Yay ventingOkay so first things first, I am pissed with how people view me. Not the deviantart community, exactly, just everyone.Yay venting9 minutes ago in Emotional More Like This
They all expect more than I can give and it pisses me off.
People think they know me, they think that I'm some optimistic, intelligent, and modest person. Okay, maybe they're right about modesty but I'm not anything like that.
I'm a cynical, anti-social, pessimistic person. They just assume I'm the opposite because I like to help others with their problems.
We'll find fact; I fucking hate talking and interacting with others.
I said it. I'm better off by myself in almost every aspect of my life.
Everyone assumes that I'm happy and fun and stuff.... Actually, no, I'm not.
I never even want to be out in public, that's why I like the car ride better.
To be completely honest, I 100% prefer to sit in my bedroom, play video games, watch movies, and draw rather than going out into public, walking around the park, and maybe going
You're wonderful ScottI don't think I've had a more stronger respect for someone I barely know then I do for Scott. Go ahead and take a look. T.TYou're wonderful Scott2 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
Nova SphereNova Sphere4 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
I call upon the fire...
I call upon the heat...
I call upon the magma...
I call upon the sun...
I call upon everything that is bright...and finally I call upon the eternal light.
All those who stray from the light must eventually come back to it.
Whether they be human or devil. Whether by will or by force.
None can escape from this inevitability.
Pity you must end like this. But perhaps this is where you will get your second chance.
I am no one to judge, but until then...
May he allow us to cross paths again.
here's to......here to the children who cut themselveshere's to......5 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
here to the ones who hung themselves
here to the ones who open the car door and jump when it is moving
here to the ones with cancer
here to the ones who are hospitalized
here to the ones who killed themselves
here to the ones who are bullied
here to the ones every one gave up on
here to the ones that suffered
here to the ones with a heart disease
you know vacation is time to relax. well some do it to escape. I will send my prayers out to anyone who has done it or not. the ones who know someone. I know how it feels. losing one you love, having cancer, being gave up on, suffering, heart disease, and getting bullied. I can relate to it. I don't have cancer but many of the women in my family do. it is scary to know that and question if you might have it. I have lost many with a few heart problems, and feeling that jiggered hurt in your chest hurts. I have been bullied all my life from 5th all the way into high school even at home. many h
Spread The LoveAs part of the human race, we share bad experiences and bad situations. It's how we get through them that makes us the great ones- the ones others look up to.Spread The Love7 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
You know, when I was a little kid and I mentally spoke to myself, my imagination ran wild and I actually believed that there was another little girl connected to my brain, speaking to me. Likewise, when we share the same first name, and sometimes, even the same instances, we share the same strength. For example, somewhere in this world, there is a...
Dear, sweet Meg. Nobody understands you, do they? You're the girl who sits at the back of the class and only answers when the teacher asks you to. They say you're the mean girl- a bully that hides behind a facade- too quite. But that's not you. You're lonely. You're Meg; but that's just the nickname they gave you. You hate it. You don't understand it. But you're perfect.
Kira, I know you won't be able to forgive or forget for years to come. He haunts you. You were tricked
Dear Depression,I remember when we first met, I was 8 years old, young, and still a child. You were in the punches on my chest, filled with fury and anger. Your pleads of forgiveness was accepted by the girl back then, but everyday I wish I said no. Because I don't deserve this pain I feel, I don't deserve the pressure you put on my shoulders, I don't deserve any of this. Today I tell you to leave me alone, let me live a happy life, let me forgot the pain I endured because everyone in this world has a chance, so why won't you let me have a chance?Dear Depression,9 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
I live my life waking up in the morning, wanting to go outside for once, but your ropes pull me hard and the knife I try to cut it with only cuts me.
Fun Fact #11You only use 10% of your brain at a time. Certain parts of your brain are designed to handle certain tasks. The only time 100% of your brains are active is when you're having a stroke/seizure.Fun Fact #1110 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
Relationship Goals #4I just want a guy who will sit on the couch and do nothing with me.Relationship Goals #411 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
IronyMy people practically invented math, yet I suck at it.Irony13 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
Our Love is a Stain that Ruined MeI don't feel like you want me the way you want other or speak to other people.Our Love is a Stain that Ruined Me13 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
I don't believe you love me like you have shown love to other people, how i desire for you to love me.
I don't feel like you want to show me affection, as you have shown affection to other people.
I don't feel like i make you happy, the way i watch you smile for others.
I don't feel like you love me the way that i need to be loved, why am i so pathetic.
I don't feel like you want to be with me, the your terms of what a friendship is towards anyone else but me.
How do i know your relationship with her hasn't changed.
How do i know you guys don't speak to each other the same.
How do i know you won't go around and do it all over again with someone else.
How long can i continue, until i can no longer recognize my own reflection, or until i'm completely broken
How long until i love you no more.
You can't promise she stopped being a whore, or that you stopped being a whore.
You can't promise you are no longer easi
A Work of FictionI’m disappointed. I’m disappointed in you, in her and in myself. People are easy to hurt. You think you’re the only one who’s in pain? You’re so wrong it’s not even funny anymore. No, people are easy to hurt, and pain is always just beneath the surface, waiting to bubble up and seep through your skin and pour off you in waves because you can’t hold it in anymore. And then your pain isn’t just yours anymore; it’s mine, and hers, and it belongs, too, to anybody else who’s ever given a damn about you. But it’s not good enough, is it? People are so easy to hurt, and you don’t even see it. You lash out blindly, madly, pushing your pain and anger onto me as though I hadn’t been waiting to take it all in just a moment before. Or, worse, you go cold, and gone are the words, the smiles and the subtext, and gone is the understanding that we’re on the same side. And then we both hurt, separately, and your pain isA Work of Fiction19 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
They Need YOUNobody understands the value of your OC like you. Your characters will not be anything without you, so asa result, if you feel down and out, where does that leave them? That leaves them off of your mind. If they are off of your mind, then for that brief moment they don't exist.They Need YOU19 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
I know that it's tough. I know that your mind loves to screw around with you, and it chooses to do so in the worst of times. It is apparent that those around you don't always see what it is that you are doing, but I assure you that that is just noise.
Your creativity often thrives on your emotion. It's why I write. Your OC is no different. Feed yourself thought and inspiration. I don't mind if you have to talk to yourself. You will make leaps and bounds in creating your OC, thus the story that surrounds them, and eventually a product.
They need you. Go to them.
A quick quoteAnger is the animal of our soulsA quick quote20 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
It bites, growls and fights till it consumes you whole
unless we fight back and strike it down with happiness
ProblemsEver since her sister stayed behind to hang out with dad, they've been really close. Closer than he and her have ever really been. And she loves him, She want to impress him and make him proud.Problems20 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
And she hates, hates, hates......!
She hate that the sister is so close to him. He keeps pictures of her mainly, hangs most of her pictures in the hallway, talks to her and shows her movies and music, and even lets her cook.
Someone that doesn't even have his blood in their veins.
Sister won't even let her near him.
She wants to kill her. But she can't.
She's not like that, she could never kill someone.
Her friends all left her, her parents hate her, her sister hates her, everyone leaves her!
She just wants one person, one person who truly cares, to hold her close and tell her that everything's alright.
But no one could love her. She's just a pessimist who doesn't trust anyone and who is hateful and despising and cruel. And does nothing but lie.
She doesn't deserve anyone.
She doesn't deserve an
Loosening Grip# Loosening Grip #Loosening Grip20 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
I used to call myself a writer. I'm not sure I can really do that anymore. I'm not sure if the word applies. I'm not sure if I ever really was.
I used to write every day. I made it a point to. I had to. It was just in my blood, like fire. After an incident, I did not feel the fire anymore. I want to... badly. I crave it like a junkie. I want to feel like myself again. I don't.
After awhile it lessened to four days a week. Then three. Then only on the weekends. Now... I'm lucky if I do it once a week. I fear the day I just... never pick it up again. I hope that day never comes. I dread it like one dreads there own demise. It is a demise of sorts I suppose, isn't it?
I tell people it is because I am too busy or I am too tired. I'm a lier that way sometimes. Really... I just don't feel like it. I try to force it and it's worse. I try to rediscover my creative spirit by reading my previous work. Instead I just smile wistfully and find something else to do because..
My Dearest Love. How I Became Strong My dearest love,My Dearest Love. How I Became Strong1 day ago in Emotional More Like This
I want to apologize for what happened last night. I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to you when you have just come back. You were telling me all the things you did in your trip, but I wasn’t listening to your adventures because I was thinking about something really important to me. You didn’t understand and we got mad at each other, but that’s why I’m writing this, love. I want to let you know what was so important that I had to ignore you for almost two hours.
You see, after all that I’ve been through, all that I’ve done to myself (or tried to do) and all I’ve seen and listened from my friends, I consider myself wiser. I even let myself turn around and look at my younger me. Not too much, though, just two or three years younger. I knew that people committed suicide, but I didn’t understand why. I knew that some people, instead, harmed themselv
DeathWhat is death? Is it a black void of never-ending re-runs of your happiest or worst memories mean to to torture you with a yearning to live again? Do you truly have seven minutes of brain activity when one dies, unable to move, speak, hear, feel. In a comatose state as your life slowly drifts away through darkening vision. If one has those seven minutes do you see your life up until your last minute or do you see the future you would have had? Once dead are you immediately reborn? Is death nothing but an abyss where all you can see are rickety film-wheel memories with distorted visuals as you try to find the exit? How does death determine whether you become a ghost doomed to wander the world between death and life, in a grey dull world seeing the living but not seen by them nor hearing anything that goes on around you. Or perhaps death is what you imagine it is, some good, some bad... some filled with nightmares and some with happy thoughts. Or perhaps it's nothing... imaginablyDeath1 day ago in Emotional More Like This
| please read this rant! |Sapiosexuality is ableist?| please read this rant! |1 day ago in Emotional More Like This
For those who aren't educated with these terms, allow me to explain it to you. Sapiosexuality is the attraction ( whether romantic, emotional, or sexual ) to a person's intelligence, or the human mind. I consider myself to be partially sapiosexual. Ableism is the discrimination against those who are mentally or physically impaired in some way. Technically, if somebody possessed a hatred for me simply because I have numerous mental disorders and medical issues ( which I do ), they would be ableist. Now, some people have a false dichotomy surrounding the fundamental concept of sapiosexuality and ableism. They claim that somebody being sapiosexual is discriminating against those with mental and physical handicaps. This - I cannot understand. If you claim that sapiosexuality is ableist because sapiosexuals are attracted to intelligence - then you are stating that those with mental and/or physical impairments are not capable of the intelligence
Beast InsideI am the Beast, wild, rabid and locked in this jail of flesh.Beast Inside2 days ago in Emotional More Like This
Through his sensibility, I feed on his fears, on his angers, on his frustrations and on his pains.
I am the chain that prevent him from being free. I am his own little personnal and secret hell.
He is my jail and the whip that hold me.
'Cause everytime I go out, The world burns.......
Je suis la Bête, sauvage, enragée et enfermée dans cette prison de chair.
A travers sa sensibilité, je me nourri de ses peurs, de ses colères, de ses frustrations et de ses peines.
Je suis la chaîne qui l'empêche d'être libre. Je suis son petit enfer personnel et secret.
Il est ma prison et le fouet qui me retient.
Car à chaque fois que je sors, le monde brûle.......
unanswered questionsDo you think of me?unanswered questions2 days ago in Emotional More Like This
I think of you all day every single day.
Whenever a character loses the one they love in a movie
do you think of me?
I think of you.
When its raining outside
do you think about snuggling with me?
When you see a shooting star
do you make a wish about me?
I wish for you and all of you.
When you're lonely
do you miss me?
I miss you all the time.
Do you pray for me?
I pray for you every day.
And you know I'm not much into praying.
When I fainted the other night
Were you scared?
I was scared.
When I found everything out
And my heart was broken,
When I told you I'd leave if you didn't change
Did you cry?
I cried to where I couldn't anymore.
When you first met me
Did you think that we would have made it this far?
Has everything been a lie?
Will it ever get better?
Will you ever love me again?
Do I still give you butterflies?
You still give them to me.
Are you afraid of losing me?
Would you do anything for me?
I'd go to the ends of the Earth f
Easy Come, Easy GoLast night...Easy Come, Easy Go2 days ago in Emotional More Like This
I dreamed that I was beautiful.
Enough to actually deserve you.
And for the first time, enough to believe that the person staring back from the mirror was, indeed.
Of course, it was then that I had decided to awaken.
Life As a JumpropeLife will get hard, but there is a message somebody needs. I have never been able to find it, but I have this.Life As a Jumprope2 days ago in Emotional More Like This
Life is a bit like a jumprope. You go up and down a lot. Keep going though, because that rope will trip you if you don't try. If it does, you can continue jumping!
Thanks for the inspiration Unbeatablemeghan13
Being FriendsIt's not about comparison. It's not about a standard. You are both alive, so why should a standard determine your friendship? It is yet another illusion. Let me say this. Illusions are everywhere. They fool the eyes, and produce an unrealistic outcome.Being Friends2 days ago in Emotional More Like This
Don't let better mean anything other than something of opportunity, and not of mankind. Where somebody may have more skill, more words or more wisdom, they are still no better than you. They still breath, blink, think and live.
Let me put it this way. Are you alive? Are you happy? If not, why? Are you trying to be a standard? Fuck that standard. Be you. That's all you need. Why be something SOMEONE ELSE wants you to be? That is stupid. It's pointless.
Why would you do that to you? Be better than that. Be you, and let them be them. You are equal after all, right?