11.16i used to lay my head in your lap11.161 week ago in Free Verse More Like This
and i wish you would have snapped my fucking neck
(it would have hurt less in the end).
luminosityto the girl across the room,luminosity1 day ago in Free Verse More Like This
with collarbones that jut out like angel's wings
and a wobbly smile that fails to balance—
you have the saddest eyes i have ever seen,
as though you truly believe that
everyone simply looks right through you.
but i don't, and i can see:
i see you shivering in the roasting heat
while the girls around us fan themselves;
i see you measuring your life not in goals achieved
but in the visible number of vertebra that march down your back;
i see you hiding in the bathroom stalls after a bite of a muffin
to empty yourself until the air vibrates with humming alarm.
i see you in your entirety,
much more clearly than you ever could
so believe me
when i say you are already beautiful,
and that the only thing
i would change at all
would be the way you see yourself.
A Very Serious PoemI’d like to remind you thatA Very Serious Poem5 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
this poem will be very serious and broody.
There will be line breaks where you least expect
it, to punctuate the importance
of this very serious topic.
Super small words will be given
to add to how broody and deep the writer is.
There will also be a rhyme scheme,
not like the ones you see in current themes,
it’ll be new and original to this very serious,
deep, dark, and peerless poem.
There’ll be a little alliteration too, for drama,
Alongside a circus of squirrely metaphors,
That’ll be accompanied by overly dramatized
And superfluous figurative language, sprinkled over similes.
This poem will be super serious;
the most serious, dark and broody poem ever.
It’ll be blacker than black coffee
and heavy enough to blow minds.
I can’t stress it any more,
this poem will be
THE DEPARTUREMomma, your daughter is dripping down the side of the world, dissipating slowly.THE DEPARTURE6 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
I thought you should know.
At night I hear the police helicopter circling like a fat buzzard, contemplating if it
will kill- perhaps, not kill. It hums as it picks the city clean while I am a sieve,
howling hungry. I gape and gape and run right through the days, thinking: to kill
or not to kill. I thought you should know.
Tuesday rolled into Wednesday and I was caught somewhere between, slipping
through myself. I dreamt of orchards: tart citrus splitting my tongue and bees
working themselves through my hair. Grandpa was there, asking after Grandma,
his shirt, crisp from the iron, eclipsing the fruits. He was no more reachable than
the summers he spent under the verandah, his shirt, crisp from the iron, safe from
the sun. I was eight, treading water, and from the edges: bursting oleander. You
were coming to pick me up, Momma. When I dried off, my legs read: MEAN MEAN!
MEAN and I was balled
isolation's daughterlook at us, we're on the stairs, we're in the sink, we're bleeding on the carpets. don't you know someone will have to clean that up. don't you know the carpets are sick of your bullshit. don't you know even the question marks have run away.isolation's daughter1 week ago in Free Verse More Like This
there are pennies in the drainpipe and in the gutter and down the backs of chairs.
they go unmissed.
i am too, in this sense, a small and circular piece of copper.
i used to mind.
i don't anymore.
Static after the heartsongRadio static,Static after the heartsong1 week ago in Free Verse More Like This
there are bats in your beats
through screaming speakers
silently. It's hard,
to break yourself free
from head dance, from blood
itself. Sing a dance. Tune the mouth.
I watched words dangle off the vacant lips
of you, post-heart. Finish language now
or hold your pause forever.
a solo of wings across fluted wind
and you crescendo,
muffling the mechanical whir
of whizzing, wheezing white noise.
This plague's a symphony.
Bite love off Adam's stalk.
Our words died so long ago
black doves punctured holes into our trachea
and called it flute. It's noise in the past,
It's resonating with another's tongue at the start
I listen with ears,
with cracked shells making
the sound of whales wounded
as they tell the gospel
so quietly. Welcome to Envy Beach.
Take your drum sticks
and hit the golden oldies road, doll--
the milk you knocked back at dinner
left phlegm congealing the wound on your throat
This Little Purge of Mine.Write!This Little Purge of Mine.1 day ago in Free Verse More Like This
Every word that uncontrollably
festers and functions
the making of my reality.
First and foremost,
the most thorn-full regret
of hurting someone
just because I NEED
to break fragile things
when I know I can.
Driven to snap the arms
off discarded toys.
Breaking what was once valued.
Second and most painful,
living with the knowledge
that BEING in love
who doesn't love me back
a self-created Hell.
the flaming thistles
into me intimately scarring
a little deeper.
a daily exercise. Without aim
and out of control.
I want the world to hurt
as much as I do.
Third the breakdown of this state of being.
I crave being used.
I know it's not real, but faux love
is better than none at all
when every desired touch
is like yesterdays candy.
Sweet nothings. Junk.
Throw me out like a wrapper.
A shiny distraction
for a moment.
SearchingI wish I could be happy, like the other kids around...Searching4 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
Those smiles that they wear, I wonder where they're found...
I want to find a smile - a real one; not this mask...
but doing so, finding one; is such a horrid task...
It's hard to find a smile when your heart is dead and weak...
When you can't even ask for help, because you cannot speak...
It's hard to find a smile, when you feel they don't exist...
It's even hard to find one with maps drawn on each wrist...
I have so many maps, I've traveled many miles...
I always find pure agony; but never any smiles...
It's hard to find a smile, when it's dark and cold outside;
When the clouds are staying overhead - forcing the sun to hide...
I wish I could be happy; like the other kids I see...
I see them with a smile, a family; but not me...
I wish I had family like the other kids nearby...
The kind that makes you happy, and rarely makes you cry...
Maybe a family has my smile; which is why it can't be found....
Maybe it's only meant for t
I Have a Confession One would think that being a priest,I Have a Confession 1 week ago in Free Verse More Like This
would warrant me,
joy beyond my wildest dreams.
What better job is there,
then to be a servant of God,
true and fair?
That's what I believed, before I kissed the marble,
that being a priest,
was a job to be marveled.
But the moment I was assigned a job from the bishop,
I knew from that moment on,
that my life would be screwed up.
The first day I went, I listened to confessions,
and I heard a tale of a woman,
who refused to leave her husband despite his aggression.
We did face to face,
so I saw her ragged and bruised skin,
and it looked as if someone had torn it with a rake.
Silent I remained, because of my vows,
and I hated myself,
when weeks later, she lay six feet underground.
She wasn't the last of her sorry kind,
I felt as if the abused,
had stood outside of my confessional, forming an endless line.
Next came a man whose arm looked like the surface of the moon,
he smoked weed in the morning,
and pricked heroine at noon.
“Forgive me father,
Shooting Stars Are Actually TearsI wouldn’t mindShooting Stars Are Actually Tears2 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
Galaxy colored bruises
To be littered upon my
Not so delicate shoulders.
You couldn’t break me
Even if you wanted to
Because you can’t break
Those who are already broken.
How Time Fliesi.How Time Flies4 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
in your lungs.
Nine years ago,
on plastic and grass blades
and were happy.
the sickening pulsebeat
behind my eyes.
Two and a half years ago,
we plastered blue over mold
and were happy.
fingers to knees
in a constant freefall.
Three days ago,
heat to gravity to embrace
and were happy.
Mistakes with AngelsThat was my mistake.Mistakes with Angels4 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
I loved her too much,
that one perfect angel who had fallen from the heavens
to mingle with the beasts in my twisted hell.
The thought of her feathered heart breaking when she read the words on a page was too much for me.
It would be too cruel,
and I wasn't selfish, after all.
So I told her,
the words straight from my mouth.
She was an angel, and I loved her,
but the demons were so loud.
They were too much to bear.
To silence them,
I said goodbye.
I swallowed my poison and waited for them to disappear.
I fell, into the dark,
It was heaven,
and I was happy.
My angel saved me.
I know that's how it felt to her.
I know because she told me.
When she caught me she sobbed,
and held me tight against her holy skin.
The demons screamed,
while I whispered that I loved her.
My angel pulled me out of heaven,
and stuck me here in hell.
But I love her too much,
to ever say another word.
A Mess That is MineDo I want to die?A Mess That is Mine5 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
I don't know.
I will turn myself inside out before I have the answer.
You don't have to cut something for it to bleed or kill someone for them to lack motion,
But my blood and guts are not art and I should stop begging to see them.
My sadness is not a song I can make rhyme when I please and somehow,
My apologies dripped in blood are still not good enough for you.
It's funny how easy it is to fall apart in my own hands when really I shouldn't even have cracked.
But your words have always given me butterflies and I've always been scared to hear what you're going to say.
I think I'm still in awe of you, and maybe that's why I cried myself to sleep on repeat.
I've said sorry and I've called myself names.
I've stressed in the dim light at 4 am trying not to disappoint you.
My heart always tries to run away when I know you're there.
I don't know why,
I think I'm just still surprised we even made it.
I want to show you the shame deep inside of me,
The self hatred too.
YouMy heart wants you so closeYou5 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
But my mind supports not being around you because
Wish I could love you
And could not love you, you're killing me slowly
I can not live like this
No longer stand to live like this
My mind so lonely
My life so lost
I wish I could forget you
I wish I could just forget that I love you
To continue living as it ever was
Wish I could live with you without just pretending to be your friend
Smile for the cameraThe ghosts of faded rememberings obstruct my vision;Smile for the camera3 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
glimpses of could-have-beens
fragmented in kaleidoscopic
as reruns play on reflective retinas
behind exhaustion stained eyes,
dissociation watched silence
and powerless, vulnerable submission.
Hairline triggers and offhand comments,
ignorant dismissal versus innocent curiosity
poking, prodding, probings painfully acute
to unsealed wounds and reopened scars,
for still-fucking-terrified events,
you said the wrong thing
and I disintegrated into
of a past I cannot correct.
Don't mind my panic;
I shall flee the inescapable visions
that haunt my already troubled mind,
microscopic cracks spreading by the second
to form valleys, mountains, factions
of flakey pastry dampened in morning dew
to disolve at the kiss of dawn,
glittering granite ground under beige soles,
shards of a headlight shattered in the gutter
as evidence of the impact, unexpect
Am I...All my lifeAm I...4 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
I’ve been taught to love others
just as God has loved me:
I’ve been taught to disassociate
with those who have deviant lifestyles
from that of my family’s.
The same people who
God himself called me to witness to
by spreading his love.
I’m questioning things I’m scared to ask
even my best friends whom I trust.
Like why do I feel
that familiar feeling of falling for a girl
when I think about a particular guy?
I want to be there for him,
I want to help him through his struggles,
I don’t want him to feel alone.
I love him.
But is it out of perversion?
Is this genuine?
Am I confusing two kinds of love?
Am I crazy?
Have I really been bi
all this time?
I’m not looking for justification or approval,
I know how hostile the world can be,
along with my brothers and sisters in Christ,
towards those who aren’t
To anyone who knows me
beyond these lines of verse,
I Love to WriteI love to writeI Love to Write1 week ago in Free Verse More Like This
I bring my notebook with me
and write what the flower looks like waving in the wind
as a few of it’s petals fly away
I write what it’s like to watch tears fall from the broken hearted girls face
and what it's like to watch the children laugh and play.
but I don’t like to write of myself
I love to write about the beauty i see in the world
about the girl who looks as delicate as a flower
about the man standing tall
about nature and peace
about love and war
I take what I learn
and write it down on paper.
but I see no beauty in myself
only the monster inside that screams with rage.
I don’t see the beautiful kind girl that everyone claims is there
I see the homewrecker
I see the killer
I see the pain
there is no beauty inside of here
only a mask that covers the horror.
So i’ll go back to writing about the leaf that floats on the wind
and the child that hurt his knee.
metaphoriai.metaphoria1 week ago in Free Verse More Like This
crept in with French six strings
to looping infinitely in corridors
of prior cobwebbed lyrics,
did you miss this?
immortalized more concretely
in the discreet envelopes of my worry lines
I cannot unknow the lick of your flames
portending drowning, you learning
my new languages
I missed this before I knew you
I have missed you before this.
like first sunlight's mist, you wake
me and my following intake of air
waives my right to live. i sailed my song
down your river's wade and found answers
in the echoes' decay. you made fissures
visceral and my still heart fits.
your era of seraphim quirks and
serrated quarks and serum quakes
shakes in my foundations
until the day that nebulae exist
in bright shaded veins.
you have been deified, decried,
defied, derided; redesigned
and resurrected. if your majesty
pleases, my sighs are kept.
more swept than dreamt,
I sent wavering signals for this
empath's warmth to cease
and combust; your crinkled
storm dust speckles these norms
Ah, Youif you say my nameAh, You6 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
and offer your soul
in the dreaming mountains
will we fall together?
accidental and shining
my old world was a dying fire
I was trapped within
you looked at me with those eyes
and showed me the light outside
I was in a deep sleep
and you woke me without trying
dull gray days
my imagination taking flight
always the forests held their secrets
always I found
but since that day
and didn't want to be found
and then you
I would fade and fizzle out
ghost in the shade and shadows
whispering my own fate until
our eyes met
you are my warrior brother
with wings always growing
your roar pierces hearts
you rule the skies
you and I will
rule the world someday.
I want to live by the oceanOne whole month of self loathe andI want to live by the ocean6 days ago in Free Verse More Like This
five more of waiting on burnt out clichés I never got,
and I spent every last day promising myself that I
understood my own worth,
Being forgotten is all the same
as not being remembered and we know it,
but we will never stop
wastingwashing ourselves away on
ships without anchors just to try
burying our feet in the sand
So why, god, did I let him convince me
that forgiveness in abundance
was no half-hearted hamartia when
we both know he knew that
all i wanted was for someone to say
that they would miss me,
my throat bloody and raw just from shouting
Onoff the edge of the second story for three books straight,
and somehow I still can't remember what you said about
open doors and open windows,
how there’s an ocean of difference between
dying and falling asleep,
but I still think being caught in the middle is
Come Back HomeSave me from this darkness;Come Back Home1 week ago in Free Verse More Like This
This black and endless night.
Every day since you departed,
At any moment, there's no light.
I walk into the downpour,
Let the rain cleanse my soul;
Warmed by solipsism outdoors,
Impervious to the winter's cold.
These raindrops freeze to my skin,
Encasing my body; I've ceased.
These chains hold my heart within;
I've no desire to be released.
The elements never stood a chance,
When we first touched to embrace.
No tremulous as I ask for this dance,
These feelings cannot be erased.
I'm armed with something stronger-
Than you've ever in your life known.
So please don't wait any longer..
Open your eyes, and come home.