Dovakin Folk SongПеснь, скайримская народная (разгульная)Dovakin Folk Song15 hours ago in Free Verse More Like This
Исполняется на манер "Рагнар Рыжий"
Жыыыыл да был Довакин, удалой весельчак
Как-то раз укусил его в палец хомяяяк--
WaitersThank youWaiters1 day ago in Free Verse More Like This
whoever invented the monopod.
I no longer have
to do stuff
on my job description.
Dog WhispererI wantDog Whisperer1 day ago in Free Verse More Like This
to whisper sweet nothings
to my dog.
Multi-taskingI hate itMulti-tasking1 day ago in Free Verse More Like This
when they separate
the shower and toilet
into two comfort rooms.
to have the option
and take a shit
at the same time
when time is
of the utmost essence.
A Guide to Falling Downstairs1.A Guide to Falling Downstairs1 day ago in Free Verse More Like This
Wear fuzzy socks.
Traction is out of style,
but comfort is in,
so slip with cozy feet.
Try to choose a step
about halfway down
to ensure your fall is legitimate.
for maximum impact
and to avoid killing yourself.
This allows for choice
swear utterance at maximum volume,
as your body will not
be in the way,
If the wind is knocked out of you,
garbled choking noises
will suffice in a pinch.
Hit each stair on the way down.
It makes a pleasant percussive rhythm
that will be the only enjoyable part
of your journey.
This also ensures that
you will have a body-length bruise
to complain about.
Once at the bottom,
remain motionless for a while.
This give you time to reflect
on your relationship with gravity
and ask yourself
"What the hell just happened?
Did I break anything?"
Look for sympathy from bystanders,
realize closest bystanders are dogs
and they are more interested in dinner
that your mother is serving.
Accept help up.
Contemplate possibly broken
A crappy poem for not crappy people =DForgive the tearsA crappy poem for not crappy people =D1 day ago in Free Verse More Like This
That streak my face
For it will take years
To mend the place
You all have in my heart
For it's impossible to part.
From the lunch table at the start
To the hallway in the end
But c'mon now lets not start a trend
This ISNT the end.
The clan will live on forever
In our hearts
we will always be friends
The tree of the Traz
The man named Henry
The obsession for cats
Being overly friendly
The Bike Guy's bikes
The Shoe Man's van
The Bike Guys coming
Kids, bike as fast as you can!
That one thief at Starbucks
Or that dude in the alley
He tried to get in my car
Crap, the car is tipping, his fat will be my fatality!
We built a website
It quickly turned sour
But if you think about it, it brought us together
And together we stay in our final hour
So many jokes and experiences
I have made with all of you
Those times were the best, so lets make some more
I PROMISE I will see you all soon
Those drawings at lunch?
That shiz was hilarious!
The immature concepts and derp f
The birthday poem of fabulousnessWho's the bro of bros?The birthday poem of fabulousness1 day ago in Free Verse More Like This
Says bros before hoes?
Makes us laugh 'til we die
Who's the number one?
(my anaconda don't)
That son of a gun
(my anaconda don't)
Always a barrel of fun
(my anaconda don't want none)
Can't be outdone
(unless you got buns hun)
Octodad is a Dadliest Catch
Pewds and Marzia are a perfect match
When Octodad goes on a date
It's a total disaster, mate
Unstoppable just like Delsin Rowe
That's our Poods, the number one bro
Don't deny he's an ace
Unless you'd like a brofist in the face
P to the E to the W to the D to the S
It's Pewds, the master of ducks
Red bird secret, everyone knows that place, right?
That's what I thought, so don't pick a fight
Happy birthday to you now, Pewds
and thanks for always making me smile
Was my day bad or good,
you're always worth my while
You're always there for us
and we'll be there for you
That, if something, is true
Easily scared and yet so amusing,
we love you, Pewds, don't change a thing
Ode to CarbonOde to Carbon1 day ago in Free Verse More Like This
You are my favourite element, C?
Four bonds you offer, in strength and security
There is no element that you, carbon, will not embrace
So from the diamond on my ring to my true love's face
You make everything that matters in my life
Your covalent bonds could not be cut with a knife
Stronger than ruby, topaz and quartz
And every organic compounds depends on your supports
For it would not be organic without you, carbon
So much more reactive than neon and argon
If not for this fact, there would be no life
Carbon, I wish to make you my wife
So much more faithful than a human lover
I only want atoms under my bed covers
That collection of atoms may call itself a person
But it's the elements within her that I love for certain
So with this diamond ring I get down on one knee
Giving atoms to atoms. Carbon will you marry me?
Costume CatastropheWho will I be,Costume Catastrophe1 day ago in Free Verse More Like This
I can’t be me.
But can’t be late.
Toilet paper roll,
Full coverage goal.
Better not rain,
Oh, such a pain.
Hair black as night,
Your neck I’ll bite.
Don’t like blood,
Faint, fall in mud.
Can’t look plain,
Maybe eat a Brain.
Can’t rip my clothes,
I might be hosed.
Tease and fluff hair,
Add a little flair.
Idea has to go.
Hair’s a mess.
That is that.
PlaylistPlaylistPlaylist2 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
I have a playlist on my iTunes account
with three and a half hours of songs that, I swear,
you can dance,
or fuck to.
It’s a little bit of a mishmash,
Rise Against and Monoral,
Max Raptor and Voltaire,
and a few pieces from some of my favorite anime.
Seriously, though, have you HEARD “World on Fire”
by Myles Kennedy and Slash?
It sounds like a song written specifically
for a BDSM session,
and I would want you to tie me up and play it
all night long.
From “Bad Girlfriend”
to “Bleed It Out,”
I’m screaming the lyrics like a banshee
without a bucket to carry a tune in.
I’m “Porn Star Dancing” going in the shower
and “The Beautiful People” are howling along with “My Demons” at breakfast.
“I Will Not Bow” nor “Hail to the King”
when I have my tunes running at “1000HP"
to the checkered flag at finish line
of my accomplishments and inspirations,
Eyebrows and sidesSometimes I feel like the left side,Eyebrows and sides2 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
Exactly the same as the right,
Yet somehow less useful,
The right with it's flawless motions
It's quizzical eyebrow raise
Shows distress, judgement, and all associated emotions
The left's eyebrow raise is monstrous
It raises eyebrows on others,
wondering if I had a stroke
or just forgot how to wink
Maledificent candy applesMaledificent candy apples2 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
MALEFICENT CANDY APPLES
-3 Granny Smith Apples
-1 Apple Sticks (Link http://amzn.to/1u0NkVA)
-11 oz Caramel (http://amzn.to/1wAeEMH)
-1 Tbsp. Water
-5 Cups Rice Krispies (http://amzn.to/1yzyY5o)
-10 oz. Mini Marshmallows (http://amzn.to/1xP2BfQ)
-3 Tbsp. Butter
-1 Black Candy Melts (http://amzn.to/1trdarb)
-1 Green Candy Melts (http://amzn.to/1wAgkpx)
-1 Buttercream Icing (http://amzn.to/1yzAN2b)
-1 Purple Food Coloring (http://amzn.to/1r30uzu)
-1 Purple Sugar Sprinkles (http://amzn.to/1v8PG8Z)
(NERDY NUMMIES MAKES A STEP BY STEP TUTORIAL)
Link : ----> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIYZxd8yeJE
* (1) Pastry Tip Set: http://amzn.to/1p9i3hy
* (1) Mustache Cookie Cutter: http://amzn.to/1wAstLl
* (2) Squeeze Bottles: http://amzn.to/1D9L0Ck
* (1) Wax Paper: http://amzn.to/1tri3R2
Boo PopcornBoo Popcorn2 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
BOO POPCORN BALLS
Boo Popcorn Balls|Halloween Cooking Recipe
-1 bag of kettle corn popcorn bag
-1, 1 pound bag of marshmallows
-Half of bag of white chocolate chips
-Black & pink food paint/icing
-Makes 12 balls of 3inch popcorn balls.
-In a large saucepan, add marshmallows and butter or margarine over low heat, be sure to keep stirring until ingredients are melted and smooth.
-Then pour over the popcorn while tossing gently to mix well. Let this combination of scrumptious ingredients cool five minutes. Butter your hands well to form 3 inch popcorn balls.
-Now for the yummiest part! Melt white chocolate chips in the microwave or in a pot and then dip the balls into the creamy, melted chocolate!
-Be sure to let the chocolate harden on the popcorn balls and then you can begin decorating by using decorating gel . Add the eyes and mouth like in the photo below. Now, let the festivities begin!
Recipe Link --> http://strawburry17.c
Brain CupcakesBrain Cupcakes2 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
Prep time: 20 mins
Cooking time: 20 mins
Total time: 40 mins
Skill level: Easy peasy
For the cupcakes:
-125g (4½oz) soft margarine
-125g (4½oz) caster sugar
-2 large eggs
-125g (4½oz) self-raising flour
-1tsp vanilla essence
-1 tub creamy vanilla icing (available in large supermarkets)
For the decoration:
-1 tub of vanilla frosting
-Red and black food colouring
-Preheat the oven to 180ºC (350ºF, gas mark 4). Cream the margarine and sugar together until light and fluffy, then beat in the eggs one at time, together with a tablespoon of flour. Add the vanilla essence and fold in the remaining flour.
-Line a bun tin with paper cases and half fill each case with the mixture. Bake in the oven for 20 mins. You can tell they are done when they have risen, are golden in colour and spring back into shape when pressed with your finger.
-Remove and cool on a wire rack.Add the icing sugar to a tub of ready-made vani
Marshmallow cereal shapesMarshmallow cereal shapes2 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
Marshmellow cereal Shapes
-Half a tbsp butter or margarine
-110g white marshmallows
-90g Ricicles or Rice Krispies
-50g desiccated coconut
-Decoration (dried cranberries, currants or blueberries or Honey Loops for eyes and mouth)
-Melt the butter or margarine in a large saucepan over a low heat. Add the marshmallows and stir until completely melted. Remove from heat.
-Add Rice Krispies or Ricicles and stir until well-coated.While the mixture is still warm, shape with wet or greased hands into any desired design (eg ghost) and roll or press coconut onto its surface.
-Attach decorations of choice using a little melted chocolate or prepared icing. If cut, most dried fruit will stick without needing to do this.
-To make flat ghost shapes, flatten mixture onto a greased 33 x 20cm swiss roll baking tray, lined with greaseproof paper, using a greased spatula (the quantity will fill half the tray). Depending on required size, cut mixture into squares or rectangles prior to
Bonfire Treacle ToffeeBonfire Treacle Toffee2 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
Bonfire Treacle Toffee
Prep time: 5 mins
Cooking time: 40 mins
Total time: 45 mins
Skill level: Bit of effort
-350g (12oz) butter or margarine
-225g (8oz) black treacle
-450g (1lb) dark brown sugar
-397g can condensed milk
-Grease a 23 x 30.5cm (9 x 12 inch) baking tin.
-Melt the butter in a non-stick pan. Add the treacle, sugar and milk.
Bring slowly to the boil and simmer for 35-40 minutes, stirring constantly to a temperature of 132°C (270°F), using a sugar thermometer.
-Pour into the tin. Chill until set, turn out the Bonfire toffee and break into pieces using a rolling pin or hammer.
By Carnation Condensed Milk
Read more at http://www.goodtoknow.co.uk/recipes/504435/treacle-toffee#yI0JpaY1vLruXEXL.99
Blood Bath CocktailBlood Bath Cocktail2 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
Blood Bath Cocktail
CONTAINS ALCOHOL !
-100ml pomegranate juice
-50ml vodka (can use without it)
-Dash of raspberry syrup
-Dash of lemon juice
-Mix the pomegranate juice, vodka, raspberry syrup and lemon juice in a cocktail shaker. Shake well.
-Serve chilled in a martini glass or poured over ice.
Read more at http://www.goodtoknow.co.uk/recipes/148731/Blood-bath-cocktail#s0X2lEuQI59JXI3S.99
Nutty Toffee AppleNutty Toffee Apple2 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
Nutty Toffe Apples
-6 red dessert apples
-Vegetable oil, for greasing
-350g (12oz) granulated sugar
-50g (1¾ oz) flaked almonds
-Oil a baking sheet and push a lolly stick (or trimmed chopstick) into each apple at the stalk end.
-Melt the granulated sugar in a medium-sized pan over a medium heat. As it begins to melt, gently swirl it around the pan.
Once all the sugar has melted, carefully tip in the almonds and combine, again by swirling the pan. Remove from the heat.
Dip the apples into the caramel one at a time, turning them to ensure they are well coated. Leave them to cool for a few minutes on the prepared baking sheet, then transfer to a platter and serve.
Read more at http://www.goodtoknow.co.uk/recipes/137511/Nutty-toffee-apples#qod8ZA50Ikl4B92G.99
No FlossI feel a great lossNo Floss2 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
without my floss
Not so clean
I see green
I brush and brush
in such a rush
not too much to waste
I can't find my floss
I got fired by my boss
Such bad breath
eewwww.. I smell death!
Where is my floss?
There is no floss.
KamikazeArbitrary attempts,Kamikaze2 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
Of eradication fail.
You are the b
Of my existence!
I thought that I,
D of you.
So many methods,
to my M a d n e s s.
Fruit in a jar,
Juice in a bottle,
Ziplocs... a pleanty,
Or so it seemed.
What a joke.
You lash out your,
s upon me!
Boiling water and bleach,
go down the d
Old Mule and the MermaidOnce upon a time, there lived an old MuleOld Mule and the Mermaid3 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
down by the dA sea in a bamboo shack
on the beach under the coconut trees.
He and his old Cats were enjoying
their golden years wild and free
as their old bones would let them.
Eating and sleeping away their days
in sweet lethargy.
Come sunset old Mule would go out on his dock
and fish for comments and rhymes for his Cats.
Watching the changeable moon and circling stars
he would listen to the wind and the waves.
Some nights were all too quiet with no bites at all,
the shy nibblers stealthily stealing his bait,
he would just sit and dream.
Other nights the comments were jumping
right on to the dock. There would be buckets
full of rhymes for his old Cats!
And on special nights by the light of the moon
mermaids would swim by and sing him songs
about treasures in the depths of the dA sea.
Flirtatious creatures they were,
trying to lure him in and steal away his catch.
But old Mule was wiser than that,
his ancestor once knew the Queen of Faeries!