Title: ItaDei RP
Chapter: Twelve
Title of the Chapter: Okay, what no-
Part: One
Rateing: Un-mature
Anime: Naruto
Pairing: ItaDei ( Itachi X Deidara )
Disclaimer: I don not own any of Naruto or the Akatsuki







Deidara nodded, blinking and then looked down again. "Oh, un, okay, sorry just in case," he said softly as he smiled to Itachi's kiss. Deidara turned, finger to his lips. "Well, if I know correctly, un, there should be a nice little house that I stayed in when I... Un... Just a nice little house," Deidara cut himself off, waving his hand dismissively. Here was the place he had run to and made with his own hands. At first it had been rough, then he'd slowly built more and more as he'd gotten older and stronger. Before, of course, Itachi had caught him and forced him to Akatsuki. This would be the first time that he'd be there in many years. "It's just a bit this-" he cut off at the loud SPLASH sound and blinked, turning. Ouch. Itachi had found the river the hard way, or, the river had grown and gone underground in the time he'd been away. Moving quickly, Deidara knelt at the edge of the lake, reaching out his hand. "Ne, Itachi, get out of there or you'll catch a cold, un," Deidara said worriedly, holding his hand out, reaching for Itachi. He wasn't in favor of getting wet. He'd just recovered from the sickness-rather nasty one at that- he'd gotten when he went swimming in the snow and remained wet and cold.

Itachi stared upwards, listening to Deidara. As he watched the sky, he saw gaps. It was just thick trees... he only fell probably like three feet. Itachi grabbed the bank and pulled himself out before grabbing Deidara's hand to get him over the side of the little cliff. " That was weird.." He muttered, shivering now. " and okay. Lets go to the house thing." He shakily stood up, using Deidara as support before he straightened up. " Thanks Dei-kun. "

Deidara bit his lip, trying not to make a sound as his lower back hurt, pulling Itachi up and out of the small river, his other hand going up and supporting the others shoulders, smiling and laughing softly. "Yeah, you fell into the river, un," Deidara said softly as he gently touched Itachi's face, moving some of the ebony hair from his face. "Don't thank me, come on, un, we need to get you inside and warmed before you catch a cold, I'm not playing nurse-maid for you, I've seen shows where a person in my position would do dirty things, dress in skimpy stuff and do everything asked of them, un," he said, pulling Itachi's hand in the direction of the house. Obviously, he wasn't too eager on dressing in skimpy stuff. It would be fun, yeah, just not a twenty four seven thing, they were uncomfortable some of those outfits. They were designed to be worn briefly then stripped off by the lover. Not be worn for hours on end. What? Okay, let's just say he'd gotten a bit drunk and been dared to dress in certain stuff back in the Akatsuki. Don't laugh! It had taken a chunk of his dignity. Though, he hadn't seen anyone's faces, he'd been staring down at his hands the whole time.

" But you already do what I ask you to do." Itachi purred and licked Deidara's cheak. He walked alongside Deidara towards the house. Seriously. Sometimes he thought that Deidara watched way too much Television. ' I've seen this happen. ' '  This and this happen in my soapes. ' Blah blah blah. Itachi just didn't understand why Deidara would watch someone's stupid drama filled life while he could be doing something with his own life. Their lives weren't even real. Just a stupid script. Ugh. It drove him crazy! But still. He loved his little blond to death and beyond that.

Deidara blinked, narrowing his eyes, blushing deeply. "Hnn, yeah, a little too easily. Thankfully you haven't requested I dress in a skimpy maids outfit yet, un," Deidara said in a pout before sighing and smiling. "Not that I'd object to it, un!" Deidara said with a small laugh, pulling Itachi still, needing to use said raven haired male as a support, stumbling and wincing quite a bit. His back HURT. Seeing the small house, he smiled. It was exactly the same, add the bushed and overgrown grass and vines snaking its way around it and it was identical. "Ah, feels good to be home, un," Deidara said absently to himself as he let go of Itachi's hand, carefully kneeling down on the ground and bending over, frowning.

Now... If only he remembered where he hid the god-damned key. Reaching under the door, he winced. He'd been a whole lot shorter and thinner to be able to snake his whole hand under the doorway. But that had been... Geez, a few years ago now. He'd grown and been fattened up. Admittedly, before he was nearly a skeleton with skin and some muscle. Smirking as his fingers wrapped around a small key he pulled his hand back slowly, carefully standing and unlocking the door, pausing. He knew there was nothing inside, no reason to be scared or anything... So... Why was he hesitating? He remembered setting up a trap so that no unwanted guests could enter his home. "How do I disable the trap, un?" He mused out loud, re-locking the door and pocketing the key. He didn't want Itachi to think that he was just scared, no, Deidara didn't want Itachi to get speared and then covered in explosive tags...

Itachi watched Deidara a few feet away. " Well while you are doing that, I'm going to find some fruits or something. I only get hungry every three days. " He said and care fulled walked towards the edge of the small clearing, looking up at the trees to see what type they were. It was mid spring, so only a few plants would have ripened back home, but this wasn't home.  Itachi sighed. He would have to hunt something then. Hopefully there would be animals that were large enough. Like Deer. He took a step forward and an odd thought came to his mind. What if Deidara already had food in there. Honey never gets old. That's the only think he could think of that would of lasted a few years. The Uchiha shook his head. Meh. He would just go kill a deer. They were good. With the final thought, Itachi made his way into the woods, looking at the ground and around him, Sharingan on.

Deidara gave a nod, smiling behind him. "No problem, I had a vegetable patch around the side and some fruit trees too, un, I think theres a butter churner and an esky back there too, un, not sure how usable and how fresh some of the stuff is, but there's bound to be lots of fruit and veggies, un," Deidara called to him as he then smiled. "Be safe, I love you, un!" He called with a bright smile. He turned back to the door, frowning a bit before blinking and smiling. He'd just remembered. He set his hands to work at chewing the clay before a small bird floated up in the air. Specially designed to follow orders. He sent the minuscule bird in through the crack in the door, commanding it to set the trap off before smiling.

Itachi heard Deidara and veered to his left towards the back of the little house. The plants would either be dead, or unkempt. Itachi blinked. They were well kept. As if someone had been working on them every day and watering them. The Uchiha knelt down and touched the soil. It was damp. " Oi. Tori-chan, come here I want you to see something." He called, using Deidara's girl name in case whoever was watching the plants was near.  Hopefully, Deidara would come to him.

Deidara blinked, moving over to the edge of the door. Tori-chan? Who the hell- Oh, him. He frowned before putting on his best feminine walk and giggling as he peeked his head around the corner. "What is it love?" he asked softly in a girl tone, trying to cut off his trademark 'un'. Blinking, he noticed the plants. How... Odd... Perhaps not so odd, it rained a bit here so they should have gotten enough water, but... The fact that they weren't all over the place was... Odd. "Oh my, look, someone's kept my little garden neat!" He exclaimed in genuine shock, just with added femininity, moving from around the house, half limping to the raven haired male and bent down to the best of his abilities to study the plants further.

Itachi tolled his eyes, remembering why he hated girls. At least with Deidara already looking feminine they could get through a lot of problems. " Yeah, but we haven't been her in years. You didn't ask someone to look after them did you? " He asked gently and touched a tomato lightly. Offly enough, they were just about ripe enough to eat, but what made it odd was that no animal had came and ate them first. There was no fence or anything to stop them... Itachi sighed and stood up. " This is stupid. Their just fucking plants. Lets leave them alone and get inside. I'm still cold and wet." He said softly and held a hand out to help Deidara if he needed it because he was hurting. If Deidara didn't take it, he was fine with that. It met that Deidara could take care of himself. That was good.

This was... Odd. To say the least. His plants were... Well, the weirdest damn things. He shook his head, inspecting some of the tomatoes. "No, I don't recall, we just left it," he mumbled softly, still in the feminine voice. Hearing Itachi he looked up and nodded smiling. He placed his hand on the ground, not noticing Itachi's until he stumbled and fell. Lord, this part was always the most painful, moving right after sex. He bit his lip, taking Itachi's hand as a 'just in case he fell again' type of thing, lifting himself up, gripping Itachi's hand slightly tighter when his back hurt but then loosened it, managing to stand up and he smiled, moving closer and softly kissing Itachi's neck and shivered. "Inside. I'm running you a hot bath and getting you changed to something warm," Deidara said softly, almost in a command. What? He wasn't playing nurse to Itachi when he got hypothermia, well, he would, but it would be a bother and Itachi wouldn't like lying in bed all day for days on end. Leading the other to the front, he sent another bird to be his eye and see if the trap was disabled. When it returned and gave him the go ahead, he pushed open the door, surprised when it didn't creak and looked inside, reaching for the drawer beside the door, pulling out a candle and matches, lighting it and going inside slowly. "Come on, bathroom's this way, I'll find you some clothes, but they might be a bit tight. You're lucky I wore baggy clothes when I was younger, un."

Itachi followed Deidara, taking one last look at the weird garden. He shook his head, water droplets splaying everywhere as his hair came undone roughly. He looked behind him. His hair had been wet. There was no way that it could of came undone that quickly with no help. As Deidara started talking to him, Itachi looked forwards. " Yeah. " He didn't even hear what the other had said, his mind was too occupied.

Deidara smiled as he walked through the house, barely visible footprints left behind in the tiny layer of dust on the floor, moving to one room and pushing the door open, placing the candle on the sink and opening a cupboard, pulling out some towels and placing them on the cleanest place he found before moving to the bath turning on the tap and starting to make the water warmer. It couldn't be hot at first or Itachi's body may go into shock. He didn't want that. Setting it to warm he turned to Itachi, smiling. "There you go, un, I'll go raid my cupboard and see if I left anything in there, okay, un?" He said softly with a smile as he started to slowly move out of the bathroom, leaving the candle on the sink for Itachi.

Itachi nodded to Deidara, still thinking about the garden. He sat down on the counter and blinked. Itachi looked over to Deidara as he was leaving. " Wait!" He got up and ran over to Deidara, pushing him down and pinning him there. " Chronos don't you dare do anything to him!" Chronos chuckled all around them. " I think I'm going to make your life worse, Itachi-sama. " Again, his voice sounded from all directions. " I'll start by taking the blond. " Chronos froze time again and moved Itachi off of Deidara. He bit down on the blond's shirt and pulled him outside, turning and taking him to the woods. The fox let go of the still body and laid down in front of him, his eyes shining brightly as he placed his paws on Deidara's cheeks.  He undid time and spoke softly. " Deidara-sama. Can I play a game with Itachi-sama? It'll be fun. You can help." He blinked his green eyes hopefully.

Deidara blinked, turning slightly, seeing Itachi dive at him and felt his back hit the ground, making him wince and whimper softly. "Ne, Itachi, please be gentle with me this time if you want to fuck again, un," Deidara mumbled as he looked up at Itachi who had him pinned to the ground. He then blinked, frowning and remained still. Okay, when Itachi said that, he realized it wasn't Itachi wanting to have fun, it seemed Chronos was involved. Damn fox, two faced. Deidara didn't know whether to help him get a body, or take advantage of the fact that he's a small fox about the same size as a pillow to be used through a soap show... He shut his eyes, looking around. Where the hell was that coming from? He was getting frightened. Make their life worse? Wait? Take the blond? TAKE HIM!? "What, un!?" Deidara cried out, moving to grab a hold of Itachi. Unaware time had frozen, when he felt cold air hit him and paws on his face he gasped softly, shivering before blinking, nearly screaming. That fox was damn creepy in this angle and with this lighting. "P-Play a game, un? That wasn't funny! I thought you were going to try and rape me or something, un!" Deidara whimpered, placing his hands over the foxes paws and moving them so he could sit up carefully, letting the fox sit in his lap. He sighed, looking at him. "Depends what type of game, and if you scare me shitless like that again, then no, but, I am interested... Ita-kun needs to liven up a bit more than when I'm moaning under him, un," Deidara said bluntly.

Chronos chuckled and waved his tail, placing the entire house in a ' bubble' what ever you want to call it so that time didn't move. " Now, I need answers to the following questions... What is Itachi scared of the most? How would you scare him if you could? What is his least favorite thing in the world? Who does he care for the most? Any information like that, tell me and I'll put them all into the form of a plan to get Itachi spazzing. He had never been scared before in his life, and he doesn't see why other people get scared. So this way, with time on our side, the Sharingan will do nothing to help him.  " Chronos said softly and got out of Deidara's lap. " And Deidara. I come up to your stomach and Itachi's waist. I'm not small. " He muttered and looked at the house, thinking of what he could do with it.

Deidara frowned slightly, biting his lip. "I dunno, scare him? Isn't that a bit far, I mean, it would be cruel to fake scare him if northing's really wrong, un. I mean, if something really does happen eventually, he won't come as fast because he'll think it's fake again or will be angry, un," Deidara mused softly. He really didn't want Itachi to be upset with him, he couldn't risk loosing his lover. Deidara shifted slightly as he bit his lip. "I guess I know the answers to a few of those things, but, I doubt some of them would help. Like least favorite thing is probably my 'bitching' as he calls it or my shows, un," Deidara said with a sigh, shaking his head. "But that won't scare him unless you tie him up and force him to watch the episodes with me, but even then that might just turn to irritation, boredom or even put him to sleep, un," Deidara mumbled. He was really unsure if he wanted to help Chronos scare him. Seeing the fox climb off his lap he sighed in some relief. That fox. Was. Heavy. Deidara rolled his eyes and nodded. "Yeah, I know, but after being fucked I didn't want you sitting where it hurt and I'm pregnant so I didn't want a weight on my stomach. In my lap on my legs is fine, un," Deidara rebutted, gently placing his hands over his stomach and smiling slightly.

Chronos sighed softly. " Then I'll just make both of your lives a living nightmare. " His eyes flashed to a purple and then to a black then to the Sharingan. " Deidara! H-help me! It's Dea-" He shoved his head into the ground and his eyes changed back to green. " Sorry. I've been having these strange moments, now back to scaring him... well.. life's not fun without a good scare. " He clicked his teeth together and sat back down. " Itachi needs to get shown what others feel like when they are scared. He'll understand your fears better. " Chronos said, looking at him.

Deidara blinked, frowning slightly, blinking a few times. That was odd... Especially went he fox basically face planted himself. He had to hold back a small giggle at that. "That's alright, you have your strange moments, just, don't destroy my house or hurt Itachi or the kids, okay, un?" Deidara asked softly. He then sighed, nodding. "I guess that's true, but real scares you can live without, un," Deidara mumbled. But when he heard the last sentence he froze. Itachi was always insulting how he ran off at some of his fears, how he avoided them. Maybe... Maybe Itachi would understand him better if he felt fear too, maybe he wouldn't get mocked and feel weak when he got scared... He gave a firm nod, smirking. "I don't know what Itachi's scared of most, if I could scare him I'd fake my death, least favorite thing probably is my 'bitching' and soap shows, He cares for me most, I guess, haven't seen him fuck anyone else, and, any other information, un? Um... Not off the top of my head," Deidara said quickly.

Chronos listened. " Yeah. Your death would be good. Loosing a loved one is something that one can only understand if it really happens to them. "  The fox nodded and looked up at the moon. " Okay, so how to fake your death?"  He asked softly, bringing his head back down to Deidara again. " I want you to pick it, not me. Mkay? "

Deidara nodded, biting his lip. "Yeah, but I'm worried it would have a negative affect on Ita-kun, I don't want him to change, I'd want him to understand fear, but, you know, if he breaks down or gets really depressed or gets mad at me for doing that, then, I don't want to do it, un. Only if you can guarantee on everything you are, then I'll do it, un," Deidara said firmly. Obviously he wasn't pleased with loosing the father of his children, or having him become distressed, anxious or the like. He then sighed. "Explosion's too obvious. He'd get suspicious, if only slightly, if my death is an explosion, un. That's my ideal death. So it would have to be something else, like, a stabbing. We could fake a ninja attack and I could fight them off but get stabbed or cut across the throat. People don't last long when their throats been slit, un," Deidara said softly. He then shook his head. Why was he being so morbid and thinking up methods of death!? Honestly...

Chronos blinked gently. " Now would you truly want to fake your death to teach him something?  To get him to understand you better? Or would you prefer to talk to him about it?  " Chronos asked softly, his teeth glinting in the moon lightly. " Do you really want to do this to him?" He asked, starting to circle him, his green eyes flashing with each step he took. " Alas, but what would your excuse be to him? Why would you want to scare him in the first place? " Chronos gave the blond a quizzical look.

Deidara blinked, watching the fox circle him and bit his lip, his knees to his chest as he shivered. It was cold outside, but he was being circled... Like prey. He felt like a mouse again, except he felt safer as a mouse being able to hide in the burrow. He swallowed, looking down and shrugged. "I don't know, if I just talked to him he'd probably laugh or say fear was stupid and I was just being weak or something... Showing him what it feels like to be afraid would be good, but... I don't want it to have a negative, or permanent, effect on him, un," Deidara said softly as he looked up at Chronos. "Can you reverse time and memories? If so, we could do it and if it's a bad reaction, then rewind time and his memories so it never happens, un," Deidara said softly.

Chronos moved a little towards Deidara so that the circle was tighter. " Can I? Can. I?" Chronos narrowed his green eyes. " I've already rewound Itachi's eyes and locked up some emotions. Of course I can rewind time and memories. What do you take me for? A fox? You know that I still need my new body. You owe me that... " He pulled his lips backwards to show almost all of his sharp teeth.  " I'll do that if you want me to. " He nodded and went behind Deidara. " Now. A plan. Tell me your plan and I'll make it so. " He said gently as he walked in front of Deidara.

Deidara blinked, wincing and biting his lip. He'd said something wrong and he knew it. Damn, now he REALLY wanted to rewind time and take that back. "Okay, I know, sorry, un," Deidara mumbled. He then blinked and looked down. "I'll help you get one, un, but, I don't know what your body looked like, or, even where to find a body like that," Deidara admitted softly. He then nodded. "Yeah, if it goes wrong, wipe his memories and rewind time, un. Otherwise..." He paused and smiled a bit. "You'll have to help me get back into the house and get back under Itachi so it looks like time was never paused, un. Then I'll just say Itachi hallucinated due to the cold, he fell in the river, un," Deidara quickly added, just in case the fox didn't know. "Then I'll send him back to the bath and say that I was going to raid the cupboards and the gardens to get some food ready for him, and then there can be a silent 'ninja attack' and I could get stabbed, throat slit and just kinda be waiting for him to try hunt me down. I'll try make a bit of noise, but, the only problem is... How do I make my wounds look real, un?" Deidara asked softly. He was very into the plan and teaching Itachi a lesson in fear, inside he was giggling with excitement and going crazy with evil smirks and excitement, but, he tried not to let that show, the concern showed through first.

Chronos sat down in front of Deidara and listened. " I can do that. And as for your wounds, Leave that to me. I can hold your heart in time and freeze your body so that you are as close to dead as you can be. Your pulse and heart will not be beating. " He said and smiled again. This was going to be fun. "I'll rewind time right now, but not your memories. Just your body. " He said gently and looked up at the moon. " Tell me when you are ready. " He muttered, bring his green gaze back down to him.

Deidara blinked, biting his lip faintly. Leave the wounds to him? He rather wouldn't, who know what the fox may come up with... But... He had no other choice. He nodded. "Fine, I'll leave that up to you, and that's good, so long as I'm not actually dead, un," Deidara mumbled. No. He'd rather not die for real. He wanted to stay alive, be with Itachi and his soon-to-be family. He then nodded, smiling. "Okay, I'm ready, un," He said as he smiled. He was hoping this would go well...

Chronos nodded to Deidara and waved his tail towards the house and rewound time. He pulled Deidara backwards into the house and jumped up on the ceiling, his black fur out of the candle light. Itachi blinked softly and looked at Deidara. " Deidara.." He looked up. " I think that Chronos might be here..you just be careful!" He called as Deidara walked off. If the fox hurt him... GOD! why did Chronos have to be immortal! Itachi walked over to the bath and dipped his hand in. The warm water slid around it.  " How did Deidara get water? A water heater to be more exact.." He muttered, but found it better if he didn't. It was water. Who cares how it got there warm.  Chronos crawled along the ceiling above Deidara, looking  up for him down at Deidara. " Remember.." He whispered and winked.

Deidara turned to Itachi, blinking a bit. Oh that's right, time had rewound... Damn, he had to be ready faster, but he recovered fast, it just looked like Itachi had caught him off guard while walking. He smiled and nodded. "I'll be careful, you just relax and enjoy that bath, un, I'll have dinner ready for you by the time you get out, okay, un?" Deidara said with a smile as he left, moving through the kitchen and shuffling around in the cupboards and blinked. He'd kept food storage as high as possible and all dried, canned or preserved some other way. He smiled to himself. He was very organized and independent younger... Moving outside, he decided to 'get some fruit', looking around for Chronos. When he heard the voice he looked up, nodding briefly. Although... He had to wonder how the hell they would fake wounds real enough that he was 'bleeding'... That was the only thing he was worried about... And the fake ninja attack, would he just basically lie down and say there was a ninja attack or was Chronos ACTUALLY summoning something to beat the crap out of him, or, fake beat the crap out of him. Ah, it didn't matter, so long as the pain wasn't permanent or real.

Chronos purred and looked at him. " Okay. Just start yelling and shit. " He said and pounced on Deidara, clawing at him. The fox sunk his teeth on each of Deidara's hands and quickly rakes his body. He swiped the blond's throat and jumped back, unfreezing time, blood on the grass. " You're too easy to play. You know that?" He smiled and jumped back into some bushes. Itachi turned the water off and stared at it. He didn't really want to get back into water. He stood up and looked down at his wet clothes. Maybe if he changed, Deidara would think that he had taken the bath, but he didn't get his head underwater. Yup. Itachi went over to the drawers and pulled them out, getting the ones that should fit him.

Deidara blinked nervously. He didn't like the sound of that. "Start yelling, un?" Deidara whispered before seeing Chronos pounce. He got it now, Chronos was actually going to inflict him with wounds, he was just dying for an excuse to do that, he knew. He let out a cry of fear before feeling himself hit the ground, another cry of pain escaping him, unaware time had frozen. But as time restarted and the pain hit him at once he let out a strangled scream before is voice got lost in his throat, coughing harshly, blood running from his mouth. He whimpered softly, turning to his side, wincing and looked down at his arms and hands, shutting his eyes, coughing and spitting out nearly a mouthful of blood, looking up at the doorway. "Ita- Ita... chi..." he wheezed, coughing again. Deidara was panicking, he could feel his life slipping already, hoping to hell that fox froze time and let him live. He collapsed on his stomach, eyes fluttering shut, his breathe getting shorter. Being a long distance fighter, his stamina and bodily weakness wasn't the best it could be, so the wounds hurt him more, he was already starting to loose feeling, the cold becoming stronger though.

Itachi blinked at the screams. He turned and ran outside , looking for Deidara in the dark. The moon. It wasn't there.. no.. it was an eclipse! Crap. Itachi activated his Sharingan and looked through the darkness at Deidara. " Oh fuck." He jumped over to Deidara and placed his hand to his throat and started healing him the best he could. His Mangekyo Sharingan starting to change. " Dei. If you die righ-" " He will if you don't do what I want you to." Chronos stepped out of the bushes and looked at Itachi. Perfect. His eyes were already switching. " Give me your bloodline. All of it. You know that I can save him." He growled softly and stopped walking about five meters away from the blond and Itachi. " You already took-" " I know. He gave them too me. I thought that they would change as I used them, but they don't. Now that you are about to get a form that is exceedingly rare, I'm going to take yours. So what is going to be? Give me your eyes, or Deidara dies!"