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Cheating.

It never really crossed your mind.

True you were tempted, albeit too much, but you managed.

But after taking one look at him made you want to do it.

‘You can’t _____! It’s wrong!’ Your Jiminy Cricket voice screamed.

You replied, “I don’t give a crap anymore! It’s the only thing left to do” With your index finger you beckoned him over. The Asguardian leisurely made his way over to you. He put his slender hand on the table you were sitting at and said, “Do you have an answer for me yet?”

You gulped. ‘This is it. There is no turning back’ You looked up at his beautiful emerald eyes. “I have decided…. No”

He pulled away shocked, “No? What do you mean no?!”

You grinned as you stood up from your chair. “No. I don’t want to cheat”

 “Are you serious? I did this for you!”

You laughed, “Loki honestly if I wanted to cheat on my exam I would have stolen the answer key myself”

He was beyond confused. “But you were the one complaining night and day that you wished you had the answer key in order to pass your class?!”

You walked away to grab your backpack and push the Stark Tower elevator button to go down. “I was only complaining. I didn’t mean it! Besides I only have to go to school for 6 more months. I cannot wait until I am done so I can become a full-fledged Avenger!” You flicked your wrist and immediately Loki’s helmet appeared on top of your head.

“But thanks anyway. Love you Loki~!” You kissed the side of your boyfriend’s cheek before he pulled off his helmet from you.

“Feh Avengers. Why not join the dark side?” He smirked.

“Does the dark side have cookies?”

He was caught off guard, “What? No-“

“Then no. Bye!” You skipped into the elevator and headed to school.

 

~~~~~~~~~~Timeskip Of From the Devious Planning from Your Midguardian Boyfriend~~~~~~~

 

“The Third Law of Thermodynamics states- oh crap I forgot!”

You hit your head on the table with a groan. Your classmate next to you gave you a strange look before turning back to finish her test.

Tears threatened to form in your eyes. ‘How can the teacher do this to me?!’ You thought, ‘Why did Mr. Jerkof purposely put problems he barely discussed into the test? It’s not fair!’

You considered turning in your test half complete when you heard a faintly audible whisper from behind your ear, “______”

You nearly fell out of your seat. You recognized that voice. “L-Loki?” You searched behind you but you couldn’t see him.

He snickered, “Yes”

You gasped, “Are you invisible? Nevermind- What the hell are you doing here? I am taking an exam!”

“I came to watch you do your test” If you could see him, you would see his amused expression.

“No that’s creepy! Go-“

“______ no talking!” Your teacher sternly told you.

You meekly nodded, “Yes sir” You faced in the general direction where you assumed Loki was at and harshly whispered, “If I get in trouble I am so going to break up with you! Now go away” You turned back to work on your test.

Loki struggled not to laugh at your empty threat and instead observed you. Deciding it was taking too long he breathed down your neck and you squeaked.

Mr. Jerkof raised his head, “Miss ______ do you need to go outside?”

“No sir! There is an annoying Frost Giant bugging me” You tried to smack Loki but your hand hit nothing.

Mr. Jerkof shook his head, “You kids and your imagination” and went back to his iPad.

You went back to your exam and huffed, “What do you want Loki? Do you want me to fail?”

“No, love. I actually have a present for you” He took out the answer key.

“Gah!” You covered your mouth before uttering, “Are you trying to get me suspended or expelled??”

“I thought if you changed your mind, I could give the key to you”

You were quiet for a second. Finally you responded, “I am not sure if I should be flattered you did this for me or insulted that you thought I would take it”

His cold hand touched yours. “It’s not hard ______. All you have to do is take it”

You shook. His voice was so sensual.

“Do it, _____. Cheat”

“No”

“Cheat” His invisible lips lightly touched your cheek.

“N-No”

“Cheat” Teasingly he put his lips onto yours for a second before raising the answer key at eyelevel.

You squeezed your eyes shut, ‘Damn he’s good’

Slowly as if your hand had a mind of its own took the small paper from his hand and your other hand started scribbling.

Loki sneered. ‘She has joined the dark side~’

You left your seat and turned in your completed test. Once you left the room, you felt guilty and enthralled.

“What have I done?”

“An evil thing” Your boyfriend replied.

You jumped and turned around.

Loki wasn’t invisible anymore thus allowing you to hit his chest. “Thanks Loki as if I don’t feel guilty enough!”

He put his hands on your waist and pulled you close, “Now don’t lie _____. You know you felt a bit of a rush”

You turned away, “I didn’t”

“You did. You can’t lie to the God of Mischief”

 “Whatever” An idea popped into your head. “Speaking of….Did you forget I could do this?” You snapped your fingers and you were wearing his cloak.

“How do I look?”  You batted your eyes.

He narrowed his eyes. No one was allowed to touch the cloak.  “Take. It. Off. Now”

You snickered, “That’s what she said!” and ran.

 

~~~Timeskip Of Good Girl Reader-chan gone Bad~~~~

 

“I wonder where _____ is?” Pepper asked.

Tony shrugged, “Probably doing something nerdy” He changed the channel bored.

The elevator door opened.

Tony and Pepper’s gaze flickered to it and were shocked to see you wearing Loki’s clothes!

“What the f-?” Tony began.

You grinned. “You like? It’s Loki’s~” After you stepped out of the elevator, Loki came out with your clothes on.

Pepper giggled from behind her hand and Tony pulled out his iPhone dying from laughter. “Good one ____!”

You bowed, “I figured I should put my powers to good use”

Tony nodded and pointed his iPhone to you and Loki, “Say cheese for Insta!”

“Don’t you dare, mortal!” Loki bellowed.

 

*Click!*

Misunderstandings from the first few sentences! Lawl! Did I trick anyone?

Personal Experience #1: So one time when I was in 7th grade I was tempted to cheat on a test. Of course I was tempted but I figured that I could get caught so I didn't. (but I ALMOST did)  A few days later the person who offered me the answer key got in trouble along with three other people... so moral of the story: don't cheat; UNLESS you have a Loki! Neko Emoji-25 (Cool) [V2] 

Comment, fav, whateves! You guys make me smile :3 (also tell me if you had the same experience or just want to talk!) 

Have a happy day and I am going to write something BIG as a celebration on being on DA for a full year! Mabelpines 
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Prussia x Reader: Searching for someone awesome.

Gilbert sighed and glanced over at his two best friends: Antonio and Francis. The two were chatting with two lovely girls whilst Gilbert sat at the bar; bored beyond imagination. The German was normally adored by the ladies, but lately it seemed as if his charm had faded. The girls ignored him rather than falling head over heels for him. Gilbert thought of his best friend _____, she had been joking around a lot about Gilbert’s lack of girls staying over recently. Gilbert couldn’t get mad at her though, she was way too precious to him. He loved everything about her; her humor, smile and laugh. He hated to admit it but Gilbert did develop a crush on the (h/c)-haired girl, he wouldn’t dare to speak of it with his mates so he kept it a secret. He hated when other nations flirted with the young woman; his heart breaking apart every time it happened. Francis and Antonio had noticed the weird behavior of his friend lately and took him out, what Gilbert didn’t know that he’d be left at the bar for some stupid girls. Francis and Antonio walked towards Gilbert, Antonio smiling at Gilbert. They both had a girl by their side, their hands placed on their waists.

“Ah Gilbert! Francis and me are going home with these beautiful señoras. Are you going to stay here Gilbert?” Antonio asked, Gilbert shrugged making Francis chuckle. “All right zhen, we’re going ladies.” Francis added, Gilbert sighed again. His mind was all fuzzy because of the beer he’d drank, the booze had also given him a red colour on his cheeks and at the top of his ears. He was drunk and you could have seen it from a mile away. Gilbert didn’t care though, he rested his head on his hand and closed his eyes for a moment. As he opened them he glanced over at the barman, smirking he raised his finger: “Eyh! Barman give zhis awesome German another beer will ya?” He slurred, the barman laughed at the drunk man before him and poured him another glass of beer. As he placed the beer in front of Gilbert, he grabbed the glass and threw his head back; drinking the glass empty at once. He groaned as he laid his head on the bar, he crossed his arms. He just wanted to drink the night away and forget about all that had happened. He was left alone at a bar by his best friends, no girlfriend and the loneliness was really getting him down. He looked at the barman again.

“Vhat are you lookin’ at? Pour me another beer!” He groaned, the man nodded and poured the Albino another beer. ‘This is going to be a long night.’ Gilbert thought to himself.


~~Your P.O.V~~


You cursed your boss under your breath, that jerk made you work all evening. Your hair was in a messy bun and your tie was hanging lose around your neck. As you walked past a bar you stopped, ‘one beer wouldn’t hurt, right?’ You thought to yourself, you loosened up your hair and took the tie from your shoulders, putting it in your bag. You opened the front door of the bar and entered.  It was rather silent and only soft sounds of chatter were heard; nobody probably went to a bar on weekdays. Your eyebrows furrowed as you saw a familiar white-haired male sit at the bar, you smiled and walked towards him.  He reeked from all the booze he had probably consumed, you tapped his head. He raised his head but kept his eyes closed: “Vho ever you are I am not in zhe mood. Leave me alone.” He slurred almost inaudible, damn he had drank a lot of the stuff didn’t he? “I say mister Beilschmidt, going at it again with all the booze?” You teased, he opened his eyes as he heard the familiar voice. “______! Vhat are you doing here!” He said in an excited voice. “Just stopping by.” He nodded and hugged you, “______. Zhe awesome me is soooo lonely..” He whined, you chuckled and patted his head; Ruffling up his white hair. He nuzzled into your chest and groaned again, you sighed and gestured the man behind the bar to pour you a beer as well.

After a few beers you started to feel slightly tipsy, you had ordered Gilbert to drink some water to ease all the booze he’d been drinking, but the way he looked at your beer was simply too cute to resist. Gilbert and you started to laugh loudly with each other, even when the jokes you two were making weren’t funny. “_______, frau your face is red!” Gilbert laughed loudly, you pouted and pointed at his face. “So is yours!” He placed his hands over his face and grunted. “No I am not!” He slurred, you simply laughed loudly. For some reason you couldn’t stop laughing, the whole scene was quite amusing really. Gilbert and you decided to sit down somewhere more comfortable; you two sat in a corner of the room. There was a table and a soft sofa behind it; definitely more comfortable than those wooden stools. Gilbert placed his head on your shoulder, it was obvious that he was getting tired. You placed your arm around him and smiled. “Gilbert you’re falling asleep.” You whispered, he shook his head and frowned slightly. “No.. I’m not.” He whispered back, you chuckled and caressed his hair. “Yes you are~.”

“I’m not tired.. Wait I’ll prove it!” He slurred, you raised one of your eyebrows. What was he up to now? He placed his hand on your cheeks and came closer and closer to your face. You felt your cheeks turn warmer as his face slowly moved towards yours. He closed his eyes and softly placed his lips onto yours, honestly you were too drunk to care and just went with the flow; closing your eyes and wrapping your arms around his neck. He groaned and tried to get closer to you, he moved his hand from your cheeks to your waist. The two of you kissed for a while until the lack of air was getting too much. He removed his lips from yours and smiled faintly, his face was even redder than before. He panted and rested his forehead against yours. “Tell me Frau, zhat was an awesome kiss.” He chuckled, you giggled and nodded. “Yes you are a great kisser~.” You flirted, he grinned and placed a kiss on your nose. “Say Frau do you vant to maybe, go to my place?” He whispered, you giggled again and covered your mouth until the giggles stopped.

“I’d love too.” You said coyly, he smirked and grabbed your hand; pulling you up from the sofa. The two of you said your goodbyes to the man behind the bar that had been serving you that evening. It was very cold outside; your body was shaking. Your work uniform wasn’t really weather friendly, luckily Gilbert was sweet enough to lend you his jacket. Gilbert did had some problems walking home, mostly because the booze had weakened his legs. He fell over from time to time but you were able to help him get back up. When you two reached Gilbert’s house he had problems with getting the key into the lock, you insisted on helping but Gilbert wanted to do it himself. When you two got in you two crashed on the couch, hugging each other and snuggling. Eventually you moved upstairs together, kissing each other whilst climbing up the stairs. Before the two of you could really get the ‘deed’ done you two fell asleep, you laid on top of Gilbert’s chest; his breathing making you move.

- Time skip    -

You groaned as you woke up, you opened your eyes; surprisingly you were staring at Gilbert’s face. You covered your mouth, ‘Did we..’ you thought to yourself. Suddenly Gilbert grunted, startling you. “Mein kopf.. I had a few to many beers..” He groaned, he tried to get up but your weight was keeping him down. He opened his eyes, looking right into your eyes. He smiled awkwardly, “I must still be dreaming, huh..” He laughed nervously, you shook your head and joined the awkward laughter.

“Umm.. Did we? You know..” He said in a thick German accent, you shrugged implying that you were way too wasted yourself yesterday. He blushed slightly and scratched his chin, you decided to move off of Gilbert’s chest. You sat up, fixing your (h/c) hair and your shirt. When you heard small squeaks you turned around, Gilbert’s cute little bird was sitting on Gilbert’s closet. You giggled at the cute bird, making Gilbert laugh as well. Gilbert began to sat up as well, smiling cutely at you.

“So if we did.. You know, would you be mad?..” He mumbled, you raised your eyebrows and shook your head. Making Gilbert sigh in relief, “Mein Gott.. I was getting nervous there!” You wrapped your arms around Gilbert, softly embracing him. He leaned back into the bed and wrapped his arms around you. He nuzzled his nose into your hair, taking in your sweet scent.

“Ich liebe dich Frau.” He smiled, you kissed his forehead and poked his cheek. “I love you too~” You sang, it was a sweet scene really. Gilbert and you just stayed in silence like that for a while, until you felt something on top of your head; making you squeak in fear. Gilbert was startled by the sudden squeak but laughed as soon as he noticed it was just little Gilbird that was sitting on your head. He held his hand at your head and the little chick walked on to his hand, the little fluffy ball nuzzling his owner. You puffed out your cheeks and pouted, “I want to hold the little one too!” You whined, Gilbert chuckled and held his hand by your cheek; the bird nuzzled against your cheek making you giggle. You gave all your attention to the little bird, it was such a cutie. “H-Hey Frau, don’t give all your attention to zhe Gilbird! I thought you were my wingman Gilbird!”

You laughed as the little ball of fluff flew on top of your head again, claiming you for himself. Gilbert tried to swoosh away the bird, Gilbird flew away eventually leaving the two of you alone again. Gilbert kissed your face all over, leaving small pecks everywhere. You were giggling all the way because of Gilbert’s sudden jealousy. Honestly you were fine with being friends with Gilbert before, but now you two had actually kissed and spent a night together you felt differently about him. You’d noticed Gilbert’s crush on you before but didn’t want to embarrass him, and now you were happy that you two had made the step. Now that your relationship was on the next level, you were happier than before and so was Gilbert.

The end~
Have a little treat for 140+ watchers and 7,700+ views on OHSHC x Tomboy! Tsundere! Reader!

I do not own Hetalia or you~
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It was the year 1992, Finland sat alone in a toilet cubicle, sobbing in despair at his humiliation. He buried his head in his hands as the dreaded words replayed themselves over and over.

"Nul points, nul points, nul points..."

"Why?! Why me?!" He screamed, slamming his fist into the wall. He knew that the others would try to comfort him by saying it was all 'just a song contest', but the fact was that he couldn't stand the shame any longer. Ever since 1961, fate (and his neighbours) had been cruel to him by making him place badly nearly each year. It wasn't fair either that Norway had joined around the same time as him, yet he'd already won once.

The ultimate under-achiever of Eurovision was what they called him, and it would take a miracle for him to ever win.

He forced himself to stand and tore a piece of toilet paper to wipe his behind, before leaving his cubicle to go the sink. He turned on the tap and eyed his reflection in the mirror, glimpsing the figure of Sweden standing at the other far end.

"Wipe that smug smile off your face, you fucking idiot. So what, you've won three times?" He thought, flashing a bitter glare at the Sweden while shaking his hands dry.

Finland walked out of the bathroom, his head hung low in defeat as he made his way past an ecstatic Ireland, whom was celebrating their fourth victory.

Ireland won again in 1993 and 1994, creating a three year streak and a record never before seen in the history of the contest. Finland could only wish those victories were his and that his neighbours would stop making fun of him all the time. Then again, it was their fault rather than his, right?

On the bright side, a few new countries had joined the contest in the past couple of years. Most of them were from Eastern and Southern Europe, newly independent and not yet experienced with how it all worked.

"I guess this means I'm not alone, anymore..." Finland reassured himself.

An idea sprung up in his head soon after and he grinned.

*************

"So what's this idea of yours, Finland?" Iceland asked quietly, seated next to the blond haired nation.

"Oh, you know how you and these others have yet to win?" Finland smiled, gesturing towards a tight-knit group that included Estonia, Hungary, Lithuania and Poland among others.

"Yeah?"

"I was thinking we could start a 'We Have Yet To Win Eurovision' club."

Iceland cleared his throat and opened his mouth. "You know that they've all only just joined, right? They could be winning in the near future."

"And do you really want to feel alone?" Finland asked tersely, taking Iceland by surprise. "Don't forget I'm not the only one, because you've never won either."

There was a silence between the two, in which Iceland considered Finland's offer. He glanced at the new contest participants a few times before sighing and extending his hand.

"Fine, I'm joining your club...but it better be worthwhile."

Finland grabbed his hand and shook it firmly, before letting go so that he could call some of the newcomers over.

*************

Oslo, 1996

Finland, Iceland, Croatia, Estonia, Hungary, Poland, Romania, Slovakia and several others watched the contest as the unofficial 'We Have Yet To Win Eurovision Club', or 'WHYTWEC' for short (Finland wasn't the best at coming up with names). Lithuania, while a member due to Poland's insistence, wasn't present at this year's contest for reasons they could not understand. As for Russia, well no one was brave enough to approach him.

The unlikely group tried to enjoy the performances from their various seating positions, all the while connected to each other by the slim chances of actually winning.

Not surprisingly, Ireland scored their seventh victory that night.

*************

Stockholm, 2000


Latvia, the youngest Baltic state, made his debut and Finland made no hurry to ask for his presence in the club. While initially skeptical about it, Latvia gave in once he found out that Estonia was a member.

The two sat together for the whole length of the contest, conversing in their native languages. Finland could only guess what they were talking about, but something about their expressions and tones of voice made him feel nervous.

*************

Copenhagen, 2001


Estonia couldn't believe it was actually happening. He had actually won and most of Europe was now cheering for plain little old him. He felt overwhelmed with emotion and swiftly removed his foggy glasses so that he could wipe them, while a few tears of joy seeped from his eyes.

As Finland wasn't present that year, Estonia decided to tell him of his victory by phone.

"Finland, you won't believe it! I've actually won!"

"For God's sake, Estonia! I'm watching it on TV right now! Do you really think I don't know?!"

"Sorry, but I just thought that maybe you could be a little happier for me?"

The phone line went quiet and Estonia immediately feared that something had gone wrong, only for his worries to disappear when Finland resumed speaking.

"Estonia, I...I don't know whether to proud...or to be jealous, but...I'm going to miss you so much!"


*************

Tallinn, 2002

"I've won, Estonia! I've won!" Latvia squealed in delight, as he and the other Baltic nation hugged each other passionately and danced together in the aisle.

Lithuania shook his head at the sight and burst into tears, muttering something about coming second last and being lonely.

Finland watched him crying and could only feel relieved that it wasn't him whom had placed last this time. He took a deep breath and thought of who would possibly be the next to win.

*************

Istanbul, 2004

It was the year that Albania, Andorra, Belarus and Serbia and Montenegro made their debut in the contest. It was also the year that Ukraine won, which was very surprising, since she had only debuted in 2003. In fact, Finland was beginning to suspect that there was some kind of conspiracy going on.

"That must be it. Ever since Estonia's victory, Eastern Europeans along with Turkey have been winning. They must be supporting each other, though I wish someone would lend me some extra points every so often. We're going to keep losing members, aren't we?"

He glanced over at an uncomfortable looking Norway and once again reminded himself that this was as lucky as he was ever going to get.

*************

Kiev, 2005


"Goodbye, everyone." Greece said dully, as if his win was hardly a remarkable thing. He waved and simply took off to get his prize, leaving them to sit around in disappointment.

"I could have won...but instead I came second place." Moldova complained as he cried to his brother Romania.

"Life isn't fair, is it?" Romania replied sympathetically, reaching out and stroking his hair.

Finland looked around his circle and decided to guess who would win next. He considered past results, and somehow came to the rather wild conclusion that it would be Lithuania.

*************

Athens, 2006

Finland wasn't half wrong in his previous prediction, taking into account Lithuania's entry this year. It was quite amusing when the Baltic country's entrants stepped on stage and falsely declared victory in such a dramatic way.

Nothing could prepare Finland however, for Lordi's victory. In the weeks leading up to the contest, he had chosen to doubt all the hype surrounding the band and assumed it would end in another loss for him.

It was only when they dominated the stage that Finland realized a little faith in himself (and the power of rock) wasn't always a bad thing.

He did his best to maintain a straight face when he was announced as the winner, only for his past bitterness to unleash itself against his own wishes.

"Iceland! I hereby pass the leadership of this club on to you!" He yelled.

He raised both of his fists in the air and screamed in euphoria, bolting down the stairs at break neck speed.

Iceland sunk in his chair and looked anxiously at Malta, whom simply shrugged back.

"Are your fellow Nordics always like this?" The Mediterranean island asked with a weary sigh.

"No, they're usually pretty calm. Well, most of the time..."
The story of the 'We Have Yet To Win Eurovision Club' or 'WHYTWEC' for short (Finland isn't the best at coming up with names). I know it's a bit early to be writing stuff like this, but I couldn't help myself.

This is mostly crack, by the way.

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Collection Two

Collectibles Are Fun #4

Hope was used to coming off second best in the popularity stakes. After all, he was up against some pretty stiff competition:

• Lightning was pretty much the poster girl of the Guardian Corps. Recruitment was up 50% with an increase of 75% in the number of young women wanting to join. However, the Guardian Corps had yet to introduce pants for their female members –much to Lightning’s disgust (and Fang’s secret delight).
• Serah was not only cool by association but also because she happened to be a badass schoolteacher who could shoot a bow and swing a sword. She also had the elementary school demographic firmly in hand (along with the teacher-con demographic too… but Hope preferred not to think about that, although it did make him wonder about Snow).
• Snow was a hit with the ladies: tall, blonde, and built. He was also warm, friendly, and he had the whole “rebel” thing going on. The only reason he wasn’t more popular was because Serah had made it very, very clear that any female fan that got within ten feet of him was liable to end up a pincushion.
• Fang had the advantage of being highly attractive and exotic - a potent combination. She also had the kind of swagger that made people swoon. It wasn’t a coincidence that Yun fashion had seen something of a revival. Her accent was just the icing on the cake. The fact that Fang had a thing going on with Lightning actually made her more popular – especially with the photographers.
• Vanille had the exotic thing going on too, but instead of being all sleek, smirking deadliness, she was the cute and bubbly type. She lit up the room when she walked in, and she was a hit with kids, the old folks, and pretty much everybody who met her. She might be a little less popular if people knew what kind of mischief she could get up to, but Vanille was an expert at appearing innocent.
• Sazh had been a smash hit with the older crowd. The women admired his devotion to his son, and the men admired the fact that he was a certifiable bad ass, even if he didn’t act it most of the time. He also came complete with a cute kid and an equally cute chocobo. Really, it wasn’t fair at all. It wasn’t like Hope got a sidekick (he did have an Eidolon… but as cool as he thought Alexander was, everyone seemed to like Bahamut more).

So Hope had learned to deal with coming off second best in the regular popularity polls that the tabloids ran, but this was too much. The latest line of plush toys had come out, and he’d been hoping for something of an upgrade.

See, Hope had a problem. He might – just maybe – have a bit of a crush on Vanille (well, the crush was really more the size of Cocoon but…). He really, really wanted to ask her out, but he needed to practice first. And what better way to practice than by using plush toys.

"Hi, Vanille." Hope held up Plush-Hope in his right hand.

"Hi, Hope." Plush-Vanille was in his left hand, and he’d raised the pitch of his voice in what he hoped was a decent imitation of Vanille. It wasn’t.

"Um… you look really good in that dress." Plush-Hope patted Plush-Vanille on the back.

"Hope… this is the same dress I always wear." Plush-Vanille giggled. "But I’m glad you like it."

Hope did a bit of giggling himself. He could imagine it now. He’d say something silly, and Vanille would laugh. Then he’d ask her out, and she’d say yes, and then they’d go to a restaurant, have something to eat, and head back to her place… and…

And now the two plush toys were making out. But what made it creepy – and what he’d been hoping they would change – was the fact that Plush-Hope still looked like a kid whereas Plush-Vanille looked like a young woman.

"Come on," Hope said, glaring at the plush version of himself. "Haven’t they noticed that I’ve grown up?"

A snicker came from behind him, and he turned to find Snow grinning at him. “You really should just ask her out, you know.” He picked up the Plush-Vanille and put it back onto the shelf where it slumped over the Plush-Serah. “The real Vanille, that is.”

Hope sighed. “It’s not that simple. And you had it easy. Lightning just punched you in the face. Fang would totally spear me.”

"Nah, she’d only spear you a little bit - nothing fatal."

"Thanks." Hope glanced at the shelf and shuddered. For some reason, it felt like Plush-Fang was glaring at him.

X     X     X

Collectibles Are Fun #5

It wasn’t everyday that Lightning got to see Odin bonking Bahamut over the head. In fact, it wasn’t something she’d ever seen before. Her Eidolon had pulled the dragon into a headlock and was now doing his level best to noogie Bahamut to death.

"Are they okay?" Lightning winced as Bahamut managed to squirm free only for Odin to drag him back into a headlock.

"I’m sure they’re just messing around." Fang was picking through the remains of a burnt out transport.

The pilots had managed to get the ship down in one piece before evacuating as it had come under attack from a swarm of monsters. Fortunately, she and Lightning had been close enough to lend a hand. The pilots were safe, but half the transport had been blown up by one of Bahamut’s attacks.

"Right…" Lightning picked a bit of burnt material up off the ground. "What was the transport carrying anyway?"

"I don’t know." Fang stopped and then began to laugh. "Actually, I think I do know. Look." She held up the charred remains of a plush toy.

"Is that…?"

"Yep, it looks like it is. It’s a plush toy of Odin." Fang poked several more piles of burnt plush toys with her spear. "In fact… all the burnt plush toys are plush toys of Odin."
Lightning now had a sneaking suspicion about why her Eidolon was trying to shove Bahamut’s head into the still smouldering piles of plush toys.

Fang darted into the remaining half of the transport before doubling over in laughter. “You’ve got to have a look in there, Lightning.”

Choosing to ignore the squabbling Eidolons, Lightning joined Fang inside the remaining half of the transport. The contents: box after box of undamaged Bahamut plush toys. In a mysterious “coincidence” Bahamut’s stray attack had only destroyed Odin plush toys.

"Really?" Lightning leapt on top of Odin and pried her Eidolon off the dragon. "You’re doing this over a few boxes of plush toys."

Odin had the decency to look ashamed. Bahamut just gave them the dragon equivalent of a smirk.

"Wipe that smirk off your face, or I’ll have you scrubbing toilets." The smirk vanished. Bahamut wasn’t sure how Lightning would get him to scrub toilets - he was an Eidolon, not a soldier - but he didn’t doubt that she would find a way. And it wasn’t like he could rely on Fang for help - the Yun would gladly throw him under the bus if it meant getting into Lightning’s good books. "I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt, Bahamut. I’m sure this was all a horrible accident."

Bahamut did his best to look contrite before disappearing along with Odin.

"Can you believe those two?" Lightning sighed.

"Yes, I can." Fang snickered and wrapped her arms around Lightning. "Remember how angry you got when my plush toy outsold yours?"

"Fang… do you want to sleep in our bed tonight?"

"Forget I said anything."

Two weeks later, that month’s sales figures came in. Bahamut plush toys had outsold Odin plush toys… by a number roughly equivalent to all the plush toys that had been destroyed in the ruined transport.

Two weeks and one hour later, Bahamut was summoned to the New Bodhum Guardian Corps facility.

Two weeks, one hour and five minutes later, Bahamut was scrubbing toilets.

X     X     X

Collectibles Are Fun #6

It might have had something to do with the extra glasses of wine she’d had after dinner, but the plush toy on the coffee table was suddenly the most interesting thing in the world to Lightning. She picked it up and giggled. Her sister looked silly.

"Look at me," Lightning said, waving Plush-Serah around. "I’m Serah Farron and I dress like a school girl." She snickered. "That’s why Snow likes me – he has a schoolgirl fetish."

"In case you’ve forgotten, Lightning, I was eighteen at the time." Serah slid onto the couch beside her sister and took the plush toy away before Lightning could come up with anything else to say. "And Snow doesn’t have a schoolgirl fetish."

"Does he have some other kind of fetish then?" Lightning peered up at Serah. "Because I’m not going to let you marry a pervert, Serah."

"Oh, really? You think Snow is a pervert?" Serah nodded at the Plush-Lightnings on the shelf nearby – there were twelve of them there, a complete set. "Because your girlfriend owns every plush toy of you in existence, along with all of their alternate outfits and weapons."

"That’s not perverted." Lightning sat up. Well, it did sound a little perverted, but she thought it was sweet. "Fang just happens to like collecting plush toys of me."

"Okay, maybe perverted was the wrong word." Serah grinned. "Creepy is probably a better description."

"It’s not creepy – it’s sweet." Lightning tackled Serah, pinning her to the couch. "You’re just jealous that Snow doesn’t own every plush toy of you." Lightning tilted her head to one side. "But Vanille does…"

"…" Serah froze. She hadn’t thought about that. "Uh…"

Lightning yawned, suddenly sleepy. It wasn’t every night that she got to have dinner with Serah. But Snow was away on an expedition and so were Fang and Vanille, so Serah was staying at her house again. She blinked blearily. It had to be the wine – that was the only way she could explain what came out of her mouth next. “Are you and Vanille having secret sex?”

"What?" Serah shoved Lightning off her.

Lightning thudded onto the ground and reached for the plush toys on the shelf. She grabbed one of Serah and one of Vanille. “Do I really have to explain?” She shoved the two plush toys together and made kissing noises. “Are you and Vanille having secret sex?” She paused, adjusting the position of the plush toys. Serah should be the one on top. “Or maybe you do it likes this…” She turned the plush toy of Serah upside down. “Sometimes Fang and I –”

"Please stop talking!" Serah covered her ears with her hands. "Lightning, you’ve had too much to drink. Come on, let’s get you up to bed."

It took Serah quite a bit of effort to get her sister up into bed, but even then Lightning would not relinquish her hold on the plush toys - nor would she stop making suggestions about the nature of Vanille and Serah’s relationship. When Serah finally got Lightning into bed, her older sister promptly pulled her in as well and refused to let go of her.

Great, she’d almost forgotten how clingy her sister was in bed.

And that was how Fang and Vanille found them – Lightning wrapped around Serah with Plush-Vanille and Plush-Serah wrapped around each other too.

"Um…" Serah blinked blearily up at Fang and Vanille as Lightning – who was still asleep – tightened her grip. "This isn’t what it looks like."

"Serah… Vanille…" Lightning mumbled. "No… not on the coffee table. I eat off that."
Fang’s eyes widened, and Vanille giggled.

"I’m not even going to ask." Fang tried – and failed – to hold back her laughter. "But I really need to take a picture."

X     X    X

The Next Generation In Plush Toy Technology

Welcome to the future.

For decades, plush toys have been stuck in the past. Today, at Dia Industries, we are proud to welcome all of you to the future – the future of plush toy technology.

Starting with our latest Lightning Farron plush toy, each of our plush toys will incorporate a number of revolutionary, next-generation features:

• Unmatched interactivity. Each next-generation plush toy contains an advanced processor capable of storing hundreds of different phrases. Our advanced processors are also capable of recognising each other, allowing the plush toys in your collection to modify their speech based on which plush toys you own. Do you own a Fang and a Lightning? You can look forward to teasing, flirting, and witty banter.
• Unparalleled expressiveness. Our next-generation plush toys have the ability to alter their expressions based on your behaviour and their surroundings. Tired of the same, boring expressions? Then poke your Lightning plush toy in the stomach – it will give you an authentic Lightning scowl. Want to put a smile on your Fang plush toy’s face? Then put it next to your Lightning plush toy on the shelf.
• Unbelievable ruggedness. You’ll never have to worry about breaking one of our next-generation plush toys. Each toy is made of materials specially designed to withstand burning, electrocution, freezing, chemical attack, stabbing, slicing, and explosions. Nothing short of an angry Eidolon has the firepower to take down one of our toys!
• Unrivalled upgradability. All of our next-generation plush toys are designed to receive upgrades to their software via our company’s website. You can look forward to bigger vocabularies, more complex behaviour, and more authentic expressions.
• Unbeatable combat ability. Worried about your kids? Well, worry no more. Our next-generation plush toys are combat ready! Simply set them to ‘protect’ using the parental lock codes provided with each toy, and our toys will fight to the death to protect your children. For extra security, you can also purchase some of our scaled-down, advanced weaponry – we have everything from miniature (but deadly) gun blades to tiny (but effective) spears.

Stop living in the past. Live in the future. Buy one of our plush toys today.

X     X     X

Product Recall Notice: Sergeant Lightning Farron Model #250-X

It has recently come to our attention that our Sergeant Lightning Farron plush toy (Model #250-X) may be defective. In the interests of customer safety, we are issuing a product recall notice. A free product repair service will be made available to all owners. Until you have had your toy repaired, please be aware of the following defects:

• Due to a programming error, the Lightning toy may become overaggressive. Several owners have actually reported being assaulted by their toy. If this occurs, do not panic. As a plush toy, the toy lacks the capacity to inflict serious injury. Simply pick up the toy and put it in a strong, closed container (e.g., a box). Under no circumstances should you allow the toy to gain access to our specially designed brand of weaponry. Although the weapons sold with our plush toys are carefully calibrated to minimise the risk of permanent injury, we cannot guarantee that the toy will not upgrade them. Do not allow the toy access to knives, forks, or any other objects that can be used to stab, slash, hack, or otherwise inflict injury.
• Due to another programming error, the Lightning toy may develop a predilection for foul language. Under no circumstances, should the toy be left alone with young children. Not only is it likely to glare and threaten them (see #1 above) but it is also likely to curse at them using at least fifteen different swear words and phrases. Do not gag the Lightning toy, as this will only provoke a hostile physical response.
• Due to another tiny programming error, the Lightning toy may develop overprotective tendencies. If this occurs, the toy will begin referring to an individual as its “sister” before attempting to drive away everyone else. Do not attempt to separate the Lightning toy from its chosen individual. Attempting to do this will result in the Lightning toy entering “Army of One” mode. This is a very, very bad thing. And Dia Industries hereby accepts no responsibility or liability for any injuries, property damage, or deaths that may result (note: reading this product recall notice constitutes agreement to these terms).
• Due to a manufacturing error, one in ten Lightning toys is not composed of the standard materials. These toys are instead composed an exotic metal-ceramic-crystal compound that is impervious to virtually all forms of chemical, physical, and energy attack. If your Lightning toy is defective in this manner, please return it immediately to one of our licensed suppliers. Do not get it angry. And do not lend any credence to the rumours of these defective toys being prototype military models. We do not make weapons. We make toys.

Here at Dia Industries, we take your safety seriously. If you have any further questions or problems, or if your toy begins to show signs of homicidal rage, please contact us either via email or through the hotline number provided below.

1800-SAVE-US-NOW.

X     X     X

Author’s Notes

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

Here is the second installment of vignettes. All of these appear on my tumblr first before I gather a few of them up and post here. As you can see, things over in plush-toy land have taken an awkward turn. In typical fashion, Dia Industry’s attempt to conquer the toy market has led to a few mistakes… like killer plush toys. But that’s the fun part, isn’t it? Hehehehe.

Buy a piece of the future – buy a killer Lightning plushy toy today!

I also write original fiction. If you like my fanfiction, I’m sure you’ll love my original stuff too. You can find it here. If you like fantasy, give The Last Huntress Series a try. I’ve also recently released my first novel-length original story, Durendal. And this Sunday 27th April (Pacific Standard Time), The Last Huntress will be available for free on Amazon. Check it out! You can find a link to it in my profile, and I’ll post a bigger, more obvious link on the day.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.
Lightning never should have signed the release form allowing one of Cocoon's largest toy companies to make merchandise of her. But it couldn't be that bad, could it? Seriously, what was the worst that could happen? The answer was staring her right in the face.
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Me: *eats pancakes*

Lolgirl: *eats cake*

Red: *Watching Yu-Gi-Oh*

HuskyLox: *making out*

Wolf: Hey HuskyLox, get a room

Husky: Well, you don't mind SetoSolace making out!

Wolf: SetoSolace making out? *Turns around*

Seto: *Blushing*

Lolgirl: How did I not notice

Me: *takes picture* hehehe *Nosebleed*

Red: XD WTF Joycelyn!

Me: *Wipes blood all over Red*

Red: HEY BITCH, DON'T DO DIS!!
..............
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Chapter 8: A Mad Tea Party



After making her way out of the woods, Mai spotted a large white house with a mint green roof, rectangular-shaped windows, and a yellow door. There was also a white brick chimney on the roof, as well as a hedge wall that surrounded a white gate that led to a grand garden.

“How very curious,” she said, as she then proceeded toward the gate. She could hear singing coming from the garden, as she then spotted two men sitting at a large table filled with empty chairs, tons of teapots made in various colors, shapes, and sizes that were whistling out steam in song, and many matching saucers and teacups.

If there are no objections
Let it be unanimous
Oh, a very merry unbirthday
A very merry unbirthday
A very merry unbirthday to us!


Mai took a peek from behind a large red chair and a smile of delight formed on her face. There was a wonderful tea party going on in the garden! She then came out from behind the chair and stood in front of it, though the steam was blocking her view as if she were lost in a thick fog. One of the two people was a humanoid rabbit with Tristan’s hair and face, who had furry tan ears and a big pink nose with whiskers sprouting out next to it. He was wearing a maroon waistcoat, a white classic shirt with a yellow bowtie around his neck, orange slacks with a black belt that had a silver buckle on it, and dark brown dress shoes. The other was a young man with Joey’s hair and face, who was wearing a green top hat with a white piece of paper that had the fraction “10/6” on it, an olive green waistcoat, a white shirt with a bowtie that matched his hat, and aqua green slacks with a brown belt that had a golden buckle on it. There were also a pair of dark brown dress shoes worn on him. Even a Dor-Kuriboh with brown mouse ears and a thin tail appeared beside the two boys, and it had a sleepy look on its mouthless face.

Mai ducked underneath the steam and peeked through the handle of a blue teapot to see them. Those two men she had just seen were indeed the Mad Hatter and the March Hare, as Cheshire Marik had talked to her about earlier!

The Mad Hatter and the March Hare were singing more of their joyous song as they clinked their teacups together and poured tea through their teapots. They were taking turns singing their lines together, starting with the March Hare.

A very merry unbirthday to me
To who?
To me!
Oh, you!
A very merry unbirthday to you
Who, me?
Yes, you!
Oh, me!
Let’s congratulate us with another cup of tea
A very merry unbirthday to you!


The two men and Dor-Kuriboh were startled when they heard Mai clapping in praise for their song, and they all had surprised expressions on their faces. In a panic, the boys ran around the table, shouting out to her and waving their hands in front of them:

“No room! No room! No room! No room!”

“But there’s plenty of room!” Mai said to them, stopping the boys from their panicky run and warning her no room, even though she was absolutely right.

“Ahh, but it’s rude to sit down without being invited,” the March Hare said to her.

“Of course it’s rude!” the Mad Hatter added in agreement with the March Hare. “It’s very, very rude indeed!”

The Dor-Kuriboh then joined in as it spoke in a very tired tone of voice: “Very, very, very rude indeed…”

The little furball then hid itself back into a golden teapot that it had been hidden in the whole time the boys were singing their song.

“Well, I’m terribly sorry,” Mai said to them kindly, “but I did enjoy your singing. I wanted to tell you—”

Just then, the March Hare swiftly approached Mai and sat on the arm of the chair she was sitting on, surprising her.

“You enjoyed our singing?” he repeated to her with a perky smile on his face, holding his hands together and placing them next to the left side of his face.

“Oh, what a delightful lady!” the Mad Hatter complimented, as he clumsily landed his right elbow on a light blue teacup filled with tea. “I’m so excited! We never get compliments like dat before.”

Though the teacup was still stuck on his elbow, the Mad Hatter pointed to it and added: “You must have a cup of tea!”

“Ah, yes, indeed,” the March Hare, picking up a pink teapot and pouring it out. A white saucer and an aqua teacup appeared before Mai’s very eyes, along with the tea.

“That’d be very nice,” Mai said to them. “My name is Mai. I’m sorry I interrupted your birthday party.”

Just as Mai was given the cup of tea, the March Hare swiped it away from her.

“Birthday?” he repeated with a short chuckle as his ears then were straightened up and tied in a knot. “Why, Miss Mai, this is not a birthday party!”

“Of course not!” the Mad Hatter added, pouring tea through his jacket into a yellow teacup with a pale blue teapot. “Dis is an unbirthday party!”

“Unbirthday?” Mai repeated, befuddled by the unfamiliar term. “I’m sorry, but I don’t quite understand it.”

As she was offered the teacup again, Mai reached for it. However, the March Hare swiped it away from her again.

“It’s very simple,” he started to explain to her. “Now, 30 days have Sept—“

The March Hare then realized that it was the wrong explanation he started to give Mai, as he then scratched his head with one of his rabbit ears.

“An unbirthday means that if you have a birthday, then… you… Ohhh… ha ha! She doesn’t know what an unbirthday is!”

“How silly!” the Mad Hatter said with a giggle. “Well, I…” He let out a hiccup, which let out bubbles of tea from his mouth. He then cleared his throat and picked up the teapot before holding it up to his mouth. The steam was squirted out of the spout as the Mad Hatter shook it rapidly, before he finally got to say with another giggle: “I shall clarify.”

The March Hare waved his spoon to conduct the low-pitched and medium-pitched whistles of the teapots, which were bouncing up and down in unison. Even the smallest of the teapots joined in with a very high whistle.

“Now statistics prove, prove that you’ve one birthday,” the Mad Hatter explained to Mai, who was delighted to hear the definition of an unbirthday courtesy of a song all about it.
“Imagine one birthday every year,” the March Hare added, still conducting the teapots.

“Ahhh, but there are 364 unbirthdays!” the Mad Hatter said, counting his fingers. The March Hare nodded in agreement as he was waving his spoon around some more, and then added:

“Precisely why we’re gathered here to cheer!”

Now I get it…, Mai thought with a pleased smile on her face. Since I do have one birthday, that means…

She swiftly rose up from the red chair and then announced to the boys: “Then today’s my unbirthday too!”

“It is??” the March Hare exclaimed excitedly.

“What a small world this is,” the Mad Hatter said with a smile, folding his hands together and placing them on the left side of his face.

The March Hare’s ears twitched upward and he then boasted merrily: “In that case…”

The boys gathered around Mai and held their hands as they danced around her in a circle, and the March Hare started to sing the unbirthday song again:

A very merry unbirthday

“To me?” Mai asked them, still smiling at them.

“To you!” the Mad Hatter answered, taking off his hat to reveal a three-layered birthday cake that had pink frosting, white icing, and a single blue lit candle.

A very merry unbirthday

“For me!” Mai added.

“For you!” the March Hare said, as the Mad Hatter handed over the cake to Mai.

“Now blow out the candle, Miss Mai, and make your wish come true!” the Mad Hatter instructed her, with a delighted chuckle as he took a bit of the white icing and licked it off of his finger.

Mai nodded to them and blew out the candle, and the candle began to spark. The cake then launched out of Mai’s hands like a rocket and it exploded into a colorful display of fireworks that amazed her, whereas the boys sang the last line of their song:

A very merry unbirthday to you!

Once the fireworks and the smoke were clear, the Dor-Kuriboh was drifting downward, reciting in a tired voice:

“Twinkle twinkle, little bat. How I wonder where you’re at. Up above the world you fly, like a tea tray in the sky.”

After the Dor-Kuriboh made its way back into the teapot, the Mad Hatter closed it up.

“Oh, that was lovely,” Mai complimented, clapping in praise for their song, the cake, and the beautiful fireworks display she had just seen.

“And now, Miss Mai. As you were saying, you were seeking… Pardon me,” the Mad Hatter said to her, as he took a dunk of his plate into his cup of tea and took a huge bite of it. “You were seeking some information of some kind?”

“Oh, yes,” Mai answered them, as she was handed an orange teacup filled with tea by the March Hare. “I was looking for a—”

“Clean cup! Clean cup! Move down!” the Mad Hatter boasted, rising from his spot and running over to Mai as he then lifted her out of her seat and took her down the row of chairs.

“But I haven’t used my cup…,” Mai said to him.

The March Hare tossed the orange cup away and followed the two, bursting out into song once again as he tossed many teacups away from the table:

Clean cup, clean cup!
Move down, move down!
Clean cup, clean cup!
Move down, move down!


Once the three took their seats, the Mad Hatter lifted up an orange teapot that had three spouts and poured the tea into three teacups with it.

“Would you like some more tea?” he asked Mai.

“Well, I haven’t had any yet…,” Mai said, shaking a round spoutless green teapot above a teacup in front of her. “So I can’t take more.”

“Ahh, you mean you can’t take less,” corrected the March Hare as he cracked the teapot open like an egg and the tea was pouring into Mai’s cup, much to her surprise.

“Yes. You can always take more than nothing,” the Mad Hatter added, as he dumped an entire bowl full of sugar and patted the top of it with a spoon.

Mai lifted the teacup to her mouth and took a sip of it, only to taste the mountain of sugar that was floating on top of the tea. “But I only meant the—” she started to say, only to be interrupted by the Mad Hatter.

“And now, Miss Mai,” he said to her, sitting on the table like an Indian as he poured tea from a yellow floral teapot into a stack of four teacups. “Something seems to be troubling you.”

He then took a sip from one of the cups, and then added: “Won’t you tell us all about it?”
“Start at the beginning,” the March Hare said, as he was laying on the table.

The Mad Hatter placed a hand on the lid of the yellow teapot before he then joined in: “Yes, yes. And when you come to the end…”

With a chuckle, he lifted the lid off of the teapot and ended his sentence with “stop!”.

Mai nodded to the boys, then she began to explain to them: “It all started while I was sitting by the lake in the park while my friends were playing a game back in my home world.”

“Veeeeeery interesting,” the March Hare complimented, holding a cup of tea and taking a sip from it. He then jolted when the game was mentioned to him by Mai and had a big grin on his face. “What game is it?”

“It’s football, and it’s actually a sport…” Mai explained to them, just as Dor-Kuriboh popped out of the yellow teapot with a scared expression on its mouthless face.

“Football?!” it repeated. “Football!”

The furball came out of the teapot and floated around the table in the panic, frightening Mai, the Mad Hatter, and the March Hare. The Mad Hatter and the March Hare dashed after the panicked Dor-Kuriboh, making a huge mess by knocking over cups of tea, sauces, butter, and teapots in the process. It was quite a struggle as they chased him, but soon, the boys had managed to catch the Dor-Kuriboh.

“Get the jam!” the March Hare shouted, and Mai quickly grabbed a yellow jar full of jam and took a small knife out of there.

“Put it on his face!” the Mad Hatter instructed her, and Mai wiped the jam onto the Dor-Kuriboh’s face. The furball finally calmed down once it felt the jam sticking onto its face, and the Mad Hatter placed it back into the teapot.

“F-F-Football…,” it said in a quiet voice, before slinking slowly back into the teapot. The Mad Hatter let out a sigh of relief as he placed the lid back onto the teapot, feeling glad that it was a close call.

“Thank heavens…,” he said, fixing his clothes. “Those are da things dat distress me so much.”

“See all the trouble you’ve caused?” the March Hare said, pouring tea from a beige-colored teapot into another pale blue teacup as he was sitting cross-legged on a wooden chair. His ears snapped the pouring tea shut, like scissors to a thin ribbon.

“Really, I-I didn’t think that…,” Mai started to say, but she was interrupted by the March Hare.

“Ahh, that’s the point, Miss Mai! if you don’t think, you shouldn’t talk!” he said to her. Just then, the Mad Hatter ran over to them and grabbed Mai’s hand again.

“Clean cup! Clean cup! Move down! Move down! Move down!” he chirped again, tossing the cup of tea away from them as he rapidly pulled Mai up from her seat.

“But I still haven’t—” Mai started to explain, only to be disrupted once again by the March Hare, who sang the ‘move down’ song again:

Move down, move down!
Move down, move down!


Once the three took their new seats, the Mad Hatter then said to Mai: “Now, Miss Mai, as you were saying?”

Mai knew that the boys wanted to hear her story again, so she repeated what she just said before the Dor-Kuriboh’s mad run happened: “Oh, yes. I was sitting by the lake in the park while my friends were playing umm… you know what.”

“I do?” the Mad Hatter asked, giggling in delight as he leaned over to Mai.

Mai nodded to him and she then said as she spelled the word into the Mad Hatter’s ear: “I mean f-o-o-t-b-a-l-l.”

“Tea!” the Mad Hatter chirped, swiftly grabbing a blue teapot.

The March Hare took a butter knife and sliced a matching teacup in half with it. “Just a half a cup of tea, if you don’t mind,” he said, as the Mad Hatter poured the tea into the cup.

“Come, come, Miss Mai,” said the Mad Hatter, as he poured the tea from his cup back into the teapot and drank from it. “Don’t you care for tea?”

“Yes, I’m very fond of tea,” Mai answered him. “But…”

“You could at least make a polite conversation,” the March Hare said to her, and he took a sip from his sliced cup.

Mai then rose up and placed her hands on her hips, frowning at the two boys as she then said to him: “I’ve been trying to ask you…”

The March Hare tapped a mallet on the table three times as he then stood up and announced: “I have an excellent idea. Let’s change the subject.”

He then gave a good whack on the Mad Hatter’s head, causing it to be shoved into his top hat and shaking from the powerful hit.

“Why is a Harpie like a writing desk?” the Mad Hatter asked through his hat.

“Duel monster riddles?” Mai said, raising an eyebrow as she then started to think.
“Let me see now. Why is a Harpie like a writing desk?”

The Mad Hatter was sipping his tea through the hat when he jolted suddenly and nearly dropped his tea.

“I beg your pardon?” he asked her.

Mai then repeated the riddle he had just said to her, causing the Mad Hatter to drop his tea and his head popped out from underneath his hat.

“Why is a what?!” he exclaimed, his eyes widening in shock. The Marc Hare scurried over to the Mad Hatter and hid behind him.

“Careful! She’s stark raving mad!” he warned him of Mai.

Mai then swiftly rose up from her chair, unamused by the confusing discussion she was having with the two.

“But it is your silly riddle!” she scolded them with a scowl on her face, wagging a finger in front of them. “You just said…”

The Mad Hatter held a chair with its legs pointing out in front of him, as if it were a shield, and he was shivering in fear of Mai.

“Don't get excited!” he said to her.

“How about a nice cup of tea?” the March Hare asked Mai, as he emerged from the opening of his friend’s hat and holding a cup of tea and saucer in his hand.

“Have a cup of tea, indeed!” Mai snapped, slamming her hand onto the table before storming off from them. “Well, I’m sorry, but I just haven’t the time!”

“The time! The time! Who’s got the time?!” the March Hare shouted, looking left and right.
Just then, the White Rabbit came through the gate, still worried about being tardy.

“No, no, no, no!” he exclaimed anxiously as he walked down the cobblestone path. “No time! No time! No time! Hello, goodbye! I’m late! I’m late!”

Mai swiftly turned to see the White Rabbit as she was about to leave, and her scowl then shifted into an enlightened smile.

“The White Rabbit!” she said of him.

The White Rabbit took out his pocket watch and frantically looked at it as he continued walking. “Oh, I’m so late!” he exclaimed. “I’m so very, very late!”

Just then, he then felt himself being yanked over toward the Mad Hatter, who had just grabbed him by the golden chain of his watch.

“Well, no wonder you’re late!” the Mad Hatter said, pointing to the watch and placing his ear onto it before he rapidly shook it. “Why, dis clock is exactly two days slow!”

“Two days slow?” the White Rabbit repeated, placing his hands on his face.

“’Course you’re late!” the Mad Hatter said to him with a chuckle, as he dunked the watch into a large purple teapot full of tea and slammed it on the table with the March Hare watching him. The watch was opened up and some gears sprung out of it. “My goodness! We’ll have to look into dis.”

He placed a salt shaker onto his right eye and leaned over the insides of the Rabbit’s watch for a close look at it, as the salt was spilling all over the gears and springs that were working within the watch.

“Ah-haaa!” he said. “Now I see what’s wrong with it!”

The Mad Hatter then took a fork and dug into the watch, tossing out many gears and springs out of it. “Why, dis watch is full of wheels!”

“My poor watch!” the White Rabbit exclaimed, as he frantically caught the flying gears and springs into his hands. “Ohh! My poor wheels! And springs!”

He then placed the parts down and hurried over to the Mad Hatter and the March Hare, stuttering: “But-But-But-But …”

“Butter!” the Mad Hatter finished the White Rabbit’s sentence. “Of course it needs butter! Butter!”

“BUTTER!” the March Hare shouted through the White Rabbit’s long white ears.

“Bu-Bu-Butter?” the White Rabbit repeated, becoming perplexed as he took a plate of butter from the table. Just then, he saw the Mad Hatter take the plate of butter from him, much to his alarm.

“Butter! Oh, thank you! Butter!” the Mad Hatter chirped, spreading the butter onto the watch with the knife as he let out another brief chuckle. “Dat’s fine.”

“Oh no! No, no, no, no!” the White Rabbit exclaimed, running over to the Mad Hatter. “You’ll get crumbs in it!”

“Ohhh, dis is da very best butter!” the Mad Hatter said, throwing the plate of butter in the White Rabbit’s face and causing him to fall to the ground. “What are you talking about?”

“Tea?” the March Hare answered, holding the blue teapot with one finger.

“Tea! Oh I never thought of tea! Of course!” the Mad Hatter replied to him, taking the tea and pouring it over the buttered watch. “Tea! Hee hee hee!”

The White Rabbit had just gotten up and cleaned himself up from the butter, as he then ran over toward the table. “No! No!” he exclaimed worriedly. “Not tea!”

The March Hare placed his right foot in front of the White Rabbit as he was holding the bowl of sugar with his right index finger.
“Sugar?”

“Sugar! Two spoons! Yes!” the Mad Hatter replied, as he was handed the two spoons by the March Hare. “Two spoons! Thank you!”

The Mad Hatter took the two spoons and shoved them into the watch with his hands, causing more parts of the watch to pop out of it.

“P-Please be careful!” the White Rabbit cried as he ran, only to receive the jar of ham from the March Hare.

“Jam!” the March Hare said to his friend.

“Jam! Oh, I forgot all about da jam!” the Mad Hatter replied, taking the jar from the White Rabbit and dumping the jam onto the buttered watch in spite of the White Rabbit’s desperate pleas to be careful with the watch.

“Mustard!” the March Hare added, holding a jar of mustard with his left foot as he was sitting at the table with his legs on it.

“Mustard, yes…,” the Mad Hatter said, as he took the mustard and pulled a spoon out of it. He suddenly widened his eyes in shock and threw the spoon away, whereas he placed his left hand on his hip and held the mustard jar in his right hand.

“MUSTARD!? Ahh, don’t let’s be silly!”

The Mad Hatter tossed the mustard jar and picked up a lemon slice that was on the table next to him.

“Lemon. Dat’s different,” he said, squeezing the lemon above the watch. The lemon juice dripped onto the jam-covered, buttered watch like rain onto a leaf, and the Mad Hatter shut the watch.

“There! Dat should do it!” he said, as he cleaned the jam with the butter knife, chuckling again.

The watch suddenly began ringing and opened up again, releasing more springs and gears as it was bouncing on the table like crazy. The four people had different things to say in reaction to the malfunctioning watch.

“Look at dat!”

“Oh no…”

“Oh my Ra.”

“Oh dear!”

The watch was still bouncing on the table, spitting out even more of its springs and gears as it kept opening and closing rapidly like an oyster shell.

“Mad watch,” the March Hare exclaimed with a frightened look on his face. “Mad watch! Mad watch!”

He then took out the mallet as the watch continued to malfunction and spin out of control on the table, and stepped onto the edge of the table.

“There’s only one way to stop a mad watch!”

With that said, the March Hare gave the watch a powerful whack with his mallet, thus stopping the madness that was happening just now. However, the watch was now completely damaged and covered in jam and butter.

“Two days slow, dat’s what it is,” the Mad Hatter said, shoving the piled mess to the White Rabbit. The poor rabbit had tears in his eyes as he looked at his destroyed watch.

“Ohhh… my watch…,” he sobbed.

“It was??” the Mad Hatter asked him.

“It was an unbirthday present to me…” the White Rabbit added, still crying. Just then, he was lifted by the Mad Hatter and the March Hare.

“In that case…,” the March Hare said to him, and the boys began swinging the White Rabbit back and forth like a jump rope as they sang the important line of their unbirthday song:

A very merry unbirthday to you!

The Mad Hatter and the March Hare tossed the White Rabbit over the hedge, and Mai swiftly ran over to the gate as she called out: “Mr. Rabbit! Oh, Mr. Rabbit!”

She opened the gate and looked around, but there was no sight of the White Rabbit.

“Now where did he go to?” she said with a frustrated sigh. Mai heard the boys singing their unbirthday song and having their crazy tea party all over again, just as it was when she first met them.

“Of all the silly nonsense…,” Mai said, shaking her head in disgust as she marched away from the garden. “This is the most idiotic tea party I have ever been to in all my life!”
Mai then stopped in the forest and stomped her foot on the ground, frustrated about the most insane tea party she had ever seen and the two mad men she had to see under Cheshire Marik’s advice.

“I’ve had enough of this nonsense!” she complained, taking an eastern path that led to a dark part of the woods. “I’m going home! Straight home!”
This is the second longest chapter I have written so far! I personally think the chapter is humorous, due to the Mad Hatter's stupid yet crazy personality and the tea party Mai has with them. I hope you all remember the Mad Tea Party and enjoy this chapter! :)

Chapter Summary: Mai visits the Mad Hatter, the March Hare, and the Dor-Kuriboh during their mad tea party and thinks it is a birthday party for them. However, she learns from them that it is actually an "unbirthday" party and joins in the fun, until things become awkward due to the boys' idiocy and the White Rabbit's watch is destroyed by them. He is tossed out of the garden by the two, and Mai is unsuccessful in catching him after she goes off after him again. She becomes fed up with all the insanity she has encountered throughout her adventure and decides to find her way home... that is, if she knows where the only way home is.

Previous: camilia-chan.deviantart.com/ar…

Next: WIP

Yu-Gi-Oh! (c) Kazuki Takahashi
Alice in Wonderland (c) Lewis Carroll & Disney
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2p Hetalia x Child reader ch5

Warning- cursing, touchy subjects, bad grammar, and the 2ps. Don't like. I don't care!!!
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You opend the door. It revealed to be Maria. She was standing with her dad and some older boy. "Ciao guys!!! This is my papa and fratello!!!" She said happily. She seems more happy around them than in school. Steph was the same way. "Wazzup?" Steph said. All three of you did the epic handshake. She stepped in. Her father gave your daddy all of Maria's bags. "I'll be picking up mia ragazza at noon tomorrow. If she's not here you have trouble." He said. And with that her father and brother left.

"Well girls. I have only a couple rules. Don't make your little gang meetings quiet." Your daddy said. You all laughed. Then Maria thought of something. "Wait your papa know too? Phew I thought mine was the only one. Mio papa pulled my curl." She said. You giggled. "That's what our uncle Matt did to Doll." You said. Steph blushed.

The doorbell rang again. Standing there was Lili and Jason. Standing there were two men. Lili's brother Vash and Jason's dad Lutz. "Hallo. Vash vill pick them up." Lutz said handing Al both kids bags. Jason and Lili both walked in. All of you were so happy. Once the whole gang got here than you all could do your gang handshake. The doorbell rang again. This time your oncles got it. It was Peter and Raivis. Standing there was Bernard and Ivan. "Goodbye. Have my kid back by noon." Each man said and handed over the bags. Peter and Raivis ran up to the rest of the gang.

You all did an epic handshake. It was so much fun doing that. You all decided to go up into the tree house for the night. It had heat and ac. It also wasn't all that open. The windows were closeable and there was an actual door and a lot of space. You had to thank uncle Matt later. "Hey guys so who are our recent clients?" Steph asked. Peter answerd since he takes care of that stuff. "Well we just got a new client. He paid us twenty bucks to take down this 8th grader who was molesting him. The bully's name is Johnothan Jassarm. He's actually been requested a lot recently. So we should collect info on him then strike." He said. You all nodded.

"Enough of this boring crap. Let's play truth or dare!!! This is a sleepover after all." Jason said. You all nodded. "I go first!!! Lili truth or dare?" Maria asked. Lili thought deep about it. "Truth." She said. "Does your brother beat you at home? It seems like he does." She said. Lili nodded. We all hugged her.

"Ok. Raivis. Truth or dare?" She asked. Raivis laughed. "Dare duh. Gotta live life dangerous." He said. Lili smirked. "Kiss your crush. On the lips!!!" She laughed darkly. He smirked. He got real close to Steph. He kissed her. She ended up kissing back. When he pulled away she hit him upside the head. "Dumbass." She said. "You know you love me." He said pulling her into his lap. She blushed.

"Alright. Peter truth or dare?" Raivis asked. Peter always got called a sissy at school and he wanted to change that. "Dare." He said. Raivis laughed darkly. Everyone looked at poor Peter with fear for him. "I dare you to kiss Poppet on the lips. We all know you like her dude." He said. Peter looked down. "Is it really that obvious?" He asked. Raivis nodded. So Peter leaned in close to you and kissed you. At first you were stunned. I mean here was your crush saying he liked you and kissing you. You kissed back. Then he pulled away. "Be my girlfriend?" He asked. You nodded.

"Okay Jason truth or dare." Peter asked. Jason yawned. "Truth." He said bluntly. "Is it true you like Maria?" He questioned. Jason blushed. "Well she is hot. And she makes good food. So yeah." He said like it was no big deal. Maria slapped him across the face and then kissed him. "Idiota." She murmured.

What a sleepover. And how are all of our fathers going to react?
Hey guys ch5!!!! Hellz yeah!!!

So you guys really wanted the next part so here it is!!!!

I own absolutely nothing

Peter and Ollie own you~
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Characters: Sonic, Amy, Tails, Shadow, Scourge and two bikers.

It was an afternoon in Station Square and at Sonic's house Tails, Sonic and Amy was sitting on a couch and they all are bored. Sonic and Amy is now boyfriend and girlfriend and Tails is happy for it.

Sonic then yawns and looks at his friends. "There must be something to do" he said bored. Tails looked at his step-brother and was reading a book about mechanism. Amy cuddles a little with Sonic and kissed him on the cheek. Sonic smiled as he looked at her an Tails. "I think I'm gonna take a soda" he said as he gets up from the couch and reach for the fridge and grabs a cola. He gets back to the couch and sat next to Amy again. He takes two sip from his drink. Then suddenly Tails got an idea. "How about we go an play bowling" he said happily to Sonic and Amy. Sonic and Amy looks at each others and then discusses. "Well what do you think Ames?" Sonic asked Amy. "Sounds great but I can't bowling so well since it's not so much for girls like me" Amy said to Sonic. "I'll teach you" Sonic smirked to her. They turns to Tails and say yes to the idea. Tails smiles and they walked for the Bowling club.

When they arrived they put on diffrerent shoes and choosed each ball, Sonic took an dark blue, Amy an crimson one and Tails an green one. "4 rounds for Three people" Sonic asked for them to play in the checkout. He paid for them and they go to their lane. First it was Sonic who threw his ball away and he knocked down 8 of 10 pins. "I'm just getting started" he smirks as he tried to hurl himself like a bowlingball but gets stopped by Tails. "You are gonna get stuck there" Tails told Sonic. "Oh right" Sonic laughs a little and throws away the ball again and knocked down the two remaining pins. "I got spare" Sonic said happily.

Now it's Tails turn and he threw away his ball and knocked down 5 of 10 pins. Seconds later he threw the ball again and knocked three pins down. "Oh well, better luck next time" Tails said as he sat down. Sonic patted him on the shoulder. "Things happens pal"

Now it's Amy's tour and she threw away her ball but misses all 10 because the ball rolled at the sides. She sighs a little and Sonic gets up and he tells her, "I'll show you how you do right". "Okay Sonikku" Amy giggles and she gets her ball back and Sonic shows the right movements and she did the same and threw the ball away and got all ten pins down, a strike! "WOW!" she shouted in joy and hugs Sonic in a non-death hug.

"Okay, but it's my turn now Amy" Sonic said to Amy as he prepared to throw his bowling ball at the pins. He focused and spins right round and threws it away hardly at the pins and got an strike too! He spins around disco style and sat down. "Highfive Tails and Amy" Sonic joyfully tells Amy and Tails and they give him highfives.
Sonic, Amy and Tails are playing bowling one night and Shadow is joining them. Some romantic moments will happen here as well a little fighting too.
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HETALIA MEME THING!

-Name nine random Hetalia characters:
1. America
2. England
3. Sweden
4. Romania
5. Finland
6. Austria
7. Hungary
8. Prussia
9. Germany
Now for the fun part (I picked random numbers without seeing the original list):
- 1 and 4 go on a date
America and Romania go on a date…. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
- You see 2 shirtless
Now that I don’t mind… IGGY! LUV U!
- You eat dinner with 9
Eating dinner with Germany… not bad ^^
- 6 and 3 get in a fight
Austria and Sweden get into a fight…. OVER WHAT!?
- 7 and 9 get drunk
Hungary and Germany get drunk….. o.e
- 5 and 8 invite you over for a sleep over
Finland and Prussia invite you over for a sleep over…. Hehe I can hit Prussia in the face with a pillow! >:3
- You cook with 3
Cooking with Sweden…. Ok
- You fight with 4
Fight with Romania….. crap I am screwed
- You get run over by 7
I get run over by Hungary….. dammit
- You keep 1 as a pet
Keep America as a pet…. BEST PET EVER!
- You make 9 a servant
Germany my servant….. oh dear lord O.O

(try and put what you did in the comments… make the list BEFORE looking at the questions…))
random..... don't own Hetalia
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"Are any of you worried about the girls," Donnie worried.

"Relax Donnie, the girls are just getting ready, you know how long it take girls," Leo assured.

"I guess you're right," Donnie agreed. Just then the girls entered the room in stunning dresses, Holly lingering behind.

All the guys smiled at their girls and said together, "beautiful." Then they walked to their girls and took their hands.

"I don't know," Holly blushed looking down, "I couldn't do much about these," she said as she pulled her glasses forward as if Donnie couldn't already see them.

"It's fine, they make you look prettier," Donnie smiled at her before pushing them back up her nose. Then he leaned down and pecked her on the lips.

"Come on guys lets go," Leo said and they all left the lair.

..........

"Where are you taking us," smiled Rebecca, who always like surprises, as the guys lead the girls blind folded to the "dance".

"Some where special," Mikey replied to Rebecca. All the others followed every girl blinded by the boys. The boys finally dropped their hands and the girls gasped. Before them was a huge, beautiful room, lights low, table full of foods and drinks, and a stereo playing soft romantic music.

"It's beautiful," gasped Rosie.

"Meh, it's okay," Blair sighed, like always. The guys towed the girls to the center of the room, and started dancing. Just as Dark Waltz started playing Holly tripped and everything skipped back.

"Huh," Donnie questioned. Had the disk skipped. It played past the part and on. Donnie forgot all about it and continued on with his night, till Rebecca threw up because of the bad sushi. Next thing the guys new they were skipped back to Dark Waltz.

"Didn't this song just play, and how did we go back to dancing," Leo asked. Donnie thought and then something hit him.

"Guys... I saw this in a movie once... the night doesn't move on until we're all happy," Donnie explained. Everyone gasp except Blair. Everyone looked at her.

"What," she said, "I knew something was up, and we just have the luck that it's this, it's not that shocking." The other turned, Blair joining, and started to think of things to keep it a happy night.

"No one eat from the table they're bad, and be careful while dancing," Leo ordered. Everyone nodded and continued on with their night. Just when they thought they were safe Rosie was walking and twisted her ankle, in her heels. Once again everything went back to Dark Waltz.

"Great," Raph frowned. All the guys looked at their girls and told them to be extra careful while walking. The girls nodded, then it skipped back again.

"What happened now," Leo worried.

"I got bored and unhappy," Blair sighed. Raph took Blair onto the dance floor and started to dance with her, the other followed. After a few dances it struck mid-night.

"Finally," Donnie smiled, "it's a new day technically so we can be as unhappy as we want." The guys and girls laughed.

"Let's go back to the lair," suggested Rebecca so everyone went back to the lair.

..........

"Well, that's one night I won't forget," Mikey laughed as they entered the lair, "for many reason." Everyone laughed with him.
Sorry it's late but I was busy on Easter. Anywho Happy Late Easter!!!!! Hope you enjoy! :D
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