From a distance.....From a distance I may seem rube or quiet...From a distance you may see a girl who is alone and not social. However if you get to know me you soon learn that I have be so hurt in the past. I have been used, hurt and bullied.From a distance.....2 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
People keep judging me, saying so cruel words:
Why don't you wear makeup? Don't you know that makes you pretty?
What are you wearing?! You look like a boy!
Why can't you never speak correctly?
You write? ha! A person like you cannot write?
You want to do that as a job, pff yeah right!
They are all so cruel....
This is why I keep alone if I am alone I cannot get hurt. If I am alone no one will ever betray my trust like so many have. I may seem distant in the corner taping away.
I am often in my own world lost in the words I write. I am so creative, I may not be as "talented" or "gifted" as some people but I enjoy it.
I am who I chose to be, why can't they see that?!
Stop telling me what I should and shouldn't do!
I am drowning, stop it!
I can't and won't listen.
This is my world, my safe havenI sit here in my cold, dark, lonely roomThis is my world, my safe haven2 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Only my thoughts, my words and my heart
I can't stop my mind racing... even at this late hour.
The time ticks by, moment by moment
Minute by minute, hour by hour
The music serves as my small distraction
The sounds bouncing and beating off the walls, and off my soul
The soft whir of the computer barely audible but forever there
The lights all dark, my screens shine on
The outside world shut out, never to be let in
This is my world, my safe haven
Here is where my thoughts can soar
My words can flow like rivers leading to nowhere
Into an ocean lost among the white noise of life
My heart can cry, the soft light tears of blood
As my soul slowly rips itself in two
Not even the slowly cooling coffee
Eases the maddening shroud
It dulls the pain but heightens my awareness of it
Knowing that the final crash is coming
And soon my heavy eyes will fall
This is my world, my safe haven
DreamShe’s a true-hearted dreamerDream1 day ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
gazing across the world
with eyes filled with wonder
at the scenes and stories unheard,
and as she sitting there
watching life pass on by,
you step up behind her
and point her towards the sky.
Passing OnAs you passed on, my tears flowed out,Passing On11 hours ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
The sorrow I feel, depressed my life,
For I will always remember how kind you were to me,
Even though we lived far apart,
Please rest in peace, that your in heaven,
And wait for me there, and join you in a celebration of reuniting.
I will always remember you and never forget,
There's a time in life, when your heart will be broken, A time will pass away,
Shed no tears, don't cry, cause time has set its course, for those who live to die in their time.
Khoda sabooreمیگن خدا صبوره...Khoda saboore2 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
یکی بگه هی خدا...
جوونیش لب گوره !
صبر تو و عمر من
یجا با هم نمیشه
یا تو عجول تر بشو
یا زمان کمی کند بشه !
FallenFalling..Fallen3 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Sitting up in a weakly lit cold room, listening to softer songs,
I start to think of memories and how it's been so long..
Remember that night we sledded til' we saw the morning rise?
Remember when we talked that girl out of her suicide?
Remember when we made a film that was shown to the whole class?
Remember when we 'ruled the world', making dumb laws as we laugh?
Remember when we saw 'big foot' as we ventured through the woods?
Remember when we laughed at those who said, "We did what we could"?
Remember when I had the guts to talk to that huge crowd?
Remember when I achieved that thing and you guys were so damn proud?
Remember when they said that I was gifted in that type of thing?
Remember when we used to stay up until five in the morning just to sing?
I watch as the sunset fully go away, the memories hit me like a wave of pain,
I'm starting to sit here feeling like a slow car that's in the fast lane.
But it's not like I wanted the night to end like this!
I never wanted to
Hear me, shutting your ears won't help anyoneYou know how they say a woman who cuts her hairHear me, shutting your ears won't help anyone2 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Is about to change her life?
Well I guess that’s kind of true
‘Cause when I cut my hair short,
I also started cutting myself.
Yes I said it,
Such a taboo subject isn’t it?
But we can’t learn,
If we refuse to speak of the things that frighten us.
That "choice" affected my life in a lot of ways:
Obvious things like I couldn’t wear short shorts
Because my thighs were covered with gashes
opening into my fat tissue.
But also small things like
I used to love long hot showers…
Well I had to rethink that love
When showering stung in the cuts.
You might ask
If you were able to cut wounds that bad into your own skin,
Why would stinging showers matter?
Let me try to explain:
You like to get drunk on Friday nights don’t you?
Does that mean you would like to be drunk all the time?
If you answered “yes” right now in your head,
I’ve got news for you:
You have a problem too.
If you answered "no"
15 SecondsFifteen seconds until my last breath15 Seconds16 hours ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
I do not fear, but instead welcome death
Let my soul leave from Earth's hold
and drift above to Heaven's gates of gold
Fourteen seconds until the end of my days
You cannot escape the dead man's gaze
Try as you might
to stay out of sight,
but we know you are weakest in the dead of night
Thirteen seconds till I make the jump
My lifeless shell will hit the floor with a thump
My body will be found at dawn,
the picture of how I end has been drawn
Twelve more seconds my life will last
My spell of mourning will soon be cast
No one will ever remember my name
My insignificance in this world is what I will blame
Eleven seconds until in my flesh the blade goes deep
As my candle of life is snuffed out, I'll make not a peep
Ten seconds will it take for my life to end,
I'm ashamed to have ever even called you a "friend"
You've no concept of honesty or truth
Your lies have stolen my youth
In nine seconds will I pull the trigger,
all I've done is help y
SmileCan't you see it?Smile18 hours ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
The world on my shoulders
But i'll smile
As i'm standing on my tippy-toes
to reach the bar too far above my head
set for me by everyone
and their expectations
and i'm crying
But i'll smile
and as i'm slippng
and everything hits the ground
as i'm dying
with nobody else around
through the tears and through the pain
I'll just smile
time and time again.
I don't want anyone to worry
so I'll hold it in
bottled up inside.
Though my mask may be breaking
and my disguise might be fading
I'll keep on smiling
save me before I fall apartSave me before I fall apartsave me before I fall apart1 day ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Sometimes, all you can do is sit back and watch your world collapse
Please don't go, I need you here
Please don't go, I can't move on
What happened to the life we shared?
I'm sorry that I broke you
made you think I didn't care
For all the times you thought that I wasn't there
Perhaps, I deserve this
Loss of drive
Loss of control
Just want to die
I know you feel the same
I won't put my burden on you
I keep my scars on the inside
But in doing so
You fail to notice me
Don't you worry
I'll be alright
I'll still be here when you wake up
I'll always be
Right by your side
Are all I can offer
A love can't grow without taking from you
Let it go
It doesn't show
Watch the destruction left behind
When it grows its wings and flies
Sometimes, all you can do is sit back and watch your world collapse
Save me before I fall apart
Without ReligionWe would have one less reason to love each other,Without Religion11 hours ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
One less reason to support the needy,
One less reason to find purpose in life,
One less reason to hate each other,
One less reason to go to war,
One less reason to deem people worthless,
And ninety-nine other reasons for all of these.
Time to Let GoDo you ever get to that point,Time to Let Go1 day ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Where you just pull away,
'cause it's too hard to talk,
For so little, every day?
Do you ever get to that point,
Where you curl up and cry,
'cause they don't want to talk,
but you just don't know why?
No matter how much you ask,
and grovel and plead,
No matter how you try,
You just cannot succeed.
They're so happy without you,
And although that fills you with woe,
You know that in the long run,
It is best to let go.
Cleaning out my closet before I flirt with deathChapter Two - PleasureCleaning out my closet before I flirt with death1 day ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
It still curdling in the stomach, sour bitter but yet it was sweet wasn't it? When it comes to it all it was the one thing it is when one tends to forget, guilt, tripping over your own feet in your own self. Blocked out by nothing but screams and torment from the devils inside your own mind, no one there to see the ripping of flesh and the begging for mercy to save yourself and yet any word you speak out it turns into nothing but a smile and a laugh. It couldn't be thought of as pleasure, guilty as it may seem, maybe it was what it became to the mind of a youth so confused and driven by nothing.
The human body is amazing for remembering the sensations, from the blades of knives, to the thrusts of nails into your flesh it recalls the tender touches special moments and disgusting revelations of your own body that you never knew. It wasn't something you remember mentally, as you drown them down, wash them, dilute them in salt and vinegar to the point it becomes so s
FakeI am fake.Fake2 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
I plaster on false confidence to hide the insecurities that I have brought upon myself.
I act as if I own the world. As if the world that is here, and everyone in it, is below me.
Now these actions, these impressions, these reactions I receive, it can never be undone.
I act as if this is my own selfish game, a game I have won.
Spending money that I don’t have on items that I don’t need.
Just to flash the price tag and to look like I succeed.
Caring too much on the status and recognition,
I fail to realize what should be my real life mission.
Losing hope and sight on how real I could be,
Instead I scream to the world, “Tell me I’m pretty.”
When did compliments equal accomplishments?
They never really do, I no longer have a list of things that I can proudly say I’ve done.
Instead, I can give you a list of things I did to prove that I was fun.
Multibles of oneI wonder how your metaphorical trip's goingMultibles of one21 hours ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
I wonder if she knows you're hiding
It’ll probably take some more convincing
New Yarmouth is a long way from Connecticut
I watch them try and ridicule me
I try to focus hard cause my eyes are tearing up
I try to work up the courage to tell them to stop
And i wanna die as much as you'd think
I watch as they try and kill me
I'm Breathing calmly, then i try to catch my breath.
I just can't find the motivation
Or find any of the right things to be motivated about
I know these people if i don’t wanna do it
Then they are probably just gonna make me
You can never tell what they want
Everything you’re feeling is common
Even though you never felt so alone
I could probably help
But I'm no help to anyone
She says i gotta promise not to break
Then she goes and breaks me
She says I gotta shift my outlook and try to be okay again
But again doesn't make sense in that context
The tone of an outdated video game played from my iPhone
as it wascobwebs on the curtains.as it was2 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
no footprints on the carpet.
the clothes inside the closet
remain unworn for days,
the silence speaks
the food within the fridge
expired it did.
cans, bags, boxes, mags
in the cabinets:
all collecting dust
as the time passes.
the silence amasses
radio waves nonexistent.
an unpowered television.
unmoved paintings, desks,
PainPainPain2 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Who makes me feel these
When was the last time
I saw light?
That was my own and mine alone?
Why have I not felt sun
For many many years?
When will I feel happy
Instead of my own tears?
Why does my light keep dieing?
Why must I keep trying?
Do you fear my little light?
For you is it too bright?
DrowningI've lost my identityDrowning18 hours ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
and it wasn't stolen
and a monochrome surrounds me
as I drown in my own thoughts.
I'm staring at a screen
and hated on
the misery is consuming
eating me alive.
My friends are all leaning on me
I'm the rock
I'm the strong one
yet the tears
wear away at my skin
and i'm drowning again
reaching for the surface
but as i'm kicking to stay afloat
i'm only sinking.
I am what you have made me.I am what you have made me.I am what you have made me.2 days ago in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
I was molded and folded into this materialistic monster.
It’s the brands, the money, the pride that got me.
Shallow, vain, easy. that’s what I’ve become.
and It’s not something that can be easily undone,
in fact, years of therapy still hasn’t changed a thing.
What am i? Who am i? Where do i see myself going?
A future bored housewife? Is that all my reflection has become?
What happened to the girl that wanted to change the world?
What happened to the girl that was going to be something of herself?
She became lost.
She is a lot easier to bury than she is to find.
With a new pair of shoes or a new purse, day by day, she was able to go away.
Where is that girl now though?
Who would I have become if those actions were undone?
Don’t lose sight of yourself.
For then, you’re stuck with this dilemma, of who you are versus who you were.
They say people change, but shouldn’t they change for the better?