high school entry two12:15 amhigh school entry two4 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
i'm here thinking. again. sometimes i think it's unhealthy for me to think. i come up with the stupidest things that i wish i never did come up with in the first place. like these last sentences. i pondered upon the words i so commonly think of from Owl City's "Vanilla Twilight". They are as follows: "When violet eyes get brighter/and heavy wings grow lighter/ i'll touch the sky and feel alive again/but i'll forget the world that i knew/ but i swear i won't forget you/ oh if my voice could reach back through the past/ i'd whisper in your ear/ oh darling, i wish you were here".
those words sort of ache. it's almost painful to think about. i don't want to have to wish for something that will never be.
then you have the artistic me. the one who likes to draw obscure images on her spanish homework while the teacher is directly speaking to her. and he doesn't have any more crap to give about it because he's sick and his class is full of insane would-be drop outs and freshmen
Gedanken/FebruarAtemlos stehe ich am Straßenrand, den Blick vom Menschen abgewandt. Nebelschwaden hängen in der Luft, welche zerspringt vor Eiseskälte.Gedanken/Februar5 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
Mein Atem gefriert binnen Sekunden, anders als mein Herz, das noch immer glüht, tief im Inneren.
Mit stillen Augen blicke ich zum Horizont, frage mich, wo du bist in dieser Welt, die wir teilen, die sogar unsere war, in alten Zeiten.
Die Tragödie hält mittlerweile seit 7 Monaten an. Seitdem verging kein Tag, andem ich nicht an dich dachte.
Kein Tag verging, an dem ich dich nicht vermisste.
Jede einzelne Sekunde leben diese Erinnerungen in mir weiter.
MagneticPeople are magnetic. We cannot stay away. One touch electrifies us. One thought captivates us for hours. We are a slave to the dream of their ecstasy. It is frightening to think how deeply we are swayed by others. How strongly they can be ingrained within us.Magnetic7 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
At times we feel we could be immortal. Not for long, but while it lasts we remain infinite. Indefinite. Dwelling within that moment. They could be poison. They could be eternity. We could waste forever on this question. On these moments. We could drown in our thoughts of them.
Can they be escaped? Can this ever-present magnetism be overcome? Or are we forever doomed to dwell in their orbit? Are we lost within them? It is worse when you know it is poison, and yet you cannot pull yourself away.
Such fragile, easily swayed creatures humans are.
Musings on Light and ShadowThere was a Cold within him. Sometimes it was a blizzard, his feelings rimed with hoar. Sometimes, he liked it that way. It was safe. Nothing could penetrate.Musings on Light and Shadow7 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
He was Light and Hope, yet he shut others out. Kept them at bay with the frost. To keep him safe. To keep others safe. From the Dark he buries within.
He’d done it before. He could do it again. For so long.
That Shadow calls to him. The counter and complement to the Light. It had always been there. Always a part of him, but always lying in wait. When he found it, he reveled in it. What if he could tame it? Bring it to heel? Can you command a power so old? What would happen if he did?
Night TrekMarring a fresh canvas of white. Beautiful. Others have been here before. But not tonight. Tonight it’s just you, fresh powder, and the shadows dancing through the sodium vapour glow.Night Trek7 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
The shimmering coat winking back mirrors the stars hiding behind the overcast.
Exhale. Traces of your life flutter away like smoke. Each a memory. Each a moment. Dissipating into the cold.
It bites, but where there should be fire there is only nothing in this skin.
Just me. Wandering with my shadow.
The full moon watches, veiled. Tonight it’s just he and I. He knows me in this darkness. The night and I are kin.
Follow the footprints. One day you’ll find us.
What will we be?
My RegretSometimes I regret falling in love with him...my old crush...my EX crush...it only ever lead me down a darkdark path of despair and pain. I missed out years of time I could have spent with my family...only to have him show me that maybe they weren't people worth my time or tears anyway. He showed me things...taught me things...I really didn't want to hear...or know.My Regret7 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
In the end he told me he worsethan hated me...he "UNLOVED me"
and I regret falling for that one too and walking out the door into another's awaiting arms.
Now how much more must I live to regret...hopefully not this all too familiar situation I find myself in now.
Alone with someone I love and trust...anything could happen.....
Sodium. Blizzard. Shadow.Sometimes I feel there’s nowhere I belong. The closest is lost on endless city streets. Standing under street lights watching snow eddy in the wind. The wind bites my skin. It’s treacherous. But it’s all so beautiful. The crunch of the snow under foot. The shadows alive with secrets whispered. That living sound. That not-quite-silence.Sodium. Blizzard. Shadow.7 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
My life makes the most sense in sodium orange. In blizzard white. In shadow black. I feel so muted indoors. Washed away under incandescent light. The hollow routine hiding behind the walls. I cannot breathe here. So I trek onward. Open air calls to me. The night beckons me outward. Stories of shadow and magic await. These streets are bleeding with tales if you only listen. This is where I feel alive.
LostWords failed her. What she wanted more than anything was to be heard. Understood. To make some semblance of sense out of everything she was feeling. Alone. Lost. Bitter. Hopeless. Everything she tried to block out. For the most part, she succeeded. She could push back the dark, for a while. But it always came back with a vengeance. Would it finally drive her over the edge, or would she live to fight another day?Lost7 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
Gone Too Soon She grew up in a house, but it was not a home. Her family tree was cut down long ago by the prisoners of a personal war with the same bottles they sought refuge in.Gone Too Soon8 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
Her mother was a veteran, swallowing her life with every swig. As for her fathers, they were never around long enough for her to know. Growing up, she was just another empty bottle; her mother didn’t have any use for her. She wanted to feel loved; to have that warmth in her heart that could give her life. But her mother’s addiction was flammable. Her fathers were liars; she felt the warmth before having her innocence burned, and she failed to see the devils inside of them, the hellfire within their eyes. She was too young to understand their sins.
She just wanted love.
She soon accepted that love was supposed to hurt. She accepted the pain from when her mother would relapse after every empty bottle, from the marks she left behind. She accepted
In Slow sight...I dream of things....In Slow sight...12 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
so many things! i can't understand them all...i can't, not right now.
Not ever It seems, But it'll all stop someday. We're all hoping for the end, it'll come and you then hope it hadn't.
So many things running through my skull at once! I need them to stop, to slow down....to just, postpone.
Well, it'll get better one day, In the slow sight of things, The fast side of life is not always merciless.
Be patient friends.
Words Of LightDear Reader: Whoever you are... This is for you.Words Of Light12 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
[Visualize what you want. Have in mind all possibilities and consequences. Be optimistic & confident. You CAN if you want. We're stopped only by the limits we put ourselves.]
[You create your happiness. Nothing is really impossible if you really want it and see it as another challenge you CAN win.]
[Don't put others under you. Don't judge. Care for others and always give even if you're not given back. There's always more happiness in giving than in receiving. Live the best way possible; and not in riches but in humbleness.]
And remember, we're all humans. We will always make new mistakes. What's important is the fact that no matter how many times we fall.... We can ALWAYS stand up.
Those are my words of light to you. You decide if y
If Tomorrow Never Comes, I Want You to Know...If Tomorrow Never Comes, I Want You to Know...12 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
I often get asked about why I own so many different journals and notebooks. I have a few little journals that have one or two entries, and then were pushed aside to collect dust. I have a few diary's from when a was in my "I hate everything" stage and when I was in high school that are filled completely. I have stacks of visual journals and art books that I work on every other day. I have brand new journals that are patiently waiting to be written in. I have a whole shelf dedicated to all these books filled with my thoughts and dreams, as well as the unwritten ones.
I have I never thought much on why I feel like I need so many, and always assumed it was because I find joy in writing. Then, I started to think about it a bit more, and came to a startling conclusion:
To be more specific, I'm afraid of being forgotten.
At this point in my life, I'm still trying to figure out who I am. I graduated a few months back, and will be turning 19 in less than a month. I'm single a
Enemies of the friendlessNo church can save you. No building can lift your spirits. No assembly is your friend. When tragedy strikes we come to the knowledge that we are truly alone in the world.Enemies of the friendless13 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
What wisdom can be found in the tales of an individual’s pursuit of friendship beyond the walls of his home? He goes to the church, and it is full of insincere people. They come and go; none will stay to hear him. They merely perpetuate what pain isolates him in his life.
Is he to be made an object of pity as he generalizes his weakness by divulging to a congregation of strangers. These are not his brothers or sisters, nor friends or neighbors. He does not know them, and they do not wish to know him. They are satisfied with weekly routine, “Good morning”, “How do you do?” Are they really concerned for his well-being when it is much easier to just pass him by with a rhetoric phrase to get on with the rest of their day? Go on and eat, and spend glorious moments with your family and friends.
wishi dont feel at ease with who i am when all i want to be is someone elsewish13 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
Processing...Days go by, everything is quiet.Processing...15 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
The chair in which you sat one year ago, so tired from cooking christmas dinner that you could hardly sit up straight.
You had been busy prepairing that for days. When we tried to help you, you said we should stay home. Enjoy christmas.
Your whole life has been hell.
I see that now.
Why did i not see that before.
Your life was filled with pain, sadness, and dreadfull things.
And yet you kept believing in god. With all your heart. You prayed for us to be happy, before you went to sleep.
With the very little money you had, you bought us presents.
I accepted them..
Not thinking about how much trouble it put you trough.
I am so sorry...
I cant handle the things i did.
As you got sicker, i hardly visited you anymore.
When i was younger, i had been with you, every day, with mom.
We would go and eat fries, in belgium.
We would joke and laugh in the car.
But you couldnt do that anymore.
You coughed all day long. Sometimes you kept cough
Bezsennosc dniaOpowiem wam bajkę. Za górami za lasami żyła sobie dziewczynka… Miała niezwykle oczy i piękny uśmiech. Kochała wszystko co żyje, zwierzęta , ludzi , do nieznajomych uśmiechała się jak najpiękniej potrafiła bo jej uśmiech rozjaśniał cienie i to było jej przekleństwem.Bezsennosc dnia16 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
Czemu? Zapytacie się.
Bo świat nie lubi światła, Świat kocha ciemność. Los przyjaciel Świata obiecał pomóc mu przy tej dziewczynce a Pech wspierał go w tym.
I tak Los zesłał pierwszą bestie na świat małej dziewczynki, imię jego Alkohol. Bestia zmieniła ojca dziewczynki. Zasłaniając mu oczy i zalewając serce. Stał się marionetką lalkarza nienawidzącego wszystko co piękne.
Na pomoc przyszła Miłość , uratowała małą dziewczynkę i jej rodzi
I do not complain, although I am not to blameYour lettersI do not complain, although I am not to blame17 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
they all said once
that you were beside me.
Why do I feel alone?
on a ledge
and just your fine spider web
is fastening my
ankle on a stone.
Hannibal's Family (Hannibal x Face)Hannibal Smith liked to think of his team as a family, which was true in a ways when you really thought about it. He was the father of the group, B.A the older brother who was tough most times, but was more worried and protective than he liked to show. Murdock and Face were the two younger brothers who liked to cause mischief and were always there for one another in their time of need. The team had their ups and downs, but Hannibal knew that in the end they would pull together and continue to stay the strong family they had become. At least, he did when things were great for the most part. Being veterans of a terrible and ugly war that did nothing but cause pain and misfortune took its toll on even the best of them, and there were the times that one of them would break down from their façade. While Hannibal knew everyone could take care of themselves, he was most worried about the times Face had his breakdowns. He had regarded Face as the son he never had since the day he met himHannibal's Family (Hannibal x Face)18 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
I Remember: Freewriting of the SubconsciousI remember things I shouldn't remember. The fluttering of my eyelids as a blank stare comes across my face. The world is tuned out. My teacher's voice falls deaf on my ears. Words try to come out, but my mouth is unwilling to formulate a response. I have no control over my limbs like I'm merely a puppet, and the puppeteer jerks my strings suddenly without any warning. I spend the endless hours of the night with my two siblings and best friends, fighting off tiredness until dawn comes over the horizon. I am brought into a dark room, wires are attached to my head. The last words are "now, go to sleep" before I happily oblige. I wake up later to a fit of jerking limbs and minute-long phases of my mind being completely absent to the world, waiting to hear the final results. The words are spoken, and just like that everything changes. This is going to be my new life.I Remember: Freewriting of the Subconscious21 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
Albino hedgehogHere you are, again. You stay still on the back of your little room, without moving, holding your breath. The first time you did it I remember it was because you were scared, you were scared of everything, but I was there, by your side, waiting patiently until you stop hiding yourself and feel that you shouldn’t fear, that you shouldn’t fear anymore.Albino hedgehog21 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
Later, it all changed. You opened yourself to the world and didn’t give anything but love, it couldn’t be any other way. I remember your hugs, your soft look…
And I miss them. I miss you. I miss you because I wasn’t able to protect you, to take care or you, to treat you like you deserved. And now, now you are here, again, and you stay still, pale, motionless, right before my eyes. Now, the remains of straw float on the dinning room, and the lavender flowers impregnate with scent your crystal grave.
You’re still there, sleeping placidly on your straw bed, but you’ll return to your authe
I...The numerous drops of pain leaking from my heart.I...22 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
I've grown used to them.
I no longer need to understand why.
I just accept it.
Countless people have hurt me.
Countless people have left so many fine lines.
Etched deep onto the thin surface.
But the one who has hurt me the most.
Is myself for believing I should hold onto them.
It's stupid to think I was strong enough to.
The wounds continue to open.
It takes a while to sew them together.
But I try, I really do.
Sometimes I'm lucky.
They stay sealed for a long time.
I do not feel the throbbing ache I usually do.
I smile and I accept judgement.
I accept the emotions.
I accept that that is who I am.
I am an emotional being.
I am human.
Plus. Life takes you through both ups and downs.
Without pain you can not feel happiness.
And that is how it will always be.
Then there are the times where the seams wear down.
Break apart and snap one by one.
I've come to terms that it is because of me.
Every little mistake and every thought that shakes my
DreamThere are a number of stories out there in our community about situations involving people or creatures of vastly different sizes, words that describe the experiences of those involved. How they feel, what they see around them, it’s all very specific. The pictures that people post of these scenarios give a better image for these kinds of settings, displaying the extreme size differences and giving chills to some of those who view them.Dream1 day ago in Emotional More Like This
There are no words that can describe or images that can show what it really feels like to experience such feelings for yourself.
There is no way to describe the feeling I felt when I fell asleep that fateful night; to awaken in my dreams to something I will never forget.
My surrounding were simple for the most part. I could pick out what looked to be an arena-type enclosure around me, and once I looked around more, I understood why.
In the distance, leaned up against the walls, was a giant.
I don’t remember the facial details, all that I coul
DespiertaDormida a los pies de la cama, dejaba pasar las horas escuchando la música de su grupo favorito, reproducida en bucle una y otra vez.Despierta1 day ago in Emotional More Like This
La mañana llegaba y el frío entraba por su ventana. Fue entonces cuando se despertó, tumbándose correctamente y tapándose con las sábanas, sin quitarse los cascos.
Ella sentía que la música la rescataba, era una forma de huir de una desagradable realidad que no tenía fuerzas para combatir.
Solo deseaba que llegase un nuevo amanecer de sol apagado y nubes aglomeradas, haciendo figuras que su imaginación distorsionaba.
Sabía que al sonar el despertador, volvería a una realidad que pretendía olvidar y que, por mucho que lo intentase, el sol no brillaría para ella como lo hacía para los demás.
Se mantenía callada, con la cabeza gacha como siempre le habían dicho. No contestaba a las provocaciones, ni tan siquiera a las falsas acusaciones o las reiteradas agresiones
BoyHe sat there...in the rain staring blankly at his feet, just thinking... Why do I exist ... I don't belong hear ... The rain hit the floor making the ground dull and wet ... Giving off that damp smell, the grass collected droplets on the end of there blades...causing them to droop over. As it hit the boy causing his blue jacket to turn a deeper shade of blue, he didn't move...just sat there...staring at his feet an the now wet grass below him, water soaked his light brown hair...weighing it down...and turning it a very dark brown.Boy1 day ago in Emotional More Like This
He was at his local park...skipping school, again, but what was the point in going...he had no friends...non at all...it nothing to look forward to...so he just sat there, with a blank lifeless expression, he was giving up, the bullying his family...his life, where all just to much to handle now, so he just sat and stared. The rain started to die down and cracks of sunlight appeared...he looked up and painfully sighed as he ran his fingers back t