My ConfessionI never really thought about my lack of sexual interest before society confronted me with it.My Confession1 day ago in Emotional More Like This
It took me quite a while to notice guys as anything more than "other people", and when I did, it was more a group pressure thing than real interest.
I even had a boyfriend then, but not because I particularly liked the guy. Having a boyfriend in your teens is a status symbol. Have one, you're cool, have none, you're not.
Of course, back then things weren't that clear to me. I went with the flow.
For a very long time, I wondered what is wrong with me that I don't enjoy sex, that It makes me feel awkward and that I have no desire to go out and date. Society made me believe it is wrong to be like that. I was ashamed of myself, of my flaws and my obvious failure of being a full-fledged human being.
You define yourself through others. You try to figure out who you are, and you look at others for guidance, for something you can identify with. But you only limit yourself with that, and not finding si
Dear deviantART: Free The AuthorDear deviantART: Free The Author4 days ago in Emotional More Like This
In a world as colorful, diverse, unique and beautiful as it is today, I’ve learned through my 10 months on this website that many people enjoy expressing themselves in many different ways when it comes to art.
Whether it be through romance, nature, darkness, light or everything else there is to express with, it becomes even more interesting when I see the people express themselves with so many different mediums.
Myself? I enjoy expressing my artistic abilities through many mediums: Digital art, poetry, but most avidly, the xReader fandoms. Avengers, Sherlock, Free!, Shingeki no Kyojin and many, many others.
99% of my stories are romantic. I love to write romance, though I usually don’t take it much further than a little something like a sweet little kiss, the beginning of a new relationship, a baby being born, or occasionally, the odd sexual innuendo. Once, I tried writing a lemon. However it didn’t work out very well, and I decided to remove it for personal reasons.
Bullying, a brief storyI always knew I was off, that there was something wrong with me. Elementary school was a wild ride, with no friends, funny nicknames, and even beatings. My nickname, was "It". At that time I didn't know there was any other sexuality other than straight. I didn't know that happened. However, I still admired my same-sex friends, I thought they were pretty, and I wanted to kiss them as much as the opposite gender.Bullying, a brief story5 days ago in Emotional More Like This
I was pushed off of rock walls, slides, I had basketballs, dodgeballs, footballs, thrown at my head, I was tripped kicked and punched, the nurse knew me by name.
I didn't understand why it was happening, I didn't understand anything. I legit had to make a hula hoop be my best friend, and I'm not even joking.
It wasn't until I started reading the bathroom walls, the backs of whiteboards in class, graffiti on the playground, that I understood. Everyone assumed I was gay, and they wrote stories about me everywhere. Doing things I wasn't old enough to know about yet. The opposite ge
droplets to dropI think I imagined my life.droplets to drop1 week ago in Emotional More Like This
One prayer spent, an angel held my mind and supported its weight... offered to steal me away in the 8th grade despite the fact I'd let him down in ridicule and silence. In that moment, I believed in God.
but God existed in everything and nothing, and it became hard deciphering the holy from the chosen. So I dined with sin one night when her lips were too sweet and I was too caged; she'd put her nails inside my poet lines, with a sadness too familiar I could only choke on disappointment.
A white-out later--lips left only a little less swollen than the eyes--I was hoping I was simply malnourished in weak-spirit... but you showed me it was a plague in man, a Passover of none, and the scream I let go strangled the last of hope in me.
the things that we take, to make us feel.i tried to keep you a part of myself for as long as i could. but like everything in my life, it crumbled and dissovled and all i ended up left with was all your bad habits and self destruction. dont get me wrong, if i had a choice between nothing, and putting cigarettes out on the palms on my hands the way you taught me, or drinking my coffee black and gritty, i'll take the later every time. (nothing hurts about the same)the things that we take, to make us feel.1 week ago in Emotional More Like This
cause the only thing i've learned in my 21 years on this planet is that you're always told its going to be be 'okay.
that time heals all the crap that you're feeling right now, and that you have to not dwell on things so much, but i'm not dwelling, i'm holding onto the things that kept me breathing, cause i dont know if i can live without them anymore.
i am so fucking reliant on my crutches, and i can feel them being ripped from underneath me and i dont know how to get back up. my bones arent strong enough to be on their own to hold all this pressure. and i just want
What Happened To Deviant art?Back when i joined i loved this place. Yeah i was a kid back then, and i do see things under a different light now that I'm older. But lately DA seemed to be...Ebbing. And i don't think its the fault of the people that runs this site either. In my opinion its the fault of the degenerates that decide to either troll, steal art, or step on others for no real reason. But now I'm hearing talk of actual pedophiles on this site...i know many people probably already knew about this but this was news to me. And i know that every site i go on may have pedophiles on it and that this is "the internet"...some place where people continue to browse their favorite sites thinking that their completely "anonymous". Your not by the way. But even before this talk it seemed like this site was slowly gaining a population of people that only wants fame. I will admit that fame would be nice for all of us. But people nowadays don't understand what i few nice comments on a picture can do to someones confidenceWhat Happened To Deviant art?1 week ago in Emotional More Like This
Never Become Like MeWHAT INSPIRED ME TO CREATE THIS PIECE!Never Become Like Me5 days ago in Emotional More Like This
"Creating things is an amazing thing. it’s amazing to see what other people are doing, to see the inner workings of someone else’s brain, but in their own style. and if you want to do it, you just go for it. you try. you have to try. ” ~PJ Liguori (KickThePJ) (I'm not scared video)
I am only a young girl, destined to work until my body begins to fade from the earth.
I am only a fragment of the country that floats on the body of water that blankets the world.
I am a person with feelings towards many things. Some things I love so much that I would protect them, even if protecting them cost my own tiny life. Some things I despise so much that I would toss them into the flames that younger children admire so much that they utter words in a melodic fashion around it... And I would watch it burn...
Most days I wake up, I put on my clothes and I venture towards a place which I am forced to endure for six painful hours. I sit on one of t
DecayI feel dead,Decay1 week ago in Emotional More Like This
Inside and out.
My skin becomes ashen,
Bones become brittle as they crumble.
My skin starts to tighten.
I start to breathe in small shallow gasps,
As the walls start to close around me.
I start to tremble,
My eyes begin to drain of color,
Until they become dull and monotone.
My skin starts to evaporate,
I choke on air as I lose my skin.
My eyes roll back until my eyes become that of a zombie...
Emotionless and soulless...
And in this seat I have become brittle,
A decaying skeleton,
Just a simple white and broken endoskeleton...
Inside and out...
Inside the VaseThe vase stands thereInside the Vase5 days ago in Emotional More Like This
Cold and firm.
It doesn't make a move.
No one knows.
The vase is pushed
Maybe there was nothing inside.
I am the vase.
I try to put back my pieces with glue.
I guess I finally cracked.
Through all the little cracks
There was water inside.
A little message of hopeIf you feel like dyingA little message of hope2 days ago in Emotional More Like This
Please don't believe what they say,
You have a right to live,
You have a right to stay.
I don't care what you believe in,
I don't care where you're from,
Just as long as you know what feelings are,
As long as you're beautiful,
Beautiful meaning that you can love.
All that matters is that you're human,
All that matters is that you have a heart.
Your life is not worth it only if you are a bad person,
But you're not a bad person,
There will always be people who will hate you
For whatever reason,
Whether it be reasonable or not,
But no matter what they say,
There are people out there who love you for you.
Out there there are millions willing to show you
Just how much they care,
Even though they might not have met you.
You don't have to have perfect teeth,
You don't need this hour-glass shape that society wants you to have,
You don't need to be a specific gender,
And hey, it's okay if you pull at your hair,
We all want to do that in some points of life
Dealing with Awkward QuestionsDealing with Awkward Questions2 days ago in Emotional More Like This
Awkward Questions and How I Answer or Avoid Them
What is bigender?
Bigender, bi-gender or bi+gender describes a tendency to move between feminine and masculine gender-typed behavior depending on context. Some bi-gendered individuals express a distinctly "female" persona and a distinctly "male" persona, feminine and masculine respectively; others have shades of grey between the two. It is recognized by the American Psychological Association (APA) as a subset of the transgender group.
Are you a persona?
I am Melian!
Are you an OC?
I am Melian. I am very original and I do have a lot of character, thank you!
How old are you?
None of your beeswax bucko. Sheesh.
Are you a man or a woman (boy or a girl)?
No what I mean is, what gender/sex were you born as?
OH look a butterfly! Hey, what's your favorite color? Mine is purple. I like Skittles, do you like Sk
Get LostStopGet Lost2 days ago in Emotional More Like This
You have no idea
What I'm keeping to myself
I don't like you
Leave me alone
You would not
Last a day
In my mind
In my corruption
Your ignorance blinds you
Your venom destroys you
From the inside out
I don't want it
I don't need it
I have my own
And that's enough
Go to hell
I'll be waiting for you
You don't know
I do neither
Leave me alone
Or I'll make you regret
Anything you've done
In your blinding
You will REGRET
You will be GONE
I will DESTROY you
I will CORRUPT you
I will END YOU
IF YOU DO NOT GET
OUT OF MY WAY.
Some Honesty about Myself, Spiritually.I love making art, I really do. I love working with the various mediums in my gallery and improving my skill.Some Honesty about Myself, Spiritually.6 days ago in Emotional More Like This
However, I do not make very much expressive art. The things I wish to express, are not ordinary among others. Most times also, I can't even talk about it.
So, I hope you will grant me the chance to express these things in this piece of writing.
Before you continue reading, I want to make something clear. This will be about a topic that is quite close to me, my spiritual perspectives and experiences.
What I perceive may be very different than what you are used to, or may have assumed spiritual things might be.
My intention is not to bring you to harm or malice.
It is simply to express myself and bring a little spiritual awareness and honesty for myself and watchers.
That said, if you, deep within your being, disagree with what I write here, that is fine. If you really disagree, you do not have to read this. Choose and discover the truth for yourself.
Calling all anti-Yoshiwii1 fighters, this is war.:iconyoshiwii1:... You've taken down :iconshadowfan92:'s channel. With the help of your brainless zombie ass kissing white knight :icontruerealsegasonicfan:. Are you not aware of a person's rights? You are going against the constitution and trying to muffle free speech and the truth. What will it take for you guys to just listen.. Of course, now you are absolutely fucked, because after taking down that channel...Calling all anti-Yoshiwii1 fighters, this is war.1 week ago in Emotional More Like This
THIS MEANS WAR.
And if you think we're bad right now.. Wait until the ED gets at you. You. Are. DOOMED.
Sign the petition to ban yoshi permanently from dA and Youtube:
Yoshi. Give in now, and you will save yourself a lot of rage and flame, along with death threats and others. I'm warning you.
Better Day EncounterA simple gesture of acknowledgement.Better Day Encounter1 week ago in Emotional More Like This
Greetings. A little compliment. A smile. Or even a nod.
One from a stranger, would would especially make my day.
Something I can't answer.. "Why?! Why are there scars on your thighs?! Are those 'burns' on your hands really from falling?? Why aren't you answering me? Why did you cut?!!!",Her tears spilling onto my black suit. "Why didn't tell me you were hurting?!" She punched the wall, and collapsed on the floor. Her normally perfect mascara, smudged and dripping. Her perfect hair, a mess. Her calm demeanor, destroyed. "Why?..Why.."Something I can't answer..1 week ago in Emotional More Like This
Though she was speaking loudly, I heard her as though I was underwater. My ears and lungs stuffed. My insides burning. I don't know why I did it though. I only remember a lot of pain, then a bye.. And all these questions that I am hearing, is starting to get to my head. Why didn't I tell someone? Why didn't I stop it? Could of anything stopped me from being right here? It's too late. I am gone now..Once breathing, and running, but now dead..I am dead..DEaD!! DEAD!...But now this anger is nothing. A remnant of being alive, a reminde
seems like a bluri wish that people were more transparent.seems like a blur6 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
we're all skin and bones and most of the things that keep us awake and that break our bones is so internalized
and completely invisible. cause most of the time living kind of feels like i've spent countless hours spinning around in circles, and now i'm just trying to keep my stomach from rising, or my eyes from leaking every last liquid i have inside me while the world rushes so inconceivably fast.
i know that i can heal.
skin grows over deep wounds, and even the whitest mountainous scar tissue fades. but i dont know if the external matches the inside. the cuts have healed and the bruises are starting to disappear, but i dont know how your head is feeling. you might not have the black and blue lining your skin anymore, but your insides might still be threatening to drown you, or make you wish you could just stop existing for a little while. you dont know whats happening underneath blemish free skin.
people aren't clocks.
you cant se
HesitantHesitantHesitant2 days ago in Emotional More Like This
Hesitant, you grasp the handles of faith…
Bleeding in on time’s cruel wing…
Savoring the silence of my trails,
Showing me that cold hearts still exist,
Resist, distract, bore down, leave…
Frozen waiting for the winds of destiny to tide over you,
Awakening the potential to be something else,
Or be taken away,
Falling or flying, I stand, I fly…I count on you…
Now I bear my own wings…
As you hear my silence…you’ve taken away my voice…
Savoring the silence of myself,
I won’t break for you,
I’ll return strong, hard, lean…a fighter…
I won’t break for you…a second time,
Hesitantly, you grasp the handle…
No fear, in the broken…just a person waiting to be set…
I stopped counting on you…
Heat, fire, burn…
What have you taken from me? Anyway?
5 years agoShe walked the halls of the school she attended. She was always 40 minutes early. After putting her backpack into her locker, she turned around to sit outside in the cold for 30 minutes. Her black hair covered her face, her black jacket hid her arms. It felt tight on her shoulders but she wore it anyway because she could feel his hands through it. Her jeans were black and fitting and she wore them every day. If they smelled bad, she didn’t know, nor would she care anyway. Her small silver iPod fit snuggly in the palm of her hand and she could navigate its controls that way without looking at it. The bench she sat on was against a concrete wall that occasionally made her back itch. She would either have her legs crossed or her knees under her chin.5 years ago3 days ago in Emotional More Like This
Half-Truism by The Offspring played into her ears.
Her heart and lungs felt colder than the bitter winter on her skin.
She was in love with the way she loathed school. She didn’t like being there, but didn’t function well aw
The World Is A Trigger: Childhood Games Her sister once taught her this game where you could only walk above ground. If not, the consequences would be burning - you'd drown in lava. But after she left her, there were two years of sulking. This little girl couldn't sleep in an empty room, an empty bunk bed. Now once was there room is a lightless playground with the rules of the lava game. If she tripped and fell as she scurried across like a monkey, that would be a longer time waiting for the bathroom. If she fell on a pot, it would be about three minutes for the pain to subside. If she touched the bare floor, that would be two to five minutes to scrub the unknown substances from her feet. Although after the trek, she would reach her father's closet. This was where the Bogeyman lived (or so Daddy said to scare her from walking this way). She would carefully hold the tip of the shirt at the opposite end of the closet and pull herself through as fast as she could. Finally, the first part of her game is over for heThe World Is A Trigger: Childhood Games3 days ago in Emotional More Like This
Maquinaria del corazonEn un segundo apareciste dando luz a mi oscuridadMaquinaria del corazon4 days ago in Emotional More Like This
Encendiendo maquinarias herrumbrosas dentro de mí.
Había olvidado que existían y de nuevo siento su sonido
Tic-tac, tic-tac, suenan los engranes dentro de mi
Se enciende el motor del alma y con cada salida de vapor y chispas
Se escribe tu nombre en mi ser y en mis sueños.
Tus manos y tus palabras hicieron girar las válvulas largamente sin usar
Haciendo circular por mi maquinaria el vapor constante del amor
Un vapor tibio e incoloro que se esta distribuyendo en mi
Libera con tus ojos y tu sonrisa este amor que se esta acumulando en mi
Se la llave de paso para liberar en tus brazos mi amor por ti.
Esta vieja maquina esta rodando una vez más con un vapor diferente
Una esencia imbuida por tus palabras y tu ser. Soy tu instrumento
Úsame, hazme sentir útil y vivo una vez más, estoy funcionando a todo vapor
Y es por ti, mi querido ángel de luz.
What is depression?Depression.What is depression?6 days ago in Emotional More Like This
It's like you've been pulled into the sea, a
thousand arms dragging you beneath the
waves, drowning you.
At first you struggle, trying to free yourself.
You cry out, but this is reality.
Your screams, your tears, are muted.
No one can hear you.
Still, you wait for that light to shine.
After awhile, you stop fighting, because you
know that it's hopeless, no one's going to come,
nothing's going to change.
Then an eerie light shines, illuminating the
dark. You think it's finally okay to come out.
You've reached the surface.
Then you realize,
you've been tricked.
A power of a million waves, a tsunami comes
crashing down on you, submerging you, deeper,
causing more damage than before.
Now you're afraid, and you've disabled all resistance.
You close your eyes, and sink deeper, and deeper.
Never to be seen again.
UntitledYou deserve someone who'll see the fire in your eyes, and want to burn in it.Untitled6 days ago in Emotional More Like This
Someone who'll see the anger in your heart, and call it home.
Maybe from the ashes, We can rise again.
It's cold outside, and I wanna burn.
I want to die within your chest
I want to be as much a part of you, as you are of me
Cradle me between the heart I broke, and the frail bones you starve to see
The scariest thing about life, is knowing it will go on when I'm not here
From my deceased body, flowers will grow
You will bloom, and I will rot.
It's better this way
Two lost souls, can't take each other home
If we're silent about this pain, It'll kill us and say we didn't feel a thing
With our veins dripping poison, and lungs filled with smoke
Maybe two broken boys can't make each other whole
Destroying ourselves together
This can't be love.
This can't be safe.
This can't be life.
This can't be what people fight for.
But I'd still fight for it.
I'd still fight for you.