A Naruto AlphabetA Naruto Alphabet.
A is for Asuma, the guy with the knives,
With his chain-smoking habit he endangers young lives.
B is for Byakugan, the whitest of eyes
It sees all directions and is never surprised.
C is for Choji, but dont call him fat,
He may be big boned, but he likes it like that.
D is for Danzo, the leader of Root
For things like emotion he wont give a hoot.
E is for Ebisu, the master of education
Closet perversion is his aberration
F is for Fandom, the Naruto obsessed
Im in that number, as you may have guessed
G is for Gaara, the Ninja of Sand,
The grains of the desert are his to command
H is for Hokage, the leader of the Leaf,
He died in the series, much to our grief
I is for Itachi, the Mangekyo user,
He fights little Sasuke, but he is the loser.
J is for Jiraiya, the pervy toad sage
In his pursuits of research, he wont act his age.
K is for Kakashi, coolest of all
His lone Sharingan will copy it all.
L is for Lee, who works really h
50 Ways to Piss Off Naruto1. Keep asking if hes a clone of the fourth (yeah, I know hes actually his son)50 Ways to Piss Off Naruto7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
2. Steal his Ramen
3. Destroy every place in Konoha that sells Ramen
4. Run up to him in front of a bunch of people and yell Naruto! You forgot to take your medicine this morning!
5. Ask what the hell the marks on his cheeks are
6. Show him an M rated SasuNaru doujinshi
7. Make copies and give them out to everyone
8. Tell Sasuke it was Narutos idea
9. Call him kitty
10. Call him Narutard or Nerduto
11. Give him a 5000 item list as to why Sasuke is better
12. Tell everyone that when he found out Sasuke wore underwear, Naruto stopped
13. Ask why he keeps pretending he didnt enjoy kissing Sasuke
14. Tell him Sasuke dreams about him at night
15. Tell him he has no chance with Sakura because hes not emo
16. Suggest he go for Sasuke instead
17. Tell him hes a loser because he lets SAKURA beat him up and shes the weakest ninja EVER
50 Ways to Piss Off Sasuke1. Tell him Itachi is the smex50 Ways to Piss Off Sasuke7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
2. Ask WHY his hair looks like a chickens ass
3. Ask if he thinks anyone really believes that its natural
4. Show him ItaSasu
5. Tape him destroying your computer because of it
6. Sue him for it
7. Do a REALLY crappy Sharingan imitation
8. Tell him the Uchiha symbol looks like a Pokemon ball
9. Tell him the Uchiha symbol looks like a ping pong paddle
10. Sing Sasuke and Naruto sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
11. If he protests, show him the episode where they DO kiss
12. Ask if hes sad because his brother is stronger, sexier, NICER, and all around better than he is
13. Whenever he walks into a room, play the Emo Kid song
14. Ask if he cuts himself under the bandages on his arm
15. If he shows you his arm, claim the only reason there arent cutting scars is because he uses genjutsu
16. Give his fangirls the key to his house
17. Spike all his food with Viagra
18. Tell him Sakuras pregnant with his baby
50 Ways to Piss Off Gaara1. Call him the sandman50 Ways to Piss Off Gaara7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
2. Ask where he got the contacts
3. Tell him he does a great job with his eyeliner
4. Hold an emo contest between him and Uchiha Sasuke
5. Declare him the clear winner
6. If he protests, show the scene when hes a kid and is trying to stab his wrists
7. Show him LeeGaa
8. Ask why hes always on bottom
9. Ask if hes wearing underwear under his robes
10. If he refuses to answer, assume this means no
11. Write ____ was here on his gourd
12. Blame Kankuro
13. Ask if itd kill him to just brush his hair
14. Get him green spandex for his birthday
15. Get a really SEXY picture of Lee in a heart shaped frame
16. Put it on his desk
17. Swear that its always been there
18. Stare at him for a long time
19. When he finally asks why youre staring, say you were just wondering when hed go all homicidal again
20. Ask if he still has his teddy bear
21. No matter what he answers, point and laugh
22. Buy him
50 Ways To Piss Off Neji50 WAYS TO PISS OFF NEJI50 Ways To Piss Off Neji7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
1. Inform him that Rock Lee is the smex
2. Show him NejiHina
3. Claim you are his long lost cousin
4. If he asks for proof, do a really crappy Byakugan imitation
5. Point at him and ask whats with the blind chick?
6. Ask why theres a swastika on his forehead
7. Tell him Ten Ten is pregnant with his child
8. Tell him LEE is pregnant with his child
9. Inform Ten Ten/Lee that he uses Byakugan on them ALL THE TIME
10. Inform GAI he uses Byakugan on him all the time
11. Videotape them beating him up
12. Steal all his clothes, leaving nothing in his closet but green spandex
13. Give him a 5000 item list as to why the Sharingan is so much better than Byakugan
14. Tell Lee hes a girl
15. When he gets angry say Oh, looks like somebodys PMSing!
16. Whenever hes fighting play Macarena
17. When hes fighting play Safety Dance
18. Bang his head on the wall
19. If he asks what you&
50 Ways to Piss Off Sakura1. Ask why she even BOTHERS chasing after Sasuke, when its so obvious hes gay50 Ways to Piss Off Sakura7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
2. Tell her shes completely useless
3. If she denies it, show her all the clips where they actually SAY in the series that shes useless
4. Accuse her of trying to seduce Kakashi
5. Ask why she wont just admit her love for Naruto/Lee already
6. Tell her that her forehead is HUGE
7. Tell her she shouldnt be so jealous of Ino, because she a FEW okay traits as well
8. When she asks what they are, pretend to think hard for a long time, then say Okay, youre right. You suck.
9. Call her Suckura
10. Show her all the We Hate Sakura clubs
11. Send her Narutos Ramen bill
12. Put a bunch of InoSaku in her room
13. Tell her Ino dropped it off there as a hint
14. Ask if her night job pays well
15. Ask where she got the contacts
16. Tell her that her hair reminds you of really cheap bubblegum
17. Tell Naruto she has a HUGE c
HomophobiaI loved that boy with all my heart,Homophobia7 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
And yet you were driven to tear us apart.
All your rants and all your speeches,
All your protests our spirits it leeches.
Just because our love to you was something new,
Doesnt mean our souls were any different from you.
But that didnt stop you from spreading all your rage,
Still you longed to trap our spirits within your brutal cage.
So one night you thought it would be great fun,
To hunt some of our innocent down with a gun.
Little did I know it was my lover you tracked down,
Perhaps if we had known we would have left this God forsaken town.
And even no matter how much he begged and pleaded,
Your mindless ignorance blinded you from the words you had been heeded.
So you let your finger go and pulled back upon your trigger,
And then you watched him die as you grinned proudly of your vigor.
I wish I had been there that night so I could have told him good-bye,
Yet I wish I had taken his place that night so it could have been I left to die.
50 Ways to Piss Off Rock Lee1. Get him an eyebrow waxing kit50 Ways to Piss Off Rock Lee7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
2. Go on and on about how awesome Neji is
3. Make sexual references to his hidden lotus
4. Ask if the Primary Lotus attack is just an excuse to grope people
5. Dont believe him when he denies it
6. Tell him Sakura has agreed to marry Sasuke
7. Steal his jumpsuit (note: he probably has extras in his closet, so steal those too)
8. Tie him up so he cant escape
9. Eat curry in front of him (while hes tied up)
10. Glomp him, then tell him you prefer Neji
11. Sing Gai and Lee sitting in a tree
12. Ask why he doesnt just admit his love for Gai already, since everyone else already knows
13. Lock Gai in the closet
14. Taunt Lee that hell NEVER find him
15. Play Gaara vs Lee over and over and over
16. When he mentions Gai, put your hand on his shoulder comfortingly and say He raped you, didnt he?
17. Whenever he walks into a room play Kung Fu Fighting
18. Whenever he w
50 Ways to Piss Off Kiba1. Every time he scratches, suggest that he take a flea bath50 Ways to Piss Off Kiba6 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
2. Or a regular bath even. Just something.
3. Remind him that bestiality is a crime, and its kind of strange to have a dog as your life partner
4. Remind him that dogs live shorter lives than people
5. Ask why he doesnt just admit that hes hot for Shino already
6. Tell the medi-nins that he has rabies
7. Tell people that he sniffs butts as a greeting
8. Tell him Kurenais baby is actually his
9. Tell ASUMA that Kurenais baby is actually Kibas
10. Every time he sits down, tell him to get off the furniture
11. Tie Akamaru up
12. Then hang him from a rope and use him as a piñata
13. Ask if his long nails cause any problems during his alone time
14. Tell all the academy students he has a tail
15. Film them trying to pull his pants down
16. Keep going on and on about how lame it was he was defeated because Naruto FARTED
17. Strip him naked and drop him off at an anime convention
Under My Own Power :NaruSasu:Unrequited NaruSasuUnder My Own Power :NaruSasu:6 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Warnings: Um, angst. Not bad, just...too much info will give it away. Just accept it's a little sad.
"Sasuke! I'll bring you back to the village even if I have to break your legs to do it! I'll break every damned bone in your body, bastard!! JUST COME HOME!"
It was a...pretty speech; I wonder if you believed it. I wonder if you practiced it in front of the mirror until your throat was sore and you knew you could say it even if you were this close to collapse. Especially then.
No, I don't.
I don't think about it, or why I let you go that day. I don't wonder if you knew how I almost...
In the end, it didn't matter, did it? Iruka's first rule: It only takes one well-placed strike in a vulnerable spot to kill a man. Anyone who knew you could have guessed that spot was your heart.
"Yeah, well I would guess yours is your ass!"
Hn. [Naruto always smelled of dirt and greenery, so very much alive.
LoveTitle: LoveLove7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Pairing: YonKaka(if you want to see it that way) and YonKushina
Summary: Yondaime says his goodbyes
Waring: Yondaime's real name is used.
Disclaimer: Kishi's yeah we all know this.
Another for 100 themes and dedicated to those who've made me feel welcome in the YonKaka community.
'Love' it was such a wonderfully horrible thing. Or perhaps that should be horribly wonderful. Minato wasnt sure, but right now it felt like the first.
It was because of love that he was staring into those dark red eyes. He could see his death in those eyes. Fear welled up inside of him as his hands flew through the seals. But, even as the Death God appeared behind him he felt oddly at peace.
When Kushina had screamed in pain hed had his moment of doubt. Even, the blonde, love-sick fool that he was he had known then, that she wouldnt make it. But, Naruto had cried out an instant later and ground in his resolve. So, after hed settled his infant son in
To Fight Our Destiny -NaruHinaTwo!To Fight Our Destiny -NaruHina8 years ago in General Fiction More Like This
The veins that rimmed Hinata's eyes grew in size as she fully activated the Byakugan
Her arms began to pick up speed as the chakra poured out from her fingers.
Later on, she would feel a bit sorry for the tree she was practicing on (Hinata was just that kind of person), but at the moment, all she concentrate on was imagining the plant was an enemy as bark flew.
Her arms were blurs at this point.
She knew that she shouldn't be doing this so soon after her fight with Neji, but she had something to prove to herself.
Her movements came to a halt and she placed her hands on her knees to steady her weak body. Unable to help it, Hinata coughed into her hand, grimacing when she saw it was blood. She slumped against the now shredded tree.
She was annoyed. Annoyed with Neji for rubbing it in her face that she was a failure to their clan, annoyed at herself for being unable to change it. She knew, as the heir to the Hyuuga, that the Eight
Naruto Kyuubi Chronicles.Part I: Change.Naruto Kyuubi Chronicles.8 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Naruto awoke in a daze, the summer's sun enveloping him in a warm, comforting slumber. Jiraiya stood above him, impatient with the boy's prolonged rest. 'Get up', he commanded. Naruto stumbled clumsily to his feet, struggling to gain knowledge of his surroundings and understanding of Jiraiya's seriousness. 'Today's the last day of training, if you value your life you'd better figure things out for yourself'. Before Naruto had a chance to comprehend his sensei's words, Jiraiya pushed against Naruto's headband, sending the poor unsuspecting boy plummeting from one of the highest cliffs in Konoha.
Jiraiya peered over the edge of the cliff, keenly eyeing the falling child as a hawk watches its prey. Now, he thought, let's see if your power really is a gift or a curse…
The air was forced from Naruto's lungs. He was falling, and fast. All he could do was scream in terror as he plummeted towards the ground. The razor-like air burned and tore as it soared p
I Can'tI Can't7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Title: I Can't
Genre: Humor, Angst
Pairing: None Kakashi is 8, Yondaime is 18
Summary: Some things change a person so drastically they can never return to who they were before. And sometimes no matter how much we want to, we can't do anything to stop that change.
Disclaimer: Kishi's wonderful characters, my evil plot bunny with fangs
"And, as the figure drew nearer they knew... he was back for revenge..." Minato's voice trailed off in an obvious attempt to be spooky.
Kakashi only stared at him dully. "The guy just rose from the dead of his own free will?" the boy asked rolling his eyes. "It was probably just one of them using a genjutsu. You said they were all genin, except for their sensei who was asleep, so it couldn't have been a resurrection jutsu." Kakashi shook his head. "Besides, if it had been a resurrection jutsu somebody would have had to know about their mission and you said they killed everyone."
"Okay, Mr. Skeptical, believe what you want but it was a
50 Ways to Piss Off Iruka1. Say he used to be emo, and he got his scar during one of his phases50 Ways to Piss Off Iruka7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
2. Give all the kids in his class caffeine
3. And kunai
4. Ask loudly and in front of a lot of people if parents are really okay with his life as a prostitute
5. Call him dolphin-chan
6. Slip love notes from Gai into his desk
7. Buy lots and lots of KakaIru doujinshi
8. Replace the textbooks with them
9. Question his sexuality. Constantly.
10. Set him up on a date with Anko
11. Sneak Icha Icha into his back pocket
12. Ask why hes teaching children when hes weaker than some of the twelve year olds on the show
13. Inform all the parents in the class that he impregnated you and abandoned you
14. Ask how it feels to know that Naruto doesnt like him as much as Jiraiya or Kakashi
15. Steal his Ramen
16. Tell him Naruto was killed
17. Ask if hes related to Kisame
18. Make sexual references to his little dolphin (me: typing this one made me blush)
19. Convince Naruto hes
Gaara's PoemDeep within the shadows I creepGaara's Poem8 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Is there something that I seek?
To find a reason why I live
For in fear of death, it's death I give
Anyone who crosses my way
Won't live to see another day
As long as there are people to kill
The world is completely at my will
Is it I or is it you?
Try to see this from my point of view
Full of bloodlust, full of hate
I never had a choice in fate
Is this darkness, or is it light?
Who can teach me wrong from right?
I'm invincible, with power over sand
You'll know it's the end when I reach out my hand
I'm the Angel of Death so you'd better watch out
I'll kill you all, without a doubt
What can save me from this life I dread?
It's the word that's been scarred on my head
This loneliness that eats me inside
These horror-filled fears that I try to hide
Now the whole world can read what I lost
I was made a weapon, and my life was the cost
My mind is unstable, you may think me a freak
But you'll tremble in fear because I'm so bleak*
I love no one and fight for me
50 Ways to Piss Off Kankuro1. Ask if hes upset that his LITTLE BROTHER beat him to becoming Kazekage50 Ways to Piss Off Kankuro7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
2. Point out that he wears more makeup than his sister
3. Get him a Sephora gift card for his birthday
4. Tell everyone its what he asked for
5. Show him GaaKanku
6. Ask why everyone thinks hes a perv
7. Glomp him and yell KITTY!!!
8. Do this in front of the Sand Council
9. Ask him to put on a puppet show for you
10. Tell him using Sasoris old puppets is cheating
11. Go on and on about how HAWT Gaara is
12. Tell him Shikamarus doing his sister
13. Tell him its really pathetic to be afraid of his little brother
14. When hes being mean, say Im telling your mom. Oh wait, your moms dead!
15. Ask to borrow his eyeliner
16. Draw on his face when hes asleep
17. When he confronts you, tell him you see no difference
18. Put GaiKanku posters up in his room
19. Ask why there arent any good pairings involving him
20. Tell him
Twice Shy - Chapter 1Twice Shy A Story CompletionTwice Shy - Chapter 16 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Continuation by eternalshiva
DameWren has given permission to anyone that wants to continue her wonderful fic Two Halves. Even if there are 3 chapters to the official Twice Shy, I decided to straight up start it from chapter 1, some of the development I think is too fast and didnt flow right. Ive read a few floating around and I wanted to do my own since I didnt feel very satisfied with some of the directions they had taken.
AN I took into consideration what some people suggested and made quite a few changes to the chapter, I hope this is easier to read and follow now Thanks go to In Ghost Colors on for helping me out!
AN Edit The great re-beta begins! Ive managed to convince my beta to review the first 2-3 chapters. Huzzah to re-read! And I apologize for all of those who will be getting warnings in their e-mails as though I updated Psych?
Naruto is copyright of Masa
50 Ways to Piss Off Itachi1. Inform him that Sasuke could probably kill him in his sleep50 Ways to Piss Off Itachi7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
2. Whenever he gets angry, ask if hes PMSing
3. Ask about his sex life
4. Show him KisaIta and ItaDei
5. Show him ItaSasu
6. Record his reaction
7. Give him dark glasses for his birthday
8. Or a cane
9. Whenever he walks into a room, play I am beautiful
10. Whenever he walks into a room, play Barbie girl
11. Pat him on the shoulder and say he touched you, didnt he? then walk away
12. Accuse him of drawing the lines under his eyes
13. Whenever he walks by say Maybe its natural, maybe its Mayebelline
14. Ask who does his nails
15. Cut off his ponytail and gel his hair to stand up (note: This will make him look JUST LIKE SASUKE, so you may have to fight off fangirls once you do this)
16. Inform him that hes a couple commas short of a Sharingan. (yes, I came up with that myself)
17. Offer to strip for him (if youre a girl)
Dry Mouth, Dry Eyes :Team7:Dry Mouth, Dry Eyes :Team7:6 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Team 7, unrequited NaruSasu
Warnings: Violence. Character death.
"Dry Mouth, Dry Eyes"
Remember...when you were twelve.
He vaguely hears her telling him how she had begged him to stay--"Sasuke-kun..."
And he knows, without looking, that her eyes are wide and green like the forest, intensified by red puffy lids and more glistening, unshed tears.
She will never look so broken for him.
But Naruto comforts himself in the knowledge that he does not look half as stricken, though his heart stopped minutes ago and fell to pieces in his chest.
The boy makes his Number One promise and walks away, as well, with dry mouth, dry eyes, and that unbreakable smile Sasuke's already managed to tarnish.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Remember...when you were sixtee
Of Cookies And MenOf Cookies And Men7 years ago in Fan Fiction More Like This
Iruka had no idea that bringing cookies to work would result in bloodshed. He should have, since most shinobi are emotionally the equivallent of the kids he taught. But, honestly, he hadn't even considered what would happen if there simply weren't enough to go around.
The rather packed mission room dropped a good ten degrees at the copy-nin's voice. "Don't touch my cookie." He hadn't raised his voice, but the warning tone had nearly everyone taking a step back.
"I don't see your name on it, Senpai." Tenzou glowered, and for once the ghoul eyes creeped more than just Naruto out.
"I've had my eye on that cookie for a long time." The lightest flicker of chakra danced across the man's finger tips.
"If you didn't take the cookie when you had the chance, it's not my fault," the darker-haired nin countered. Neither noticed the light pink spreading across a certain scarred chunin's cheeks.
"Maybe I was enjoying the anticipation of the cookie." Eyes flickered between the two men, whose eyes wer