Bullets and BloodIt has been a week after the vampire Incognito was defeated by Alucard. Integra has been released from the Tower and has returned to her position of power. With the return of Walter from the hospital the following day they hired a group of mercenaries known as the Wild Geese lead by Captain Pip Bernadette. Alucard had vanished after the battle so Seras became Hellsings pet monster. However due to the recent spike in vampire activity Sir Hellsing decided to hire an Occult Specialist.
Sir Integra weve located him One of the mercs said over the two-way. They along with Seras had pulled up to a flat in jeeps. The soldiers surrounded the building.
Good move in Integra said from the mansion. The soldiers smashed down the door and ran inside. There were beer cans scattered around the floor, cigarette pillars in ash trays, books new and old thrown about and in boxes.
Jesus this place is a pigsty
Lets find him and get out o
Hellsing High Chp 1The Hellsing Royal Academy was a private international high school set on a island a few miles off England. The Academy was created to teach the best, brightest, or richest students in the world. Founded in the 1800s by Abraham van Hellsing it has been maintained by the Hellsing family for generations the last being Sir Arthur Hellsing, he was replaced by his brother Richard.Hellsing High Chp 16 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Alright everyone let us take attendance said history teacher Professor Islands.
Miss Seras Victoria
Here! Seras Victoria was a blonde well endowed shy girl, while she was somewhat clumsy she made up for it on all three clay pigeon shooting with her gun, Harkonnen.
Mr. Enrico Maxwell
Here! Enrico Maxwell was a self absorbed bible pushing Catholic. He saw everyone else as sinners except for a few who helped him create Iscariot.
Miss Ripley van Winkle
Here! Rip van Winkle or just Rip for short was a somewhat hyper girl with a ta
Hellsing High Ch. 4The next day in Military History class Professor Montana Max was given his I love war speech for the third time this week. The students didnt mind cause it took up about six and a half minutes of class.Hellsing High Ch. 46 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
And now class we will be discussing the Battle of Stalingrad in which-
In which the Russians kicked your fat ass!! someone interrupted which caused the Professor to give a small chuckle.
I was wondering if you were here today Miss Zinaida
Zinaida Sickletooth was a Russian nationalist her grandmother served in WWII fighting against the Nazis. This lead to her granddaughter having an extreme dislike of Professor Max since his father Major Montana Max I was a member of the SS. Zinaida stared at the Professor with her yellow eyes brushing a strand of her black hair aside.
Miss Zinaida as you and I both know the war ended decades ago cant we bury the hatchet?
Bite me, you son of a Nazi!
Girl you are beg
Hellsing High Ch. 3At the Iscariot headquarters Professor Renaldo, head of religious studies, was leading the club in the opening prayer.Hellsing High Ch. 36 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
and deliver us from evil. Amen. Alright now does anybody have any new business?
I saved a young girl from some attackers Yumie said
Excellent Yumie, but you didnt go overboard again did you?
Professor Renaldo sighed while he rubbed his temples Never mind. Anyway I have to go to a meeting today so converse amongst yourselves until the bell rings Renaldo packed up his things and left the room.
Anderson turned around to face Maxwell Hey Enrico when are you gonna return my Passion of the Christ DVD?
As soon as you return my Ten Commandments DVD
As soon as you return my autographed picture of Pope Benedict XVI
As soon as you return my autographed picture of Pope John Paul II
This went on for awhile. Meanwhile Yumie and Heinkel sighed
Hellsing High Ch. 2A series of soft laughs surrounded Alucard for the rest of class. When the bell rang he thanked God he had to stay for Professor Islands. After the usual youll never succeed in life unless you apply yourself speech Alucard walked out of the room. The hallways were bustling with students interacting with each other and trying to get to their next class. Alucard met up with Walter in the hall.Hellsing High Ch. 26 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
So that was a surprising class wouldnt ya say Al? Walter snickered
Shut up! Alucard glared at him
So what the old man say?
The usual bull
So whats the damage this time?
Hes sending me to the headmasters office after school
Rough. Anyways about your sister.
Yeah what about her?
Shes pretty cute
Dont even fucking think about it
Walter laughed then remained silent as they made their way outside. Once there Walter pulled out a pack
Hellsing High Ch. 6James was sitting down on a bench outside of school going through his contacts to see who was available for the Lordi concert tonight. Suddenly someone covered his eyes. Guess who Rip said smirkingHellsing High Ch. 66 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
I give is it my girlfriend who threatens to kill me if I even look at another girl
Rip smacked the back of his head playfully Very funny. Anyways what are you doing?
Well Schro and Hans cancelled so Im calling everyone to see if theyre busy. So far everyone is
What about the Valentine Brothers?
When I invite them to things like this people get hurt, things get destroyed, and I get sued
Well why not Walter hes a Lordi fan
Yeah hell do and I know the person hell pick to go with him
Later James walked up to Walter and told him his idea
No way Al would kill me. You ever see Scarface
Of course but what has that got to do with- Ohhh
See what I
Hellsing High Ch. 9Bloody effing `ell! James shouted after reading the paper Again thats twice within the same week! Same MO Liston knife shoved up the well you lot know what Im talking about.Hellsing High Ch. 96 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
James youre speaking with a cockney accent again Rip said
Well you know I talk like this when I get upset. Now the bobbies are coming `ere Rip slapped him across the face Thank you
So hows Schro?
The same a stiff catboy shaped coat rack Rip smacked the back of his head
Be nice. Also remember were having dinner with my parents tonight James was quiet then got up Where you going
Oh Im going to go shoot myself in the head he said walking off, but Rip grabbed his collar entering her psycho form.On second thought Id love to have dinner with your parents
In the gym the band Demons Angel were finishing up their rehearsal.
Great work everyon
Hellsing High Ch. 11Alright so let me get this straight youre not stealing Schro from me? Gaard askedHellsing High Ch. 116 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
For the last time no! God me and him are just friends he just acts that way because hes a flirt, more so with guys than girls James said changing the bandage on his nose. And wheres the money for my glasses?!
Is a check alright?
Cash only. Suddenly Rose ran into the room What the?!
James come quick Alucard and Anderson are fighting!!
Big deal they do that every week
But not this bad!
James sighed Fine Ill go he got up and called Hans. When he got there Alucard and Anderson were beating each other bloody. Alucard punch Anderson in the face while Anderson punched him in the gut.
This is great please tell me someone is recording this?! James said
On it! Schro said holding a video camera
Integra then got in the middle Will you two stop ac
Hellsing High Ch 18Alright so how does this one look Integra asked wearing a red dress.Hellsing High Ch 185 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Um not your color Seras said, Rip nodded. Integra sighed then went back into the changing room and picked another outfit.
How long have we been doing this? Rip asked
About an hour now Seras sighed
You think the boys are having this much trouble? Integra asked
Must be Seras said
God dammit! Alucard swore as James KOd him with M. Bisons Psycho Destroyer
I win again James smirked as Pip took over Alucards controller.
I cant believe Im saying this but, shouldnt we be looking for a suit for me Alucard said
Just wear that tux with the weird tie, you look good in that Pip said
Yeah. So anyways since youre going out with Integra you should remember to treat her right because shell kick your arse if you dont James said wasting Pip with the Ragi
Hellsing High Ch 20...The fight between James and Rip became known as the Breakup Crisis. Rip spent most of her time in her room playing visual novels on her computer, she really cared less for her appearance so she wore grey sweatpants and sweatshirt and let her hair become messy. James on the other hand spent more time smoking and playing games onlineHellsing High Ch 20...5 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Fucking Dawrf! James shouted as his Blood Elf mage was killed by an alliance player Where was my backup MagicFloss and NoLifeKing? Hmm?! he shouted through TeamSpeak
Hey were trying RuleBritannia! Walter said before his Undead Rogue was killed Fuck!
Thanks a lot guys! Alucard shouted as his Orc Elf Death Knight was finally killed
Where the hell was Hans?! James said as the three of them appeared in the graveyard.
Here he is Walter said as Hans Tauren Druid, HerrWolfenstein appeared
You guys are mad arent you? His avatar shrugged as he gave a
Hellsing High Ch 19Alucard and the rest of the smokers were on their way to their usual spot.Hellsing High Ch 195 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Hey who the fuck is that Jan said pointing to a girl standing in their spot smoking. She was around the same height as them with brown eyes and short black hair wearing red and black striped fingerless gloves holding a cig in between her index and middle finger she was also wearing the boys school uniform like Heinkel did. She was looking down as she put the cig to her lips and took another drag from it.
She looked over at the boys and noticed Jan Hey pincushion face what the hell you staring at?
Oh bitch you better not be talking to me! Jan shouted walking up to her
You see anyone else with face that can be magnetized you ugly fuck?
Thats it! Jan swung at her. She dodged and her punched the stone wall FUCK! MY FUCKING HAND!!!! The girl brought her knee up hard into his gut sending him to the ground.
Hellsing High Ch. 15The next day there was a snowstorm. James and Rip were walking outside Ah Christmas is coming up my shopping is done and I have the day off. Life is go- A snowball smacked him dead in the faceHellsing High Ch. 156 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Heads up Schro laughed
You die now! James grabbed some snow and threw it at Schro, he ducked and the ball hit Professor Penwood in the head knocking him over
James did it! Schro ran off. James ran over and helped him up
Where am I?he said out of it Arthur is that you?
Sorry professor he said
Pip was trying to find a gift for Seras, Hans and Walter went with him to look for gifts for their girlfriends.
So are you and Al still fighting? Pip asked
Yeah that guy is as stubborn as a catholic Walter said lighting a cigarette.
Elsewhere some of the girls were looking for gifts as well.
So whats wrong with my brother again? Alicia asked Integra
Hellsing High Ch. 13Come on Scrho hurry up! James yelled Were gonna miss the party!Hellsing High Ch. 136 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Im coming! Schro said as he came out Well how do I look?
Good but Im pretty sure Axel never wore cat ears
Oh well there was a knock at the door. James answered it and there in the doorway stood Gaard dressed as Roxas. James just shook his head and slammed the door JAMES! Schro said angrily opening the door Sorry babe he said before kissing Gaard.
James stepped into the closet Lets see Sephiroth, Joker, Darth Maul, Tyrannus, Sidious, Vader, Death James called Rip Hi honey its me Im out of idea for the party Ohhh thats right we havent gone as them yet. Meet me in the lounge when youre ready
An hour later everyone was in the lounge waiting for the Halloween Costume Party to start. It had been a tradition at the academy to
Hellsing High Ch 17James sat down on a leather chair in the lounge with a hot cup of Earl Grey and his copy of Good Omens. He opened his book and began to bring his tea cup to his lips when Schrodinger ran inside crying causing James to spill the tea on his crotch. James made a face and let out a soft eepbefore screaming at the top of his lungs.Hellsing High Ch 175 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Half an hour later
Now then Mr. Pendragon it seems like youll be fine in a couple of days Dok said looking at his chart
Dok why are you the schools physician? Rip asked
James was laying in one of the beds with his groain region wrapped up Schro come here please he said with a high pitched voice. Rip and Hans laughed alittle but a sharp glare from James shut them up. Schro scuttled over to James looking down. James smiled and pet his head, Schro purred. Then James grabbed him by the neck WHY YOU LITTLE!!!
Dok, Rip, and Hans just stood there for a couple of minutes
Hellsing High Ch 21All was quiet at Hellsing High whenHellsing High Ch 214 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
"SCHRODINGER!!!!!!!!!!" James shouted
The catboy ran down the halls laughing as James chased him wearing only his bathrobe. The catboy thought it would be funny to dye James' hair pink, James thought otherwise.
"I HOPE YOU LIKE VIOLINS BECAUSE WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU I'LL TURN YOU INTO ONE!!!" James yelled
"You always say that pinky" Schro laughed
"I MEAN IT THIS TIME!" James shouted pouncing on the catboy and tackling him
"Guys, do you really have to start this early?" Walter complained walking out of his room as Schro and James ran past like a Road Runner cartoon.
Suddenly Schro felt a sudden pain in his shoulder and fell forward "HA got ya!" James said stopping as Hans walked up holding his airsoft Mauser C96 pistol "Nice shot Hans" James said before he was hit with Alucard's gas powered airsoft desert eagle. Hans looked at Alucard questionably.
"What?" Alucard shrugged
James walked back to his room dragging the catboy. He tied him to a c
Hellsing High Ch 22"I swear every other week there's a new student here. Why does the author keep adding more OC's to this fanfic!?" James said to himself as Dok introduced everyone to his daughter Schroden. She had short blone hair that covered her right eye and wore glasses.Hellsing High Ch 224 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
"Unfortunately the only available seat is next to Mr. Jan Valentine" Dok said pointing to where yawn was sleeping. She smiled and sped right up to the seat next to him.
After class James ran out back to his room and started to play his newest favorite video game Bayonetta. He had beaten the game on every difficulty twice, and continued to play. Rip walked in annoyed "Again James," she sighed "All you've been doing in your free time is play this stupid game"
James tuned her out as he killed a sub boss by shoving it into a press made from Bayonetta's hair. She growled and chucked one of the 360 controllers at him smacking him dead center in the face. She turned and stormed out. James sat up rubbing his face "What the hell
Hellsing High ch 24James grumbled as he woke up. He grabbed his head in pain then looked around, "Where the hell am I?" he muttered. He saw a sign that read "Welcome to Forks, Washington" he nodded then stole a car and drove it off a cliff.Hellsing High ch 244 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Alucard soon awoke and looked around, at first he thought he was still in the cottage. However Integra and the others weren't there. After looking around for a bit his realized that this wasn't the same cottage. Even his clothes were different; he was now wearing a blue long sleeve shirt and tan work pants. He went into what appeared to be the living room, there was a small fire going. He was still feeling a bit woozy so he sat down in a rocking chair. He surveyed the room from his seat. Above the fireplace was a mounted deer head.
"James would probably make a Bambi's mom joke if he saw that" he muttered to himself then suddenly something that sounded like a giggle came out of nowhere. He froze and sat there quietly expecting it to come again silence.
Hellsing High Ch 25((Yeah Hi everyone LD here seeing is how most of you are pissed that I haven't updated since I think april and that was just an April Fool's joke, which I am still surprised how many took it seriously. Anyways we're skipping over the magic brownies arc because frankly I can't settle on what to make Rip's drug trip, first I was gonna do a Phantom of the Opera parody then I thought about doing a Pulp Fiction parody anyways if I decide to complete the magic brownies arc I"ll let you know))Hellsing High Ch 253 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
"Ugh it feels like we've been gone for months" Rip said with her head pressed against the window as they drove back
"Agreed, and let us never speak of it again" James said pressing an ice pack to his head and one to his crotch
"Are you still up-" Walter started but was interrupted by James.
"NEVER speak of it AGAIN" James said
The group drove onto the ferry to take them back to the school. Walter got out to get the group drinks from the ferry's mini convenience store.
"I swear to Morrigan I will never e
Hellsing High Ch 23The next day the group went on a small vacation to clear their heads. The group consisted of Alucard, Integra, Walter, Alicia, Seras, Rip, Schro, James, and Hans. They went up to a cottage belonging to Integra's family. It was out in the middle of a forest and because of that James did not bring movies such as Evil Dead, Dead Snow, Sleep Away Camp, April Fool's Day, etc. for obvious reasons. Of course that didn't stop him from bringing a small crowbar. Once there they decided that the boys and girls would sleep in separate rooms.Hellsing High Ch 234 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
"Hey I have this strange feeling we forgot something?" James said. Back at the school Grell was tied to a chair and gagged and being forced to watch Twilight on a continuous loop.
"Nah guess not" he said
They spent the rest of the day relaxing mostly watching movies and talking. Hans brought his 360 and they played Left 4 Dead 2. Nightfall came and Hans and Walter went to get pizza.
"I'm hungry" Schro whined "I'm wasting away!
The Time Has Come...My friends it has been often said that I hate Twilight. My friends I hate Twilight. No, friends, I despise Twilight! I despise Edward, I despise Jacob, I despise Bella, Alice, the Volturi and all of the FUCKIN Twitard fans!The Time Has Come...4 years ago in Drama More Like This
My black heart longs for the days when vampires didn't call themselves "vegitarians" because they drank only animal blood, when they could transform into bats, wolves, mist, swarms of rats, insects, even demons! When they could be hard by crosses, silver, fire, holy water! When they turned to dust or at least died slowly in the sun! NOT FUCKIN SPARKLE!!!!!! When they were played by great actors like Gary Oldman, Sir Christopher Lee, Bela Lugosi not Cedric Diggory and some emotionless angsty chick! This series is a disgrace to the vampire name. We are the real fans we loved vampires before they became the "In thing"! The Twitards are nothing but posers! Cheap whores! Emo sluts who wouldn't know a good vampire if it literally bit them on the effin nec