Writing Tips: Never Assume It's FunnyThere's a very memorable scene in Roger Rabbit where the title character almost randomly breaks out of his handcuffs. When asked why he didn't do it sooner he says that he couldn't do it before because it wasn't funny before. Now Roger Rabbit is a great movie, but that one joke doesn't seem to have aged very well. Since 1989, cartoons have become a lot more story-driven, a lot more in depth, and generally less gag-based. Can you get away with breaking logic or continuity if a joke is funny? Yes. Can you get away with having an asshole in your show who is nothing but a sadist as long as he's funny? Yes. Should you ever, ever do it, especially if you're just getting started writing? Hell fucking no.Writing Tips: Never Assume It's Funny1 day ago in Articles & Interviews More Like This
Let's start with the very, very obvious: if the joke you assumed was funny broke continuity, placed a character out of character, or could destroy the story wasn't funny... then things fall apart. It sounds like common sense, but I can see why some people need to assume that things are funny.
Selfish Desires: Sam DiscoversNina didn't come home one night.Selfish Desires: Sam Discovers1 day ago in Short Stories More Like This
The next morning, as I sat down to eat breakfast, she walked through the door looking a mess, belly bulging further than usual, powdered sugar around her mouth, her hair tangled, and holding on to half a dozen donuts and the tattered remains of the red dress I bought her about twenty pounds ago, destroyed from the inside out.
"What happened last night?" I asked, hoping not to seem pushy, "No call, no text, you seriously had me worried!"
She blushed, "Oh! Sorry, I went out with a bunch of girls from work, and we went to a movie, so I had to turn my phone off. Then we got a little drunk, so none of us could drive back." She walked towards me with an angelic smile, raising a suggestive eyebrow and cradling her heavy, bulging stomach, "I made sure we ordered some pizza, got some ice cream, and I may have..." she pulled me closer, pressing her bulging belly against my chest, groaning at the sudden pressure, "Woomph, I think I ate just a little t
V-Day Extensions: Goldie"That was great!" you giggle.V-Day Extensions: Goldie2 days ago in Short Stories More Like This
Goldie smiles, "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself."
"How did you even manage to get in there?" you ask, "I mean, that's probably the nicest restaurant in this country! You'd have to make reservations months ahead, and not to mention the cost!"
"The owner and I are good friends," Goldie says, "And as for money...The owner of the pizzeria makes enough to spare."
You giggle and sigh contentedly, "I really did enjoy that. That's the best dinner I've ever been taken out to."
"I try," he smiles playfully.
"It's only six PM," you note, checking your phone, "We still have plenty of time to spare."
"And nowhere else to go," he sighs.
"We could always go back to my place," you say, "Curl up and watch a movie. You did promise me some snuggling with my teddy bear, after all."
He grins, "If that's what you want."
~AND SO WE TELEPORT TO YOUR FLAT~
"It's so sad!" you whimper as you watch the TV through your tears.
Oh, of all things you'd picked, it was some rea
Hobo HeartHobo Heart1 day ago in Short Stories More Like This
Badge number : 1025
August 26, 2014
544 NW Tarrant St.
One deceased female age 26 Large entry wound to chest. Heart removed.
"Hey Jason what we got this time?"
"Yeah it's another one." the CSI officer said shaking his head "Same M.O. chest crushed ripped open heart removed. Human heart from previous deceased present at scene."
"How many does this make?" the detective asked
"Are we counting the one at the lake?" Jason inquired.
" No not yet anyway." replied Detective McMahon
"Five then, but there's no way we can deny they are at least connected." Jason said to the detective squinting his eyes.
"Yeah I hear ya, but there was no heart present. It's his calling card there's no way he'd leave out that little detail. This guys sick it's his ritual. They may be connected, but it may be a copy cat. I'm not giving him the credit till I'm sure." The detective pulled out his lucky zippo rubbed it with his finger as he examined the apple engraving on i
Is it Ever Okay to Talk to Yourself? Do you constantly get called "crazy" by your family members and/or people at school? Just for talking to yourself?Is it Ever Okay to Talk to Yourself?1 day ago in Articles & Interviews More Like This
Do you think it's abnormal to talk to yourself out loud as well?
Ever wondering if you're getting bonkers?
The truth is, it is natural to talk to yourself. To me it's a healthy habit. Most artists and authors tend to do those. It can help them with ideas, get to know their own creations, all that. Self-talk can also help you communicate better. How? Well, talking to yourself is like practicing with yourself, of course. Less stuttering and more straightforward talk for future conversations!
This can help you with many things. Making decisions, confirmation and reassurance, self-entertainment, reading and writing skills, etc.
One big thing is that this can help you with loneliness. Do you barel
Russia x Reader - ProposalsThe Russian sighed as he played with the silver band. He would do it, today. He would finally propose to his little sunflower, that much he was sure of. But, the question that continued to linger at the back of his mind was a simple yet annoying one: how?Russia x Reader - Proposals23 hours ago in Short Stories More Like This
He loved (name), of that there was no doubt. Countless times he had made sure (name) knew and he knew that she loved him just as much. As such, he wanted to make this the best day ever. But he wasn’t romantic. He wasn’t as suave as Rodrich, the Austrian, confident as that annoying German, Gilbert, or amorous as Francis, that flashy Frenchman at work. It’s not to say that Ivan had no redeeming points, he just wasn’t very good with the whole ‘lovey-dovey’ thing.
The problems kept increasing and for a moment Ivan actually wondered if he could do it. Who could he turn to? His sister, Katyusha? Maybe Natalia? Ivan had no real friends of his own, so his family were his only option. Then again, neither of
Scare (Rob BenedictXReader)Scare (Rob BenedictXReader)3 days ago in Short Stories More Like This
Jared and Misha left the stage after giving the fans strict orders not to cheer or yell the next time they saw them on the stage. The two had worked everything out to the last detail. You had made the mistake of telling Jensen you got spooked easily and he in turn told Jared and Misha who had to see if it was true or not. So they chose to do it at a convention in Toronto. 40 minutes after they left you were on the stage with Richard and Rob doing the Q&A.
"Hi!" The next female fan chirped stepping up to the mic.
"Hello" Richard hummed as you swung your legs back and forth off the edge of the chair. Rob gave you a raised eyebrow look when he saw you were sitting sideways in the chair and you in return gave him a 'eh' shrug.
"My question is for (Y/n). Who was your favorite to work with out of all the cast?" The fan asked curiously.
"There is a right answer to this just so you know" Richard said looking at you with a smirk.
"Favorite person to work with. Definitely not Rich" You repli
Nutritious EggsThe large coastal city of Slateport was bustling as always, with local residents and tourists from abroad walking the streets of the town, some viewing the sights such as the tall lighthouse to help ships at the expansive Hoenn sea and the Oceanic Museum that displayed exhibits on the hydraulics of water and the ships that traverse them. Others were down by the beach south of the city, watching their children from the shade of large parasols run around with their Pokemon on the sand, while a few were quenching their thirst at the hut on the beach with soda pops.Nutritious Eggs3 days ago in Short Stories More Like This
But the most important feature that was adding to this hustle and bustle was the market, stretching across a huge portion of the city, selling all kinds of exotic wares from all over, ranging from food to furniture. Adults and children alike walked down this paved street, browsing to find a steal, or looking for something new they haven't seen before. After all, the sellers that advertised their goods came from all over, from K
GalaxiesI looked up into the midnight heavens and existence exchanged a gaze with me.Galaxies2 days ago in Emotional More Like This
The New Mall (omorashi/ABDL)The new mall had been in construction for nearly two years, but looking at how massive it was, you'd swear it had been longer than that. It was five stories tall, and housed at least one of every type of store you could possibly imagine (and even a few you probably wouldn't think existed).The New Mall (omorashi/ABDL)1 day ago in Short Stories More Like This
"Wow," Hikaru commented upon stepping out of his car and taking a good look at the building that stood before him.
"I know," said Jason. "It's way bigger than the old one.
"Let's just hope they have good cinnamon buns like the old place." Hikaru grabbed his messenger bag and put it over his shoulder. "Are you sure you don't wanna be padded? I can still diaper you if you lie down in the backseat."
Jason's cheeks turned a light shade of pink. "Hikaru, you know I'd love to, but people might notice."
Hikaru looked down at him with sad puppy dog eyes.
"Aww, come on; Don't give me that look." He put a hand to Hikaru's cheek. "You can diaper me when we get home.
Not For Your SakeGetting to sleep in the Cornerstone base was always a hassle. First, they actually had to get into the base and, with the various teams scattered about all over the world, this was a massive task in and of itself.Not For Your Sake2 days ago in Short Stories More Like This
After a lot of angry messages, threats, and general confusion on who exactly was still missing, the entire team was finally assembled in the base and then came the item sorting, the machine checks, the “where the heck is my hang glider?!” and then--at last--they began to get into bed.
Since the beds were all shoved up against each other, most of them them tended to just crawl up from the foot of the bed but then there were people like Smith, who often stole others beds which caused a lot of ruckus, or people like Strippin who jumped on, scaring the people on either side of him.
By the time everyone was settledand in their correct beds, the sun had long since fallen behind the edge of the earth.
Rythian, who often fell asleep last, lay awake one night
Broken Ground: A Cubone Story - Chapter 2Broken Ground: A Cubone Story - Chapter 23 days ago in Short Stories More Like This
In the dark, cold recesses of a private, metal-clad chamber, a sole figure swore up a storm, slamming his wrinkled fist onto the desk before him. Things definitely weren't going according to plan. He hadn't counted on the beasts transporting his precious project to another place. Worse still, the change in position had weakened his control over the subject's mind. And now, this... Cubone... was trying to break through to his emotions!
Thankfully, the subject wasn't giving in so easily. He still had a chance to salvage everything. It would just require some time. Unfortunately, with the cubone pressing the issue, that was a luxury he didn't have. Begrudgingly, he set the shutdown sequence into motion. He watched as the subject's vision strayed from the cubone, his body suffering severe pain due to the process.
This was quite the gamble for the doctor. He knew fully well that for every shutdown performed in this manner, his subject was less likely to awaken from it. But, given the circum
Law X Reader: New Year's Kiss “Come on Law! It’ll be fun!” You said cheerily, tugging on his zipped up coat with a big grin on your face.Law X Reader: New Year's Kiss9 hours ago in Short Stories More Like This
“_______ really?! Do we have to?” Law groaned in protest, slowly shuffling along, but still slightly resisting against your tugs.
“Yes we do! It’s New Year’s Eve! We’re going to do EVERYTHING!” You sang, gesturing to the festive town square before you.
“Oh god, everything?!” Law complained, looking out at the square you gestured too.
“Yep! Everything~!” You repeated. “So come on Mr. Grumpy Pants! Pleeeaaaase~?” You pleaded, tugging on his sleeve playfully.
Law sighed and rolled his eyes. “Fiiine.”
“Yes!!” You cheered, tugging harshly on his sleeve as you dragged him out towards the center of the island with the biggest smile on you
seventeenI watch her as I bite the skin on my lips. She picks up the cup languidly, fingers brushing against polystyrene. Her eyes drift upwards and she touches her mouth to the lid.seventeen3 days ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
"You know," she puts the cup back down on the tarmac, runs her hands through her dirty hair. "When you're alone for long enough, you start to get this feeling inside. Like your bones are opening and everything inside them is spilling out."
My gaze shifts down towards her hands and she places them in her lap. I notice how the streetlights are tinging everything yellow, flickering every so often, plunging us into complete darkness. It makes me feel like I'm suffocating, but I don't think she realises. I wedge my chin between my knees.
"You've got dirt on your shoes."
In my peripheral vision, I see her eyes sink down to her muddy boots.
"Yeah," she says. "I know."
"Why are we sitting in the middle of the road at two in the morning?"
"Because we can."
I exhale quietly and I can feel the Ju
I ate the Hokage, but I didn't eat Shizune.The village of Konoha was going to throw a big festival that would take place tomorrow. It was one thatI ate the Hokage, but I didn't eat Shizune.17 hours ago in Short Stories More Like This
would promote friendships and unity through all the wars and battles the shinobi system had endured over the
years. Usually people went in pairs to this festival. It was uncommon and rare for someone to go with more
then one person.
Sakura Haruno was decorating the mission room for the festival. "Sakura!" Hinata Hyuga joined Sakura.
"Hi Hinata. I was just getting the mission room nice and pretty for tomorrow." Sakura said. Hinata soon
approached Sakura and held a kunai to her head. "Who are you taking to the festival? Someone blonde?"
Hinata asked. "I was." Sakura said. "I knew it." Hinata was about to drive the kunai right through Sakura's
The door to the mission room further opened and another kunoichi joined them. It was Ino Yamanaka. She had
a vase of flowers in her arms. She hadn't been feeling all that great because she was currently on a strict
diet. Half the days she fe
Akumo the Spider MaidenAkumo the Spider Maiden17 hours ago in Short Stories More Like This
Let thy way be true
Do not wander far
Do not lose sight
Of where you are.
Tis a dangerous path
You choose to take
To be careless
Thy last mistake
The web of doubt
Those trapped within
Turn back soon traveler
Or you shall stay
In the spiders lair
And you the prey
“Well sung, Sam!” The five men sitting around the camp fire applauded their colleague who had just finished singing one of the most celebrated and remembered song among travelers and adventurers. The sky was cloudy and rainy, so the men, who had been traveling for days now, hunting and selling their wages, were now camped inside of a dark and dry cave. Sam beamed and sat down.
“I’ve been hearing that song for years now…it’s such a silly thing, isn’t it?” Sam laughed.
“Ye think so do ye?” Arthur spoke up. He had a sly grin on his face and the others laughed. Sam was too young to be apart of their hunting team…but they’d let him
Amor Fati | Finland x ReaderAmor Fati | Finland x Reader3 days ago in Short Stories More Like This
Amor Fati | Finland x Reader
You try to
You didn't know what was happening with Tino lately. That cute, sweet-speaking, nice Finnish boy of the name Tino Väinämoinen was relentlessly changing into someone you wouldn't ever expect for the Fin to transfigure into.
The way he started talking - cursing, overusing the word 'swag' and yolo, acting as he was better than everyone, fighting with friends for fun and becoming a so said 'skirt-chaser' - it was too much to handle for you. He was just sticking apart, he was going away.
Once you saw him sitting on the bench with a group of stupid boys that, although they were pretty young, they were acting as if they were forty or so years old. They were drinking heavily, smoking and talking about how many girls they had. You actually never heard Tino talking when they started the topic off, but the fact that he was hanging around with such a group rather than a nice group of friends that he just left beside, a
'I don't Belong here...'A soft summer breeze hit Kodan as he stood hovering over the ravine, rustling his hair and vest. He sighed. It was another hot day in Leastrin, but up here the wind made it endurable, almost nice. He could sit down and stay in place for the whole day, and just enjoy the cool breeze- but he had plans.'I don't Belong here...'3 days ago in Short Stories More Like This
He looked down the ravine- it was deep. At least a fourty-block drop down. If he fell, it was over. - Of course, being a spawn he'd just return, but falling to your death and snapping your back didn't seem all too pleasant to him. He sighed again, determinded to get down but not knowing how to. There were no ledges or something he could use to get down.
He'd found the ravine two days before, when he was out with Aro to look for some coal since they had run out. Kodan had insisted he wanted to go down, but Aro wasn't hearing any of it- too risky she had told him, since the ravine was a while out and they were carryng quite some resources at the time. And above of those two- Aro
RQ: Miku the Singing BalloonRQ: Miku the Singing Balloon2 days ago in Short Stories More Like This
Hatsune Miku is a beautiful Vocaloid with long turquoise pigtails. She considers herself as a virtual singing star as millions of her fans admire her.
One day, Miku had a sweet tooth. She noticed a piece of candy of a stool. What was that piece of candy doing there? Did somebody leave it by accident? Or did she simply find it just sitting there? Well it is hers now.
"What is this piece of candy?" Miku picked it up and inspected the delectable looking candy. "I might as well try this one."
Miku then put the candy in her mouth and began to chew on it as if she was chewing on bubblegum.
"This candy tastes great," she said.
Suddenly, it was no ordinary candy; it was a different candy that contained a special ingredient much to her unawareness. She began to inflate like a balloon as the power vested inside the candy aired up her body.
"Why am I getting this big?" Miku watched herself inflating bigger into a spherical shaped balloon.
After she was done inflating, she had her head, cheeks, ha
Legrandzilla Musings #8Many times, we love things and use peopleLegrandzilla Musings #83 days ago in Emotional More Like This
When we ought to use things and love people.
Death Battle: Akihiko Sanada vs Josuke HigashikataDeath Battle: Akihiko Sanada vs Josuke Higashikata2 days ago in Short Stories More Like This
Layne: That’s it! We’ve analyzed the combatants’ weapons, skills, and tactics! Let’s get this fight started!
Xander: It’s time for a DEATH BATTLE!
A young man walked through the streets of Morioh at night, looking around, his head covered by a hood. All he can see are coffins, stood straight up. The sky was dark, bit it was not the usual night sky. Where it should have been a dark blue, it was instead a dark green. Where the moon should have been a pale silver, it was instead an almost golden green. This was the Dark Hour, a mystery hour hidden between the time of midnight and 12:01. The coffins he saw were all those who lacked the ability to remain aware during it. But it was a rare gift indeed.
He was cloaked in a red cloak, and the hood hid his features. His pants and combat boots were well-worn, and a knife was wrapped around his thigh, and a gun holster was on his waist, a silver pistol visible.
A call was heard in the distance.
Camp WichiKitchKoochi (Commission)Camp WichikitchikoochiCamp WichiKitchKoochi (Commission)1 day ago in Short Stories More Like This
This story is a work of fiction. The events portrayed may or may not have happened. There is no sexual or erotic content in this story whatsoever. Any similarity between the characters and any person, living or dead, or existing characters is coincidental and unintentional. The author does not support the maltreatment of anyone, at any time, for any reason (and most especially children) in any way. Dorain © 2015.
Jerry tried to bolt out of his cabin, but Raymond was hot on his heels. The gravel path toward the camp’s fire square was rough on his bare feet, but the twelve-year-old kept running. Not fast enough, though. 16-year-old Raymond scooped him off his feet, tucked him under his arm and marched back to the cabin. The other twelve-year-old boys in the cabin groaned in disappointment when they saw Jerry carried in like a little pig to the slaughter. Of the ten boys Raymond was responsible for, eight
(Drabble) Key (Eren x Reader)(Drabble) Key (Eren x Reader)(Drabble) Key (Eren x Reader)2 days ago in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
x x x
The sun was probably aware of the terrible hangovers across the tristate area, and decided to be kind. It was Saturday and the sun shined through the windows, spilling its honey-golden lights. It was bright, but not annoyingly bright that I'd want to cover it up with a curtain. I was looking up at an unfamiliar ceiling with my squinted eyes. My black dress was stripped off me and instead, I wore an oversized tee that reached my thighs. It was probably the tee that I bring to every party I go to, just in case I sleep over and I don't want to sleep in uncomfortable dresses.
"Right," I thought. "There was a party at Erwin's... He became head of his company and... And I couldn't go home because I was too drunk..."
It was the usual, really. I get so drunk that I can't drive, and there really was no way for me to get home. I stay at Erwin's guest room (or Petra's, or Marco's, depending on where the party was held) and I help clean up after the chaotic part
Micropasta: Out the Door AgainMicropasta: Out the Door AgainMicropasta: Out the Door Again3 days ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
I don't need another friend
Smile and drop the cliché
'Till you think I'm listening
I take just what I came for
Then I'm out the door again
- A Perfect Circle, The Package
I killed my wife. Not because I hated her, or even that I particularly minded that her crying would wake me up five out of seven nights of the week. I just hated what she represented.
Sorry, I guess this deserves some backstory.
My wife was a devoted woman. Why she stuck with me I’ll never know. Maybe she still loved me after all these decades, after all these beatings and fits of anger and broken dishes. But she wouldn’t obey. I needed her to obey.
I’m a bit of a control freak. Everything has to be in order. Everything has to be under my direct influence and authority. I’m the type of man who would slug her for putting the salad bowls next to the soup bowls instead of the top