Those Phone CallsIt has been a year since I last saw you mom. And there is something about a year, because it's not two months, four or six months, it's one year. The back of my mind is yelling ow my god it has been one year. I managed not to cry from missing my family all this time, I made it, I put this thing whatever it is on my heart and I didn't let it hurt or feel pain from missing them. I have no idea how I did it, but I did not cry from longing all this year.Those Phone Calls18 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
So my mind is trying to convince me that it's fine now, it keeps saying you can let go, feel what you need to feel, you did great, let it go, cry, feel sad. Because it has been one long year. I have always felt like I have two brains, maybe because I'm a freaking Gemini, if that what those things do to you, I have no idea. But I don't want to, there is no point from turning myself into a big bowling mess.
All I could do is call , I called you every day mom. I was so scared not to call one day and miss something from your life, I wanted to
A Bipolar UniverseThe same moon.A Bipolar Universe22 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
Just different phases.
I just need to fill it now...My feelings are like savage beasts, I can't control them, all I can do is digging a big hole in the ground, lure them into it and wait for them to calm down.I just need to fill it now...18 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
Of course, I 'm aware that it won't make them disappear. They won't just fade away.
Even if the beasts die, there will still be a big hol in my Garden
All Was WellOne day, my sister came home in her familiar, disturbed mood. She usually opens the door, says hi to see if anyone's home and gently closes the door. But this time, she didn't say hi and instead of just closing the door, she slammed it shut. This was the trigger to the entire house as we all knew what she may have been feeling.All Was Well12 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
My dad already knew that my sister wasn't in the mood. He didn't bother to say hi but he did today. My dad is known for his sarcastic jokes but usually, for us, it's quite annoying. Especially at that time, my sister did not have a care in the world to go along with it. For me, I was upstairs in my room. I wasn't exactly there at the scene but I can hear everything.
My dad gave his sarcastic joke and my sister's overall mood engulfed the entire house just like water filling up a glass. Every part of her negative energy spread throughout and my parents felt it too. Really, my sister could not hold in her emotions enough for only her to feel.
My dad started to cor
Quick NoticeSo I'm sorry I haven't been on a lot, I'm just going through a lot. I will be on more and might post very bad art xD. And I'm very supportive of the lgbt+ community! I welcome all!Quick Notice35 minutes ago in Emotional More Like This
If no REMAINS OR SEAL, FMA Homunculi are IMMORTALI really hate how the ultrapowered, but mortal-not mortal as in old age, but as in they have a finite number of souls and they use up a soul each time they die, Brotherhood Homuncuil are superimposed onto FMA Homunculi. How the remains or sealing are seen as a 'shortcut' to killing them, rather than the ONLY TWO WAYS to kill them.If no REMAINS OR SEAL, FMA Homunculi are IMMORTAL16 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
This is absolutely unsubstantiated. Greed had eaten a finite number of lives, BUT he wouldn't have lost them without the SEAL. Roy burnt the skull along with dissolved Pride. In other words, Pride might have regenerated again had Roy not destroyed both Pride and his skull.
Yes, in Brotherhood, Mustang is an overpowered badass that can kill and nearly kill two strong Homunculi and can kill hundreds of lesser Homunculi.
But please, lets give credit to the immortal abominations that FMA Homunculi are, that the alchemist must use special items to break the 'curse' if you will, NOT raw strength.
InfernoA sea of beautiful flowers, purple, pink, blue and a whole range of vibrant colours, their individual magnificent scents mingling and mixing together and creating a wondrous fragrance.Inferno21 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
The house behind them frames these plants perfectly; the plain looking wooden walls a perfect backdrop for this masterpiece of nature and careful design.
The night had previously made all of this difficult to see but no longer.
The plants and house illuminates slightly and darkness dissipates as the light grows and each rose bud and plant stalk grows clear.
And turns to black.
These beautiful colours diminishing; darkness taking their place.
And dark shade soon turns to orange.
The beautiful garden and home disappearing and morphing into simple kindling for the fire spreading quickly across the street.
The home next door suddenly bursts into flames as well, as the home with the once amazing garden collapses into itself and crushes its occupants, leaving them trapped and gasping for air inside of this rag
The Only ThingI'm not okay. I feel like I'm drowning. I feel like I'm barley keeping my head above the water. That that little place in the deepest depths of my mind is what keeps me going. Those people that I can surround myself with and laugh with. They're not real but they feel real. I wish they were real. Because really, they're the only thing keeping me a float. The only thing.The Only Thing1 day ago in Emotional More Like This
TwI had so many reasons to love her,Tw2 days ago in Emotional More Like This
and then I loved her beyond reason.
They Have No Idea...Alone again I ask myselfThey Have No Idea...2 days ago in Emotional More Like This
How can I do the impossible
My thoughts go back to you
My thoughts are what bring me down
The whiskey burns my throat like dull fire
as I try to make up my mind
I crave the feeling that buzzes my mind and jumbles the thoughts
It never seems to last as long as I want and soon..too soon..my mind is back to you
I love you and that handsome smile
You light up my heart with that look in your eyes as you talk about work
Yet I cannot bring the courage to my own mouth
To speak the words I've longed to say for weeks
I love you
I love your smile
I love hanging around before you get home
I loved it that day when I was at the house and you didn;t know.
The blush that crept across your cheeks as we hugged
I shared the same feeling but I have no idea on how to tell you
I ask advice and they all say the same.
Just tell him,
Though they have no idea how hard it is to me...
Like a fossilI saw her. I thought I’d miss her, I don’t. I miss being with her, being one of her concerns, a part of her world. It seems wrong that now she no longer needs to even think of me rather to need me. I thought the world of her, of us, thought we’d have a future together.Like a fossil6 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
It was bright, and it got even brighter. I have gone blind putting all of my hopes and dreams on it… before too long it all went dark smashing my everything to the ground.
I thought I’ve forgotten, but from time to time the memories come crawling like it was only yesterday, brand new, fresh.
Printed in my brain like a fossil.
silentat silent night, calm eyes flashed, someone, walking, hopped over a fence. Started new life, sayed goodbye to old ways, bright light , eyes so calm turned to flaming phoenix...silent3 days ago in Emotional More Like This
LieHow did this happen..? It all started as a joke...but soon it became a nightmare for me. My friends don't know, only one does.I can't tell the others the truth. How would they react if i told them... that i actually loved you..? Or do I? No, I don't! I don't love you! I don't need you! I don't want you! But... why do I feel like I do..?No! This love isn't real! I never loved you! It was all a joke! But, why do I feel so hurt? I should be happy, right? I can finally see smile... in the arms of someone... who loves you... like I do...Lie11 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
The promise of the Cigarette PackEveryone ask me why do i keep a cigarette pack stored, unopened, why i don't smoke those cigarettes, probably because they don't know what that simbolize to me. That cigarette pack was my last promise to her, i was supossed to give it to her before she was totally gone, she didn't knew i would give it to he the next time we saw the each other, but that was the point.The promise of the Cigarette Pack16 hours ago in Emotional More Like This
I wanted her to think about me and our last hours together while she was smoking in her new city, her new home, and think when we would be able to see the each other again, with a smile on her face, that cigarette pack and each one of the cigarettes were supossed to mean that, memories of good days filled by sweet and lovely moments...... But, i could not give it to her.
Our last days and hours together, came earlier than i thought, since she never came back, i could not see her again, no one could actually, no one could say good-bye, i could not have those lovely last days and hours i thought of with her, i could not feel
Failure No MoreFailure No More.Failure No More1 day ago in Emotional More Like This
I have failed many times before…then my mind takes over.
My mind is a terrible place. I likes to boil in its own suffering so that I can suffer more. The rejection letter is constantly reread in my mind. My parent’s useless remarks are acted out over and over again.
I can feel my body grow weaker with the anxiety. The sunny day becomes grey. The endless loop rolls on.
I’ve never seen failure in a positive light. How can you? Someone or some group of people are rejecting you and confirming that you are useless. They send you a generic letter or some template speech. There is no sympathy, just like a Band-Aid. Rip it off and kick you out.
I fall into another cycle of blame. I blame them, I blame my parents, and sometimes I blame myself.
The way I let my mind treat me, I would never treat another human being. My ‘ego’ takes on a voice just to put me down. They say the ego sounds like someone you know but mines doesn’t. It’s just t
Just todayJust today. Then I can start all over again. New days, new years and maybe even new victories. But before I finish, all I need is just today. Surviving is the key. Surviving is a theme for many days now. Comforting myself, all I need is to get through this day today. Then, all will be over and tomorrow morning I will rise happy, cheerful without burden of secrets and past lives. I will rise light as early morning summer clouds and sun that makes my body feel warm and human.Just today2 days ago in Emotional More Like This
Few days ago I realized I haven't been hugged. No one hugged me. I needed to be hugged, tightly and tight like I'm going to be broken. That dawn when we were saying goodbye, I had one chance, I craved for a warm hug. Ask, and you shall be given. And I was. I got my hug, exactly that one I wanted.
I rarely ask for help. I don't ask for hugs, kisses or even to be loved. I can be dependent, clingy and too attached. Was it all just in my head? I guess it really was. I wake up tormented with regrets. I regret every singl
I hope you're happyI hate fake friends! I used to think I could see through the act. I used to think I couldn't be fooled by a pretty face. I used to think that there was a glimmer of hope for the human race but I was wrong. Wrong about people, wrong about the world, And worst of all I was wrong about YOU! You charmed me, you made me smile. You soothed me when I was scared. You saved me from myself but for what? So you could leave me? So you could feel good about fixing the "cutter"? So you could laugh in my face as my entire world fell apart because the only good thing I ever had, ever believed in, proved me wrong? Whatever your reason is I hope you're happy now. I hope you never even look back because when you do I will be there. I will be the ghost of a girl you once knew, a skeleton, a shell. And despite all of that I still love you, I still care, and I probably always will. That's why you hurt so bad because you only pretended and then let me fall.I hope you're happy3 days ago in Emotional More Like This
DestinyBlue's StoryDestinyBlue's Story2 days ago in Emotional More Like This
This is copied from DestinyBlue's artwork 'Depression'. I felt the need to fulfill her wish to have this shared. And I will tell my story as well.
Hi I'm Blue, and I struggle with mental illness.
Some of you will dismiss me, some of you will be scared of me, some of you will blame me, but a surprising amount of you will understand me, because 1 in 4 people experience mental health issues. Considering so many people experience it, we hear so little about it; it's the family secret you can't tell anyone, the fake smile so know one knows, the calling in sick but blaming food poisoning. It's hard for me to write about, but I write this hoping it makes it easier for the next person to speak about it.
I am going to tell you my story, of my path with mental illness. I don't know if it has a happy ending yet...
It began with a tough situation at home, which triggered the anxiety. It's hard to explain the exact feeling. It's kind of like where you're leaning back on your c
HATEAll the hate, I can't stand it.HATE2 days ago in Emotional More Like This
This is not me, this can't be me.
So much anger, so much hate.
All because I said: "Yeah? Me too!".
Why don't they hate HER too?
Is it because she's not ugly like me?
Why does she deserve understanding and I don't??
I tried to wash it away, fight it...
But I can't beat it, I can't change who I am.
They say that they hate all the people like me,
Yet they don't care about HER being the same.
The boys are sick, the girls are scared,
As if I wanted to fuck them all.
Anytime they say bullshit, I try to correct them nicely.
But all I get in return is hate and more bullshit.
I'm a monster, to all of them.
My sexuality makes them laugh.
I don't want them to laugh.
Up untyl this point I was proud to be who I am.
Pink, Purple, Blue, my proud colours.
But now I try to wash them off.
I can't be like this.
I need to stay NORMAL...
I just want to come home.
I just want to give you a nice big hug.
Because you are the only person who understands.
The only person who thi
NothingNothing in an Eden...Nothing2 days ago in Emotional More Like This
static winds have burned remembrances
mirrors reflect a defined space into stopped time
silence there, is deafening
tenacious emotions gave birth to small grey flowers
useless passions have dried, shreds, on the ground
feelings are gone in balloons pierced
echoes of your tasteless life sometimes come to me, wrapped in the soot of your tears
I'm the Prince and the Keeper of
Nothing est un Eden...
les vents immobiles ont brûlé les souvenirs
les miroirs reflètent un espace défini sur un temps arrêté
le silence y est assourdissant
les émotions tenaces ont donné naissance à de petites fleurs grises
les passions inutiles ont séché par lambeaux sur le sol
les pulsions se sont envolées dans des ballons de baudruche crevés
parfois, les échos de vos vies insipides arrivent à moi, enveloppés de la suie de vos larmes
j'en suis le Prince et le Gardien
The EndHay momentos, como los de esta noche, en los que siento que sólo queda decir adiós. No es como si hubiese esperado algo, así que trato de que no duela. Supongo que me encariñé demasiado con la idea de un imposible, y yo ,que vivo de sueños, no sé que hacer cuando uno de ellos estalla en mil pedazos, como una de esas burbujas que nunca dejan de maravillarme.The End2 days ago in Emotional More Like This
Sí, todavía soy una niña.
Quizá querías algo de mí que nunca iba a ocurrir, quizá querías una versión distinta de mí; o, quizá como siempre, nunca soy suficiente. Porque eso es lo que siento tras cada persona que se va: que no soy suficiente. Pero quería serlo para ti.
Tal vez es lo mejor decir adiós. Terminar esta historia inacabada, darle un final a un cuento sin inicio, uno que quizá nunca empezó. Uno del que probablemente nunca supiste. Y, antes de que seas capaz de romperme el corazón, prefiero dejar todo tal y com
This FeelingThis Feeling3 days ago in Emotional More Like This
Saturday, August 1st, 2015. 23.50 (11:50PM)
This feeling that you get when you feel like you’re drowning in agony. It starts in your throat and it grows. It grows till you can’t see because your eyes are full filled with tears. It grows till you want to yell instead of sob, but you don’t know what to yell. It grows till your broken heart turns black, like if the blood that runs through it brought by your veins weren’t red anymore. It grows till it consumes you completely and there’s nothing left of you, maybe just the memory of what you once used to be in some people, but they will forget you eventually.
This feeling that I’d wish I never knew, this feeling that I know too well. How I hate it.
For JackSepticEyeDearest Boss,For JackSepticEye3 days ago in Emotional More Like This
I'm probably a shadow to the community. I've always kept quiet. I've never been noticed, never been able to say MY THANKS to you, Sean.
Please read this.
Your probably a close friend to me, though we've never met in person. This is because.. Well, I never lost you as a friend.
Most of my friends... I can't keep them. I move too much, and internet doesn't seem to be a strong string.
But Through all this depression, stress, hatefullness of myself, I happened to stumble upon one of your earliest videos.
You made me smile.
You've made alot of people smile.
Your a friend I cant lose, and a good friend. Your a good guy, and I can see were you got all of those subscribers.
No, not "subscribers..."
I'm sorry about not contributing, being a shadow in the community.
I could never bring myself to communicate with you earlier on, when you would have noticed me.
Well, I don't even think you'll see this.