The birthday poem of fabulousnessWho's the bro of bros?The birthday poem of fabulousness1 week ago in Free Verse More Like This
Says bros before hoes?
Makes us laugh 'til we die
Who's the number one?
(my anaconda don't)
That son of a gun
(my anaconda don't)
Always a barrel of fun
(my anaconda don't want none)
Can't be outdone
(unless you got buns hun)
Octodad is a Dadliest Catch
Pewds and Marzia are a perfect match
When Octodad goes on a date
It's a total disaster, mate
Unstoppable just like Delsin Rowe
That's our Poods, the number one bro
Don't deny he's an ace
Unless you'd like a brofist in the face
P to the E to the W to the D to the S
It's Pewds, the master of ducks
Red bird secret, everyone knows that place, right?
That's what I thought, so don't pick a fight
Happy birthday to you now, Pewds
and thanks for always making me smile
Was my day bad or good,
you're always worth my while
You're always there for us
and we'll be there for you
That, if something, is true
Easily scared and yet so amusing,
we love you, Pewds, don't change a thing
InsomniaGrey dawn through the window slitheringInsomnia2 weeks ago in Free Verse More Like This
Brain recycling, maundering, blithering
Craving oblivion, stubbornly dithering
Clock-face blurs... hope now withering.
O what a conversation!I started:O what a conversation!3 weeks ago in Free Verse More Like This
"Ogres ogling octopi ought to be ostracized!"
"On the other hand, ogres ogling octopi offer optimal optical opportunities for ogres."
"Of course, ogres ogling octopi ordinarily offends observers overseas."
"Oh, come on!"
"On my honor. Ogres ogling octopi in Okinawa offends Okinawans by obviating ocular objectives
that would ordinarily offer opportunities for objective observation, thereby obliterating ongoing efforts
to observe octopi in an otherwise optimal oceanic opera."
"Therefore, ogres ogling octopi in Okinawa only serves to offend octopi-obsessed Okinawans."
"Ouch indeed. Okinawan officials thus object to ogres ogling octopi, particularly in the month of October."
"Okinawan shores are officially off-limits to ogres in October, whether they be ogling octopi, orbiting phenomena, or other objects of interest to ogres or their ogre offspring."
"Sucks to be an ogre in Okinawa in October, eh?
Care PackageTo wish you happy birthday, friendCare Package1 week ago in Free Verse More Like This
I stuffed an envelope to send
With in-jokes, hugs, a kiss or two,
The things that I adore in you.
The songs we share and sing aloud,
The compliments that made me proud,
The times you’ve made me laugh and cry,
The way the hours with you sail by,
The conversations late at night,
The wonders that we jointly write
In escalating inspiration
And joy in our collaboration…
Adventures that we daydream of,
Understanding, trust, and love.
Alas, but I was doomed to fail —
It simply got too large to mail!
A Guide to Falling Downstairs1.A Guide to Falling Downstairs1 week ago in Free Verse More Like This
Wear fuzzy socks.
Traction is out of style,
but comfort is in,
so slip with cozy feet.
Try to choose a step
about halfway down
to ensure your fall is legitimate.
for maximum impact
and to avoid killing yourself.
This allows for choice
swear utterance at maximum volume,
as your body will not
be in the way,
If the wind is knocked out of you,
garbled choking noises
will suffice in a pinch.
Hit each stair on the way down.
It makes a pleasant percussive rhythm
that will be the only enjoyable part
of your journey.
This also ensures that
you will have a body-length bruise
to complain about.
Once at the bottom,
remain motionless for a while.
This give you time to reflect
on your relationship with gravity
and ask yourself
"What the hell just happened?
Did I break anything?"
Look for sympathy from bystanders,
realize closest bystanders are dogs
and they are more interested in dinner
that your mother is serving.
Accept help up.
Contemplate possibly broken
Old Mule and the MermaidOnce upon a time, there lived an old MuleOld Mule and the Mermaid1 week ago in Free Verse More Like This
down by the dA sea in a bamboo shack
on the beach under the coconut trees.
He and his old Cats were enjoying
their golden years wild and free
as their old bones would let them.
Eating and sleeping away their days
in sweet lethargy.
Come sunset old Mule would go out on his dock
and fish for comments and rhymes for his Cats.
Watching the changeable moon and circling stars
he would listen to the wind and the waves.
Some nights were all too quiet with no bites at all,
the shy nibblers stealthily stealing his bait,
he would just sit and dream.
Other nights the comments were jumping
right on to the dock. There would be buckets
full of rhymes for his old Cats!
And on special nights by the light of the moon
mermaids would swim by and sing him songs
about treasures in the depths of the dA sea.
Flirtatious creatures they were,
trying to lure him in and steal away his catch.
But old Mule was wiser than that,
his ancestor once knew the Queen of Faeries!
Not-So-Sweet ToothShe climbed into bed last night and said;Not-So-Sweet Tooth1 month ago in Free Verse More Like This
"these cavities won't go away."
And I thought she meant her teeth,
it was her mouth, but not her pearly whites
it was what lies beneath.
She closed her eyes and spoke with a sigh,
"They crawl through my molars and come out my tongue."
Perish the thought she might rot,
from the guilt and the lies
but from how things are going; she better not.
She took a pill and was still,
"The Dentist said he doesn't want to see me back."
No I don't, she's stabbed me multiple times
it'd take a root canal of her soul to fix her,
not a box full of rhymes.
She took my hand in a silent demand,
"If they all fall out, will you love me with dentures?"
I felt myself involuntarily twitch,
'cause no metaphors of teeth or regrets
would stop her from being a total bitch.
Sweet RevengeSLURP!!Sweet Revenge2 weeks ago in Free Verse More Like This
Layla grimaced when she heard the sound of the large dog lapping up water from its water bowl in the kitchen. She still wasn’t sure why in the whole world Rage would have stolen the ugly mutt at all, let alone brings it to the base they were forced to be living in now. They already had 2 of them if she counted Zolo as a pet along with Chain, the Tentacle beast. Not only was Ruby Red, as Rage called her, big, she had a nasty habit of drooling great big globs of spittle.
Shivering at the thought of that, Layla focused back on her work out. Though the base hasn’t been used for some time, it still had most of the furniture, as well as, workout equipment that was still useable. She was using a box to do leg lifts, when the door to the gym opened up and Rage walked in and looked over at her.
“Hey Layla, how’s the workout going?” He said as her pulled up a chair beside her. Layla made a face as he did, but ignored him and continued to use the box and lift
How To Write A Poem.How To Write A Poem.How To Write A Poem.3 weeks ago in Free Verse More Like This
*Note, this is not suppose to be taken seriously, this is simply for comedic effect.*
Does a poem need to rhyme?
Well if you want allot of free time.
To have that time, you can do some crime,
but not anything too extreme,
because you still need to listen to Clapton and The Cream.
Do what Carlin did and talk the talk.
You won't get locked up for very long,
because you know right from wrong.
You might pay a fine,
which is fine because you just want to drink wine.
If you don't wanna do any time,
then date a girl named Hime,
because you will be part of a loyal family.
You can write the poem on a balcony,
then you can look up and observe the galaxy.
Make sure a poem has a rhythm,
because that's the mission for this system.
You're like a musician,
you try to find the right words in this sheet of this digital paper.
All the cool kids will call you a cool rapper.
Paint a picture in the reader's mind,
like a blind kind cat trying to find a masked man named Mankind.
Or a lov
Funny Halloween (Attention: Black Humour/Satire)!Lightning sparkle through the night.Funny Halloween (Attention: Black Humour/Satire)!4 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
The wind is howling – hissing and crashing.
Bones rise from the graves.
Who wants can cook a little soup.
Dracula and Frankenstein
Break into the blood bank
And swallow a burgundy,
A witch is flying around the house.
She looks like the mother-in-law.
Three black ravens afterwards -
Since that time I do not drink anymore.
Two zombies behind the mortuary
Pull out a dead,
Break open his chest,
Smear ketchup on top of it.
From an old filing cabinet
Comes a terrible stench.
It is a civil servant in decomposition.
We wish a soon recovery.
In deep cellars and archives,
Where until now the rats were sleeping,
An executioner teases a nun.
What a joy! What delight!
The poor souls lament loudly.
A devil is sitting in the sauerkraut.
The fermentation is interrupted now
Because he has smelled of sulphur.
Young and old scorch in the fire.
The fear flows out of all pores.
Moaning prevails and great agony -
And for that you have to pay admiss
Too many shoesShoesToo many shoes3 weeks ago in Free Verse More Like This
I have too many shoes,
or at least I think I do
Honey, do you think so too?
I know now that you love me
I can resist their lure
your love at last
has made me pure
But honey, what about
that last pair of heels so high
that way it is so much
easier kissing you...
DreamerA myriad of opulence may be redeemedDreamer2 weeks ago in Free Verse More Like This
behind the enraptured gaze of one that dreams..
The Boob PoemBoobs make running painfulThe Boob Poem3 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
Boobs make comfort rare.
Boobs make shopping difficult
Boobs make perverts stare.
Boobs gave birth to push up bras
Boobs will weigh you down.
Boobs are such a nuisance
Boobs tend to bounce around
Boobs are very awkward
Boobs give little luck.
Boobs get so much hate these days
Well, that's because they suck.
How dare youHow dare you.How dare you2 weeks ago in Free Verse More Like This
And just who do you think you are?
Going around betraying all your friends?
And for what exactly?
Some ex girlfriend
Who you have talked about everyday to everyone?
Is this how you are honoring our memory?
By dating her?
Need I remind you that she cheated on you?
She was the one you broke up with before dating me?
So why now?
What could she possibly have done to make you get back together?
You know what
Do not come crying to me if she hurts you again
I give you my kindness
And this is how you repay by it?
How dare you
The New President.The New President.The New President.1 month ago in Free Verse More Like This
He did it,
he somehow won the presidency.
Those speeches were all lies,
I know a bad actor when I see one.
How did he do it?
How did the idiot convince so many people about his ideas?
It must be his movies.
Yeah, I think I'm right about that.
Why do some many people like him?
Hes not a politician.
Well, now he is, he is the president.
I guess I better live with it.
I wrote those lines about 3 months ago,
I hoped that he would change, but he hasn't.
He is still an idiot,
still a clown,
still a person who you can't take seriously.
I wonder to myself how the next 4 years will go,
I hope it's not 8 years.
Oh silly me, I forgot to tell you who the new president is.
It's Nicolas Kim Coppola (Nick Cage).
A crappy poem for not crappy people =DForgive the tearsA crappy poem for not crappy people =D1 week ago in Free Verse More Like This
That streak my face
For it will take years
To mend the place
You all have in my heart
For it's impossible to part.
From the lunch table at the start
To the hallway in the end
But c'mon now lets not start a trend
This ISNT the end.
The clan will live on forever
In our hearts
we will always be friends
The tree of the Traz
The man named Henry
The obsession for cats
Being overly friendly
The Bike Guy's bikes
The Shoe Man's van
The Bike Guys coming
Kids, bike as fast as you can!
That one thief at Starbucks
Or that dude in the alley
He tried to get in my car
Crap, the car is tipping, his fat will be my fatality!
We built a website
It quickly turned sour
But if you think about it, it brought us together
And together we stay in our final hour
So many jokes and experiences
I have made with all of you
Those times were the best, so lets make some more
I PROMISE I will see you all soon
Those drawings at lunch?
That shiz was hilarious!
The immature concepts and derp f
No FlossI feel a great lossNo Floss1 week ago in Free Verse More Like This
without my floss
Not so clean
I see green
I brush and brush
in such a rush
not too much to waste
I can't find my floss
I got fired by my boss
Such bad breath
eewwww.. I smell death!
Where is my floss?
There is no floss.
Drunk Poem No. 1 Stupid Little GrasshopperStupid little grasshopperDrunk Poem No. 1 Stupid Little Grasshopper2 weeks ago in Free Verse More Like This
Jumpin’ through the grass
You better get out the way
Or Imma step on yo ass
Stupid little grasshopper
You think you so fly
But I’d be damned if I let you jump that high
Stupid little grasshopper
You ain’t cool
You better slow down you jumpin’ fool
Epic Video Game Rap Battle - Lee Everett vs. BigbyEPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!!!Epic Video Game Rap Battle - Lee Everett vs. Bigby3 weeks ago in Free Verse More Like This
Lee Everett vs. Bigby Wolf!!!
I’m an OG history teacher with a regrettable past
But I can rip through a horde with one arm
And survive a car crash
I’d keep your Trip Trap shut if I were you
Or I’ll have my friend Kenny drop a heavy block on you
You’re a bossy little dog barking up the wrong tree
You’ll have a silver cap in your head when you mess with Lee
You can escape a flood, be a stud, and do other crud
But I won’t lose to a man who slips in a puddle of blood
You’re a criminal, an imbecile, way too over-quizzical
I’m an original, Sheriff Bigby, you can’t beat me I’m invincible
I’ll rip your other arm off like I did Grendel!
You may walk through a swarm unharmed
And save a little girl while unarmed
But with people like you I’ll send your ass down to the Farm
I escaped a farm once
While my friends all became lunch
Debata (piosenkowiersz)Ślimaki myją zęby kartoflemDebata (piosenkowiersz)3 weeks ago in Free Verse More Like This
Nie mają rąk
Wróciły z lasu i znalazły krawat
Pudełko nie podziela ich zdania
Bazgroł na kartce krzyczy
"Gdzie są moje trójkąty?!"
Chińczycy je zjedli.
Sparkles, Snickers, SnakesHis small snake heart was skipping beats,Sparkles, Snickers, Snakes1 month ago in Free Verse More Like This
Dreaming of those ssssssnicker bars,
And then there’s the 90’s Nokia that clearly doesn’t work,
But if it did I’d be all over Snake,
We know who’s here now don’t we, folks?
Donald Duck over there,
Please send some help one way or another,
Because my eyeballs hate me,
I think that I’m about to die.
All day, erry day,
About this I will make no jokes,
What can I say?
I’m one nostalgic little peach.
Parting WordsLive. Laugh. Love.Parting Words3 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
Or, indeeed, None
of The Above.
Costume CatastropheWho will I be,Costume Catastrophe1 week ago in Free Verse More Like This
I can’t be me.
But can’t be late.
Toilet paper roll,
Full coverage goal.
Better not rain,
Oh, such a pain.
Hair black as night,
Your neck I’ll bite.
Don’t like blood,
Faint, fall in mud.
Can’t look plain,
Maybe eat a Brain.
Can’t rip my clothes,
I might be hosed.
Tease and fluff hair,
Add a little flair.
Idea has to go.
Hair’s a mess.
That is that.