I'm good at getting what I want
And right now, I want you
You look like you've got love to give
Let's see what we can do
I'll bat my eyes, you'll crack a joke
You'll feint and I will parry
I make a hint, you flash a look
Our verbal circles wary
You make your move, cut to the chase
I'm hunted down like prey
I surrender as your trophy
And you carry me away
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©2008 `amolerouth
Details
Submitted: May 18
File Size: 546 bytes
Image Size: 0 bytes
Resolution: 0×0
Comments: 2
Favourites & Collections: 0
Views
Total: 90
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Total: 1
Today: 0
Thumb
Submitted: May 18
File Size: 546 bytes
Image Size: 0 bytes
Resolution: 0×0
Comments: 2
Favourites & Collections: 0
Views
Total: 90
Today: 0
Downloads
Total: 1
Today: 0
Thumb
Author's Comments
Advanced critique encouraged, but please remember that this is a song, and that the otherwise unforgivable flaws in metre are integral parts of the flow & melody. If you want a sound clip of me singing this, please let me know.
Of course, this is a work in progress - and your critique will help bring me one step closer to completion.
Of course, this is a work in progress - and your critique will help bring me one step closer to completion.
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Devious Comments
For a song, you should add a chorus. Something simple, but that really drives the point home (pun inuendo'd). You've got 3 great verses!
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