the lady smiles upon us. Watch the snows like lizards. Do you not understand?
Q: How many Phoenix does it take to change a lantern wick?
A: None. We asked Isawa Tsuke to light the last one we changed, and blam, he burns up half the clan while doing so. We're happy with our candle.
Q: How many Unicorn does it take to change a lantern wick?
Unicorn: I can't reach the lantern on my horse.
Me: Get off your horse for once.
Unicorn: Get off my horse? That's impossible...wait a sec! LEGS! I have my own legs!!! I've never used them before! Wow. I'll change that wick.
Q: How many of Toturi's army does take to change a lantern wick?
A: 17 Ronin scum stand around looking at it. Any of them could do it. They're waiting
Unrequited LoveI stare at him. All the time. Even when i should be listening to my teachers. (Oh, and there must be a god, since he is in almost all of my classes.) I've been in trouble because of it; making myself look like a fool in front of him. Damn! I can't seem to do anything right.Unrequited Love8 years ago in Humor More Like This
I mean, just saying his puts a sweet taste in my mouth. Julius. First time I heard that name, something came up inside of me. A certain, je ne sais quois. Whatever it is, it makes me smile.
We've known each other for years now. Correction: I've known him. I'm not sure if he's aware of my existence. Though, one time he was handing out papers for a teacher, and he gave me the right one. Granted, I do think he asked someone for help. Sigh.
Anyways, back to happy things. It seems like fate has smiled upon me, because it's senior year, and I see him basically all day every day. Who knows? Maybe our fleeting eye contact will transgre
The NnaiThe Nnai2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
THIS IS INSPIRED IN ABOMINATION BY PUKEY82 THANK YOU
The Nnai. The original version is in spanish (here), so if you see some wrong phrases PLEASE TELL ME.
Called by some people "Abominations" or "The Beautiful Ones", the Nnai 1 is a race that arouses a sympathetic repugnance to all who know them.
Although for ages it was believed that they were a strange kind of Illithid (for their excellent treatment towards those races), the latest events 2 that occurred in Milegu suggest that the Nnai are a kind of powerful being known as "dem nutkiae" [listen]. The dem nutkiae are a strange group of species of which barely anything is known, but they are ext
a fairy tale for the morbidThere was a young girla fairy tale for the morbid9 years ago in Ballad More Like This
who grabbed on to a squirel
and propmpty fell down a well
when she hit the ground
she looked around
and wondered if she was in hell
to her great surprise
and the squirels sad demise
t'was a black cat that answerd
he ate up the squirel
smiled at the girl
said"nope" and burst into laughter
but then the cats eyes
buldged open wide
and he starteds to heave
see the squirel inside
hants quite died
and he was really quite peeved
that cat started to hurl
and out came that squirel
fur all stick and wet
the cat was quite shocked
the squirel was pissed off
and he had revenge still to get
they started to fight
it was quite a sight
and the girl laughed in sickly amusment
but befor heads were lost
she quickly yelled "stop!"
she grabed both of them and when
"now how in all hell
do we get out of this well?"
the young girl asked with a sigh
"i havnt a clue"
"dont know what to do"
so they sat down there till they died
so now my friend
this tale reaches its end
and we must find the
How I hate her......How I hate her......10 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
How I hate her
more than dried up lipstick, spam trying to sell.
than the bitter taste of milk gone to hell
you want me to feel well
And then you tell tell
"don't worry about her trace on my cock
and her blood on my heart
we are no more, and broken appart"
How I hate her
more than dolls prettier than mine.
than papercuts, maggots and people feelin "fine"
you tell me it's over
done and bye
but I still see her in your eye eye
it's such a lie lie
How I Hate Her
More than sickness in a wound, kids gone mad.
than the worst past memory I've ever had
you tell me she is dead
eaten and decomposed, less than dust
so..no more flirt flirt
only playing with dirty dirt
underneath her skirt
How I hate myself
More than all the girls you ever slept with.
than roadkills, wasps on icecream and pants I can't fit
you tell me you love me...alot..
almost as much as you loved her
everything I say
to feel this way
Jet-BlackJet-Black3 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
It was just another one of those days. Playing Black, shiny hunting. My target? Yamask. You might still know it as Desumasu. I'd moved on from getting one in White to hopelessly try for a shiny Victini, only to find out Victini was programmed to never be shiny unless you cheat. Now I had returned to Ancient Castle in Black to try once more. I had been roleplaying and doing a collab comic with Shadowtheshekirby here on deviantART--Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Requiem of the Shadow Colossus. In it, my character, Jupiter, was a shiny Yamask, so I wanted a female one to mirror her incarnation in the comic. I was using KAITO, my male Minccino with Cute Charm, to help raise the chances of finding female Pokémon.
Still early in the morning, I was playing and listening to the radio, when finally, I saw that night-sky blue Yamask, sadly male, but still shiny! It was...different, though. He had two little p
Music Is YouMusic Is You3 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Music is the melody for feelings
The symphony for secrets
The lyrics for love
Music is the way your eyes shine,
the way your lips touch mine,
your voice harmonizing over time
You're all that I think about
And all that I dream about
How did I ever live without
your beautiful eyes?
They're my demise
With the music running through me
I have to go to you and just be
Baby, be my melody<3
In Oz: The Perfect AssIn Oz: The Perfect Ass3 years ago in Reviews & Guides More Like This
In Oz: The Perfect Ass
* An escalation by Beau Cyphre *
The perfect body goes with the perfect ass, and although she doesn't show too much in that picture, I must always think of dreaming down her spine and kissing up her neck. She's a hell of a girl, and just for a second I'd like to change places with you, get your camera to shoot that single picture that reveals everything... and nothing at all. Yes, I would fail, 'cause you did the perfect picture: By concentrating on her back and the shadow play on her skin you light my fire, and watching her sensuous lips I imagine stories only real sirens can tell.
Japanese Name MeaningsJapanese Name Meanings8 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
Genki- energy, healthy, happy, energetic
AI (1) f Japanese
Means "love" in Japanese.
AIKO f Japanese
Means "love child" in Japanese.
AIMI f Japanese
Means "love beauty" in Japanese.
AKANE f Japanese
Means "brilliant red" in Japanese.
AKEMI f Japanese
Means "bright and beautiful" in Japanese.
AKI m & f Japanese
Means either "autumn" or "bright" in Japanese.
AKIKO f Japanese
Means either "autumn child" or "bright child" in Japanese.
AKIO m Japanese
Means "bright boy" in Japanese.
AKIRA m Japanese
The DragongodThe DragongodThe Dragongod6 years ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
There was an army,
Now there are human torches.
There was a city,
Now there are ruins.
There was a kingdom,
Now there are fire and flames.
There was a demon,
Now hes gone for good.
There were legions of the undead,
Now there is only dust.
There was a knight for valour,
A while ago I had my dinner.
There was a mage,
Dead, like he is from now on.
There were assassins,
Their poisonous daggers dont exist anymore.
There was a dragon of chaos,
He fled quite soon.
There was a wannabe-Knox,
Where can you see even his bones anymore?
There was an angel,
I can still feel her tasty blood.
There was a group of heroes,
Now theyre only cowards.
There was a world,
Its in flames forevermore.
There was a god,
Now hes ashes.
The True Dragongod-
Sweden for meAllemansrättenSweden for me4 years ago in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
I skogar, berg och dalar
Om älvor, troll och vittra
Av åkerbär, blåbär och lingon
På mossan i hans famn
Genom stadens infrastruktur
Till radions nyaste ballad
För du har makt att förändra
Som samhället vill
Lovely CyanideMy dear, you're my cyanideLovely Cyanide7 years ago in Free Verse More Like This
Sweetly, sweetly suicide
You draw close, I taste your lips
Shoulders touching, hips to hips
Injection from the mouth to mouth
Spreads so fast whilst going south
Poison pulsing in my veins
Somehow causes me no pain
Colors dancing in my eyes
Poision acting, no surprise
Slowly then, I fall to floor
Twitch a little, then no more
Xaldin's RevengeXaldin's RevengeXaldin's Revenge7 years ago in General Non-Fiction More Like This
Despite appearances, this is not a fan-fiction. Instead, this is a truthful account of a rather ironic (and painful) series of events. These events are what led one of my friends (hereafter referred to as "L") and me to believe that Xaldin is not only real, but on a quest for vengeance against us. Read on with caution.
One fine spring day, L came to my house. She walked in the door, like any old visit, and I invited her to sit down in front of the television. This was because, for several hours, I had been struggling against what might have been the most difficult adversary ever encountered in my video-gaming career: Xaldin. Xaldin and his Magnificent Sideburns.
Admittedly, I was not the most talented gamer in the world. Admittedly, I was playing on "Easy". That was no excuse, however, for the show of complete and total ownage L delivered upon the head of my foe. She didn't complain. She didn't use Mickey. Instead, she beat him more quickly than I cou
I Never Knew, Reader Intermission 1Hey Guys! I made a little journal a few days ago, but I know some people don't read journals, so Intermission Time it is~!I Never Knew, Reader Intermission 12 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Also, I have some new stuff that I didn't put in the journal that I wanna put here
So my mind has been focused on this story about 24/7- I've even woken up in the middle of the night with ideas for it, and I am soooo tired xD but it's worth it because I really do love this story.
First off, I have some new characters coming in- most of them minor- and I need peoples OC's for them~ So, if you want your Oc, it doesn't have to be Hetalia, in the story, fill out this little thing:
Character I want them to be:
Fill that out and put it in the comments, and I'll pick the ones I want for the following roles:
Skipper on Toni's Ship:
This is the boy who you saw talk to Toni when Gilbert wanted to come over onto the ship in Chapter Four. It'll have to be a guy, and he becomes a *somewhat* major character.
Naruhina: Blue Angel Chapter 4 (READ CAPTION 1st )Naruhina: Blue Angel Chapter 4 (READ CAPTION 1st )1 year ago in Drama More Like This
After that day, Naruto became his usual self. He was comforted by my words. " Naruto wake
up! " I shouted as I pushed him off the chair. " Come here... " Naruto mumbled. He
stretched his arms and wrapped them around my waist. He pulled me close to him. " Be mine,
Hinata " Naruto whispered in my ear. My face turned bright red. That bastard! He is half
conscious! Jeez! Teasing me like that! " Dont say such things! " I screamed as I slapped
his cheek. Naruto screamed. He quickly got up and pointed at me. " What was that for!! "
He yelled. " Hmmph " I said as I looked away. We got dressed and headed out. It was a
beautiful day. The cherry blossoms in full bloom. The calm breeze gently brushing my face.
" Today is going to be great. " I smiled. " Nahh, School is never great " Naruto moaned.
I hit him with my bag and walked faster with my head held high. " Oww " Naruto mumbled. "
Hey! Wait for me! " He shouted and smiled. He ran by my side. We finally
APH- Rivalita Chapter 6Arthur awoke the next morning in Feliciano's bed, blinking as the sun shone into his eyes.APH- Rivalita Chapter 63 years ago in Sketches More Like This
"Morning, Italy " he mumbled, looking where the Italian had lay the night before, only to see that he was not there. The blonde sighed, "Looks like he's already up." Placing his hand on his friend's spot on the bed, he found that he could still feel Feliciano's warmth from it; A sure-fire sign that he had not been up too long.
Yawning, the Brit pulled the thick blankets off himself and stood up. As he headed for the door, he noticed in the mirror that he wasn't wearing anything, aside from the accursed German boxers.
"Funny " Arthur said to himself, "I could've sworn I'd slept with my clothes on last night Strange " he grabbed an old T-shirt off the floor and headed for the bathroom
_ _ _
Arthur enjoyed the feeling of the warm shower water beating off his skin, soaking his hair and washing away all his feelings of grogginess. As he washed himself, he tried to recall the
TurkeyxReader: Playing Hooky -Pt 3- "How long has this been going on for Cyprus?"TurkeyxReader: Playing Hooky -Pt 3-2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
He sighed softly,"About 45 minutes."
Yes, Greece had come over to snatch you back from Turkey. But neither took into consideration how you felt. "I need to break this up, don't I?" The young nation nodded.
Sighing, you stood yourself up form the couch and took a deep breath before yelling,"Both of you STOP!!!" Both nations turned their heads and looked at you. "Look...Greece...it's not that I don't like you...it's just...I-I think I've fallen in love with Turkey and I much rather this than hurt you daily."
Turkey (who was gripping the collar of Greece's white shirt) pushed him away slightly,"Told you so..." You heard this and shot Turkey a darkish look. "Well I did!"
Greece took a few steps closer to you, trying to reason,"C-common ___________...Come home with me." His green eyes held a bit of hurt and confusion. "W-why do you want to be with...with...him." His glare shot daggers towar
The sad, sad tale of HerobrineThe sad tale of HerobrineThe sad, sad tale of Herobrine2 years ago in Short Stories More Like This
Herobrine, exploring the caves and valleys of minecraftia gathering his treasures and minerals.
He came across a whole in the bedrock, he turned to walk away but fate had other ideas.
Herobrine fell, he fell and fell and fell.
Herobrine fell through the eternal loneliness and emptiness of the void.
As he fell he tried to keep view of the world above, but it quickly left his field of sight.
For years poor Herobrine fell, his tools and possessions had long since lost all entertainment value.
Herobrine's mind was in ruins, barely even insane at this point, driven beyond to a state of demented silence.
Never moving, never sleeping, never blinking. He fell.
Then after many years he finally landed, or rather crash to the ground with such force it shattered every bone in his body.
He stood up after 1 minute, as good as he had been before he hit the ground.
He tried to look around only to find his eyes unable to penetrate the darkness.
He reached up to see what had hi
The Day Gilbird Became Human 3Gilbird started to get tired waiting for Gilbert to finish his meeting so he went to sleep. When he woke up, he could still hear Gilbert and his 'friends' talking. The amber eyed boy sighed and decided to take a look around the albino's room. He looked at the pictures hanging up. He saw a bunch of pictures of Gilbert and his friends, but some of them, he didn't recognize some of the people. He found one of Gilbert, Ludwig, himself, and someone he didn't know. Her hair was tied up and a couple strands dangling on either side of her face. Her eyes were icy blue, and she was wearing fluffy boots and a fluffy coat. 'Who is she?' he thought.The Day Gilbird Became Human 33 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
In the other room Gilbird heard someone call his human name. "Fulberto! Get your awesome self in here! Jetzt!" The blond thought about it. 'He probably means now ' Gilbird thought, and ran out of the room, into the living room. "Yes Gilbert?" He'd put his hands behind his back rocking back and forth as he spoke. "You wanna come to the world confere
GermanyxReader - Pen Pals - Part 10You and Ludwig drove home with your new born baby girl. You decided to name her ___. Ludwig couldn't stop looking at you and your baby girl in the passenger seat; he was too distracted by you both. He was also extremely happy about the fact that he was going to be a daddy; an actual father to your guys' new baby. He smiled ear to ear, as well as you, trying to drive home as fast and safely as possible. Once you both arrived to the corner of the street you'd lived on, you could see over 10 cars parked around your one house. You knew right off the back who they were, and you could't wait to introduce the baby to the world; every country was there. You both walked up the few steps in front of the door, coos to each other; Ludwig grabbed the knob and slowly opened the door, and as you walked in, you could see everyone around the house, looking at you and the infant in your arms. They all ran up and said hi, giving you careful hugs and meeting the baby. First was Prussia and America.GermanyxReader - Pen Pals - Part 102 years ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This