This Is For You. Stand Strong~Author's note: I've been having this in my mind for some time, but I needed something to force me to write it down and share it with the world. And today it has happened. Today is the day in which I'm finally going to tell you this.This Is For You. Stand Strong~8 hours ago in Emotional
Some people will say that I'm too yound to say this. Or maybe that I haven't lived enough, or that I haven't passed through enough stuff to have these thoughts. They don't know me at all. But this is not for those. This is for you. For the ones that are either sad, depressed, nervous, with anxiety problems, etc. This is for the ones who need help in any way.
You might already know that everybody have their own problems, even if they are always smiling. Even the helpers. We have our own problems and we cry and we make things we regret later. But we're all humans in the end. And, as humans, we make mistakes. A lot of them. We all fall and we will keep falling once and once again. But there will always be someone who will be right next to you to
Let the Pain RoarOne drop of blood.Let the Pain Roar2 days ago in Emotional
Two drops of blood.
Three drops of blood.
Now a trickle. Let the pain reign and roar out, let me know that I am still alive. Punish me and everything I am, for I am evil. I deserve to be gone from this world.
Just let me disappear you stupid fucking world...
Stop dragging me down, stop then giving me a slight thread of hope, stop allowing me to see what happiness is, because in the end, you always just drag me back down under again....
Just let me die in the darkness alone.
Sissy doll tgSometimes I get really bored at home. I live alone and have no job. Due to this I have basically no money so I can not go out and do anything, plus I have no car.Sissy doll tg1 day ago in Emotional
One day I came up with an idea of a game. Where I basically pick random items of clothing from my closet, while I'm blindfolded and put them on. I called it the dress up game.
The first couple of times this game was a bit boring because I did not really have any interesting clothes. So one day I went round town buying lots of bits of clothing: Baby clothes, woman's clothes and even a few masks. When I got back home I started playing straight away.
I should probaly tell you who I am first: my name is Jeff and I turned 21 about a week ago, as I said I don't have a job so my family is giving me just enough money to sustain me, no more no less. Anyway on with the story!
I layed down the clothing on the ground and put the blindfold on. I twirled around and choose... A pair of frilly pink panties, I was regretting this already. I p
So much moreYou don't nee me.So much more1 day ago in Emotional
So you'll leave me.
Just like that.
Nothing ever changes.
I'm sorry for hurting you.
I love you and I never lied about that.
I hope that you believe that.
:Vent: I Can't Protect You Against The MonsterI messed up. I'm not the brightest and I'm not the kindest. I'm not the dream guy or the main character, or the antagonist that is clever. I'm the monster that is jealous of the rest. The over protective dick who can't get his head on straight. I've messed up and I'll always messed up. I'll never get it right. All I do is hurt you and cause fights. I'm just selfish and that's all I'll ever be because I'm a monster. I failed too many times and you've given me too many chances. But I'll just disappoint you time after time again. I want to change, I really do. But I know I never will, because that is how I am. I've said sorry to many times, the words have no meaning. I could make an apology letter or a mixtape but what's the point if I'm just going to do it again. I'm pathetic and cruel and absolutely trash. And I just continue to hurt what I want to protect. The only thing you need protected from is me.:Vent: I Can't Protect You Against The Monster2 days ago in Emotional
Hello!My mascot, Riuu ♡♡ My species♡ Tumblr♡ Riuudoptables♡ InstagramHello!2 days ago in Emotional
the lieI stand.the lie2 days ago in Emotional
I stand at the brink of civilization pouring my heart out onto the world.
We bleed and break for sex and money. Try to figure out how the heart breaks.
We are the wounded animals at daybreak. We are the sleeping children who lie awake.
We are mysteries. That have all but evolved naturally.
We are the crosses you bare. We are the naked sun and moon upon our mirrors.
Dance. Lie to me each time you said you loved me, but went to him instead.
I was your side mirror. Your replacement. Your toxic air that made you feel good.
I was the empty emotion, running out of your mouth like vomit.
I was the sore in your back. The lie beneath the sheets that you swore were your own.
And now I'm empty. Begging my heart to stop. The dealer, running out of coke to sell.
I stopped putting pennies in the wishing well. There was no fairy to greet me.
I was the lie. The one you tattooed on your wrist. Sworn to forget me.
I was the lie.
I was the lie...
You Shouldn'tI shouldn't think about it. Or Should I? I shouldn't look for you in every dark corner of my mind. I shouldn't drag you along on the treacherous search for someone who isn't there anymore. You're there, but you're not there. You're not available. You're not respondent. You're not everything I want you to be; because you can't be and you don't have enough of yourself to give me. You've already given me too much.You Shouldn't3 days ago in Emotional
I am greedy and selfish and a victim of my own making. I want you to need me. I want to be the reason you breathe a shallow breath, the monster under the bed, the "why" you can't sleep at night. I want you to beg at my knees to take you back. And I would. I want you to feel what I feel every fucking moment of every day.
But you won't; and you shouldn't. And I respect you for that. I respect you for backing down and away. I've already taken more of you than I should have. I dragged you down this sick twisted slope before, I let you fall. Boy, did you fall.
~3 week kindness challenge~Kindness can be hard to come by these days. Everyone is always in a rush to get somewhere or get things done "right" now. It means a lot when someone says thank you, gives you a get well soon card, and other small but meaningful things such as those. Kindness can come in many forms, but people just don't take the time to reciprocate when people give kindness to them. This is why this world can feel really cold.~3 week kindness challenge~2 days ago in Emotional
This new generation is very self-centered and narcissistic. This doesn't mean everyone from this generation is or will be selfish or narcissistic, but many are. They're too busy to talk on the phone and have a nice chat, so they decide to send texts which is very cold and impersonal. I'm not writing this at all to judge the millennials, because I'm apart of this group too, but I'm trying to point out how backwards things are today. It's absolutely ridiculous. I sat around a table of 5 people before, each of us eating lunch, and absolutely everyone had their phones out, texting a
En el iris de tu ojoEn el vacío de una noche cargada, miro al cielo.En el iris de tu ojo2 days ago in Emotional
Ahogándome en las cristalinas pozas de tus ojos. Sintiendo como poco a poco, el agua me absorbe y me lleva dentro. Me resisto sin fuerzas al terror austero que me aguarda ahí abajo, en el iris de tu ojo.
Bajo poco a poco. Mi cuerpo es oprimido entre el azul de tu interior. Asustada pero resignada, grito bajo el agua, solo burbujas que acobardadas abandonan mis pulmones, buscando la salida, abandonándome.
Y entonces el pequeño aro de luz comienza a desaparecer y me veo sumergida entre penumbras iluminadas por tu vida. Estoy cerca de tocar fondo, lo sé, puedo sentirlo. Pero no me aterra el llegar ahí, lo que me asusta es el saber que una vez ahí, desapareceré. Olvidada ahí abajo, como todos los demás. Un simple rostro en un mar de comunes.
Y en el eterno dolor agonizante de un alma con los pulmones repletos de agua, me veo obligada a observar como segundo a segundo,
Goodbye (Possibly)So, if you read my status, I won't be uploading here for a while. I don't have any motivation to draw anymore. For around a year now, I have been struggling with anxiety and depression. I have attempted suicide once.Goodbye (Possibly)4 hours ago in Emotional
I am near my breaking point. My girlfriend is moving and I won't see her for a long time. I fear I may do something stupid that will either lead me to a psych ward or a coffin.
This being said, I don't know if I will ever really continue to draw a lot. I don't want to stop drawing, but these mental disorders are taking over. I can't focus on anything anymore and my life is falling to pieces.
I'm sorry if anyone actually looked foward to seeing my art or little journal entries and literature.
Farewell and I hope you never have to see and feel what I have.
No Imperfection is the SameBeauty is not about being perfect or looking amazing, it is the imperfections that make one beautiful because the imperfections make you one of a kind and is even more beautiful then being perfect. She has been called a monster all her life for being visibly different, she had to have many surgeries to fix her her body that slowly began to fight against her, she ended up in a wheelchair and crutches. School was difficult since everyone would stare at her and whisper thing about her, she had no friends because everyone saw her as a freak. People would stare at her or be extremely rude to her, running into her on purpose then calling her names such as freak or monster. She got use to it and locked herself in her own mind sealing her heart away from the world around her. She eventually gave up in trying to be someone people could see as a person and not a freak, she lost hope in becoming someone people could like. She lost hope in ever being accepted for who she was and not the imperfectiNo Imperfection is the Same1 day ago in Emotional
Melancholy Memory (Pencil)A pencil.Melancholy Memory (Pencil)1 day ago in Emotional
What a simple thing to fixate on. Your gaze does not leave it.
Pale hands, frail hands.
Head, eyes, nose, mouth, etched out with a pencil.
Draping over his thin shoulders, cat-like. His soft smile,
a rumble like a laugh against your chest.
I can teach you, if you want.
Wide grin, childish yet. A nod and a hug
and a pencil of your own.
Drawing side by side,
You pick up the pencil on the edge of your desk
with an air of melancholy
Head, eyes, nose, mouth, etched out with a pencil.
Thin, sore shoulders. Sad smile,
breaths like sobs shaking your chest.
I remember everything you've taught me.
You let the pencil fall.
Brain Fart #350% of me- "I love Disney movies and puppies and chocolate and Power Rangers and magical girl anime."Brain Fart #39 hours ago in Emotional
50% of me- "I love Scream, the occult, creepypasta, the macabre and reading about real-life horror stories."
Do you know?Do you know the feeling, when you really like someone, but every time you see the person they're with someone else? And they seem happy. And you can't do anything about it.Do you know?3 days ago in Emotional
Do you know that feeling when your heart feels just so heavy? That you don't seem to be able to bear it anymore.
Do you know the feeling when you're so close to the person and yet so far away?
I know that feeling all too well.
And I have a question.
What do you do with that?
6 Episoden aus Ghules AsylumDer Ghul6 Episoden aus Ghules Asylum3 days ago in Emotional
Der Ghul ließ Bilder für sich sprechen...
"How to approach Ghouls."
Volker hatte die Angewohnheit, jeden Tag um eine bestimmte Zeit den Flur zu patrouillieren, dabei den rechten Arm zu heben und "Führer! Führer!" zu brüllen. Auf die Bedeutung dieses Rituals angesprochen, erwiderte er: "Das ist eine Sache des Herzens! ...und des Verstandes." Und während ich noch überlegte, was ich darauf antworten könnte, deduzierte er bereits stolz: "Deswegen mangelt es den linksgrünversifften Mainstreamjuden an zwei Dingen: Herz und Verstand!"
Ich kündigte Dr. Y an, ich wolle sowohl meine Autobiographie als auch meine gestrige Begegnung mit Volker in einem monumentalen Kunstwerk zusammenfassen, um das Erlebte zu verarbeiten. Warum ich dafür noch eine Gesamtausgabe der Encyclopedia Britannica verlangte, verstand sie freilich nicht. Sie hatte aber gelernt, man solle dem Kran
Gratitude: Why Thanksgiving MattersGratitude: Why Thanksgiving Matters2 days ago in Emotional
The moment Halloween is over, many stores skip right into Christmas. After all, that's their big money maker. People always want more. That's not necessarily a bad thing in and of itself. That feeling of never being completely satisfied is what makes us strive to change things. But it can also leave us focused so much on what we don't have that we miss what we do.
Thanksgiving is about food and family, but it's also about so much more. It's right there in its name. Thanksgiving: giving thanks. And here's why giving thanks matters:
Life is difficult. It's a struggle for many people just to make ends meet, to balance feeding their family and paying rent. There are many people who are unhealthy or caring for those who are unhealthy. And many people have lost loved ones. There are many reasons for people to want more or even just to want out.
Maybe if they had more money, they could be happy. Maybe if they were healthy, attractive, or had someone else i
Forgotten letter..... looking for wordsI wanted allForgotten letter..... looking for words3 days ago in Emotional
I wanted your past...bla bla bla ….none before, nil after
I wanted you and ...bla bla bal bla ,mystified,mythified
I wanted... bla bla bla shades of greys and the other colors... bla bla
I wanted to... bla bla the puzzle of your... bla bla bodies
I wanted... bla bla bla bla this damned check shirt
I wanted gin your... bla bla bla with detachment
I wanted to be the muse of your political radicalism although, in your case,it was a complete nonsense
I wanted.... bla bla you fix the focus.... bla bla into my eyes'pupil
I wanted to twine.... bla bla hairs strands.... bla bla bla witch shade your... blabla
I wanted... bla bla my lips ...bla bla no end of... bla bla the lines of the little winkles... bla bla bla your eyes
I wanted... bla bla your biting beard... bla bla bla abraded furrows.. bla bla bla on my skin offered
Daddy Loves YouPeople say when you are close to death your life flashes before your eyes. Right now, in this moment, as death creeps up on me though, I have to say that statement is false. I am a bit ahead of myself though, so allow me to rewind just a little.Daddy Loves You15 hours ago in Emotional
We were driving home, it is my daughter’s eighth birthday, and for her party, as always, we went to Chuck E. Cheese’s. This was a tradition her mother, my late wife, Rebecca, started. Every year we would go to Chuck E. Cheese’s, the food was subpar and overpriced in my book, but Rebecca and Amy, that’s our daughter, would laugh and play, enjoying all the different games. I couldn’t help but smile at the two, my beautiful girls, the loves of my life.
Rebecca passed away last year; she lost a battle to cancer: it has been hard on the both of us.
I almost forgot Amy’s birthday, I feel that I haven’t been the father I should to her, but it had been hard.
Before It's Too Much(I don't know if it needs a trigger warning, but I talk about myself briefly in the second paragraph, please skip it if you have any reason to worry about it)Before It's Too Much2 days ago in Emotional
To my readers, my friends in real life, my RP friends, anyone who comes across this, and myself a lot of the time:
I love you, and I promise this isn't just one of those things that I say without meaning, I am not that person. I think everyone is a wonderful individual, with talents and hopes and incredible things inside of them. I think that every person has the power to face the day, and I know that that is an incredible challenge for many people. I know that everyone has their own battle to fight, including - sometimes especially - the people who seem to have it the most together and who hide it from everyone around them who they care about. I believe that you are someone who can keep pushing through this, and I understand that I may be asking a lot of you.
I know what it's like to forget all of that myself. I know what it is
Mommy „Mommy“, the little boy muttered, “why is it that it gets dark at night?”Mommy1 day ago in Emotional
The mother looked down at him, only able to make out a dark silhouette through all of the snowflakes falling down from the sky.
“It’s because we have to get ready for the lights reappearance.”
“Mommy”, the little boy whispered, “why is it that everyone’s scared of the dark?”
Again, the mother took a glance at him, now finally catching the expression on her boys frozen face.
“It’s because in the dark we can’t see what’s endangering us.”
“Mommy”, the little boy cried out suddenly, “why can’t we be save?!”
At this, the mother reached out to him, lifted up his cheek and looked into his scared blue eyes.
“It’s because the biggest threat to the living is life itself.”
The little boy looked around at the white stars fallin
What is this feeling?I don't say much, because I listen more than I speak.What is this feeling?2 days ago in Emotional
I find more patience with blooming flowers than people.
It takes more skill to talk to people rather than painting a cherry blossom.
Dealing with people who have short tempers is more difficult than fitting a large burger into my mouth.
Baking along is more pleasant than working on a group project.
The crashing waves of the ocean is more quieter than a room full of my classmates.
I love being surrounded by a thunderstorm apart from a thousand hoots at a concert.
The combination of a violin and a piano is sweeter than the story of star-crossed lovers.
I'm more familiar with the scientific names in marine biology than the names of a distant family member.
My stuff animals know more facts about me than my close friends.
Now that I have met you, my whole world had changed.
Now you know me, and I know you. We know things about each other that no one else knows.
Spending time with you is like staring at the sunset.
You gave me a feeling I
violet, so be it, so then what?I catch the glimpse of my reflection in a windowviolet, so be it, so then what?2 days ago in Emotional
and think of how it will have taken 22 years to feel pretty (sometimes) and how many more, a lifetime to perhaps, to feel that it does not matter, (only being, being alive, being oneself). I hear you rage and lament for your stolen youth –the youth that was poured into the coffers of churches, used to oil the ever churning gears of Evil– with a clenched heart. Those 22 years, they stole from me too. They gave me the poison when they had an apple in the other hand. I say “but you are happy now? Surely you are happy now– now we are together?” Silence. I hear the words you won’t speak out: yes we are together now– now that it’s too late.
So be it then, so what. So I want to lie on the dusty boards of your floor while you play your records or your guitar and become a part of these things you love, dissolve among the letters and the memories you prize. Dissolve into that particular
Alone with my thoughtsThought 1Alone with my thoughts1 day ago in Emotional
Peering inside of the mind of a madman may make any flower either wilt in disgust and ignorance, or blossom in understanding and faith.
Purified thoughts of malice are simply a fire created by hatred extinguished by the same factor in which it was crafted. No matter how pure it seems, it is still a vile thing. The shadows may hide its intentions, but alas, it still cries out war when the light is cast.
Vile intentions grow in us all, feeding from our hatred of others. The anger ridden words laced in frustration, drips like venom from their singed lips, cracking the once soft skin. Poisoning the innocence in your heart, defining you to this day. The seed of despair blossoms brilliantly, creating a facade of purity. Intentions never known, leaving us ignorant. We all are now left behind in the world of false happiness created by you, because of us. Don't let them inside, be perfect, be amazing, be beautiful, be what they want us to be. Be machines.