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Are highly intelligent or very talented people better able to hide their misery from loved ones, thus making it all the harder to “read” them and help them?

Vote! (54,891 votes) 1,158 comments
32,204 Deviants Online
Did you know that I know how to spot a fake apology? It's actually kind of like a super power of mine. But more to the point, a lot of people who get blocked on any of my various social media sites want to get around their blocking just to do whatever the hell they did to get them blocked, but some of them are genuinely repentant. How do you spot the difference, because to tell you the truth, it's not always easy. I'm going to go more into detail about this in Brian's a Bad Father because it has some of the worst, most half-assed non apologies that I've ever seen. Well mostly. Reality is stranger than fiction. But I'm going to use that episode as some of these examples, along with things that people have actually tried to say to me to pretty much do the same shit again.

How many first person pronouns do they use?

This is the rule of thumb. If there's a first person pronoun that doesn't involve "I'm sorry" or "I messed up pretty bad" or something along those lines, it's generally a bad apology. The apology is about the person who had been hurt, not about the person who hurt them. "I want to be your friend again." "I couldn't control myself" "I had a bad day" "Are you still my friend?" "I just miss you so much." A lot of these are just excuses, and we'll talk about that in a bit. But the more first person pronouns a person uses, the less genuine their apology is likely to be. The apology should be focusing on your feelings, not theirs. When an apology focuses on the person who did the hurting, what they're really saying is "I'm not sorry that you're hurt; I'm sorry that you're mad at me" or alternatively "accept my apology so I can scratch this off of my to-do list."


Believe it or not; if you're sorry, you actually don't need an excuse. Those people who say their only assholes because they have Asperger's Syndrome are definitely not sorry. Now, what if their excuse is true? Then they'll truly have regret for what they did and won't hide behind it unless they're lazy. There's actually one more excuse that I hate more than the "I have Asperger's so I can be a douche" excuse. It's the "You know that I didn't mean it." Apology will be denied on the spot because I really don't know if that's true, now do I? You didn't mean it. Right... except you did. Most "excuses" don't do much more than remove inhibitions, meaning that the original thoughts or feelings were still there. Bottom line, a genuine apology will NEVER (I cannot stress this enough) give you an excuse. Think about it. If there is a genuine excuse, then they're just going to do the same thing again and you're going to get hurt in the same way again.


On those same lines. "I'm sorry, but..." But will negate the sorry and will ramble into an excuse. Also in this, "I'm sorry if this sounds racist, but <insert fucked up conversation." No you're not because you're a racist.

They don't acknowledge what they actually did

This sounds obvious on the surface. But, "I'm sorry that I hurt you" sounds vastly different then "I'm sorry I forgot to feed your dog an caused him to run away." Maybe give them the benefit of the doubt in that they might actually not know what they did, so don't be vague about it. If you're willing to talk to this person again, tell them exactly what they did wrong, and give them time to process it.

The habit isn't broken

If the person your dealing with has alcoholism, drug addiction, or what have you, then you can't really forgive them until they've gone through getting themselves clean. Trust me on this one. If they're truly repentant then getting forgiveness should be incentive enough. That brings us to...

The Peter Griffin Scenario

In Brian's a Bad Father both the A-plot and the B-plot deals with forgiveness in an extremely half-assed way. At the start of the episode, Peter Griffin shoots Quagmire and that puts him in the wrong. Quagmire no longer wants nothing to do with him. Now, relating back to the real world (it's complicated. People in Family Guy get shot all the fucking time), let's just say that Peter hurt Quagmire through some continuous habit of his own. Quagmire's had enough, and he's actually in the right do so. Skipping to the end of the episode, Peter tells Quagmire to shoot him in order to make things even, to which Quagmire obliges. Who's the bad guy? Well... everyone. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind Quagmire, and even if you did shoot him it wouldn't stop Peter's carelessness from shooting you again. This solution would not solve the overall problem. Before an apology can be accepted, the problem that caused the pain must be removed or you're back to square one.

Here's the other thing. Peter wasn't truly repentant. He wanted Quagmire to say no. I'm not saying that he should have been shot; obviously, I just said the opposite. But it's an example of "I want your forgiveness because everyone thinks I'm a jerk" (because I hurt you). What I'm saying is that the apology-giver should be willing to make it up to the person who's been hurt. Here's how this should have gone down. When Quagmire took the gun, he should have had no intention to shoot, but to see how Peter reacted. Due to how Peter reacted, Quagmire would have refused the apology and the story could have ended with them making it up, instead of Peter suffering from severe brain damage.

The Brian Griffin Scenario

If Herpe, The Love Sore wasn't hanging over my shoulder, this would be Brian Griffin's worst appearance due to how he deals with apologizes. He didn't want to make up to his son until he had something to gain, you know, after skipping all of the hard parts of being a father. He pushes his limits too far without even thinking of his son, and when he gets booted he only thinks of himself. He doesn't think of how Dylan might have been embarrassed, how his credibility was tarnished (Brian got a job based on his word). Brian only thinks of himself. But actually, Stewie's line what pisses me off the most. "Isn't taking that risk (that you'll be hurt badly again) better than not having a dad?" No. Just no. Let me be clear. You don't forgive someone just after they say they're sorry, but that they regret what they did, specifically because it harmed that other person. Brian never does that. Ever, and Dylan probably won't appear again.

But back to the bottom line. This episode does piss me off in a very personal way, but it really has allowed to figure out who is being truthful and who just wants to mess with me again. It's not in the emotions either. There are some damn good actors in the world, but through the crocodile tears you've got to see the words and intentions. One final note, if someone says that they need a few days to think it over, you probably should listen, because not respecting their wishes shows off your apology as fake.

I think that I know what the next Growing Around episode is going to be about.
ok so a lot of people have asked me for Flash, vegas, and sai etc so I'm making a guide on how to get them from me for free!

(All the downloadable files listed besides the official Flash Cs6  and Painttool SAI download are files that I uploaded myself, and should contain no viruses.)

edit: all download links have been added!

note: Flash Cs6 only works on windows so far

Flash Cs6:

  • Install the trial version of Flash Cs6. Make sure you activate the TRIAL. If it asks for a code, just ignore that and click "start trial" or something. You can find it here:… under the "Adobe Flash Professional" tab
  • Once it's installed, download this file:
  • Locate C:\Program Files (x86)\Adobe\Adobe Flash CS6
  • Drag and drop amtlib.dll into that file and replace the one that's there
  • Reopen Flash, and it should be the full version.
Sony Vegas 12:

  • Run this installer to install sony vegas 12:
  • Download this patch:
  • After you successfully install Sony Vegas 12, run the Patch. If your computer is 32 bit, run the patch in the folder 32x, and if your computer is 64 bit, run the patch in the folder 64x.
  • Volume warning when you begin the patch there will be some loud and annoying music.
  • After the patch is ran, Sony Vegas 12 will be full version.

PaintTool SAI:

  • Download the PaintTool SAI trial from
  • Simply note me your email, and I'll forward you the instructions and the license.
  • If you are reading this from Tumblr, use my ask box to note me your email: (If you're using anon I won't reply but I'll send it)

(BY the way nothing in here is legal except for PaintTool SAI but nobody really cares)

Star! 1000 Points  Raffle Star!

How to enter?  

All you have to do is +fav this journal. :happybounce:


1st random - 500Points
random - 250Points
random - 250Points

The random winners will be picked using the sites "True Random Number Generator" to pick the lucky winners from the favourited list.

Closes on 21st of September.
Good luck to you all! :squee: 
  • Mood: Optimism
  • Listening to: The Dreamer - Kung Fu Vampire
  • Playing: Dramatical Murder Re:Connect
  • Drinking: Mountain Dew
In our continuous effort to improve the deviantART experience, we're publishing weekly Site Updates to keep members informed and to gather feedback. Below is a list of recent changes to the site, bug fixes, and feedback that was brought up by members in the last Site Update.

What's New

New Beta Tester Features: Site Navigation, Activity Feeds & Status Updates

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Read more »

Watchable Collections are Coming

As part of the new Activity Feed feature that's been released to our Beta Testers, Collections can now be watched, and will display on the Activity Feed when deviations are added to them. Watching deviants' Favourites has been a long-requested feature, and we're happy to offer a new way to discover art!

If you’d prefer not to have a Collection displayed in other deviants' Activity Feeds, simply visit that Collection, click the "Collection Options" button in the top right, and select the "Disable watching" checkbox (unwatchable Collections are still displayed on your Favourites page).

Site Outages

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Change Log

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  • The autocomplete menu for tags on the Submit page would sometimes stall on "Searching...". Fixed by kemayo
  • Literature deviations created more than a year ago and edited with a new version could still contain an older draft of the work instead of the current version, when selecting "Download". Fixed by trezoid

Your Feedback

Thank you for the feedback on last week's Site Update! Here's some of the commentary you left for us:
  • In response to the Discuss topic, generally deviants mentioned that they don't comment on Collections made by other deviants.
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Quality Collections

Find a good Collection made by another deviant that you like and share it with us! What in particular caught your eye about that Collection?

Mystery. Moon goddess by Vasylina
(Mystery. Moon goddess by Vasylina, found in neurotype's Collection digital)

Lightbulb Have a suggestion, idea, or feedback? Leave a comment here!
Lightbulb Check out a list of common suggestions!
Lightbulb Want to keep track of known issues? Check out our Status Forum!
:bug: Find a bug? Report it to the Help Desk! (Be as detailed as possible!)

You guys are crazy for putting up with me omg
It is time for a giveaway!

-You MUST be watching me (I will check)
-Favorite this journal
I will end this on Saturday, September 20th @ 9:00PM est
I will be using to pick the winner

For those who are part of the toko community:
You will receive a breeding to this boy
Eren M471 by TotemSpirit
AND a separate (or joint, up to you) breeding to this girl
Laija 141 by TotemSpirit

For those who are NOT a part of the toko community:
You will receive 3 full body shaded pictures with background of a character of your choosing. <3

(Note: This raffle is for art only!!! Breedings through point sales may come at a later time. Do NOT offer points or USD on this journal.)
Drogo 515 by TotemSpiritDaenerys 514 by TotemSpirit
The following raffle is for the ownership of the following geno!
(At the moment, this is the only offer for a dire build tokota.)

1 Male, Natural mane, Dire build
Submissive - healthy
Marked graying tawny with pangare, accents, and blanket

How it works!
Tiamat 550 by TotemSpirit
A fullbody, colored image of Tiamat 550 will earn you one ticket.
A fullbody, colored image with a complex background of
Tiamat 550 will earn you two tickets.
A fullbody, colored image with a complex background and fullbody handler of
Tiamat 550 will earn you three tickets.
- Traditional and digital art both accepted equally, but you must put at least decent effort in, please. Chibis and five minute sketches will be rejected.
- You may absolutely participate if you do not own a tokota.
- You may make as many ticket entries as you'd like.
- Shading preferred - but nothing too elaborate is expected.
- You can include your own tokota and/or rider.
- Tracing is allowed from stock picture photos.
- Will be judged 100% randomly using

DEADLINE: 10/31/14


Comment below with links to entries

Stock & Resources

Broadly defined, Action Stock is any photo-reference in which the subject is doing SOMETHING. That 'something' does not need to be extreme or particularly kinetic, it just has to show the effects of various forces on the bodies (or other objects) in the image. Perusing an artifact, sitting on someone's knee, even enjoying the aroma of a cup of coffee are great examples of actions that, when explored as stock images, can be of great value to artists.

Bridger Mehmood (9) by anyman82 ~ Lovers 8 by kirilee ~ Hot Cuppa Sitting Preview by Null-Entity

Of course, there is nothing wrong with extreme, kinetic, over-the-top actions, either...

Weapons Wench 40 by kirilee ~ A Gentleman's Last Act Dive 13 by Null-Entity ~ Finish Him - Pose Reference for Drawing by SenshiStock ~ Street Fighter 11 by syccas-stock

It's worth stating the obvious: if you are interested in exploring the more "kinetic" end of the action spectrum, know your limits. Don't work beyond your skill level and observe all necessary safety precautions; no shot is worth getting hurt over.

Consider the visible effects of forces on objects when designing the shot. Clothing, hair, and body position/tension are the things that most clearly show gravity and motion.

WUC13 - 3 by jademacalla ~ The Stick 2 by DaeStock ~ Sci-fi Geisha 45 by kirilee ~ Otherworld Remix 9 by lindowyn-stock

Sometimes you may have to hack gravity a little but...

Melted Wings 6 by PirateLotus-Stock ~ Traveller 11 by dazzle-stock

As with any photo-reference image, action shots can benefit from the addition of interesting/unexpected angles and foreshortening.

Operator Soldier Stock - 53 by Nemesis-19 ~ Pose Reference stock 1 - Falling by charligal-stock ~ RTA_Preview by jademacalla ~ Staff Perspective - Pose Reference by SenshiStock

Likewise, subject orientation gives the artists who use action shots more options...

Apoc-Survivor (33) by anyman82 ~ Treasure Hunter-50 by Nemesis-19 ~ F2_AA_03 - Preview by jademacalla ~ Alanna41 by faestock

The subjects of gear and technique are too broad for this forum, but it's probably worth mentioning that you should understand your gear well enough to get the result you want. If you want to freeze your subject in mid-flight you need enough light to allow for the appropriately fast shutter speed; generally this means the use of either strobes or daylight.

REQ13_mr_boom3 by jademacalla ~ Jump 21 by DaeStock ~ Chandar 4 by b-e-c-k-y-stock ~ MAT_05 by jademacalla

If you've never played around with action-oriented stock images I hope you'll give it a try; the main thing is to have fun and be careful.  The sky's the limit.

hawaii exclusives 6 by magikstock ~ Forest Queen 22 by kirilee ~ Ascend And Reach - Eye Level 03 by Null-Entity ~  Southron Archer 4 by lindowyn-stock

[Giveaway] 400 WATCHERS / 14 500 PAGEVIEWS

Journal Entry: Thu Sep 18, 2014, 9:29 AM

Guys, you're the best.

I can't believe this; 400 watchers? AND 14 500 PAGEVIEWS?

...That's a lot of attention for a simple 14-years-old school girl like me.

So I decided to make my first Giveaway! 

Animated Color Bullets Animated Color Bullets Animated Color Bullets GIVEAWAYAnimated Color Bullets Animated Color Bullets Animated Color Bullets 

This is the 400th watcher milestone. 

The 1st place will win 700 :points:

The 2nd place will win 300 :points:

The 3nd place will win 150 :points:

The winners will be chosen via random. The deadline is the  28th of September 2014, Midnight GMT.

How to enter?

+fav Fave this Journal.

+favlove Tag at least 3 friends in a comment and invite them to take part, too.


I want deviants to watch me for my art, not for giveaway-stuff. So for entering, you don't need to watch me. Please only do that if you like my art and want to see more of it, because that's the true purpose of Added to my devWatch! .(I still appreciate every watcher, but I won't make you watch me for this!)

I will reply to your comment with a number, and this will be your entry number. If you tag more than 10 friends, you get the chance to receive a bonus entry!

Thanks for your great support! I Heart  you!

Pixel Journal Doll for Konarika by Starrypoke

100 Points Giveaway!!

Thu Sep 18, 2014, 11:20 PM
Hello guys :wave:

How you are are? I am here hosting a small 100 points giveaway for you all!

To enter the contest just :+fav: Fav this journal
That's it!

Watches are also appreciated!

Its easy to do isn't it?

After faving the journal please answer these two questions.

:bulletred: What's your fav animal?

:bulletred: Who is your idol?

leave a comment answering these questions in this,its just I want to know cause I m crazy :la:

And also you can help me with even 1 :points: so that I continue doing these giveaways! 

Have fun guys...

your buddy Pandaster and yes the deadline is 1 October so hurry!!