RaindropsI am exhausted because writingRaindrops3 weeks ago in Urban & Spoken Word
Exhausts the spirit
The way tornados wear out the wind.
I fall to sleep and my thoughts
Are a bed of pebbles
Soaking up the rain of sentience.
We welter together
—My thoughts and me—
We slip away
With the lazy weather.
Then work comes
With grinding wheels
And coughing machines,
To fill dreamstreets with cold humidity,
With soot and oil and leathery boots.
Further down —far past
The industrial avenues—
Are the coffee vendors with their poppy bagels,
A crowd or two,
Seedy strangers with unmovable expressions,
And a few street girls hustling for sugar
—No doubt to fill their little cups.
A sun-colored cab down
To the docks
That face Hoboken.
My hand to write the river Hudson.
chillfriday night vibes arechill2 weeks ago in Urban & Spoken Word
i am the strobe and
i spin again,
and so you tell me
to bite down --
from my hair
and tell me of
weak and weary:
and darling you are
rattling in the flux.
now you inject
ammunition like heroin and
if that doesn't kill you
then i will and there
you fall and bleed again,
a drink's consolation,
because you are tired.
and if these memories
are "wasting and chill" to you
then i am a greater fool
than you are, squared.
i do not like to touch
those who do not care
enough to realize my fingers
are cold, and have always been.
darling, this world's a church,
but i am no savior.
i would like to speak again
but this music is too loud,
and i have not screamed in ages
so i tell you,
"save the last bullet for me."
YouI forgot how to write for meYou4 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word
Because, deep down, it was always you
You in the laughter and you at my worst
It was you, and at the time, that was all that mattered
I forgot how much you loved me
Drunk on power and high on you
Sobriety kicked in and I'm falling, again
Not in love, but towards the scrapes of what I shattered
ExpectationTelling myself that I'll be fine,Expectation1 month ago in Urban & Spoken Word
every time I felt into the depth of life,
trying to fool myself over,
not knowing it'll never get better.
Excited, cheered, the Christmas is coming,
I grasped my hope, expecting for the better ending.
Such a let down, such a pain,
knowing the hopes all went in vain.
Irritated, annoyed, people never stop their teases,
I kept quiet, waiting for the jokes to be ceased.
I was so foolish, I was so dumb,
letting it to make myself numb.
Frustrated, collapsed, the future seems grim,
I reached out for help, hoping someone help me to fit in.
Such a devil, such a monster,
for being such a prankster.
Betrayed, misdirected, "expecting" doesn't sound appealing anymore.
I kept giving, helping people not to lose hope.
What am I doing? Why am I doing this again?
After knowing this only emphasize my pain?
Finally, I stopped to "give".
I tried to forget what I used to believe.
Maybe this is the point where I go too far.
Since I've been ignoring myself when watching from
SelfishShe goes out and buys clothes with her own money,Selfish1 week ago in Urban & Spoken Word
rows of dresses no longer hidden behind closed curtains.
'It's hurting everyone around you' she's told,
but the cold road of dismissal got old for her
and a desire unfolded to become who she is
instead of succomb to societal boundaries.
She built a foundation of pretty purple walls
and bit her lip for the constant hate she knew was coming,
they keep telling her to stop running but she can't
because selling out to their demands is worse
than being immersed in her way of being identified.
Plenty of times they've lied to her face as if
her crying, pain and going insane is not enough for them;
as if she's nothing and her posessions deserve flames
that ignite the words she uses to describe herself.
Her health is tied to this very feeling she has
with a ribbon to stop others from peeling it away.
They say 'she only cares about herself', but she knows the truth.
That even if she hits the roof, they're going to try to pull her down.
thoughts The thoughts run rapid.thoughts 2 weeks ago in Urban & Spoken Word
They take my sleep.
They take my peace.
I thinks these thoughts for no reason.
They come unexpected.
They drive me insane.
These thoughts are painful.
They make my head pound.
They make my eyes burn with tears.
I can't help these thoughts.
They keep me awake.
They keep me from talking.
I hate these thoughts.
They make my body shake.
They make me temple.
I am terefied to think.
They bring in ideas of things I shouldn't do.
They remind me of the things I have done.
These thoughts control me.
They pull the strings.
They place the blame.
These thoughts are what will kill me.
They hold the power.
They are death on thier own.
Love isLove is.Love is1 month ago in Urban & Spoken Word
Love is many things.
It brings joy.
It brings completion.
But to some, it brings something else.
It brings pain.
It brings sorrow.
It brings envy.
As you look at those in love.
You find that it is something you cannot have.
Loneliness: The void inside you. Have you ever felt so… alone?Loneliness: The void inside you.2 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word
Not alone as in you don't have anyone to talk to, but alone as in empty and forgotten? You feel numb, and hollow, like nothing matters anymore. Like a bone-chilling sort of emptiness has a hold on you. It's icy fingers laced around your very being, consuming you till there's nothing left...
You could just lay there for hours, staring at nothing but it hurts so much. The feeling of true loneliness is sickening, in both your head and your stomach. Your mind starts to wonder, your chest constricts, and the tears start to run down your face before you know what's happening... You don't even know why your crying... You just are, because you feel like It's all you can do.
Before you know it, everything just stops. The tears dry up the sobs quieten down and subside, and you are left with nothing but a dull ache in your entire body.... And you just stare at the wall, contemplating what your existence truly means, and you come to the conclusion that
Vent“Be yourself” you saidVent2 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word
In a voice that hit me direct
But how can you say that
While you shun my interests?
“Don’t bottle your feelings up”
You say to “help”
But you’ve never ever listened
So I instead just shut up.
“I’ll always love you” you cooed
Stroking my tears away
But then you spoil him
And yell at me the next day.
You nod your head quietly
In reply to my fandom-centric ideas
But did you know that it feels like
You’re telling me you don’t care?
“You deserve better…” you choked
Sobbing besides my bed
Are you sure that it’s not you
Who deserved the right of rest?
I’m probably mental
Or so I tell myself
As I look in the mirror
With bottles of emotions on my shelf
You probably cry over me
But why do I deserve that?
You deserve a sweeter girl
Not a lazy little brat
I doubt anyone cares
I don’t think I even do
Who cares about the girl
With her pessimistic attitude?
She'sShe's2 weeks ago in Urban & Spoken Word
Tied down and through
Too stubborn to give in
Been waiting for the right minute
Committed to the mission
Abolition in its physical form
Stormy-eyed and determined to fly
Why we resist and finally Fierce
Pierced these chains
Veins under skin trying to break out
About to burst
Cursed to never feel freedom or what the idea was
Abuzz with deafening sound filling her mind
Blinded by pain because the ropes were too tight
Alright, sort of, now that the truth is known
Only been dreaming this whole time
Crying because it’s too hard to swallow –
This whole time she’s actually been hollow.
Invisible....obliviousYou're obliviousInvisible....oblivious3 weeks ago in Urban & Spoken Word
I'm the exploding nuclear bomb, firing up the night sky
You're swimming underwater, wondering why the hell it isn't dark anymore
I'm the riot of a thousand voices demanding your attention
You're listening to the weather report, turning up the volume to drown me out
I'm the breaking news, the head on car crash that everybody's talking about
You're complaining about the dust on your windscreen
I'm the blood and the guts
You're the body bag
Let's GoLets go then, you and ILet's Go3 weeks ago in Urban & Spoken Word
Across foreign lands we will fly.
Look, Believer, the town that never loved us,
They're left behind in our cloud of dust.
Let's go then, you and I,
Hush now Believer don't you cry.
Now I don't know the demons you knew,
but I'm trying to forget the one I met too.
Let's go then, you and I
Listen now, I won't tell a lie.
My nose and feet are running as we go,
together through the snow.
Let's go then, you and I
Back the bed our bodies lie.
Back to the town that spits in our face
Come now, Believer leave no trace.
Let's go then, you and I
To our father's gate, my, my...
He looks at you with a golden stare
Believer, you are now in His care
Go then, you
Go to the home you never knew.
Fly away in the cloud of green,
To your beautiful destiny- one you haven't seen.
Go then I,
I have been disqualified.
At first I was tempted by a rose,
Next I was taken to where the silent grows.
Go then I,
I'll remain down below
No, Believer please do not follow.
Alone.I come up to you, I ask youAlone.3 weeks ago in Urban & Spoken Word
Every time, you answer with
"Yes. Do you think I care about your misery?"
I walk away to find another friend.
"Want to hang out?" I ask.
"No, I'm doing a... certain task,"
Then they log out, putting on their sleeping mask.
I walk away to find another friend.
"Care to play a game?"
"Haha, no! That's super lame."
I walk away, telling myself "I should've known."
"I'm annoying, no wonder why I'm always alone."
Graveyard AlibiI live on a forgotten stage behind the faded redGraveyard Alibi2 weeks ago in Urban & Spoken Word
I sigh a lonely, crippled sigh, for it shan’t rise again
No one remembers this paper face; I’m hidden in the crowd
And buried by the music and the fan-base screaming loud
I was once like Miku.
I live inside a fairytale with all who know my name
But little fabricated lies are all that they can claim
I headphone act in outer science on yuukei yesterday
But still this lost time memory will linger on the stage
I was once like Kaito.
I live beneath their rioting screams that ring throughout the night
The rattling of crippled bones keep tingling with fright
And in this graveyard alibi, I notice now a voice
Who hides beneath the rioting cheers with me, I see, by choice
I was once a Kagamine.
I live now as the forgotten; The forgotten live as me:
Meiko, Gakupo, Teto, Ritsu, Luka, Galaco, V-Flower, Oliver, Yohioloid
Sonika, Avanna, Maika, Miki, Yuki, Kiyoteru, Iroha, Yukari, Zunko
Aoki, Luo, Merli, Anon, Kanon, Mayu, Neru, Gumi, Lily,
Life EntriesOneLife Entries10 hours ago in Urban & Spoken Word
Today I felt like a ghost
Today I've been bullied
Today I felt alone
Today I couldn't stop crying
Five, six, seven, eight...
They kept adding on
BullyYou think that you're funny.Bully1 day ago in Urban & Spoken Word
You think that it's great to ruin peoples lives.
So what if they ran away crying?
At least you're popular now.
So what if they cut themselves?
At least you're happy.
So what if they commit suicide?
So what if their family mourns over their grave?
So what if you're the cause of their death?
At least you got a bloody good laugh out of it.
Surrounded by your so-called 'friends'.
People who only like you for being a bitch.
Do you think that they can help being short?
Do you think that beauty matters?
Do you think that they should die just because they disagree with you?
You like someone of the same sex? Go and die!
You have an opinion? Go and die!
You have respect for others? Go and die!
You like different things from me? Go and die!
That's the logic of a bully.
Pharaoh HeightMy paradise ain't a pair of dicePharaoh Height13 hours ago in Urban & Spoken Word
I'm not the type to land on despair or nice
I'm the type to try to fly for my pharaoh height
I took the red pill twice, check my fahrenheit
I'm the one twice over nigga, so don't look down
Back to back, you Meek Mills better look now
No daps and pounds, you niggas ain't off the hook now
I'm off the ground, ain't no getting overlooked now
All I needed was someone to hold me down
Who would've thought that you would literally hold me down?
I used to constipate, now it's all coming out
Diarrhea flow, here you can hold this now
Cause you used to shit on me
Back when my worth was just a mystery
So I'ma make a masterpiece out of misery
And shit it all out bigger than the state of Missouri
I refuse to trade in my freedom for whips and chains
Fuck February, cause everyday is history
And those 400 years don't mean shit today
I'm not your nigger, your nigga or your friend
You see the blood of a slave but I've got the heart of a king
Allow myself to reintroduce mys
The Frown Behind The SmileEveryone though she was perfect,The Frown Behind The Smile3 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word
that she had it all, even a perfect life.
But that was all they could see because,
she never showed her true pain to the world.
She kept her emotions inside of her,
not daring to let them free for whatever reason.
Everyday she forced herself to smile,
if she frowns everyone would pity her.
She didn't want no one's pity or concern,
that's what she always believed.
"I rather have my emotions destroy me,
than the monster that lurk on earth"
What were those monsters she said?
They are mostly known as humans.
Not all of them are bad, some are nice,
but the rest are just monster waiting for their prey.
She never cried, its not like she didn't want to,
its just that she can't, she is not allowed.
"Crying is a sing of weakness, you can't cry,
only if someone of the family died you can cry."
That's what her mother always said, but even in
the funerals she didn't cry, only on one special funeral she did.
UntitledAm I considered fat because my thighs are touching each other?Untitled3 weeks ago in Urban & Spoken Word
Is it because of the way certain parts wiggle as I walk?
Maybe it's due to my curves or ''rolls''.
Should I change my eating habits - starve just to physically appease to you?
Go on an extreme diet binge and force myself to lose the weight?
Must be hard for a woman of my size to intimidate you..
You look at me and you see a woman who is thick and say I have too much weight.
You get no further than the cover of the book before you judge what is inside.
And while you look at me and suggest I ''lose a few''.
I can't help but think how hard it must be- being you.
Not because of the size of your waist, nor the cup of your bra or the space between your thighs.
But the mentality you keep to judge another, based upon the way that her shirt or her pants hug her.
Aside from those points, even thick I am happier than you.
Yes my thighs touch and certain parts wiggle as I move.
In my eyes I am perfect, every mark, scar and pound.
I was Only ThirteenMy mom and I were sitting on my bed one eveningI was Only Thirteen2 weeks ago in Urban & Spoken Word
And I remember being so scared
All I could think was... would she still love me?
I remember thinking
Why is it that kids have to be afraid?
Why is it that kids have to be afraid that their parents won't love them?
I was only thirteen.
So why was I afraid?
I remember squirming in my seat as she stared at me, waiting for an answer.
I looked at her
And when I came out to my mother, do you know what she said to me?
She said "wow" and left the room.
Now my thoughts started reeling
Because I didn't know what "wow" meant
I was hoping that maybe she'd hug me
Tell me she loved me
She left me and my thoughts to spend some time alone
Maybe she didn't know that was a bad idea
Maybe she didn't know that I cried myself to sleep that night because I thought she didn't love me anymore
Maybe she didn't know I started thinking I was worthless
And maybe she didn't know I was already depressed
Because I was only thirteen.
I remember the next day I sta
StrongI am still fighting the ocean of sadness with its waves of misery eroding my cliffs on which I stand. When the battle was waged, it was a surprise attack, I did not have time fortify myself as the waves came crashing down. The waves took chunks of my happiness, after the first siege I had to collect myself and see the damage. I was horrified at what I saw, I tried to work fast before the next onslaught of negativity, but still I was unprepared. Only this time the waves took less. I was able to fortify myself again, only stronger. There were times where the waves turned into tsunamis and crashed upon my shores, but I survived and only got stronger. This is a war that will never end, for the waves can never stop, for as the moon pulls the tides, the negativity pulls the tides of despair. I will not give in to the madness that this ocean dwells upon, I can only make myself stronger. My friends keep my resolve immortal, and for that I am here to stand strong.Strong3 weeks ago in Urban & Spoken Word
Seeking the TruthSometimes I really wish that I was crazy, just so I could prove everybody wrong. To say that I was going insane and you all mocked me for something that I really am. But there are the times that I pray I’m not for the fear of losing my senses. Because the truth is, I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m really seeing things or if it’s all part of a dream. If I’m really feeling the things I do in this crazy world or just imagining it. If the voices in my head are real or made up. Or if the struggles I go through day to day are just in my head. I mean, that’s what people tell me. But, what if they really are there in my head? What if I’m not making it up and there really is something there? These voices telling me things and making see pictures I don’t want to see. Making me fear a blade for the fear of stabbing myself, because that’s all I see when I hold one. &Seeking the Truth1 month ago in Urban & Spoken Word
End of RelationshipOur relationship as lovers had came to an end, I never thought that this is the end of you and me, lovers as one, I thought that we were going to be together forever as we planned.End of Relationship2 weeks ago in Urban & Spoken Word
I never thought it was time......
I thought you were mine.......
Now that you're out of my life, the sun don't shine.........