A subtle familiarity tugged at the edge of her mind as she peered around the alley, a tide of panic beginning to rise as her memories flooded back into her mind. In an instant, she was at full attention, her ears straining for hints of danger through the rain, every shadow holding a potential horror, her heart racing as she peered into every one. Slowly, she began to relax, her fear turning to worry as she tentatively called out a name, in vain hope for a response.
“Sakura…?”
Only the sound of the rain, now a light drizzle, reached her ears. They’d been separated in the chaos, and now she could be almost anywhere. The realization struck her like a physical blow, but, before the tears could even begin to well, the rain suddenly increased, seeming to pour down by the gallon, flattening her copious, spiky black hair, soaking her shirt and jeans. A discarded jacket caught her eye; shrugging it on, she took stock of herself and the alley one more time as she zipped up the jacket and turned up the collar, as much to conceal the large scar across her left cheek as to ward off the cold rain. She dipped her hands into the pockets of her jeans, sighing in relief upon feeling the small metal case, somehow still unusually warm in spite of the rain. For a moment she just held it, feeling it, feeling that familiar temptation, the siren song of power, pulling at the edges of her consciousness, before shaking it off. Touching her waist lightly, she nodded to herself; old habits die hard, but she pulled her jacket down to guard against prying eyes.
She furtively glanced around the alley, looking for any trace of her presence. Above her unfortunate resting place was a smear of blood on the wall, a brick cracked and chipped where she’d hit her head. With a quick, furtive glance, she covered the blood with her hand, and then quickly hurried out of the alley, leaving behind no trace but a charred spot on the wall, steaming in the rain.
She darted from shelter to shelter along the unfamiliar streets, finally pausing under the awning of a coffee shop. A newspaper stand that evidently doubled as an impromptu ashtray for the shop patrons offered the day’s serving of dull factoids and morbid voyeurism. Crouching in front of the machine, she peered through the once-transparent window, concentrating on the bold headline that touted the paper’s centennial.
Finally, the familiarity made sense, and after a few moments to dry herself a bit, she again set out, without direction or purpose beyond the deeply felt need to keep moving, lest her thoughts catch up to her.
Three streets later, she paused again, this time at the window of an appliance and electronics shop. Several TV’s were displayed invitingly as the security cameras watched over them, Disney’s animated Pinocchio playing on a loop to put a ‘family-friendly’ face forward. As she watched the blue fairy transform Pinocchio into a real boy, the cold glass eyes of the cameras scrutinized her, their finely tuned monochromatic view indifferent to the tears mingling with rain on her cheeks.















Devious Comments
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Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror.
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I don't know what's wrong with DA, but somehow some people can see them and others can't. I think I may have solved it, though.
Thanks very much for the comment; feedback is the whole reason I signed up for DA. A clarification, though (because it's been forever since english class), by atmosphere, do you mean the general feeling of the setting, or of the character, or both and how they mathc? Should I more emphasize the pre-storm gloom and such, or perhaps add some wind gusts as when she freaks out about, well, something you'll meet later?
Again, thanks very much for the input!
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So, a socialist werewolf and an alien rocker walk into a lesbian bar... [link]
Your critique is in your email.
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=DailyDeviants *abstractdeviants
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So, a socialist werewolf and an alien rocker walk into a lesbian bar... [link]
great stuff ^_^
your lucky to have some enthusiatic critiques up there
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Nope, because Ryan said hed shove my Playstation up my ass sideways if I made shit up.
Morphogenesis:[link]
By Mokele
Out of curiousity, how did you stumble across me?
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So, a socialist werewolf and an alien rocker walk into a lesbian bar... [link]
well on the poetry and pose forum there was a thread about the reasons one writes, and i liked what you said ^_^ so i thought i'd check out some writing
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i think thats how
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Nope, because Ryan said hed shove my Playstation up my ass sideways if I made shit up.
Morphogenesis:[link]
By Mokele
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When I'm on the mic, girlies wanna flizzirt
But I tell'm chill like a DQ Blizzard.
Roses are red, voilets are blue, all my base, are belong to you
Mokele
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So, a socialist werewolf and an alien rocker walk into a lesbian bar... [link]
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