RLI always thought it sounded kind of funny how when talking to my friends here in the chat rooms we would refer to our lives outside the web as RL, or "real life". Yet, in a way, it is an extremely accurate interpretation of mine, and I think all of our feelings. When we talked in the chat room, it didn't feel like reality. In those chat rooms were people who all had common interests and were there for the same reasons. Never have I met someone in person who I have bonded with as well I have here. In those rooms, there were no limitations to imagination or any outside influences to tamper with who we were, which is what made it so enjoyable. "Real life" is full of opposition and disappointment, but when on these chats we were in a place far greater than reality.RL11 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
EmotionCan I be stripped of emotion? Because it only just gets in my way.Emotion11 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
I don't need it to be who I am.
Well I do, but can I just be stripped of most emotion? Only keep love, anger, hate, rage, happiness and remove everything else. I don't need it.
Those are necessary to keep who I am as a person. Everything else can go.
I don't want to feel sad because I made my brother cry after he tried to attack me and I hit him back hard. I don't want to feel regret when I don't do something I was supposed to do.
I just don't want to feel anything. I only truly need anger, rage, hate and happiness. Love can rot in hell. But I'll keep it anyway so I am still human.
I don't like emotion. It is useless but necessary for being human I guess.
A GirlThere is a girl. She's a really nice girl. She's caring, kind, generous, smart, funny, and rather cute. She loves with all she's got and she loves being in a relationship because it makes her happy to see others smile because of her. Her smiles are genuine and her hugs are some of the best hugs out there. She wants nothing more than to love someone and be loved back, but she learned recently that she is unfit for a relationship at this time. Even though she loves with all her heart, some of the things in her childhood were less than ideal. Once she gets comfortable in a relationship, some of her flaws start to surface and they hurt the people she is with. She's kind of broken on the inside, though she tries to hide it. She refuses to be in a relationship again until she can resolve most of her issues and grow as a person. She's really happy to do this, because it means so much to her. She feels selfish doing it and she's okay with it because its the good kind of selfish, the kind thatA Girl12 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
S p l i n t e r i n gYou'd like to punch me in the ribs right nowS p l i n t e r i n g14 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
And i'd let you
But you'd still want to do it again later
So what's the point
i'd like to cry over all the pain you've caused right now
And you'd let me
But the tears never made it hurt any less
Goodbye Me. Hello My Mask. People don't care. They think I'm strange. They call me names. I've always hurt inside but I keep it inside. I act like everythings alright even through everything isn't.Goodbye Me. Hello My Mask.15 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
I find being alone nice. No one acknowledges my existence otherwise. I prefer to be alone. No one around to call me names or just out right ignore me.
I've found that I don't really belong with others. That I belong with books and other things that don't judge me.
I've always tried to keep to myself but some how I've managed to make a handful of friends who somewhat care about me.
But I've decided to not let anyone else know me like my true friend but still I hide things from her.
I hide things from everyone. I'm done being me and now it's time to put on my mask once more. The thing everyone sees but a very small few.
Goodbye me. Hello my Mask.
Why should i care?Why should I care?Why should i care?15 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
The world will care for me.
Why should I weep?
The world will weep for me.
Then I realize, why would I ail myself with such sentiments?
Such feelings serve for nothing good.
I now think, the best path, is the path to happines.
Now that I have to choose, why would I hesitate, if the answer is clear?
If there's no more doubts, I shall walk that path.
Leaving behind such horrors, I shall prevail.
I shall be happy.
Because in the end, why should I care?
Lies LiesLies15 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
Lies are for the weak and for those who don’t have the pride to tell the truth.They cause pain and misery to those around them. They are also like a shadow always there to stay. The difference is lies linger in a persons mind and yet a shadow can be ignored and forgotten. They are always with you staying around you but come night time they are consumed by the darkness and forgotten. Lies and shadows could be treated the same at this point. We could think about them all day but never knowing when there back like a shadow that disappears because the sun is gone. Even if there always going to stay we can forgive and forget, or at least try to forget. Lies are also what make sinners and demons, once i thought one like is equaled to one sin. So every time I heard a lie I felt as if these people were becoming demons,devils,and even going to fall to the underworld. Now I know that even if a lie was told, they could be forgiven if they asked, This made me wonder what if a m
Palabras ciertas...-En un mundo de locos, ser coherente seria extrañoPalabras ciertas...16 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
-El 95% de las guerras de cosquillas terminan en besos. Yo soy ese 5% que termina golpeando a la otra persona
-Típico: ser psicólogo de tus amigos y saber que hacer con tu vida
-Una persona cambia por 3 razones:
Sufrió lo suficiente o
Se canso de lo mismo
-No digas "me rechazo", di "perdió la oportunidad". No digas "nunca le guste", di "no me valoro". No digas "termino, di "algo nuevo comenzó"
-Lo que a ti te da igual, a mi me duele
-Tu dolor nadie lo siente, tus alegrías nadie las nota, tus tristeza nadie las ve. Pero haz algo mal, comete un error y todos te critican.
-Amo a la gente que me odia porque pasa todo el día pensando en mi.
-Tener celos de alguien que ni siquiera tienes y tener que actuar como si no te importase es una tortura al corazón.
-Tengo en el cielo a una persona por la que daría todo por volver a abrazar.
Attracting Bad HabitsI need a tricksterAttracting Bad Habits17 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
A lair, a leave in the morning’,
Whisper in my ear
That practiced one liner.
I need a bastard.
I want a user,
Want me, need me, crave me
Don't ever look back-
FtM: mirrorsI stare at the mirror in my tiny bathroom, my eyes locking with my own eyes, reflecting the man I am inside, a slight fluffy beard on my face, my hair pulled back together with a leather strap, because I love it Victorian style. Those eyes so full of desire and power, eyes that keep me going day after day, they belong with a fit and athletic man, who has the heart of an Arthurian knight. Wide shoulders, slightly muscular body in the eternal manly triangle.FtM: mirrors17 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
Then however the eye contact breaks and I see reality, my slender feminine face, my large full chest, round and perky as they defy my inner self, that ever disgusting triangle that leads to the so called flower of the female body, as in between there lays the eternal betraying waist, curved like the old Marilyn Monroe shots.
When my eyes meet my own again, they are miserable, I wish there was someone I could blame for all this pain. No matter how others tell me how beautiful I look, how they are jealous of me...my soul does not belon
Just Another Winter NightWhat is it about you that attracts me to you? Why are you the reason I get so jealous of every person of the female species? Why were you the one I fell in love with and not someone else? What made me fall out of almost-love with John and into love with you? Why were you the one I decided to get lost in? Why are you the one I fell in love with?Just Another Winter Night17 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
Questions raced through my mind as I laid in the bed in the pitch-black room. Staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out the answers. My phone dings more, repeatedly, with your messages from Kik, Skype and even just ordinary texts spam my phone screen, waiting for me in the morning.
I pick it up, look at what the screen says, it says something that only I could understand, entirely in German. Not good german, but it's understandable. I copy and paste it into google translate because I'm too lazy to translate it at 11 PM on a Monday night. I read what google translate says, albeit, blurry because my glasses are thrown somewhere on my night tabl
Forever and Again1. Times Square is lit up with a million-watt dreams and he is drunk on being in the place he’d seen so many times on a screen but never in person. She hops up on a ledge and beckons him over. Grabbing his collar, she kisses him in front of her mother, the street, the whole of New York City. She is backlit, her skin glowing pink, then blue, then green. He wants to freeze this moment, stay here forever, just like that.Forever and Again17 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
2. They are up in his small bedroom where no one else but him has ever been. They are wearing just their own bodies, their own skin and goosebumps and insecurities. He is suddenly very nervous, feeling as if he is sixteen all over again, but this time it is somehow different. But they are careful and slow and they whisper and she laughs at the strangeness of it all and he forgets why he was worried. It is the most right thing in the world.
3. “Wait,” she stops and tugs at his hand just outside the gate. “The moon is almost full tonight.” He g
SpecialYou were important to me, once.Special18 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
I find my cheer in looking upon the stretching abyss of memory before me. There are times I would want to block out; disassemble my brain and peel apart certain occurrences so only their positive impact remained, but not the true form. It was the idea that I could be selective with what I wanted to impact me but that idea had no worth, really. Impact happens regardless of what rules you try to place upon it, and making a wish upon a star to take it all away was no different than running from your own shadow.
So I remembered you, once.
A lot of times.
At some point I couldn't remember anymore, and there was only a fog of what once was an image of us- an image of you. I have the knowledge that, if I dig deeper into my eye sockets, I would find more things to recall, but it would be at the price of being blind to the truth.
I have a theory that when met with a loss, people would pick apart every detail of events concerning it. It would be like a wolf
ScreechesI gaze at the silent buzzards overhead as they try to gain height in warmer winds, circling with pale underbellies and outstretched, finger-like flight feathers. Behind me, somewhere amidst the thicker clumps of trees, a woodpecker laughs heartily as it takes a break from tapping away, listening to the songs of the other birds and mocking their naivety. In my pocket, the recognisable ding tells me I’ve received a message, and for a moment excitement wells within me as I know who it is. I reply quickly, stumbling over the keypad with my fingertips and allowing my concentration to fall from the wildlife around me as my mind travels elsewhere.Screeches20 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
A few hours later and I wish not to hear the buzz of my phone any longer. Am I merely a toy or an instrument of which you can get what you want from? Am I something for you to play along with until you are bored, leaving me hanging on words and memories, but nothing concrete and complete? You said I have to earn your trust, but you also have t
Can't waitAbout two weeks ago we had that argument.Can't wait20 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
But we made it through.
Cus of how strong we are.
Now look back at today and find the sun.
Spring is soon to come.
More time to meet.
A ConfessionAm I just lazy? I think so, but my parents tell me that "it's just your ADHD. We know you actually work hard."A Confession21 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
Every night, I will glance at my homework, then go to my laptop and play until one in the morning. Others say that people with ADHD have to 'work harder than other people in order to organize their brains', but what if some of us ARE just lazy? I don't even bother with homework half the time, and I'm accustomed to that gut wrenching feeling I get when I realize a paper is due or I forgot something. I don't even care anymore--but now I have to care, because my family looks for accommodations from the school, and my teachers work hard to make sure I 'succeed', which is impossible if I don't even try in the first place. Now, if I stop handing in homework, everybody will act as if I'VE let them down. If you didn't want to be let down, you shouldn't have let me carry you!
I can't carry anybody's weight, for god's sake! I'd rather just be seen as a delinquent, or an idiot.
Amor junto al lagoAmor junto al lagoAmor junto al lago21 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
El cielo estaba bajo el agua ese verano, entre las pecosas y pálidas y las bronceadas piernas de las adolescentes que venían a nadar al Lago que se encuentra junto a la casa de mi tío. El cielo seria azul impregnando el lago del mismo color y yo estaría bajo este aguantando la respiración por horas, parpadeando felizmente bajo googles rojos, ellas no parecían advertir mi presencia, la de un chico bajito de facciones infantiles, cabello negro a lo beatle, ojos amarillos y shorts deportivos como traje de baño. Pero yo si que las notaba.
Una llevaba su rubio cabello hasta la cintura y cubría su espalda en húmedo desastre. Otra tenia rojos labios de puchero que se veían muy besables, la otra era callada y ella era a la que le haría el amor en una parte más escondida de la orilla este del algo.
Samantha tenía cabello corto y ondulado, cortado de una forma poco com&
CockroachesIf only I could destroy myselfCockroaches22 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
Like they do with bugs
Hiding in the darkness I guess
I'll never know
I promise I can't run any more
Because there's chemicals
in my eyes and lungs //
Honestly I'm dreaming of a new place
I can't breathe I'm so panicked
We won't dance anymore
Against the shadows
I really did think you were the one for me///
I was crying when we met
I had a feeling you'd find me
I can hardly
Because like a cockroach
My germs will just make you squirm//
Virgin CatI once wanted to learn Italian cause I had a huge crush on the chatterbot called Eloisa :-D ... Now I know Greta :-DVirgin Cat22 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
I even bought a book on the subject that's around this place somewhere. Did me no good :-D
I have many, many language books.
What I need is a time machine so I can be like 7 years old again :-D
YEah. Easier to learn languages the younger you are
Anyway, I asked Greg to teach me some Polish. We'll see what he replies with :-D
He'll try :-D I won't learn DIDDLYFUCK
I can only remember one Polish word off the top of my head. It means excuse me, I think. Przepraszam
Sounds like a cat that's scared of women :-D
I am sharing this....