A few years gone by...Wake up. Get to work. Get home. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. Every day of my life. It's so boring. Where's the thrill, where's the excitement? The passion? The love? My life is so dull but so full of problems. Like the depression I'm still fighting. The self harm I never managed to completely overcome (oh God, the scars all over me. So ugly...). The memories of a rough past, keeping me up at night. Only one thing keeps me going. The online life I've been building for so long. The friends I've made there. The sweet and kind words, the wonderful things I got so see and read. The things I made myself that make me proud. My real life is a bore but my Internet life makes up for it.A few years gone by...2 days ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
30 Trans QnA30 Trans QnA2 days ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
1) When did you realize the term transgender referred to you?
well when I was younger I was always considered a tomboy. Instead of barbies and dolls I would play with trucks and pokemon(I actually know how to play the card game). Anyways I had my hair all boyish and had a whole bunch of guy friends, all that fun stuff. Later I started to wonder what it would be like if I were a guy and have dreams of being a guy. Early 2013 I had a break down about how I'm not a guy and I cut off all my hair crying. Then after a while I learned about what genderfluid is (thanks Nick). So I started labeling myself as that and was okay. Though when I looked into the mirror and saw a girl and was so upset. FINALLY I was done from people calling me a lady, because I just stopped feeling like a girl I felt like a guy 95% of the time, so I just say I'm trans.
2) How did you choose your name, and what names were you thinking about using and why?
Well I actually changed it 4 times. Before I came
Confession TimeConfession Time8 hours ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
Watercolor paints, dA had a spotlight on them. They can be used beautifully, magically, and so wonderfully.
However, I must confess; I am terrified of using watercolor paints. Yes, I am terrified. I don't why and I don't care.
Perhaps, perhaps it is due to my experiences in school. When we did get art lessons in elementary school, few and far between as they were, it was inevitably using watercolor paints. Crayola brand, white case. Now, when you watercolor paint it is a good idea to have a cup of water nearby to clean and wet your brushes. So, the teacher would hand out red solo cups half filled with water which we would then place on the corner of our desks. The teacher would warn us not to spill the water, as the entire floor was carpeted and we didn't need mold growing.
I'm a natural klutz, if I could actually walk without support I'd probably trip every two inches and I'm
A Favor"will you do me a favor?"A Favor1 day ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
"Die after me,"
Sobre mi en verso #1.Me gustan los documentales de la 2Sobre mi en verso #1.1 day ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
y los viajes en moto
y los pintalabios
y Angelina Jolie
y las faldas por encima de las rodillas
y las rodillas rotas y heridas como las prostitutas asiáticas
y las hamburguesas
y volver a soñar mientras me follan
y luego apagar las luces
y contar ovejas
y cosas bonitas
y mirar a la nada
y adiós que me rompo en mundo
Un nuevo Comienzo en Equestria capitulo 10Hola amigos estoy devuelta aquí en DeviantART, una vez mas lo siento por el atraso pero no les aburriré con lo que paso los dejare con Mi FanficUn nuevo Comienzo en Equestria capitulo 102 days ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
Un nuevo Comienzo en Equestria
Capitulo 10 Los elementos de la Armonia
Previmente en My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic-Rank incluido
Twilight: YO… vengo de…. Canterlot
Rank: solo es muy timida
Rank: Entramos por atras?
Fluttershy: Seria lo mas prudente
Rank: Mi Reina Nightmare Moon permitame unirme a usted para gobernar en la noche eterna
Nightmare Moon: Recuerden este dia por que es el ultimo, apartir de ahora la NOCHE DURARA PARA SIEMPRE
Rank/Nightmare Moon: JAJAJAJJAJAJAJAJAJA
Dulces Pesadillas #8Ya había oscurecido y miraba desde la ventana abierta de la pieza de mis papás.Dulces Pesadillas #811 hours ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Había algo raro en el ambiente, no se veía nadie caminando por la calle como era normalmente a pesar de ser de noche.
Mire a la entrada y vi a mi papá hablando con un señor que llevaba con él a 2 caballos, me llamo mucho la atención, me incline un poco asía adelante, vi que los caballos habían entrado y se dirigieron al jardín frontal, baje rápidamente para sacarlos de ahí, porque no quería que dañaran unas flores o se las comieran.
Al llegar ya no estaban, en su lugar se encontraba mi abuela sirviendo algo de comida y agua en unos platos, me pidió ayuda a lo que yo accedí.
Salimos a dejarlos al otro lado de la calle en el suelo, mientras ella los dejaba en una esquina yo me puse a mirar a lo lejos, en un sector en el que antes había unos pequeños cerros y que ahora no es m
The Ceremony Part 3his next words were, “Severious, you know what to do.”The Ceremony Part 33 days ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
she started moving towards me. she coiled around me, and i didn’t question it.
she put her mouth near my head and pushed me in, where she swallowed me.as that warm soft wetness moved down me, i heard chanting of some sort.
“ekans dna nam, rehtegot eseht dnob!”
i made neither head nor tail of that sentence, so i decide to go with it. suddenly, i felt a kind of breeze blow through me.
“do you, Severious, swear to protect this human, and ensure his safety?” i heard someone say.
“yes.” Severious replied.
that strange breeze again.
“do you, lucas, swear to do the same for her?”
this feels too much like a marriage, i thought.
what’s a marriage? said a small voice in my head. it sounded like…
“then you are bonded for life.”
there was an outbreak of cheering. then…
so, what do you think? said that small voice again.
In the Navy...So, I was casually scrolling down my fb news feed when suddenly, a wild Naval Officer Group Photo appeared!In the Navy...3 hours ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
I thought, 'Oh, that's nice. They're alll so happy and I'm so proud of Kiara for getting in!'
Then I saw it.
Only in the navy could this have happened.
How Smart You Look: W2,D3My brother never said much, but he used to talk as he busied himself getting his firstborn dressed. "How smart you look," he would say, pulling a dress over her hair and kissing her forehead. She would giggle and raise her arms to him, full of love, and he would hug her close to him. Her breakfast would stain and her dress would wrinkle again - but that is the way of little girls.How Smart You Look: W2,D38 hours ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
My brother's wife used to talk as she busied herself, running a brush through her second-born's long curls. "How smart you look," she would say to my niece, pulling the youngster's unruly hair into ponytails and smiling. With the deed done, she would smile back at her mama and take off, ready to play. Her hair would come undone, either removed herself or slipped out through the exertions of play - but that is the way of little girls.
My mother used to talk as she busied herself, running a hand down my nephew's shirt and pulling at the bottom. "How smart you look", she would say as she smoothed the wrinkles. H
2014-105 GatheredWe are home again, gathered back to our nest. It's good to be home. It's good to be where we belong.2014-105 Gathered17 hours ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
I looked up today's prompt yesterday afternoon. All through the evening question and answer 54 of the Heidelberg Catechism echoed through my head.
What do you believe concerning "the holy catholic (that is, universal) church"?
I believe that the Son of God
through his Spirit and Word,
out of the entire human race,
from the beginning of the world to its end,
gathers, protects, and preserves for himself
a community chosen for eternal life
and united in true faith.
And of this community I am and always will be a living member.We humans want to have a place where we belong. We want to be part of something bigger than ourselves. We want to be welcomed and embraced. We want to be gathered into arms of love.
Today's prompt from http://writealm.com/april-prompts/
A Hard Reflection to BareI looked in the mirror one Sunday morning. My hair was a mess, nails dirty and unclipped, and my wrists were red from pinching my sinful nature away. Why wouldn't these feelings go away? I couldn't take it anymore. I was going to make it all go away. I picked up the bottle of pills from my dresser and studied it very closely. The colors of it, the scientific wording, all these things were all unimportant but as far as I knew these were the last things I’d ever get to see. I opened the bottle as death’s shadow loomed over me. His warm breath felt familiar on my neck. The thoughts had crossed my mind so much I wasn't afraid of him anymore. He was a welcome visitor in my mind. I waited for his kind embrace but nothing happened. I had dropped the bottle. Tears fell down my neck as pills scattered across the floor. They ran underneath my furniture as if they were afraid of me, but who would ever be afraid of such a cowardly giant? I fell back on to my bed drenched in sweat and tA Hard Reflection to Bare19 hours ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
Of Injections and Bouts of UnconsiousnessI was fully awake with no hope of going back to sleep, but still I kept my eyes squeezed shut. When it became apparent my nap was over whether I wanted it or not, I let them slide open and gaze out the gap in my curtains. It was dark outside. It was silent downstairs. I wondered if I’d actually slept more than fifteen hours, from late afternoon into the early hours of the morning. I made my way down the hallway and to the bathroom. The light fixture was broken again, so we’d gotten the high-powered lighting system from the garage and set it up. Turning it on, I put a hand over my eyes, partially blinded.Of Injections and Bouts of Unconsiousness1 day ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
Once I’d finished in the bathroom, I went downstairs and into the kitchen, glancing at the microwave as I passed. 6:36. I actually wondered if it was morning or night. I spent four minutes standing in front of the microwave, staring at the small green numbers, trying to determine how long I’d slept. I actually had no idea, so I went to the fridge, drank some mil
Hope: W2,D2My heart bubbles in my chest, spilling over. This is the moment I've been waiting for, the one I've been working towards for way too long. I take a deep breath and stretch my limbs as I allow my body to slowly wake up. The gentle energy filling my body speeds the process a little, and I imagine myself a loosely held bow, being drawn backwards into the tautness of the moment.Hope: W2,D28 hours ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
I find some clean underwear and dress impatiently, ending with a t-shirt, slung over my head and struggled into as I open the bedroom door. The dog follows me out, sniffing the air with her tail wagging, and my man is left snoring.
We talked about this moment last night, how good it would feel and how important it was to me, and I knew he understood. Still, a tiny piece of me couldn't help holding onto how forgetful he is; and the hope was punctured ever so slightly-- what if, that part threw in, like a spanner in a clock. What if he forgot again, what if this would be just another morning? Still, the bird of hope
2014-104 PlaceBetween places in a place. At Chicago Union Station en route from the Iowa City Funk place to the Irondequoit Tryon place. A place between places. A familiar, comforting place after travelling through back and forth. Yet a temporary place, or so it seems in comparison to the places that seem so stable. Their place, our place, a quiet middle place.2014-104 Place2 days ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
Places have no meaning in and of themselves. Meaning is what we give them as we pass through. Sojourners we are, all of us always, though our sojourn may pause for years in a place. How quickly a place feels like home when it comes with a welcome. Bruce and Shirlee welcomed us into their place and it became our place. Now Shirlee is gone but the welcome remains as Bruce and Lydia and Deirdre and the extended Funk family welcomed us into the place that is their family.
Come Thanksgiving we hope to welcome Bruce and Lydia and Deirdre into our Irondequoit place so it can be their place as theirs is ours. Thus may our mutual brokenness be less as
12.April.2014Which people make you want to forge ahead?12.April.20143 days ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
In the academic and career areas of my life, am inspired by my teachers, especially the ones with whom I made a personal connection. Not only do they embody the dream for my future, but a large part of their job is to encourage students to reach their full potential and strive for their dreams, even against such hardships as busy schedules, difficult material, and others of life’s twists and turns. In my personal life, I am inspired by, as odd as it sounds, YouTubers. I don’t watch much television anymore (besides Supernatural, TeenWolf, HIMYM, New Girl, and Sherlock), and even when I do it’s only for a few episodes a week. Instead, I spend a couple of hours a day watching my regular daily vlogs and videos from cooking or healthy-living channels whenever they are released. The daily vlogs remind me that other people and couples have lives just like mine; not every day is glamorous or exciting. M
2014-103 Dare to hope: Words for JeanSunday morning, Palm Sunday, and a moment of quiet. The Funk clan, blessed be their name, is out for brunch. Corky and I elected to stay back at the house in the warm silence. We're getting our first good dose of April showers outside.2014-103 Dare to hope: Words for Jean3 days ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
- - -
This afternoon was the memorial service for Jean Funk, Bruce's mom. I said something like this:
I think the only time time I met Jean was at Bruce's and Shirlee's wedding some thirty years ago. Up until this week the only one of her offspring I knew was Bruce. Now I have met them all. At once. Along with their children and one grandchild and assorted cousins and spouses. They are, every one of them, stark, raving, delightfully, wonderfully nuts.
In the space of three or four days I feel like I've been adopted into the family. Discovering that Bruce's oldest sister, Nancy, like Corky and me, was a 1950 models sealed the deal. We proclaimed it a vintage year.
It has been a very long time since I have felt so thoroughly welcomed.
David and Jean Funk,
11.April.2014What if fairies really existed?11.April.20143 days ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
I think I would cry. I have been obsessed with fairies and the magical world ever since I can remember. My best friend in elementary school received a dragon-scouting book for her birthday, and I a fairy-scouting book for mine. In the following three or four years, the two of use spent as much time as possible in the woods (a patch of trees at a park behind he house) searching for clues and making up storylines for our magical world. I remember we found a large dug-out crater, and we, after consulting her manual, concluded that a specific type of dragon had nested there. Those we easily the best years of my childhood; filled with fun, boundless imagination, and the only worries we had were to not eat our lunch whilst sitting on a fairy tree!
Questions without Answers...The day after our bonding, Severious and I went to see The Mage.Questions without Answers...3 days ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
not surprisingly, he lived in a tree in the middle of the clearing from the night before.
"i'll get him." Severious said. she slithered up the tree.
after a while, I thought, Severious, are you okay? you've been up there a while.
she thought back, it took a bit to find him, now I have to wake him up.
she sounded frustrated, which made me laugh. it was more out of relief that nothing had happened to her.
finally, she came down, followed by the regal-looking snake from the previous night.
when he saw me, he said, "ah, I see why you've come."
"now, before you ask, no, I cannot fix this." he said. I shrugged. that was fine with me. I liked it this way.
"this is a mark of your bond. you two share a bond closer than many others. Lucas, this means that you might have abilities you've never had before. I am unsure what you will be able to do, or why, but no one knows anything about it. this is the only explanation I can give you.
2014-103 This good earth: Words for ShirleeA couple months ago one of my online friends got me hooked up with prompt-a-day writing project. Some days the prompt is a trigger, other days when I already know what I need to write about it gives me a place to start, a focal point for my thoughts.2014-103 This good earth: Words for Shirlee3 days ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
On February 3 Shirlee sent out her "not yet circling the drain but definitely on the high end of the exit ramp" note. The writing prompt for the fourth was "Inheritance"; I talked about this marvelous Yashica-D camera she gave me when we were out here in 2010. The day's entry ended with, "Thanks for the camera, Sister."
Then all of a sudden Shirlee died the morning of February 13. The two months she thought she had left turned out to be a week and a half. The prompt for the day was "Connections", which was just right. I wrote about our visit last November, and Bruce's email that morning entitled simply, "She's gone." Yes, connections.
A couple days later Bruce asked me if I would officiate at Shirlee's memorial service. A big ask, I replie
10.April.2014When did you last have an argument with your best friend?10.April.20143 days ago in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
I think the last time we had an actual argument was when she pointed out how different I was acting a month or so ago (it’s in a previous journal entry). Basically, something was affecting me and I didn’t know what it was, and she called me out on my behavior. I, of course, denied any help and become upset whenever she tried to help me. Eventually, I woke up one day and got over it as always, so we’re all good now. But if I were to be specific, our last argument was technically this morning when we couldn’t decide what music to listen to!