XVIII (Melting Brain)XVIII (Melting Brain)XVIII (Melting Brain)9 hours ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
18 days left till 18.
and i feel x plus something
equals the sum of adulthood.
and i’m missing the formula
to add that math up
so i subtract myself from it
in hopes of finding the answer.
damn it to hell, i missed a step.
so i make it a fraction
and hope that divides a prime number.
but that only multiplies the anxiety
because i know that doesn’t come out real.
and i can’t separate myself from reality
because what you add on one side
you must do to the other
when the variable isn’t known.
(and basically, you can be imaginative
but you have to make it a reality
or it’s just an idea
and ideas don’t get you paid
and realities eat money
like hungry hippos
but democrats are donkeys
and republicans are elephants.)
and no matter how many moments
i try to make into a solvable problem
the issue only comes out as x.
so let’s put it into a science.
i was born on the 19th of october,
Indie Wraps Around My EarsIndie Wraps Around My EarsIndie Wraps Around My Ears3 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
i like indie rap because it’s art
trapped under a stigma of astigmatism
which is probably why my favorite rappers
wear art frame glasses to see miss
and conception. or somethin’.
i like indie rap because i see myself
in the dudes who weren’t popular enough
to make it into the main’s ear,
soundwaves, or bloodstream
but those other weirdos
wearing sweater vests
with a gold cross linked round necks,
bow ties and nine fifty fitteds.
i like indie rap because i can whisper
broken assonance confused for direct rhymes
and snort lines and hide behind bars
and listen to prison songs
without ending up under the jail.
i like indie rap because i can repeat words
and look cool so words slice through eyes
like swords through irises
because i swore that i’d write
what sounds right and how i’d want
even if you don’t understand how i pen.
so even if my pupil can't pin
down these tones, rhythm, and space
we know tones sigh l
Relief. Relief, oh sweet reliefRelief.2 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Miles and miles away
Now, like a nice warm bed
It floods me like the Nile,
Nourishing the irrigation of my veins;
Oh relief, tears of joy
And I will only be honest in this once -
I feared you had left already,
And I had not known you well enough
To understand this.
Today, I am happy
Hermes' Wings Need to be ShinedI'm replacing my eyes so I can stare at the ceilingHermes' Wings Need to be Shined1 day ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
and watch as the cars' shadows run past
my window; I'm sick of this bed. I'm tired of this sickness.
I'm tired of being called diseased like I'll get you sick,
stay away from me.
You never left. You never left me alone.
I want to be alone, away from you who sends me endless messages
a day saying how I've done you wrong and caused you so much stress
that I've depressed you, and yet you still come to me with your
"baby, I need you"s; and I can't lie,
I've stretched myself far enough "baby", what you need
is to find someone else who will be your mother
because I'm done "baby"ing you.
I will not rock your cradle, or your world, or
your rocking chair when you get old 'cause god knows
I'm ailing from that motion and I'm just waiting 'till
I'm kneeling before toilet water because I've been struck with sea sickness.
Maybe I brought you good, but god damn it this
this is no good for me to be tied up by your threats of suicide;
IEC 5009IEC 5009IEC 500912 hours ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
red ring circuit cut, circa unknown
variable change to the power
of the broken infinity symbol-
ic(e) like jewelry, freeze up,
and choke on the chain.
HushesThe player piano lulls my sensesHushes2 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
every note stings
trying to gush out something
from underneath my skin
yet only smoke rises
evanescent from my fingertips
The gentle melody settles like snow
over my little insanity
reaches the surface
of the violent devil within
that's breaking my throat
unable to let loose
a needed scream
SearchThe wind whispers softly in my earSearch22 hours ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Birds crying out, flying towards the horizon
Sun sets,and a cold
Breeze comes with the nightly sky
Sand sips through my fingers
Finding its new place
Amongst the earth soil
Faint sound of waves
Replace the birds and
The sun pulled down
To make room for the moon
A few stars litter the black blanket of night
Cold attempts to tear away my warmth
Trying to grasp
My last bit of hope
Like streams of water
Tears glide down my cheek
Washing away all feelings
Now solitude awaits
And with a lasting breath
A search for a paradise
Is all that's left
My Journey From YouI.My Journey From You2 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Living with you is like being lost in a desert.
Every day is another dry, life-sucking event,
draining my joy, and stealing away my hope.
There is no one to come save me,
I need to learn myself.
So I begin to wander from these torrid lands,
but rescue is not so close at hand.
When freedom becomes a vague memory,
hope gets lost in the burning sun.
Your vicious mood swings beat me,
your anger is a storm.
Amid all your self-righteous rants,
you pull me further in.
If my footprints on your sand were dragging,
I'm sorry, I was tired. I'm sorry, I am dying.
But my footprints didn't leave you broken,
my leaving didn't wound your soul.
What desert claims justice over it's victim?
I only want some reprise from your scorching winds.
I only want to hope again.
Living with you was like being lost in the desert.
Staying put would have been my end.
But I will claim my hope as mine,
and I will press these feet further on.
You storms will not stop me,
your anger will not hinder.
Like a man
HELPHere we are again,HELP2 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Entangled in bitter tears,
Let me go, memories;
Please just let me go.
Butterflyi just released a piece of my heart to someone and i'm scaredButterfly3 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Donec Vitae PurusDonec Vitae PurusDonec Vitae Purus1 hour ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
I held your hand Cosmo,
and we would promise that we would never let go
We endured the harsh reality of life together,
and though life seemed hard
I seemed fine
I held your hand Cosmo
Though your family was broken apart
I promised I would try and make you whole
We battled the battle of life together
and everything seemed good,
until I woke up
I held your hand Cosmo
but all I had was your seed
Lest I die,
Did we endure the harsh reality of life?
FracturesI feel the cracks forming,Fractures1 day ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
little by little the paint chipping,
broken ridges across the alabaster,
this porcelain mask barely holds together
Little by little the chisel strikes my cheek,
the cracks rippling out like lightning,
i hear the sickening pop of this visage giving way,
why do i fight it
I feel it slipping,
piece by piece giving way,
the overwhelming pressure burrowing down on me,
i watch the pieces fall and crash upon the floor
If this lie that has become my face breaks,
what then is lift after it is gone,
how do i cope,
when everything i have known abandons me,
what will i resort to when all that's left is fragments of my beating heart
Internal DemonsI'm scared to show my closest friends my problems,Internal Demons1 day ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Because I know there's no way to solve them.
It's been this way for since that retched night,
The one that makes me shiver in fright.
My melancholy is ever changing, I know for a fact,
But I can't let them know, because I don't know how they're going to act.
This fear of mine is taking over my life,
So much that I still pathetically wish for the cut of a knife.
These feelings, bottled up inside my core,
Are not letting up, making my heart sore.
I can barely breathe at this rate,
Unbearably close to the cold hand of fate.
Reasonably I know I should be happier than ever,
With my army of grateful friends, but still my vision blurs.
This greedy hatred of myself is here to stay, that's clear at this point,
But will I collapse too much that I put myself at gunpoint?
Sorrowful and dejected, this is how the voices describe me lately,
Staying at the same rate I always have, the one that is gloomy.
Oh rejected soul of mine, is the mournfulness e
Concrete SidewalkSee it starting? You're breaking, I can already notice the cracks, like the concrete sidewalk of a busy cityConcrete Sidewalk1 day ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
You said you'd always be there, but I can notice the cracks,
notice the cracks,
notice how you're forgetting, how you never seem to notice that
I'm breaking, can't you notice the cracks, like the sidewalk of a busy city?
You said you'd always be there, but you're turning out to be just like the rest: breaking; cracked, broken, like the concrete sidewalk of a busy city
Prodigal FriendVoice from my pastProdigal Friend1 day ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Scent of sweet pea
Slipping from my grasp
Never was meant to be
Much like a prodigal son
My friend had returned
But old habits are not gone
I'm afraid to once again be burned
Dear friend, see my arms
Always open towards you
If you meant no harm
Then how could all this be true?
I am as a child once more
Young, inexperienced, unsure
Again locked behind the door
Driven slowly mad by the silent lure
Inside this cage I built
Begin to pace around and around
Prisoner to my own guilt
Find I am chained to the very ground
Should I leave you be?
Am I smothering? Clinging?
So desperate I must seem
To stop these bells from ringing
5 years have come and gone
Anxious to see how you have been
We don't have to talk until dawn
Your presence I have not yet seen
Little Girl.You think you can escape me?Little Girl.2 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
You think I don't have you by the throat?
Well, little girl i'd like to tell you I have the strongest grip.
Oh, little girl, you think you cn run.
You think you can hide but i have the quickest feet and the sharpest eyes.
Oh, little girl there is no esacape.
Yes, your going to scream.
Well little girl, I'm gonna take this blade and sharply, yet slowly push it into your rib cage.
Make you feel the burn.
Make you feel the darkness.
Oh, little girl your going to hurt.
Yes, your going to feel every inch of your body burn.
I own you.
Your nothing without me and my voice inside your head.
Scream little girl.
Nobody can hear you.
Disappear with me.I am in a room, it's full of people.Disappear with me.2 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
And yet I feel alone.
I feel as though I am but a ghost.
Doomed to walk amongst those who have found happiness.
Those who have someone or something.
That keeps them together, keeps them from disappearing.
Keeps them from becoming like me.
A hollow, transparent nothing.
I had someone once, someone to keep me whole.
But they're gone now.
And with them went my heart, my soul and my everything.
The September RevelationIt seems like a totally asleep kind of night ( for everyone else).The September Revelation2 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
But I remain awake as if blinding sunlight will not forgive my devitalization
I am left with blackened corrupted eyes
but, perhaps, not a blackened corrupted mind
I have given out my most prized possession
my most feared thought patterns to someone else ,
with fear of rejection,with fear that they are only
screeching audio feedback unfit to be heard
On my weary final push of penultimate nervousness
I gave that thought pattern up to you
and faced not rejection, but adulation
and it makes me think there is somewhere to go after all
It Only Shows On The Inside.It Only Shows On The Inside.It Only Shows On The Inside.2 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Standing still in the rain.
These thoughts in my brain, tearing me apart from the inside.
The wind of anxiety throwing me about.
It only shows on the inside.
THE STORM BUILDS.
It only shows on the inside.
I want to cry, but no tears fall.
My anxiety builds.
My anger multiplies.
I feel so stuck.
I want to do so much.
I can't though.
If it wasn't for all of the scars the pills left from previous battles won,
it would only show on the inside.
I'm a warrior.
I'm a champion.
IT ONLY SHOWS ON THE INSIDE.
The outside only shows the wounds you mock.
I'm beautiful for having fought the fights I have won,
but it only shows on the inside.
PainIs this what pain is?Pain2 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Why is there water coming out of my eyes?
Why do I feel broken?
Why is there this sudden pain in my chest?
Why do I have to suffer this way?
When will it end?
Please tell me when the pain willl be over.
You ignore me.
You pertend like you don't know me.
You used to say hey, but you changed.
I hate when that happens.
Espically with people I was really close too.
You've become so addicted to wanting to be poular
that you forgot about me.
You're just like the others.
and like my mother used to say
"The dearest people in your life will always change, and after the
change some are cruel."
I never beleived in her words,
but you and the others have led me to change my mind.
I don't even know what got into you...
not just you, but the others!
You rather choose to hang out with them?!
Your selfish you know that?
Hanging out with them just to become popular.
Just to let you know one day when I come to leave this earth
I dont want
Smile like you mean itWhen did I get to this bridgeSmile like you mean it2 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
This solemn breaking point
teetering on the verge of sanity
losing my grip on emotion
losing my control of my soul
Feeling this happiness run through me, leaving my soul alight
leaving me the vivacious optimist I know so dearly
then- Suddenly...something shifts...
My happy energy is drained leaving me feeling hollow a shell of my former glory
I feel vulnerable like an open wound is baring my inner flesh
Every little nick penetrating my armor, normally so thick and harsh
My armor normally so strong, able to reflect the harshest of blows
Now chips and cracks under the pressure of life and of my emotions so violently changing
I can't take this feeling I just want to curl up into a ball of silence and swallow my tears back
But I have to put on a brave face and embrace life with my teeth plastered into some semblance of believability in a smile, and for a moment I almost feel it, I almost feel in my core some brief solidity of mind where I have that spark back.
The shallow depths of madnessHeaven and hell I am betwixt,The shallow depths of madness2 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Floating along this river Styx,
Its icy waters silence my tongue,
Its fiery embers burn my lungs,
Light is fading, darkness abound,
In its depths I’ll surly drown,
Conflicting thoughts of a maddened youth,
Where lies are sweet and bitter the truth,
Planets fall when stars align,
Knotted threads of fate intertwine,
Burden the speaker of these fragile words,
They are but chains on flightless birds,
Fight fire with fir, the world will burn; consumed in its regrets
The flame must die, torch fade away; for only hopelessness it begets,
Rage against the current to reach this accursed plutonian shore,
Where speech unchained, no thoughts constrained; secrets freely doth outpour,
A butterfly with broken wings, from the ribbed cage so forth it crawled,
Ink-en words of love and hate, in thine blood were softly scrawled,
Although my lungs fill with shallow breath, I fear as though I’m dead,
Tis folly of thou to claim such thoughts, so say these voices in my
Emptyshe sits aloneEmpty2 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
with her plate
in her head
all the reasons why
she must not
she will not
dizzy and weak
she pushes the food
around and around
to take a bite
she doesn't know
but it is all consuming
she must always
until she's alone
when the waves
but she remains