Clocktober #4 - Things Tombstones SayClocktober #4 - Things Tombstones Say8 hours ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes
Here's what happened: last year, a local magazine held a contest for their Día De Muertos edition. You had to shoot 'em an e-mail (writing "Death Certificate of YourName" in the subject) filled with as many epitaphs as you pleased. The staff's favorites would be published. I forgot all about it until the deadline, at which point, I improvised some on the fly and sent them for kicks. Several ended up chosen! Read 'em and a some new ones below:
"I saw the light at the end of the road. Had I known it was a train..."
"You'll never believe everything in here, and just for being so skeptic, I ain't telling nothing"
"They actually never found my body. The watchman hides his garbage here"
"Okay, first step done! Now, how do I charge the insurance?"
"Heat here is horrible, but better this than Arizona"
"I can confirm every belief is correct. All of them, but especially atheism"
"Heavy metal isn't actually the devil's music. He's
The RavenThe longest and most depressing knock-knock joke ever told.The Raven20 hours ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes
Chopsticks.For extra credit.Chopsticks.16 hours ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes
Today was the day the three unlikely friends, China, Russia, and Finland were heading off to one of China's many restaurants. The three ate to their hearts content, or more like China and Finland did, eating so much till their stomachs hurt, while Russia ate quietly watching everyone. They had those little conversations here and there, one involving the Freckled Jesus, till it was their time to leave. China had thought it was a good idea to get a pair of chopsticks for each of them, so the other two went along with it. As they walked out of the Chinese Restaurant they poked each other with the chopsticks that they had borrowed. China had ran to the Halloween store, as Finland and Russia followed close behind. Once in the store, China immediately looked around at the new stuff that they had gotten in stock, then grabbed a police hat, and a costume called Naughty Little Prisoner and commented on how Russia had been a naughty one, and needed to learn better, making the l