kaleidoscope.my first love was a shade of blue. i was fourteen and he was beautiful, down-turned lips, over-sized hands and a face the shade of indigo, brooding atlantic seas, tumultuous arctic waters, something more than boy. he held a sadness that extended past his armspan and i was in love with the way his eyes held mine like a lifeline. how do you rescue an ocean from drowning? he was night skies full of empty dreams, he was every promise left unfulfilled, he was a quiet rainstorm by my side and i was soaked to the bone trying to pick up his pieces. a shard of turquoise brilliance, his humour, his smile; a jagged fragment of peacock blue, his broad shoulders, marbled limbs, beautiful angles; darkest navy, the glasses of whiskey, the blood on his hands, the deep pulsing depression holding him in etched corners. he sank like a great ship, slowly, and i couldn't help but watch, reaching my hands through antarctic waves to catch glimpses of his wrecked hull, diving into the darkest oceans to try ankaleidoscope.3 weeks ago in Stories & Vignettes
The MeatloafThe Meatloaf5 days ago in Introductions & Chapters
This is a true retelling of an event that occurred a few years ago. You may not want to read this while you're eating or if you're physically ill for some other reason. I've changed the name of the third party for their protection from the obvious mockery that would ensue if anyone they knew were to find out about this story.
Akuoreo and I have lived together for about ten years now, and in that time we've had a number of roommates. Most of them weren't terrible, but a few have done things that led to our decision to never have a roommate ever again. Some of them were actually pretty scary, too, but none of them as genuinely, soul-grippingly terrifying as the tale of Dwight and the Meatloaf.
Anyone who knows us well knows that in the spring of 2007, Aku and I were effectively homeless. For a few months, we lived in a tent in my dad's farm in the middle of nowhere. Eventually, we were offered a slightly better place: A trailer camper, tucked awa
To-Do List: July 201505-07-15 Everywhere she goes she sees her nameTo-Do List: July 20152 weeks ago in Introductions & Chapters
06-07-15 In a constant state of suicide
07-07-15 Not so great at constant self promotion
18-07-15 You give her sensory overload in the best kind of way
21-07-15 It's all just biscuits
How Far I've Come I smile as I jump into my soft and warm bed, finally home from volleyball practice. The first thing I do is pull my laptop out of my school bag, and plug it into the charger by my bed. I opened up my silver and teal chromebook and, after logging in, go straight to DeviantArt.com. The place where I spend any and all my free time.How Far I've Come4 days ago in Stories & Vignettes
Of course, first thing I do is check my notifications, in the same order as I do every time. I smiled when I saw I had a few feedback notifications, and a note; my two favourite things to see. I reply to every kind comment, and thank a couple people for some favourites. I beam every time I see someone enjoying my work. I know I'm not the best writer, but the things people say really make me feel amazing.
I click on the 'Chat' icon and scroll till I find the chatroom where you can find me any day. I smile as I click on "Olivesbar", the one place full of my best friends that could make me laugh on any bad day. As soon as
My Study Blog - Entry 1 - 21/9/2015Well...this is overdue.My Study Blog - Entry 1 - 21/9/20153 weeks ago in Introductions & Chapters
My 5th week here has just started and I'm having difficulty with studying. Not a great start if I am to be honest.
Now I think I should really explain what I am talking about. I am back in the country I was born in order to go to university. England did not provide me with what I wanted to do (at least not cheaply), so I had to relocate to another country on my own. I haven't been here in about 8 years and it really shows, because there are a lot of things I expected to be there, but are actually not.
Granted this is an entirely different city and province from the ones I grew up in, but I, much to my shame, expected everything to similar and that the (very limited) knowledge I had would be enough to help me live here for the next 4 years...oh how wrong I was.
First of all, instead of living in the middle or northern part of the country, which is where my brother and I were born, I now live in the south, like, far south.
Maastricht, which is the name of the city
Raymond and the Ballistic Bottle Brush RocketRaymond and the Ballistic Bottle Brush RocketRaymond and the Ballistic Bottle Brush Rocket1 month ago in Stories & Vignettes
My buddy Raymond and I go out every morning and check on my plants. Most of the time this means he lays on the front steps just inside the front door. I do what needs to be done with the front yard plants and when I unlock the back gate Raymond runs out the front door and into the back yard where he cavorts and plays while I take care of the back yard plants.
The other day was different, when I went down the driveway Raymond leaped off the steps and crouched down between the hibiscus and the bowling ball cactus. There was a cat in his yard. Before I could do or say anything Raymond went dancing into the yard and cut the cat off from the street.
The cat arched its back and bristled up. Raymond stayed just out of reach of the cat and batted at it with his paw. The cat batted back. Raymond batted, danced and stayed out of reach as he moved across in front of the cat. Then Raymond danced backwards all the way to the far conner of the yard and s
PrologueMy life so far has been a pattern of constant tests, failures and struggles. I don't have many happy memories. I don't have hope. I'm not some heroic person who always does the right thing, or the selfless thing. In fact, i can be downright selfish and cold. Perhaps I'm not all that bad. Maybe I'm worse. By the end of my story it'll be up to you to decide. Am I the Hero? Or am I the villain?Prologue3 weeks ago in Introductions & Chapters
I'm not sure where to begin my tale. I could begin with my cruel childhood. My abusive drunk father, my drunk selfish mother. Being poor and homeless and miserable.
I could tell you about my life in Child Protective services. Bouncing from foster family's to group-homes. My anger and depression. My first experience with suicide.
I could tell you the story of my first love. The birth of my first born son. The fighting and the disappointment. The end of all i held dear, again.
You see the problem with living in an eternal cycle is any story in my past i choose to tell will be the same. Love, happines
A Tragic ClicheThere was a time when I could honestly say, I hated you. I hated you for the rage you placed upon my skin; for the river of sadness you baptized me in. I hated you for the seven years of lost tears and the numbness that found its way into my heart. I always considered the emptiness that followed to be our end, our conclusion. Perhaps you did too.A Tragic Cliche1 month ago in Stories & Vignettes
Of course the years passed by, and all things in the world changed until nothing resembled its former self. I imagine this is what happened to you as well. Somewhere along the way you grew old and wise, found kindness and compassion within yourself, and at some point developed a love for life. You began to have a positive effect on the people around you and they loved you for it.
I know this to be true as I watched my sister and my nephews light up in your presence. I know this to be true when I watched them break, but I did not know that person. I wish I had.
Instead I know we will forever remain unsaid, undone. And I know that’s on me,
Looking Down The Bra Straps Of Comics....or The Story Of Samantha-XLooking Down The Bra Straps Of Comics1 month ago in Introductions & Chapters
In mid-2007, a good friend of mine, ‘Poor’ Ted, was busy working on not working at all. He had just quit his job due to stress and politics and elaborately planed on working on his artistic projects that would hopefully lead to successful self-employment.
One of the side projects he got involved in to “starve off reality” was joining up with some friends in a figurine model business. The first of many problems was WHAT to sculpture first. That’s when he called me up and asked if I would let them do a figurine based on one of my current comic characters, Shmuck-O Rat.
I finally sketched out a couple of ideas for the figurine that would rest on top of your computer screen. One was Shmuck-O lying on his stomach, passed out with a large can of beer by his side. The other had him leaning over the corner of your flat PC screen with puke dripping down the side. Ted suggested that we should substitute the puke with a long tongue.
10 additional strange people I've metThere were a lot of leftovers from the strange people I've listed. I thought I'd make another list just to credit the leftovers.10 additional strange people I've met1 month ago in Stories & Vignettes
Number 10: Mario Kart's Spoiled Brat.
This one was very unique, because I didn't meet him in real life, nor on the internet. I met him on Mario Kart. This may seem strange to anyone who's ever played Mario Kart, because you can't even chat with others, so how could you possibly do something weird? Well, this kid "Trevor" found a way anyway. So I was on a lonely server with only three other people. All from England. One of which, was of course, Trevor. The others being "mum" and "dad". (Mum means mom in British English.) Now, this could have been a coincidence. At least, that's what I thought at first. But I quickly realized that these were his real parents and that they were spoiling him rotten. First of all, you would need two Wii Us in order to allow for three people. Due to the fact that each Wii U will only let two people in one of it's Mario Kart servers
About MeHmm... maybe I should give you the reason why I write these crazy and silly journal entries...About Me20 hours ago in Introductions & Chapters
Well first of all, I'm not just going to give out my real name so it's Aoncestru (yeah, I know the name's weird 😝) and I write my silly journal entries to share what's going on in my crazy life. Then I might read it and laugh in the future. I wonder.... HAS ANYONE READ THEM YET?! Well, there's a chance no one's reading this now and all those entries were like me talking to a wall. I still want to post though! I've got nothing better to do anyway!
Soon, I will start writing crossovers mainly from Hetalia! I'm already working on one on Wattpad (username's Aoncestru) and I'm wondering if I should post the chapters here! Beware: I suck at writing stories. And I have a big heart to include too many characters! How's 10 nations going to Hogwarts? If you actually read this and my entries, I would love to hear your opinion Reader-chan!
Let's see... do you want to know more about me? I'm also
I Remember...I remember...I Remember...2 days ago in Stories & Vignettes
My first love.
The first time I saw him.
The first date we ever had.
Our one month.
My first time.
How he kissed my scars and told me not to do it anymore.
The arguments I heard between his mom and older brother.
The comforting kisses when I got scared.
Our first Valentine's Day.
Him coming to my house with flowers on my birthday.
The late night conversations- in person and over the phone.
The smile on his face when he taught me how to paly his video games.
Going out to dinner.
The "I love you"s
When it got bad.
The way my stomach turned when he got angry with me.
The Rise and Fall of Text MMO. IntroductionThe Rise and Fall of Text MMO. (Chapter 1: Introduction)The Rise and Fall of Text MMO. Introduction2 days ago in Introductions & Chapters
My experience on text based MMO games.
Hello there reader, my name is Daniel also known as SavoDan here on deviantart and many other onlines game I have played to this day. You maybe asking, "why is this guy talking about the text based MMO games? those games are boring". If you think that, this experience may change your mind, well at least I hope that happens.
This experience is just that, how I began to be interested on the text based MMO games. As the name says, its just text with only a few pictures on the game, zero graphics. It may sound boring but I will explain as this experience goes on and on, so just sit tight and grab a coffee, it will be a long journey.
First, I love to play MMORPGs, World of Warcraft, Cabal Online, Silkroad Online, Knight Online, Defiance, Rift, Runescape and the list can go on and on, I like to play online especially fantasy or post-apocalyptic MMOs. I had great experiences in those games.
Heart SurgeryDid you know that Jesus can do open-heart surgery without having to cut us open? He did that with me. And I'm talking about actual surgery; I was born with a hole in my heart, either an atrial septal defect or a ventricular septal defect. When doctors listened to my heartbeat, they would hear a wind-like sound rather than beating. By the time I was between three to five years old, I needed to have surgery. Of course, when you're a toddler or infant, these situations don't really scare you because you don’t know what’s going on. In fact, I was excited when I was told that I would be going to a "heart hospital."Heart Surgery5 days ago in Stories & Vignettes
Taped to a machine, the specialists examined me. The hole was still there. With a screen so on I could be distracted TV, they left the room to check something--maybe to run some tests. My grandma, who was sitting near me, silently pleaded with God; she knew how serious heart surgery was--and how dangerous it could be. Soon, the specialists came back in and checked my
Sonic Legends - Season Two, Episode ThreeSonic Legends – Season Two, Episode ThreeSonic Legends - Season Two, Episode Three5 days ago in Introductions & Chapters
Location: Ice Cap, Angel Island, Off the coast of Old Africa
“So can somebody explain to me how the hell this island has a frickin’ mountain region on it?” Sonic exclaimed. Knuckles looked over at Sonic.
“Over the years, as the Master Emerald laid on its shrine, it began to alter the island’s regions. For example, gigantic mushrooms grew at one part of the island, whereas at another, a snowy mountain region formed”, he explained. Sonic then shook his head in disbelief, but grinned while doing so.
“If you say so”, Sonic replied. “Tails, what are you calling this place?” Tails thought about it for a moment, until coming up with a name.
“Ice Cap”, he told them. “Let’s start looking around”. Sonic and Shadow ran off into the mountains, with Rouge once again taking to the sky, and Amy and Tails looking on the ground. Knuckles, however, ran off towards a c
Warmth of Alone I'm finding it hard to write this.Warmth of Alone4 days ago in Stories & Vignettes
And I can't explain why.
The words come easy enough, I mean, I know of most of what I want to say.
Maybe it's just the lack of motivation I've been experiencing. Combined with a strange felling of isolation, it's just put me in a hole I can't even really escape.
I feel angry for some reason. Cold. I'm getting irritated and anxious at my family way too easily now. It's getting harder, I want to say, but I do not know if I can. All I can think is Cold. Cold, cold cold cold and angry and alone.
I stumble myself into the bathroom. Cold, I think, what isn't cold? A shower. Warmth, again.
So that's what I do. I turn on the water, glance a while at my phone. The pixels that make up most of my life. My only source of happiness, at least that's what I've started thinking.
I find myself sitting down after a moment. The sting
When I'll Believe YouWhen you tell me and can proof itWhen I'll Believe You19 hours ago in Introductions & Chapters
That's when I'll believe you
When nothing's proven,
I know nothing
16 Years A Fan Of Thief16 Years A Fan Of Thief1 week ago in Stories & Vignettes
16 Years A Fan Of Thief
(or, a very brief account of my experiences in the Thief Fandom)
I don't want to come off as pretentious by writing this. In telling about my experiences as a fan of the Thief franchise, I hope that I'm shedding some kind of a light on the history of the fandom itself in a broader sense. Don't evaluate this as my history, evaluate it as fan history.
I discovered Thief: The Dark Project in 2000 C.E. The disc came into my possession as part of a software bundle accompanying a new sound card that my father had purchased. Up to that point I was a primitive FPS goon, my beginnings as a PC gamer had been id Software's 'Wolfenstein 3d' and then 'DOOM'. I recently read online that John Romero, in designing those games actually made use of some programming function developed by Looking Glass Studios, which was up and running in those long ago days, who would have thought...
Depression is WeirdJust a minute, Eric, depression is weird. Nevertheless my reflection is sane. But when the disgusting hawks soar and fly, their own depression is always beautiful and insane!Depression is Weird1 month ago in Introductions & Chapters
The Strength of a MasterThe Strength of a Master1 week ago in Stories & Vignettes
My master and mentor in muay thai was a man named Kru Blake Sirisati. He was a master…a monster of muay thai. Though he was a bit shorter than me and not rippling with muscles, his skill and strength were nothing to underestimate. I felt the full weight of a master’s skill one day during training.
“Today we’re doing basic sparing practice.” Blake announced. “You’re going to pair up and spar in intervals for 5 minutes each. No holding back and no restraint! I expect to see you giving it your all like you’re in a real match!” The 7 students all scrambled to grab partners to begin training, but Blake stopped me before I could go.
“Hold on, Fire Fist. I want you to spar with me today.”
“Yessir.” I agreed.
“You have a match in 4 days, so I want you in top form. Don’t hold back alright?” He ordered. I gulped a little. I wouldn’t hold anything back, of course…this was my master!
Tattletale IntroductionTattletale: Confessions of an AutisticTattletale Introduction1 month ago in Introductions & Chapters
Introduction: What Is This Thing Anyway?
This is a sort of message to the world. I have no idea if people will actually understand it, because it seems unlikely at this point. I often wonder if I’m speaking the Uranian dialect of Lunar Jupiterian-Saturnian (The official language of Ganymede) instead of English, when it comes to how people respond to half the things I say. I mean, just now, I said a bunch of random nonsense that most people would interpret as random nonsense that due to my lack of the ability to be truly random, actually has a structure to it, even if I’m the only one who gets it. I mean, I could have just said Cantonese, or Tagalog, or Moonspeak, and you would have gotten the point. But, I decided to do something weird instead. Do you want me to explain it? Do you want me to shut up and get to the point? I’ll do both. If you want to skip the explanation, just skip the next paragraph.
That would be this paragraph.
My first wedgie(Ok so now that I'm doing a real life story that happened before 2014 I will be referred to as Kevin in this story)My first wedgie3 weeks ago in Stories & Vignettes
Ok so this happened when I was around 6 or 7 years old I was playing outside when my big brother and two of his friends came out. Like how most of these stories go my brother Chris walked up to me and asked "Hey Kevin do you want to see something cool?" I nodded and said "Yea!" he then said "Ok turn around" I did so and he reached into my pants and grabbed the back of my underwear at this point his friends started to laugh, but I didn't know what was going on so I just stood there.
A moment later my brother yanked up the back of my briefs and I screamed in pain "Owie this hurts!" (I'm not sure what I was wearing, but I know I had on briefs likely either black, blue, or white that's what I normally wore.) My brother kept pulling and he managed to lift me off the ground and held me in the air. By this point they were all laughing hysterically and I was in tears. Not knowing
Homeless : Reflection by Racing MindNothing I write is ever good enough.Homeless : Reflection by Racing Mind1 month ago in Introductions & Chapters
I struggle with everything possible on a day to day basis.
Or that's what my anxiety tells me.
I'm always doubting myself.. I hate me, I hate who I am. I wonder if every breath I take is a breath well taken, or if even expanding my lungs full of air is worth the bother.
I hate me so much. I hate how I have to have my boyfriend with me 5 out of the 7 days a week, or I lash out. I hate how he makes me feel sometimes. that I'm not good enough. I hate how I can't shorten this all in one line.
I hate that I left school to finish online my senior year. I hate how he doesn't look at me with the same admiration as he once did.. I'm not so special and pure anymore. He doesn't see me the same way. I'm darker and more hateful than I have ever been... The thing is, I
consciously don't want to be this way, so why am I? Why can't someone just fucking help me??
I've had everything up to me since I was so young. I hate it. Why can't anyone else call the shot