AnxietyAnxiety 5 days ago in Emotional More Like This
It's like a sickness that wants to be noticed
It hides between the delicate flower of nerves in the back of your neck, crushing it like a weed that destroys the garden in your brain
It knaws and sucks like a leech
It makes your fingers curl like thorns and puncture your own palms, destroying you from outside towards the center.
Suddenly little things make you apprehensive
You tug at your hair and you cry so much over something so insignificant, you throw up and refuse to eat.
The worry is like a pebble in your shoes that manifests into needles that may not deliver fatal blows, but the pinpricks are numerous enough to feel like daggers
Each nerve is an alarm
They all scream incoherently at the tiniest warning
You cradle yourself like a baby and the panic insists like a headache that refuses to leave
"Something's not right. Something will go wrong. It's all your fault. What if this happens? What if that happens?"
Sappho Merely ShruggedI was sixteen when I saw the garden for the first time. The flowers weren't exotic; the same kinds grew in the park across the street. There was just something about how the sunlight hit their petals that made me stop on the sidewalk. I spent a moment admiring a flower with curling leaves like the pages of old books, and I wondered how I'd never noticed the garden before.Sappho Merely Shrugged5 days ago in Emotional More Like This
A woman knelt between the rows of plants. She had dark hair that tumbled over one shoulder and sweat on the back of her neck. "What's your name?" I asked.
"Sappho," she said.
"I like your garden." I leaned against the fence as I watched her work. "The flowers in the park don't look so good this year. Did you do something different?"
Sappho merely shrugged.
I was too afraid to open the gate and go inside. Instead I went back to the park the next day. The flowers there were dim and faded, but at least I knew my way around.
I was eighteen when I almost touched one of Sappho's flowers for the first time. The night was c
How I see girls in terms of beauty (Not Douchey)How I see girls in terms of beauty (Not Douchey)11 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
Before I say anything, I want to say that this will be in no means a discrimination against women, Races or nationalities, I will merely be putting up my opinions of each little things. I'm not to worried about saying something offensive, since quite honestly I think all different types of things are beautiful, and this is meant to be a confidence BOOST for all you lovely ladies out there.
I Really just want to take the time and ask you girls to sit down and listen to what I have to say, I'm not trying to win anyones affection by writing this. I just want to let you guys know how truly beautiful you are, and I'm not saying this as a lie.
You poor girls come into this world, and from the moment you take your very first steps...people are already expecting things of you. You're constantly being judged by everyone, being picked apart for every little flaw or mistake you have. But flaws are what makes you perfect, at least to me.
You're thrown into this
.:Declaration de Guerre:..:Declaration de Guerre:.3 days ago in Emotional More Like This
I just close my eyes
to think to her
my little flower
I honestly wonder
where she is
and if she's fine there
I want to cry
because she doesn't reply
and I don't know why
that pretty flower comes to me
and starts comforting me
In a way
thanks to that pretty flower
I will just forget a bit my little one
and will think to something else
We can talk about anything
I show her my drawings
and she watches me drawing
In a way
thanks to that pretty flower
I can just forget a bit my little one
and think to something else
I think I like her
and she likes me as well
so we like each other
and we're happy
I really think I like her
But there is also that one
She likes her as well
I think I don't like Her.
we can't talk about anything
just the things which fit Her
I think I dislike Her.
when I cry
because she didn't reply
The pretty flower doesn't come
She lets me alone
Past!Fanfic-QueenxCurrent!Fanfic-Queen- Be Strong“Mom’s gone…” Your dad said, tears rolling down his face. Your heart stopped, and you climbed out of his lap.Past!Fanfic-QueenxCurrent!Fanfic-Queen- Be Strong4 days ago in Emotional More Like This
“Momma?” You asked, running into their bedroom.
There she was, laying in bed. Her mouth was wide open, and her eyes were shut. She died in her sleep, but that didn’t help the pain.
Putting a hand over your mouth, tears began flowing down your cheeks and you reached out and grabbed her hand. It was ice cold.
“Momma…” You sobbed. “Please don’t leave me Momma…” Thoughts raced through your head. You should have went and said good morning to her, you should have said you loved her last night.
Suddenly, a figure pulls you away from her body, hugging you against their chest. You look up to see a girl that looks a lot like you. But her hair is dyed black, and she’s a little taller than you. And skinnier.
“Who are you?!” You scream, breaking away from her. She looks at you with mournful
SechsundzwanzigsiebenManchmal ist da dieser Blick, der bewegungsunfähig macht. Er greift über und es ist unmöglich, sich abzuwenden.Sechsundzwanzigsieben2 days ago in Emotional More Like This
Hast du darüber eigentlich einmal nachgedacht
meinen Blick wie zwei Hände um dein Gesicht legt,
es an das eigene zieht
und Sekunde für Sekunde durch diese warmen Bewegungen verschmelzend und saugend
immer mehr ein Teil von dir wird?
Glaub mir, in mir passiert es öfters als du dir vorzustellen vermagst
und ich verspreche dir, das wird nicht angenehm sein.
Du denkst, dass du mich von dir halten musst?
Sieh dich vor,
es gibt viele, die soweit denken -
und jeder ist für seinen Teil Schuld für jeden meiner kleinen und großen Niedergänge,
die ich mit jedem Atemzug Revue in deinen Augen ausdrücke, als seien sie Fackeln.
So kann ich es endlich für mich abschließen
und weiß, dass wir uns nun auf einer ganz anderen Ebene begegnen.
LeGrandzilla Musings #7 Reindeer GamesReindeer GamesLeGrandzilla Musings #7 Reindeer Games2 days ago in Emotional More Like This
The song Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer is a sad commentary on how reindeer treat one another.
Sad that one is ostracized for being different, and rejected for standing out from the rest... Until, that difference is recognized as a benefit to society.
Until then... No reindeer games for Rudy.
As artists, it seems many of us are what some would call different. My last musing detailed some of what that has felt like for me. I am sure many of you have experienced something like that, which probably is more significant to the degree that you are immersed into your art.
Sometimes society does celebrate art, and diversity.
Sometimes it is shunned.
And granted, the right to say a particular piece of art is appealing or not, is in itself a celebration of diversity and should be accepted.
But never should the person be shunned or rejected.
I think, we can do better than reindeer.
Hear Me Out *TW*Sooo...hear me out. I'm going to tell you my story, start to finish, because it explains where I am now. I guess I won't say everything...let's stop at high school, yes? Good. Let's get started. I was born on March 8th. Nevermind the year. I was born as a female, and was healthy. I went back a month later with jaundice. Skip a year, I hadn't really talking much yet-but walking I was. When I was 3, I got diagnosed with autism and the doctor said "You'll be lucky if she can even keep up with classes". That's when the verbal abuse started. From my brother, from my mom. Said I wasn't smart, never will be, never can. My dad was more neglectful-still is. Kindergarten rolls around, and I started getting picked on. For my hand flapping. For my humming. For my rocking. I got taught that my stimming wasn't right, and had to be fixed. 1st grade, the threats were worse. 2nd grade, physical abuse from my brother started, got notes everyday saying "kill yourself" "Retard" "You don't deserve to live"Hear Me Out *TW*2 days ago in Emotional More Like This
frases: 1#"Eres un desastre enredado con tu confianza. Crees que no has pecado. Bueno tu eres imparable, Tus paredes son "intransitables" oh! Creo que estás mejor buscando sola, Los chicos que persiguen tus "caderas" sólo pueden ir a encontrar su camino a casa. Y al final del día piensas para ti mismo. "Mi cuerpo es un producto que se vende en el estante "Dime que puedo cambiar,Dime que puedo cambiar.Bueno, yo sé que estas tirado en la cama Contemplando tu propia muerte.Bueno, basta con ver lo que has hecho No te atrevas a olvidar el sol, amor!" - Get scared Don't you dare forget the sunfrases: 1#3 days ago in Emotional More Like This
Favs and commentsWill they like me?Favs and comments3 days ago in Emotional More Like This
Do they like me?
Will they like this?
Do they like it?
Every minute that
Goes by I feel
A little unsure.
But then I see it.
One, two, and a third
Fav the a
I feel a little
Less unsure about
They like me?
They actually do.
They want more?
I want to give more.
They are real.
Want me for me.
So please comment.
So please fav.
It means the world
To the writer.
A MessageDoes not looking into the mirror and seeing who you are just make you feel great? Millions of years and there hasn't ever been a person just like you until now. You are unique. You are irreplaceable.A Message5 days ago in Emotional More Like This
We're all so intelligent and capable of doing so many things. We can do almost everything. There's almost no barrier to what we can achieve throughout our lives.
You only have one life. You can only be the person you are once. So don't waste your life, instead, try to make every moment worth living. It all depends on you and the way you see things.
"I'm a failure" "I'm worthless" "I'm ugly" "I can't do anything"
No. Shrug off all those thoughts. Wear a little smile, keep your head up and be faithful. Don't keep hitting the same key everyday. It will lead you nowhere. You aren't a failure, you aren't worthless, you're a wonderful and intelligent human being, a masterpiece of na
RantI'm fucking pissed.Rant1 day ago in Emotional More Like This
I'm pissed because there's amazing people who are suicidal.
I'm pissed because they're only loved after death.
I'm pissed because some people have no one to remember them.
I'm pissed because depression is real.
I'm pissed because mental illness is not looked at as a real thing.
I'm pissed because self harm and suicide are glorified.
I'm pissed because children worry about their weight.
I'm pissed because social media is empty.
I'm pissed because not everyone can get the same education.
I'm pissed because sickness is a debt sentence.
I'm pissed because college is, too.
I'm pissed because some artists and musicians and authors will go undiscovered.
I'm pissed because people ignore their friends.
I'm pissed because there are victims out there.
I'm pissed because there are monsters actually here.
I'm pissed because this generation was fucked up.
And I'm pissed because the people who raised us, blame us.
Tu partida¿Cuánto tiempo ha sido desde el día en que partiste? ¿Las semanas y los días ya se volvieron años? ¿Tan pronto pasa el tiempo?Tu partida3 days ago in Emotional More Like This
Es increíble como en un abrir y cerrar de ojos; las cosas pasan tan rápido y aquellos momentos especiales se convierten solamente en recuerdos.
He olvidado por completo cuando fue la última vez que nos vimos, cuándo estuvimos juntas y desde qué año precisamente te comencé a escribir cartas… Cartas que jamás te llegaran, a menos de que exista un milagro y te lleguen allá en el lugar en que te encuentras en donde aún no podré alcanzarte.
Haciendo un pequeño recuento de los momentos y los instantes en los que pasamos juntas puedo decir que fueron hermosos. No éramos las mejores amigas, eso más que claro me queda. Tú eras muy gruñona. Te enojabas de todo, te molestaba a veces mi compañía y mi forma tan encimosa de ser contigo, eras auto
Encouraging VideosI made a sort-of 'encouragement' video... But in case that's not in favor, I decided just to bump along with my camera in the passenger seat on the way back to the neighborhood, and summarize what the video said anyway.Encouraging Videos2 days ago in Emotional More Like This
So why not?
Here is the link to the YouTube video on my new YT account "Nordic Fox"
Updated to the newest, BEST version of the video, with most of the message I wanted to spread.
My Girlfriend (Short)Lovely brown hair, chocolate brown eyes, cream colored skin and a very charming accent. This is how I describe my girlfriend. And only God knows how much I love her. I long to do nothing more than to hold her close into my arms, kissing her and telling her daily how much I adore her. My only desire is to have her at my side, telling her how much she means to me.My Girlfriend (Short)2 days ago in Emotional More Like This
I talk to her daily, until one of us must depart. And the same pattern repeats the next day we see each other. One day after another. A beautifully blissful cycle through my eyes. I do what I can to see her beautiful smile. My happiness lies in hers after all. She understands how I feel. The problems that I have. And this makes me happy. It never falters.
I long to hear her voice every day. Just hearing her happy tone makes me smile. In the beginning, I was fearful of how things between us would go, but as the days grew on, and the weeks passed, my adoration for her only grew stronger.
She is not human. Not through my eyes. She
UntitledYou looked at me and I thought I saw love but when i turned to show you that same love, you disappeared, not a trace of you left to prove you had been standing there at all. I looked for you, I searched for hours, days, what could’ve been months, but still nothing. Deep inside I felt a strange feeling, a strong feeling and it felt as if there was a deep cut, almost like a breaking in my chest had started to form and as if my pain wasn’t enough, soon after it felt as if it was being torn into a large gaping hole ripped clean through me. Soon the hole became a deep pain not only inside my chest but spread throughout every corner and every inch of my body. Of course I tried to ignore it, I did everything to try and forget but it never faded, so I bled my pain into art, I let my pictures show my pain. No one really understood what it was I was trying to show and soon my art wasn’t even enough. So I let my broken heart decide and night after empty night, my hollow chest feUntitled2 days ago in Emotional More Like This
InterruptionI've been in here ever sinceInterruption3 days ago in Emotional More Like This
The bell rung and I released
So do not rap upon my chamber door
I'm writing, so don't disturb
Please don't rap upon my chamber door
This is the only place
I can think
But how can I?
You, rapping upon my chamber door
Take what you need and leave
Never rap upon my chamber door
Life Is Hard...Isn't it funny how people assume professional help is better for someone than just talking o their friends about it? See, here's the thing... Maybe it's better for some people, but think about kids..kids who suffer from depression. If you were a kid, would you rather talk to your closest friends, or someone you've never met..?Life Is Hard...3 days ago in Emotional More Like This
Friends, we know how you feel, we've seen it happen before, and some of us..we've tried it before. We learn to read you like a book, whether you know it or not. We can read your emotions and can tell if something's wrong at the drop of a hat. We know what boundaries to push, and what boundaries you don't push. So, a therapist has a degree? How does that make him better at helping people than the people closest to that person? Most kids, would rather have at least one close friend who will hear them out, and talk them through it, then speak to someone they don't know about everything that's ever happened to them to cause whatever they're going through.
Musical spell...music be the food of loveMusical spell...3 days ago in Emotional More Like This
life force that keeps you well
feel the beat flowing through you
as you`re caught up in it`s spell...........
© Lissie Bull 2014
Short But SweetThe love I have abstained from cannot be held off any longer. Yet, I try not to gasp/scream *your name too loudly when I orgasm. My head swims the ocean of my heart for *you. It pummels anything in its path to get to *you. To be near *your soul. To be with *you in a way that cannot be possible. To be *yours. Finally *yours.Short But Sweet3 days ago in Emotional More Like This
OCDI crack my knuckles, every single one of them, in order.OCD4 days ago in Emotional More Like This
I tap the floor...one, two, three times...
I swallow, somehow using the right side of my throat more than the left. I quickly swallow again, emphasizing the left. It takes several tries.
I look at the black shirt on my floor, then at the grey sweater. And I repeat the process three times.
I do the swallowing thing. Again.
I clench my teeth, evenly distributing the pressure on both sides of my mouth. For a millisecond, there is more pressure on my front teeth than on my back, so I repeat, clenching my jaw more tightly in the back. But only long enough to balance things out.
I blink, but my right eye closes more forcefully than my left eye. When my eyes open, I squint my left eye. The process might not make sense, but it feels right. And then, I repeat the process, only vice versa.
I look at the walls. Right wall. Left wall. Left wall. Right wall. Left wall. Right wall. Right wall. Left wall.
I tap my fingers on the keyboard...once