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Daily Deviation
May 18, 2013
Lilac II - tanka by ~Atheshya is a beautiful tanka with imagery as serene as a midnight respite, says the suggester.
Featured by Nichrysalis
Suggested by Concora
Literature Text
a star-glow
connects their breaths -
a river path.
in lilac light
she forgets to sigh.
connects their breaths -
a river path.
in lilac light
she forgets to sigh.
Literature
Nonno's Garden
It’s strange to think that you’re not here anymore.
I remember when we were younger and we’d arrive to see you. The first place we’d go was to the window, pressing our faces against the glass to try and catch a glimpse of you. We’d look out, and you’d be there. Like you always were. In the garden.
Each trip was different, an adventure. There were rows of neatly sown lettuce seeds, bean stalks twice as tall as we were, ripe strawberries just waiting to be found by our greedy little fingers. Tomatoes would be taken and made into sauce, lemons would be squeezed to create limoncello, grapes transformed into
Literature
Shedding Stars II
you were the sky i was
the sea, with the sun
- apart.
in an offering of light
you wore the night as i
called your stars down
into me.
Literature
Waiting
We are still waiting for the thunder from the distant stars,
The echo of mortality,
the whispers of a storm, half-remembered,
in sepia-coloured hallways in buildings that smell like books.
Time gets slow in waiting,
ghosts are formed from the wanting,
taking shape in the spaces where sunlight,
or moonlight doesn't touch.
The stars shake from the vibration,
and the ghosts shimmer in anticipation,
but we can't hear your voice in the dead of the night.
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About 'Lilac':
This is a series of poems that are each the same idea translated into different poetry forms from different parts of the world.
About 'Lilac II':
Japanese style. This is a tanka. One of the main requirements for it is that each line/unit has a certain number of morae, which are a unit of speech smaller than syllables. [link] The pattern of morae per line/unit is 5-7-5-7-7.
As far as I could tell, tanka have far less rules than haiku, though are still supposed to be about nature and the seasons. They are apparently often written in Japanese as just one line, rather than as five. This would make a closer to traditional version of this poem be:
a star-glow connects their breaths - a river path. in lilac light she forgets to sigh.
I think I failed here entirely. This is way less about tangible reality than it's supposed to be… but as it was neither easy nor fun to write, I don't feel like trying again.
Lilac I: [link]
Lilac III: [link]
Lilac IV: [link]
~Obligatory post-DD update~
Oh my goodness guys. Oh wow. Thanks to the suggester, all who commented, just... wow. Was not expecting this in the slightest! Looks that I didn't "fail here entirely" after all. ^-^
This is a series of poems that are each the same idea translated into different poetry forms from different parts of the world.
About 'Lilac II':
Japanese style. This is a tanka. One of the main requirements for it is that each line/unit has a certain number of morae, which are a unit of speech smaller than syllables. [link] The pattern of morae per line/unit is 5-7-5-7-7.
As far as I could tell, tanka have far less rules than haiku, though are still supposed to be about nature and the seasons. They are apparently often written in Japanese as just one line, rather than as five. This would make a closer to traditional version of this poem be:
a star-glow connects their breaths - a river path. in lilac light she forgets to sigh.
I think I failed here entirely. This is way less about tangible reality than it's supposed to be… but as it was neither easy nor fun to write, I don't feel like trying again.
Lilac I: [link]
Lilac III: [link]
Lilac IV: [link]
~Obligatory post-DD update~
Oh my goodness guys. Oh wow. Thanks to the suggester, all who commented, just... wow. Was not expecting this in the slightest! Looks that I didn't "fail here entirely" after all. ^-^
© 2011 - 2024 Atheshya
Comments22
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How is this a failure? It is quite tangible. I have seen starglows, breaths, river paths and lilac lights. And forgetting to sight is real enough. This is not failure.