...or at least keep your dignity.
The number of people who fight over the internet is amazing, and the main point of most of the fights is that they're petty, childish, and funny as hell to watch. Is someone picking fights with you over the interwebs? Are they pissing you off and making you oh so homicidal? If so, this is what you should do!
1. Stop capitalizing everything you say. Caps lock doesn't help your case at all. They cannot hear you. It's not like you're physically yelling at them. You just let them know you're raging at your computer. And we all know that your rage means you absolutely, under no circumstances, care what they think.
2. Stay away from irrelevant insults, but if you must use them, make them smart and logical. Whether you know it or not, it's hard to be offended by being called a name that is so far from wrong it's not even funny. Insults don't win arguments, but it's better to look knowledgeable than like a doofus who's pulling 'totes offensive' bullshit out of their ass.
3. Get your facts straight. Bitching, rage, and whining doesn't win arguments. Logic and facts do.
4. Learn how to spell. If all I can get out of you is 'ur stoopid', I'm obviously not going to go sit in my room and cry over you hurting my feelings, because it's difficult to be threatened by someone who doesn't take the argument seriously enough to use spell check.
5. Don't keep replying. Once you've lost an argument and have absolutely no points to back up whatever it is you're trying to prove, stop trying to climb your way back up. You've lost. Let it go. And besides, if they're bothering you so much, why do you keep replying? They're crushing you!
6. Learn that opinions are different. Everyone thinks differently. Getting into fights over stupid shit is silly, and you have so many other things you could be doing to make some use of your time.
And that's how to win an argument over the internet! Yes, this journal is for laughs! Or is it?