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Pain by ~pnkrockgrl03:iconpnkrockgrl03:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Human Nature > Spoken Word


the greatest pain in my life still remains
holding you as my burden
when the night comes i will wake and see the burning in your eyes once again...

one last time...

you will soon then realize i have one escape that you can not hold me from...

death swept her away with her tears
©2004-2008 ~pnkrockgrl03
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Submitted: October 19, 2004
File Size: 417 bytes
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Resolution: 0×0
Comments: 12
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Author's Comments

umm, this is very short. it doesn't rhyme. it probly doesn't have any flow. but i wrote it, and here it is.
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~empAthee75:iconempAthee75: Oct 19, 2004, 4:55:21 PM
It's simple and stays true to the title :)

Why don't you try placing caps at the right places or for the right words for that matter? And a final punctuation after death swept her away with her tears would give an impact :) Just thoughts.
~Shady-Lurker:iconShady-Lurker: Oct 19, 2004, 4:59:01 PM
Glad you decided to submit it, like I said its awesome, another awesome peice from Sherry Brunelle. :clap:

--
The air is black as can be. Can't even see that my hand is front of me. I'm over hearing a whisper "They wont escape, until the blood is set free."
~pnkrockgrl03:iconpnkrockgrl03: Oct 19, 2004, 5:44:26 PM
aww, thanx =) *blushes*

--
look beyond what you see,
believe more than whats meant to be free,
the only thing that will be left of reality is the beauty of you and me.
~pnkrockgrl03:iconpnkrockgrl03: Oct 19, 2004, 5:48:16 PM
i like things to be kept simple... things are complex enough as is. plus i write for my own meening. not for others =) thanx for the comment though

--
look beyond what you see,
believe more than whats meant to be free,
the only thing that will be left of reality is the beauty of you and me.
~Shady-Lurker:iconShady-Lurker: Oct 19, 2004, 6:33:56 PM
lol, yer welcome

--
The air is black as can be. Can't even see that my hand is front of me. I'm over hearing a whisper "They wont escape, until the blood is set free."
~empAthee75:iconempAthee75: Oct 19, 2004, 7:37:22 PM
Ah, okay :nod: You're welcome.
~darkrabbit213:icondarkrabbit213: Oct 20, 2004, 4:58:57 AM
good!

--
Batgirl is my hero.
~pnkrockgrl03:iconpnkrockgrl03: Oct 20, 2004, 11:59:41 AM
aww, thank you

--
look beyond what you see,
believe more than whats meant to be free,
the only thing that will be left of reality is the beauty of you and me.
~pnkrockgrl03:iconpnkrockgrl03: Oct 20, 2004, 12:00:56 PM
*wink*

--
look beyond what you see,
believe more than whats meant to be free,
the only thing that will be left of reality is the beauty of you and me.
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