Unfortunately, today's journal isn't a cheery one. For those of you who are active on tumblr, I'm sure you're already aware. But I'm also sure that there are still some of you who have not yet been informed.
Comickit, whom I'm sure you know as the artist of "Pasta Monsters", recently released her statement on the abuse she suffered at the hands of Snuffbomb during their time dating one another.comickit.tumblr.com/post/97829…
This act of bravery sparked countless others to step forward with accounts of unspeakable abuse ranging from emotional to physical and straight up sexual assault. Due to the overwhelming number of people that have stepped forward, an entire page has been made to document them all.snuffbomb-victim-awareness.tum…
Now, as I'm sure you all clearly remember, I personally went through a rough patch with Snuffbomb myself not too long ago. The result was my removing him from the cast of "The Seer". However, in my public announcement of this, I did not share with you all the details of what all transpired that led up to the action. I will admit that it was because I was afraid. I was terrified that if I called him out for exactly what he was, I would be met by a tidal wave of hate, death threats, and attacks on my character. (Mind you even in the HIGHLY watered down, sugar coated version I gave you, I still got a truck load of these. Which as a result caused me so much distress I ended up taking a rather long hiatus from which I debated returning at all.) It is because of Comickit's courage to make a proper stand that I finally feel brave enough to tell you all EXACTLY why Snuffbomb was removed from the Seer, and effectively, my life as a whole.
I guess the best way to start this is all the way from the beginning I suppose. Snuff is quite literally the prime example of a "frenemy". When he came to me and asked to play Jeff in my series, MANY people told me it was a bad idea. They said that he had a history of using people, treating them like trash, and just flat out being a bad guy to work with. But I stupidly ignored them, because it's always been in my nature to want to give everyone a chance.
Well let me tell you, the crap started early. I used to do these group chats on places like TinyChat, and he would gather all the people there, and DEMAND I thank him for the success of the Seer. I kid you not. He did this on multiple occasions, and anyone who was there will remember this.
If that wasn't bad enough, during these public chats, he'd also use it as an opportunity to take swipes at my already incredibly low self esteem. In private, thinking he was my friend, I would divulge my fears and concerns to him. Then in these public chats, he would MAKE JOKES ABOUT THEM. In front of HUGE groups of people, he'd make fun of the things I'm most self conscious about, then play it off as "lol JK", like that took the trauma out of it and made it okay.
He obviously couldn't care less about hurting his "friends", as he trivialized my feelings to the point that when I tried to tell him just how much it bothered me, he immediately shifted blame onto me. I was the bad guy because I was obviously being too sensitive, and clearly my great insecurities were objects of immense hilarity, and I was a bitch for calling him out on it. In the end, every time he hurt me then immediately proceeded to guilt me, I ended up feeling even worse and apologizing to HIM.
For example, one of his favorite insecurities to abuse was my relationship status. The last few relationships I've been in have either been very brief, or ended VERY badly. So I've been single for a while now. And sometimes on my down days I tend to get in this mindset of "Well I guess I better get used to being alone, because I don't deserve anyone". --Well he very well knew this because I'd talked to him about it, but he still chose to strike that nerve any chance he got. He'd publicly make fun of it, and during one particular skype coversation between he and I, he felt it appropriate to joke about how he'd be dead before I'd find another boyfriend. This, mind you, RIGHT after telling him about how I had just broken up with the guy I had been seeing. I LITERALLY JUST BROKE UP and he felt the need to say that. Yeah, 'cause that's not going to haunt me for the rest of my damn life.
I wish I could say it ended there. But nope. I was still too stupid or deluded or whatever to cut him from my life at this point so the abuse continued. For example, I wrote my first pasta ever "The Crawlspace" and submitted it to CP.com. When I told Snuff about this, he decided he wanted to submit "Laughing Jack" at the same time. We both excitedly waited to hear of our status, and when the time came, my story was accepted, and "Laughing Jack" was rejected. Obviously he was pissed, and didn't even want to hear it when I said mine was accepted.
Well later on, the incredibly talented Mr.CreepyPasta, whom I didn't yet know at the time, read my pasta. I was ecstatic! I began telling my friends, whom congratulated me. Well, all except Snuff. He immediately demanded I thank him for it. You see, he claimed he was close friends with MCP, and that he only read my story because he pulled some strings and got him to do it.
By this point I had finally grown some backbone, and called him out on it. My story was on the front page and got a rating of 9.3, so I said I believed it got read because it had merit of its own.
Cue the waterworks and theatrics. He called me a tyrant and said that I never gave him credit when it was due for all his hard work and all he wanted "was a little thanks for everything he does for me".
Given the type of person I am, I immediately felt like shit and apologized and thanked him. Fast forward several months. I had gotten onto casual speaking terms MCP, and it was revealed to me that he barely knew Snuff, and he never once brought up my story. So let's clarify: Snuff made me feel like shit, and took the credit for my success over something he had NO RIGHT to, once again.
By this point, it was apparent that he was growing to detest me simply because I was starting to do well in the community. Person after person would come to me and say that he was talking shit about me and my series behind my back. I never brought this up to him, but I damn well knew he was doing it.
Oh! By the way, at this point I had become dearly close friends with MCP, whilst Snuff still hardly knew him and got jealous, so his natural instinct was to try to start rumors that our friendship was "inappropriate". And that I shouldn't spend so much time talking to MCP because he was in a relationship.
(This rumor was squashed pretty quickly, but it's just another example of him trying to start shit about me. I believe his most recent attempt was trying to tell people I'm homophobic. That one was also squashed, but we have PROOF that he is the source of it, even though he denies it)
If the backstabbing wasn't bad enough, I then found out that he had his fangirls form an "anti-seer" group, which began throwing things at me, like calling me racist, and making fun of my art skills. (I know I'm not great, but you don't have to be an ass) This group itself (for the short time it was around before being disbanded by my friends and readers) was incredibly distressing to me. I'd never had to deal with a group of people hating me for reasons beyond my control before. But that wasn't even the worst of it.
Kill art started popping up. Gruesome, incredibly graphic kill art. It was terrifying. At this point, I was starting to crack, and consider leaving the community. I saw he was online, and told him about all of it, hoping to get some comfort. There he first and foremost, called me "Madame Macrab" because apparently being upset by this stuff makes me a prude with no sense of humor. And then, told me that this just showed me who my real friends were, and that I shouldn't care what the haters say. He comforted me, and told me he was one of my real friends.
Now, this was the breaking point. Three months later (not a year, like he enjoys claiming) one of the artists stepped forward. They said that Snuff had been the one to organize the group and had commissioned the kill art. They apologized to me and said they had nothing against me, but he emotionally blackmailed them into making it, and had threatened them with his following.
This man who had previously been comforting me and telling me to appreciate my real friends had been holding the knife in my back the whole time. He was responsible for that shit that legitimately terrified me and made me consider leaving, and he was lying to my face, pretending to be my friend.
You're damn right I fired him after that.
As distressing as all of this was, it comes nowhere CLOSE to as bad as the things he has been doing to others. Just reading some of the accounts from these girls has had me in tears.
I'm sorry for not speaking up sooner. Perhaps if I had some of his victims could have had a proper heads up to steer clear of him. Please, to all of you. I love and care for my readers so very much. If any of you have suffered any form of abuse, I implore you to speak up. You don't deserve to be treated poorly. NO ONE should mistreat you. You do not have to take it. You are not alone, and you don't have to be afraid.