Headspace Prologue: Intro to Identity DisordersThere exists is a disorder in which it feels as though multiple souls or minds share a singular body. This phenomena is known as a "Split Personality Disorder". This category can be called by many other names, such as Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) and Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD). There is also UDD (Unspecified Dissociative Disorder) and OSDD (Other Specified Dissociative Disorder), which can be broken down into DDNOS-1a and DDNOS-1b. I, personally, have DDNOS-1b. This means that I have multiple personalities or "facets" among other symptoms of DID, but do not generally have amnesia because of them.Headspace Prologue: Intro to Identity Disorders9 minutes ago in Introductions & Chapters
Those of us with these disorders classify ourselves as "systems" because we are a team of many different people working together to function as a "normal" human being. There are generally two types of systems: Median and Multiple. I am a Median System. I'm not a Multiple System because we share most of our memories. Multiple Systems forget after nearly every switch.
I have onl
Headspace Chapter 6: LeeThey are... a sad story.Headspace Chapter 6: Lee1 hour ago in Introductions & Chapters
They are the truth behind the scars.
We all have Our moments of weakness,
But Theirs manifest differently.
In the forms of razors and nooses.
They're extremely depressed.
They've been suicidal since grade seven,
When everything was confusing,
And nothing felt right.
They did what They had to do
To feel normal.
They haven't made an attempt on Her life
Since They realized We were here.
They didn't even see Us until We were Juniors.
They now realize Our lives are in Their hands, as well.
That doesn't stop Them from hurting.
It doesn't stop Them from running blades over skin.
The most They'd done for the past year and a half
Was sob Themselves to sleep
Or sulk in a corner.
But last week They faced again.
They haven't been seen since.
They drew so much blood for Me to clean up...
So much more than any of the times before.
I'm not angry.
I'm just worried for Their safety
Wherever They went.
I hope they're safe.
I hope someday We can find Them.
I hope We can help Them
Headspace Chapter 5: MonicaHer coming out has become a very rare occurrence.Headspace Chapter 5: Monica1 hour ago in Introductions & Chapters
She split from Him while We were in high school
And came to being after an incident
The summer after Freshman year.
Her ways of coping are...
Unconventional to say the least.
But, out of this, She gives Us confidence.
She tells Us when We do well.
When We make Host's body look beautiful.
She makes Us proud of what we do.
She hasn't faced in over two years.
At least not in public.
Not while in the company of any other people.
And it's partially My fault.
I keep Her hidden.
I don't want people knowing about Her.
There is a rule that when We're in public
She cannot face alone.
She has to face beside me, if at all,
So I may send Her away if She makes us look bad.
Which She does very often.
She talks too much of the things She wishes would be.
Things that friends of ours do not need to hear from us.
It's almost as though She does it on purpose
To test my patience.
But, She also draws people in.
She's like a siren, but not as deadly,
Headspace Chapter 4: AveryI am the level-headed narrator of events.Headspace Chapter 4: Avery2 hours ago in Introductions & Chapters
The director, working behind the scenes,
Keeping everything in working order.
I think everything through and make major decisions.
It is my responsibility to try my best to keep everyone together.
To keep Us from having a total and complete meltdown.
To make Us appear normal.
I slip up sometimes.
I let someone see Me fight with someone else in here.
I let someone jump in without warning.
But I try my best
To fulfill my purposes
As Gatekeeper and Frontrunner.
Caretaker and Manager.
I get us our jobs and keep them.
I run this like a business.
The goal: Keep the space safe.
And sometimes I do... too well.
I keep Us too safe
To the point where I don't let people get close
That way no one can hurt Her.
I don't remember when I got here.
I feel like I've always been.
Like I was the first of Our group
To emerge from the back of Her mind.
Like there was never a moment She existed
In which I did not exist as well.
I do all I can to keep things running sm
Headspace Chapter 3: MaddiFlowers bloom from her footsteps as she walks.Headspace Chapter 3: Maddi2 hours ago in Introductions & Chapters
She is sweetness and love.
She is kind and energetic and all everyone else in this space aspire to be.
She doesn't want to face it.
Maybe She's scared of accidentally scaring people away.
We wish She would try.
If anyone could undo the damage He does
It would be Her.
She's surfaced once this past year.
She was so happy...
We were all so happy.
It was as if We were on top of the world.
If She came out more often
We would be a better person.
If She came out more often,
We could have saved those relationships.
We could have found true happiness for Host.
But I don't blame Her.
It's frightening out there.
She's scared. Anxious.
She doesn't want to hurt anyone out there.
But doesn't She see that She could save them from hurting?
She loves so unconditionally.
And when she hurts, We all do.
These past months have been especially hard on Her.
They've been very hard for all of Us, as well.
Even He calms down when She's at her best.
Headspace Chapter 2: CaseBefore Her, We were wanderers,Headspace Chapter 2: Case3 hours ago in Introductions & Chapters
Traveling throughout the twists and turns of Her mind,
Not knowing where We were headed or what We may find along the way.
She found Us.
She gave Us somewhere to stay.
She recognized Herself in each of Us.
And, in return,
We gave Her companionship on the days where She felt as though She had no one else.
But, like anyone else, We get jealous.
More specifically, He got jealous.
He destroys Her relationships.
He demolishes every good thing We try to build for Her.
He does not do this because We ask Him to.
Out of love for Her,
We are content in sharing Her with the outside world.
He does this purely because...
He is the physical embodiment of hatred.
There are very few moments anyone will see Him calmed or docile.
We have no idea what made Him despise so purely,
But We genuinely wish We could save Him from Himself,
So She can finally find happiness
And not have it all ruined in due time.
So She does not have to live in the constant fear
Headspace Chapter 1: AshShe is Our Center.Headspace Chapter 1: Ash4 hours ago in Introductions & Chapters
She is Our reason for being.
Her Light travels through each of us, connecting us by a golden rope of memory and good intentions.
We are one, yet We are separate.
She is Our Home.
She doesn't come out much,
But when She does,
It's as though We were all there at the same time.
She is Our Host.
She is kind and gentle,
Strong-willed and passionate,
Struggling, like anyone else,
Intelligent and resourceful,
Cunning, sometimes to the point of being cruel,
She is everything that makes Us.
She loves. She hates.
She's quiet, soft-spoken, and doesn't interrupt.
She's always the last to speak up, for She does not wish to seem rude.
She appears normal,
But, then again, so do most of Us.
She keeps Us safe.
She keeps Us from overstepping our boundaries.
And we love Her,
So we try to repay Her for Her kindness.
For giving Us a home.
For giving Us a mind, even if it's cluttered some days.
For letting Us arrange things the ways We each desire.
For connecting Us to one an
Vida por Vida I2:56, FevereiroVida por Vida I2 days ago in Stories & Vignettes
Toca o telemóvel, eu estava na varanda. Conviviam-se os últimos minutos antes da hora do descanso. Desce-se a escada, com aquela pressa meia indolente de quem não espera uma urgência, veste-se o casaco vermelho reflector por causa da chuva miudinha. Ao telefone, a centralista contacta a PSP, parece que é uma agressão com um ferido. Bairro problemático, a polícia informa que já lá esteve três vezes nas últimas horas. Decidimos quem vai sair, esperamos pelo tripulante de socorro, ou motorista, pois eu não conduzo. Aqui é-se multifacetado para se ser útil. Arrancamos. Com alguma velocidade, mas com suficiente espaço de manobra para a polícia chegar antes de nós... o que afinal não acontece. Dezenas de pessoas na rua, navegantes da noite, entre copos de plástico de cerveja e cérebros ofuscados por estupacientes. Apontam-nos a vítima, eu sigo de pé atrás. J
U-505~ The Changing of ColorsU-505~ The Changing of Colors2 days ago in Stories & Vignettes
I don't wanna be left behind. Distance was a friend of mine. Catching breath in a web of lies. I've spent most of my life riding waves playing acrobat. Shadow boxing the other half. Learning how to react.
I've spent most of my time catching my breath, letting it go, turning my cheek for the sake of the show. Now that you know this is my life, I won't be told what's supposed to be right. Catch my breath, no one can hold me back. I ain't got time for that. Catch my breath, won't let them get me down. It's all so simple now.
Addicted to the love I found. Heavy heart now a weightless cloud. Making time for the ones that count. I'll spend the rest of my time laughing hard with the windows down, keeping faith karma comes around.
I won't spend the rest of my time catching my breath, letting it go, turning my cheek for the sake of the show. Now that you know this is my life, I won't be told what's supposed to be right. Catch my breath, no one can hold me ba
Locks My head is an ocean in the depths of night. The shade of sadness. The colour of regent royalty, the colour of old kings and queens.Locks 2 days ago in Stories & Vignettes
My hair is blue now. Before that, it was red, and then it was a more natural shade of red, then it was purple, and purple again, then mouse brown, then dark brown, then blonde, then pink and then my natural colour.
I don't know why I decided blue. It looks cool and it's different. It's the only colour I haven't really done, but I've wanted to do it for a long while. And now it's blue. Since the bleach didn't dye everything because of the dye still in my hair, it's in different variations. And it's my blue hair that looks like an ocean.
Story Time!! Part one....... before I start this story, I would like to say: DON'T JUDGE ME!!...... yeah that's pretty much it.Story Time!! Part one2 days ago in Stories & Vignettes
So it was a Friday, about 2:31 in the afternoon; I was going to leave any minute now, and I was in class with one of the laptop's, sitting in a corner. I had finished my work WAY early so I had gotten some free time to do whatever. So, being the total NERD I am, I decided to go on one of the spare laptop's. My teacher said I could go on anything as long as it wasn't anything bad. So, me being the person I am, decided to go on DeviantArt and look at Nico DiAngelo x Reader and Leo Valdez x reader fanfics (like I said at the beginning, don't judge me).
I was reading that a bunch so I decided "Hey, I have headphones, I should listen to some music, AND read!" because I somehow managed to get onto YouTube, BEING THE TOTAL NERD I AM!! So I stumble upon a video on YouTube by the fabulous Aphmau, and it was in her Minecraft diaries series (that I absolutely ADORE[warning there MAY be a cou
The LineThere will always be a fine line between fantasy and reality, to my peers. I can go to them at any given time and ask them about what is real to them, and what is merely an imagination that has escaped the depths of their brain, simply to play tricks on their eyes. For me, however, the line is unclear. It is not blurred, dashed, dotted, or fractured; it simply does not exist. That being said, I write the things I see at all times of the day. Most of the visions that flash by me are forgotten, but the best ones are always recurring. I offer all of you those very recurring images in the form of short stories, scripts, or maybe even a stray video from time to time.The Line3 days ago in Introductions & Chapters
Heed this warning, those who choose to read further into my stories: the line between fantasy and reality will inevitably be removed for you, as it is to me.
Read on if you must, but do not lose track of the line.
tire-tracks.We sit in your car in the dark, it feels like the universe ends at the edges of the headlights.tire-tracks.3 days ago in Stories & Vignettes
(Before you had a car, the world seemed much bigger).
Some conversations are built for cars, the happiest moments, the saddest; I have been told so many secrets between gear changes that 40mph has become a state of mind.
(Before I sat in the front seat of my mum’s car, there were no hard conversations).
You sit with your head rolled back against the seat, seatbelt still on, we are parked by an old deer park but we are hurtling through our words as if we were sentient crash dummies aware of imminent impact.
(Before my dad, I didn’t know the difference between a spark plug and an axle; now I don’t the difference between logic and love).
You tell me about your sister’s suicide attempts, I tell you about mine, we don’t look anywhere but out the front windscreen. The headlights dissect the known world, we are in one lane seeing two different things, we are in one lan
Grandad Friedrich My grandfather is imported from Germany. He was born and raised in Königsberg, which means King’s Mountain. He used to be able to take a walk downtown and see the palace where the kings and queens and princes and princesses used to live and walk. It's in shambles, now. No more. No more.Grandad Friedrich 3 days ago in Stories & Vignettes
He was there when nazism was spreading. He was there when he was persecuted for loving someone of the other sex. He was there when the concentration camp he was designated to was liberated, he was there when the Soviets had control of east Germany. He left after the wall was torn down.
Now my grandfather lives with us. He's old, and dying, and he doesn't speak English. He only talks in loud guttural German. Every so often, I catch a single word he says, and I try and comprehend, but I don't understand.
Day And Night I was born when the day met the night. My mother says it was twilight, and the sky looked like a splatter painting, like a marquee on a Broadway, like freckles on my uncle's face. I was a pain from the start. My mother was not allowed to have any painkillers during labour because I was falling asleep in between her contractions, and if my heart rate slowed down anymore, I could die or go into a coma. She didn't want her baby to go into a coma. So she sucked it up and dealt with it. And boy, was she in for an adventure.Day And Night 3 days ago in Stories & Vignettes
Thoughts?One day, a little girl was sitting on a bench crying. Whenever I saw her she was surrounded by friends, but then other days I only ever saw her sitting on her own crying or looking longingly at the people she thought were her friends.Thoughts?3 days ago in Stories & Vignettes
The bench she was sitting on today was my bench, I hadn't claimed it as mine but I always sat on it and watched the world go by, I didn't have friends so the dinner ladies always sat with me and talked to me, but today they were busy and the girl was sitting on my bench before I got there.
Usually I would avoid her, I would find another place to sit, but recently I felt lonely, I didn't have any friends after all, so I sat on my bench. After a while I asked her why she was crying but she didn't tell me, so I decided I would make her happy instead. I talked about how lonely I was and what I would do when I felt lonely, I told her about my stories and showed her my art and she forgot about her sadness, then I made her laugh, I told jokes and acted silly and
Ma maison hantee : Partie 1Comment j’ai transformé ma demeure en maison hantée –Partie 1Ma maison hantee : Partie 13 days ago in Introductions & Chapters
J’étais sur mon Commodore 64 en train de voyager sur les différents BBS, puisque l’internet n’existait pas encore. Mon ordinateur était au sous-sol. L’endroit était pratiquement tout en ciment, les fenêtres étaient petites donnant peu de luminosité extérieure d’autant plus qu’on était au début de la nuit. Je ne me rendais pas compte de ce fait, car lorsque j’étais devant mon écran, j’étais dans un état second. Le monde réel n’avait plus d’importance. Ma mère m’y ramena abruptement, elle me rappelait du haut de l’escalier que c’était l’heure d’aller dormir. Je rouspétais. Autant je n’aimais pas me lever le matin, autant je haïssais me coucher. Pour moi, la vie se passait quand le soleil avait disparu.
Dream 10: Deviant God The apartment complex is painted in three shades of green and forms a labyrinthine network of interconnected rooms. Navigating through the complex, I sometimes become lost and stumble through a private room. Everywhere I go the tenants are at work on art or writing.Dream 10: Deviant God4 days ago in Stories & Vignettes
I arrive at an office where I’m to be interviewed by God. I'm applying to become a writer and need to earn His approval.
I sit down in a fern green chair in front of a humble writing desk where God is seated. He's a middle aged man dressed in a blue business suit and composed with an exceedingly casual demeanor. His brown hair is balding at the top. I'm struck by how unpretentious he is.
The interview goes well, until the conversation digresses to the topic of evolution. I ask Him if the human race evolved or if He made us this way. He wants to be ambiguous, that's His style. He tilts his h
Dear Past me...Dear 5 year old me.Dear Past me...4 days ago in Stories & Vignettes
Those books are important one day, keep hold of them. Love the fact you’re learning to read and enjoying it. It’s a love you’ll be glad you have. Care for your toys, just as mum says maybe one day Aunty and Uncle will have a kid of their own and you’ll have to share your things with them. You’ll be waiting a while, but that day comes.
Dear 6 year old me.
It’s okay to wear a summer dress in winter. You don’t feel the cold like the others and honestly nothing has ever suited that atrocious bob cut better. Not to mention, you’ll stand out in that year two school photo so no one will forget you were there.
Dear 7 year old me.
Look after your little bro. He’s the only one you got and just because he can be a little irritating doesn’t mean you can’t love him with all your heart. There are going to be people in this world who won’t see him like you do, who won’t understand