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Are highly intelligent or very talented people better able to hide their misery from loved ones, thus making it all the harder to “read” them and help them?

Vote! (55,349 votes) 1,166 comments
72,605 Deviants Online
Did you know that I know how to spot a fake apology? It's actually kind of like a super power of mine. But more to the point, a lot of people who get blocked on any of my various social media sites want to get around their blocking just to do whatever the hell they did to get them blocked, but some of them are genuinely repentant. How do you spot the difference, because to tell you the truth, it's not always easy. I'm going to go more into detail about this in Brian's a Bad Father because it has some of the worst, most half-assed non apologies that I've ever seen. Well mostly. Reality is stranger than fiction. But I'm going to use that episode as some of these examples, along with things that people have actually tried to say to me to pretty much do the same shit again.

How many first person pronouns do they use?

This is the rule of thumb. If there's a first person pronoun that doesn't involve "I'm sorry" or "I messed up pretty bad" or something along those lines, it's generally a bad apology. The apology is about the person who had been hurt, not about the person who hurt them. "I want to be your friend again." "I couldn't control myself" "I had a bad day" "Are you still my friend?" "I just miss you so much." A lot of these are just excuses, and we'll talk about that in a bit. But the more first person pronouns a person uses, the less genuine their apology is likely to be. The apology should be focusing on your feelings, not theirs. When an apology focuses on the person who did the hurting, what they're really saying is "I'm not sorry that you're hurt; I'm sorry that you're mad at me" or alternatively "accept my apology so I can scratch this off of my to-do list."


Believe it or not; if you're sorry, you actually don't need an excuse. Those people who say their only assholes because they have Asperger's Syndrome are definitely not sorry. Now, what if their excuse is true? Then they'll truly have regret for what they did and won't hide behind it unless they're lazy. There's actually one more excuse that I hate more than the "I have Asperger's so I can be a douche" excuse. It's the "You know that I didn't mean it." Apology will be denied on the spot because I really don't know if that's true, now do I? You didn't mean it. Right... except you did. Most "excuses" don't do much more than remove inhibitions, meaning that the original thoughts or feelings were still there. Bottom line, a genuine apology will NEVER (I cannot stress this enough) give you an excuse. Think about it. If there is a genuine excuse, then they're just going to do the same thing again and you're going to get hurt in the same way again.


On those same lines. "I'm sorry, but..." But will negate the sorry and will ramble into an excuse. Also in this, "I'm sorry if this sounds racist, but <insert fucked up conversation." No you're not because you're a racist.

They don't acknowledge what they actually did

This sounds obvious on the surface. But, "I'm sorry that I hurt you" sounds vastly different then "I'm sorry I forgot to feed your dog an caused him to run away." Maybe give them the benefit of the doubt in that they might actually not know what they did, so don't be vague about it. If you're willing to talk to this person again, tell them exactly what they did wrong, and give them time to process it.

The habit isn't broken

If the person your dealing with has alcoholism, drug addiction, or what have you, then you can't really forgive them until they've gone through getting themselves clean. Trust me on this one. If they're truly repentant then getting forgiveness should be incentive enough. That brings us to...

The Peter Griffin Scenario

In Brian's a Bad Father both the A-plot and the B-plot deals with forgiveness in an extremely half-assed way. At the start of the episode, Peter Griffin shoots Quagmire and that puts him in the wrong. Quagmire no longer wants nothing to do with him. Now, relating back to the real world (it's complicated. People in Family Guy get shot all the fucking time), let's just say that Peter hurt Quagmire through some continuous habit of his own. Quagmire's had enough, and he's actually in the right do so. Skipping to the end of the episode, Peter tells Quagmire to shoot him in order to make things even, to which Quagmire obliges. Who's the bad guy? Well... everyone. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind Quagmire, and even if you did shoot him it wouldn't stop Peter's carelessness from shooting you again. This solution would not solve the overall problem. Before an apology can be accepted, the problem that caused the pain must be removed or you're back to square one.

Here's the other thing. Peter wasn't truly repentant. He wanted Quagmire to say no. I'm not saying that he should have been shot; obviously, I just said the opposite. But it's an example of "I want your forgiveness because everyone thinks I'm a jerk" (because I hurt you). What I'm saying is that the apology-giver should be willing to make it up to the person who's been hurt. Here's how this should have gone down. When Quagmire took the gun, he should have had no intention to shoot, but to see how Peter reacted. Due to how Peter reacted, Quagmire would have refused the apology and the story could have ended with them making it up, instead of Peter suffering from severe brain damage.

The Brian Griffin Scenario

If Herpe, The Love Sore wasn't hanging over my shoulder, this would be Brian Griffin's worst appearance due to how he deals with apologizes. He didn't want to make up to his son until he had something to gain, you know, after skipping all of the hard parts of being a father. He pushes his limits too far without even thinking of his son, and when he gets booted he only thinks of himself. He doesn't think of how Dylan might have been embarrassed, how his credibility was tarnished (Brian got a job based on his word). Brian only thinks of himself. But actually, Stewie's line what pisses me off the most. "Isn't taking that risk (that you'll be hurt badly again) better than not having a dad?" No. Just no. Let me be clear. You don't forgive someone just after they say they're sorry, but that they regret what they did, specifically because it harmed that other person. Brian never does that. Ever, and Dylan probably won't appear again.

But back to the bottom line. This episode does piss me off in a very personal way, but it really has allowed to figure out who is being truthful and who just wants to mess with me again. It's not in the emotions either. There are some damn good actors in the world, but through the crocodile tears you've got to see the words and intentions. One final note, if someone says that they need a few days to think it over, you probably should listen, because not respecting their wishes shows off your apology as fake.

I think that I know what the next Growing Around episode is going to be about.
ok so a lot of people have asked me for Flash, vegas, and sai etc so I'm making a guide on how to get them from me for free!

(All the downloadable files listed besides the official Flash Cs6  and Painttool SAI download are files that I uploaded myself, and should contain no viruses.)

edit: all download links have been added!

note: Flash Cs6 only works on windows so far

Flash Cs6:

  • Install the trial version of Flash Cs6. Make sure you activate the TRIAL. If it asks for a code, just ignore that and click "start trial" or something. You can find it here:… under the "Adobe Flash Professional" tab
  • Once it's installed, download this file:
  • Locate C:\Program Files (x86)\Adobe\Adobe Flash CS6
  • Drag and drop amtlib.dll into that file and replace the one that's there
  • Reopen Flash, and it should be the full version.
Sony Vegas 12:

  • Run this installer to install sony vegas 12:
  • Download this patch:
  • After you successfully install Sony Vegas 12, run the Patch. If your computer is 32 bit, run the patch in the folder 32x, and if your computer is 64 bit, run the patch in the folder 64x.
  • Volume warning when you begin the patch there will be some loud and annoying music.
  • After the patch is ran, Sony Vegas 12 will be full version.
  • (Note: You need Winrar to open the patch folder)

PaintTool SAI:

  • Download the PaintTool SAI trial from
  • Simply note me your email, and I'll forward you the instructions and the license.
  • If you are reading this from Tumblr, use my ask box to note me your email: (If you're using anon I won't reply but I'll send it)

(BY the way nothing in here is legal except for PaintTool SAI but nobody really cares)

100 Points Giveaway!!

Thu Sep 18, 2014, 11:20 PM
Hello guys :wave:

How you are are? I am here hosting a small 100 points giveaway for you all!

To enter the contest just :+fav: Fav this journal
That's it!

Watches are also appreciated!

Its easy to do isn't it?

After faving the journal please answer these two questions.

:bulletred: What's your fav animal?

:bulletred: Who is your idol?

leave a comment answering these questions in this,its just I want to know cause I m crazy :la:

And also you can help me with even 1 :points: so that I continue doing these giveaways! 

Have fun guys...

your buddy Pandaster and yes the deadline is 1 October so hurry!!

You guys are crazy for putting up with me omg
It is time for a giveaway!

-You MUST be watching me (I will check)
-Favorite this journal
I will end this on Saturday, September 20th @ 9:00PM est
I will be using to pick the winner

For those who are part of the toko community:
You will receive a breeding to this boy
Eren M471 by TotemSpirit
AND a separate (or joint, up to you) breeding to this girl
Laija 141 by TotemSpirit

For those who are NOT a part of the toko community:
You will receive 3 full body shaded pictures with background of a character of your choosing. <3


Fri Sep 19, 2014, 10:30 AM
guess who's got +1k watchers?!?!?!?

Animated Rainbow Star Divider by GasaraAnimated Rainbow Star Divider by Gasara

omg me. :iconlazepoolplz:

i'm so happy that so many of you want to support me ;___;
i know that i've got a long road to be good artist and i know that i still make a lot of mistakes.
but drawing is very important to me that's why i'm super happy that someone appreciates my work >///<
anyway omg why i'm talking so much? let's get to the point :iconweepplz:


Thank you! by candykiki

it isn't probably enough but i really want to thank you through the new raffle!! <3

Animated Rainbow Star Divider by GasaraAnimated Rainbow Star Divider by Gasara

[-ai- ROMANCE] Red Heart Cupcake by GasaraRULES:[-ai- ROMANCE] Red Heart Cupcake by Gasara
1. be my watcher! <3
2. fav this journal to get a number c:
3. make a journal/poll about this and spread the word! ^o^
(more participants=more prizes!)

[-ai- ROMANCE] Red Heart Cupcake by Gasara PRIZES [-ai- ROMANCE] Red Heart Cupcake by Gasara


~Leithya~ by candykiki ~Cottonee~ by candykiki

[-ai- ROMANCE] Red Heart Cupcake by GasaraHOW MANY WINNERS?:[-ai- ROMANCE] Red Heart Cupcake by Gasara
0-50 participants - one winner
50-150 participants - two winners
150-250 participants - three winners

i will choose winner(s) with

Animated Rainbow Star Divider by GasaraAnimated Rainbow Star Divider by Gasara


Skin by SimplySilent

Frosty Festivities [Contest]

Thu Sep 18, 2014, 9:19 PM by cailas-moon:iconcailas-moon:

MAIN EVENT - All guilds welcome to participate.

Greetings, Guild members. It's my pleasure to speak to you under happier circumstances than the last time we met.

Now that the ninja assailants have been apprehended and it's safe for the Ambassador to move about freely, it's finally time to honor our Iaponese representative with the festivities that had been intended for her in the first place—and to show our appreciation for those who assisted in the capture of the agents. We don't ask that you entertain our Ambassador this time around. No, this time we ask that you be entertained.

The Hunters Guild, with the help of the Avalodge's proprietress Manisha, has put together quite the array of activities for this event. Outside there will be plenty of activities for the more boisterous sorts, with many of our native sports on display for those who wish to partake. Should you grow tired or would like to take a break from running about in the sun, the Avalodge offers a decidedly cool atmosphere to relax in, with plenty of food and drink to go around and soothing music to listen to as you relax in the company of your fellow guests and accommodations. Once the night falls I hear there will be a bonfire started outside for those who wish to try their hand at storytelling.

For those that wish to come and participate, all I ask is that you please do try not to get too rowdy. This is Ambassador Ayami's party, and we would very much dislike it if something happened to go awry.

That said, I shall leave it to fellow Guild Leaders Cassidy and Solstice to explain our events in greater detail.

Yo, Explorers Guild First Mate here! Yeah, yeah, Robin's tellin' us to keep it cool, but where's the fun in havin' a party without the party? Doesn't sound like much fun at all, so I took the liberty of settin' up a lil' bit of friendly competition to really get this party goin'.

It'll be between the three Guilds. The best teams participatin' in each event will rack up points for doin' good in 'em, and the Guild with the most points at the end of the day will take home... no, it ain't a trophy, I'm talkin' about braggin' rights! Though, if you're really outstandin', I guess you could get some kinda shiny medal for that. But anyway...

The first event'll be an ice sculptin' contest. The Avalugg and Cryogonal that work at the Avalodge donated some ice blocks for us to use. They're not huge, so we can't do anything too fancy with 'em, but if you're packin' Ice moves, you could probably give those blocks a bit of a Bulk Up, if y'know what I mean. Carve 'em into whatever you want, 's long as it's nothin' vulgar. Maybe stuff a lantern in there if you can, should light it up real nice. The best sculptures will earn the most points for their Guild.

Outside, we'll have a few sportin' events. Ol' Rowanhardt was nice enough to lend us some of his gear—balls, bats, n' racquets and the like—so anyone wantin' to do that can play badminton, cricket, or soccer. Heck, you could even make up your own sport if you wanna, 's long as you got a point system for it. Play hard and rack up those points, but... try ta take it easy on Ro's equipment; we don't wanna deliver his stuff back in pieces.

Next up, we've got bobbin' for apples. We'll have a tub of water set up. You'll lean over it—no hands if ya got 'em, and none of that Psychic stuff, we don't want any cheatin'—and try to grab an apple in your mouth. Fastest 'mons to pull one up will get the most points, but I figure it'd be kinda hard to do it slow since, uh, this water's pretty cold.

Robin mentioned somethin' about music, I think? We could turn that into a contest, too. Show off your dancin' skills, by yourself, with a partner, whatever, but make it good. You could even toss in a special technique or two to add a bit of style to your moves, but just try not to wreck anythin' while you're doin' it.

And last but not least, probably when the party's winding down a bit we'll go gather 'round the bonfire outside and have a storytellin' contest. Like pretty much everythin' else, we don't want nothin' too mature, but aside from that, you can go nuts. Tell scary stories, or tales of old explorations, or some funny thing that happened to your buddy last week. We even got a couple a' them Iaponese masks if you wanna liven up your storytellin' a bit, too; make it real authentic-like.

After that, the Guild Leaders will all total up the teams' efforts, and the one that wins gets the braggin' rights for bein' the best party Guild. So alla y'all Explorers do us proud and show those Hunters and Researchers who can party hardest 'round 'ere, yeah!

It looks like this party is shaping up to be quite the affair! For those of you who would like to come, but wouldn't prefer to spend the time with the more, shall we say, enthusiastic party-goers, we have a few smaller activities being held inside. If anyone would like a festive change in appearance, we have some volunteers who will be doing face-painting. For refreshments, the party is well supplied with a wide range of Andalusstian and Iaponese drinks, all crafted by skilled locals and all available for patrons to taste-test—though we'd like to ask teams to please keep under-age members away from the alcoholic beverages.

If you would rather enjoy the party atmosphere but still contribute to dungeon exploration preparations, a small team of Researchers headed by yours truly will be working in the far corner of the Avalodge gathering samples and conducting studies on the properties of Nevermeltice. Having chests lined with Nevermeltice would be very helpful for preserving dungeon finds, especially for the duration of our stay in Geoda. Any help in this regard would be greatly appreciated.

Of course, teams are more than welcome to simply show up and enjoy the party on their own terms however they'd like. None of these events are by any means mandatory, so please don't feel pressured to participate if you'd rather not. This function is meant to allow others to relax and enjoy themselves, not force anyone into doing something they feel is outside their comfort zone.



All teams that submit an entry before the deadline, whether in a collaboration or standalone, will automatically be eligible for a standard reward.

Body Paint
This item allows members to add an additional color of their choosing to one of their Pokemon in the form of markings. It cannot be used to color the entirety of the Pokemon another color, and designs should refrain from covering 50% or more of the Pokemon's body. Designs should not be vulgar.

Third Place entries will receive body paint and the winner's choice of either one Iaponese mask or one paper lantern Tool.

Iaponese Mask
A hand-crafted mask commonly used in Iaponese plays and performances, representing a demon or evil spirit. *This item can be customized with Star Coins or a customization voucher, but you cannot change the colors at the start like you can with Guild-issue templates.* (However the base shape may be changed freely at the start to fit the head of the owner if needed.)

Paper Lantern
A lantern carefully constructed with thin, high-quality paper. A small candle rests in its center, casting light that is visible even in far-off darkness. Allows the use of Follow Me. (The paper's design may be set by the owner upon receiving it.)

Second Place entries will receive body paint, their choice of the mask or lantern, and a sketch of the teams from cailas-moon.

First Place entries will receive body paint, special Medal accessories, and full art of the teams done by ChillySunDance.

Winner's Medal
A super shiny golden medal earned for pure awesomeness. *sparkle sparkle*

*Members who rank in placing may choose a reward from a lower rank if they prefer (ex. 1st place choosing the 2nd place reward).


Welcome to PMDU's first anniversary, everyone!

First off, we'd like to thank you guys for sticking by us for all this time, a whole year! It sounds like such a long time and yet it flew on by before we knew it. Lots of art and writing was made, we found folks—some old faces and plenty of new ones—to share our stories with, and made a machine to log it all! That's quite something!

But, as most of you are aware, things aren't perfect in the group's dynamic. We here in the admin team have been listening (and are still listening) for ways to make the group a much more enjoyable one to participate in, this contest being the first of hopefully several pushes in this new direction. Yes, you read right, a contest! Here, we're aiming to celebrate both our members and the group's core tenets in something of a change of pace! While there will be chances for members to be in the spotlight later down the line, we feel like we should start this trend with a bang rather than rolling it in on a trolley, so to speak.

Now, don't pout quite yet if you can't paint a Mona Lisa or write like Shakespeare! Our judging criteria is centered more around members' stories being a cohesive work rather something that only dazzles upon first inspection. Judging will be broken into two placement categories—art and writing—and will be based on the participating members' ability to execute in three key pillars: character, community, and consistency.


There may be more than one of your team's species in the group, but their personality, their character is what makes them unique and sticks in the minds of readers! Judges will be looking for entries which show a member's command in expanding upon or playing with their team's personality, virtues/vices, or personal history in the context of the contest prompt without interrupting the story's flow or leaving the reader confused as to who they really are!

This wouldn't be PMD Unity if we were all in this alone, right? As such, submissions interacting with other members through collaborations and/or cameos will be given favor over those that do not. Members who manage to tie these efforts with the first criteria will be looked upon especially favorably, but is is not mandatory.

For those of you that would still like to try for this but without as much social interaction member-wise, the Atlas has a search function that will allow members to find any teams that don't require permission for cameos. Members should still credit these teams in the descriptions of their submissions, but outright asking isn't necessary.

No deadline crunches here! All entries will have to remain of the same quality/style through the entirety of the submission to be looked upon favorably by the judges. Doing something in full color? You'll have to make all of your pages full color. Writing 2,000 words for each activity? You can't scribble out one sentence transitions for the last few pages. Members will have to pace themselves, their resources, and their stories in order to do well in this category!

:new: NEW: The second place and third place ranks have been expanded! Instead of one winner for each per medium, we now have one first place, two second place, and three third place winners per medium. Good luck to all participants! :new:


1.) As usual, only teams shown participating may receive rewards for the contest.

2.) FOR COLLABS: The "Consistency" clause will mainly be used to evaluate entries which have teams that belong to two (or more) collab partners. The greater the discrepancy between the apparent level of detail between each collab partner's contribution, the less favorably the submission as a whole will be seen in the eyes of the judges.
   2b.) Winning teams will be judged by just that: teams. Separate teams, even within the same submission, will be judged differently, so it's possible for one team to be placed first while the other goes unranked in a collab of two teams. Make those interactions count!
   2c.) In the case where all the participants in a winning collaborative submission have been determined to have contributed to a sufficient degree, the item rewards for the place will be cloned for each participant's team. Drawn rewards, however, will only be of ONE of said teams.

3.) FOR HYBRIDS: The "Consistency" clause also applies here; large gaps of detail between the two medium halves will be looked upon unfavorably.
   3b.) Hybrid entries will be judged in the category in which they are most prominently done.

Writing judges: :iconinlinemantine::iconnarelith::iconthetravelinbuizel:

Art judges: :iconcailas-moon::iconchobin-hood::icondurkasao:

The contest will be running for 30 days, ending at 11:59 PM GMT-0 on October 19. Entries should contain a link to the participating team's official application(s), and should be submitted to the Contests folder here in the group. A slot on the Atlas will be opened up likely sometime within the next few days, but entries submitted there will not be verified until after the deadline. However, if you still have not registered your team on the Atlas, please do so as soon as you can so you can be eligible for contest participation.

Thanks for sticking with PMDU through this past year, everyone. Let's continue to make the group an awesome place for the years to come!

Ayami's invitation and item icons by :iconcrazyiguana: and character icons by :iconhaychel:.


Fri Sep 19, 2014, 1:14 AM

new pokemon and new evolutions!

a new mega evolution!

Hope this Fakemon Friday was satisfying. Sadly, this will be the last of Fakemon Fridays :"(
I'll submit these soon when I'm not such a lazy fuck. Byeee.

if you're sad just remember

Journal Entry: Thu Sep 18, 2014, 9:21 PM

Oops. Write your signature, Please!

Halloween Mini Event!! [YCH contest]

Journal Entry: Fri Sep 19, 2014, 4:07 AM
Tumblr l Twitter l Commission Info l FAQ l Gallery


hello all!! so, if i haven't been dropping enough hints already, i've been wanting to celebrate my favorite month with you guys! I thought about just doing a simple candy giveaway, but then i figured 1) why would you want to eat candies from a stranger over the internet? and 2) i'll probably eat them all anyway...! after looking at some suggestions from you guys, i've decided to go along with the YCH mini contest! 


the rules are pretty simple!
- draw your oc in a halloween costume of your choosing! feel free to design new costumes as well!
- only one entry/oc per person please!
- this contest is for watchers only, but new watchers are always welcome!
- upload your entries to deviantart (not or any other image sharing site) with "halloween contest entry for :iconlaenia:" in the description and either leave a comment here with the link to your entry, or note me with it
- humanoids only please! sorry to anyone else, but this is a YCH contest and i can't draw animals to save my life ;o;
- any medium is accepted, so long as it's a drawn reference!
- the image submitted must be drawn specifically for this contest


- i'll be the only judge this time around! (since, y'know, i'm the one drawing the halloween picture hehe)
- this contest isn't really based on skill, but rather how much i like the design of your character!
- "halloweenieness"? is key!!! 


- there will be three winners!
- each winner will be featured in a halloween-themed picture drawn by me
[i'll stick a preview here once i finish up one last commish...!]
- in addition to that, each winner will receive 100 points
- the winners will be announced on halloween when i finish the final piece!

view all entries here:…

i wanted this one to be a bit smaller than the summer contest i held earlier, but i hope everyone still participates and has fun!! ;w;

CSS made by TwiggyTeeluck
Image from
since the Dewthecat incident and drama way before i have two cinnadogs that i revoked from his hands
they may be fake or not but i will make the official for the new owner and draw small colored sketch for them

i have a choice to keep them, sell or give them away
since i do not wish to own any of these two i wished to give them away to a home who will actually use them
if i catch you trying to sell/trade them i will revoke them from your hands, these are GIVEN means you may not profit off of them
as profit i mean / trade for art / another character(s) (any cinnadog can have a profit to earn higher or lower characters) and sell alone

The cinnadogs i am giving away are // - Cookie > TransiOkami - Sail > Neo-Neo-Kun
reason why i picked these two because i was mainly looking at people who never owned a cinnadog?
i was just about to pick people who did then i was like "wait" why not give it to people who never had one then give an extra one who can get just get another one ;w; cinnadogs prices has gone through the roof before cinnabutt stop doing customs and the MYOs so i can relate to how are it can be for none popular artists
sail's new home choice is quite hard since a lot of people wanted him? i was literally going back n forth between three people, just i was still stuck on one person that i know who would give them a wonderful home but i did not pick them since they already had a cinnadog

also to the people who said " i draw my cinnadogs daily and have loads of mine, or will get loads of art for Sail/Cookie"
- i was not looking for that kind of answer if you gave a reason, to me getting it art does not purely mean you are giving it enough attention to call it a good home, it means how much you like it and cherish it in your heart, getting art or even draw for it actually shows how much you love it, not getting commissions or art just what is on the inside uvu

just comment below, i will be choosing who may never owned a cinnadog or who will actually use it!
will be picking on the 19th of September