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dates on a headstone
should not read 'born' and 'died'
but rather '
On Fitting In
to be accepted, to feel wanted -
to wake up knowing it's a good day
it's something i wanted so badly
most days i don't even get up
i'm a nobody, nobody of importance
but it's something i'm working on
to be a better person, to feel worthy -
to rise from bed with a sense of purpose
and despite my timid demeanor
there's a fire raging inside of me
i wanted so eagerly to fit in
that every day i doused the flames
but i'm learning maybe being different
isn't such a bad thing after all
expressing my mind with paper and a pen
a craft not every person possesses
carefully stitching lines together
inspiration and creativity sets me apart -
from the rest of the bees in the swarm
from the rest of the crows in the murder
from another set of stripes in the stampede
my discipline, my talent, my fervor
are all things that i should be proud of
not something to hide from the world
to be accepted, to feel wanted
i know now those are things i don't need
Just do it
Day 295 of 365
Freedom to Choose
“Gender roles are the worst kind of bread”
Heard about a new diner down the block.
My son and I slash through crowds
And find a small windowed booth
Which seemed painted with coal
Amongst groups of colorful groups of gemmed people.
As we gaze at our menus,
Our choices slice away my brain
My son keeps scanning down,
My ears and eyes scatter
And come back with reports
Of adults playing “second brain”
By flowing spit rivers of
He’ll have the G.I. Joe, extra Axe.
She wants the Barbie ala princess.
Can he have bits of wrestling,
With an extra helping of muscle?
The eyes told tales of daggered stares
And kids responding in shrugs
Before becoming turtles with sinking heads.
The waiter shifts to us
“Have you two come to a decision?”
Was asked as the waiter slid a software in her neck
That had a label read as “strain”.
I shoved the waiter to the peripheral
And blanketed my companion with
“Anything look appetizing, son?”
Just Let Go
it takes real lions
molly: oh gosh what happens
the lions escape from the zoo
Trixie: man the lions are acting like its bedtime come on lets go
she and the others suit up and go
molly: voltron assemble
the other lions form voltron
veronica: now lets bring those manned cats back to the zoo
Chloe: sorry pigeons
voltron: here you go
narrator: we return to voltron after these messages now back to voltron
voltron puts the lions back in the zoo
Trixie: looks like the zoo got the lions back
at outback steakhouse
Trixie: chicken fingers and fries please
the waiter leaves and comes back with chicken fingers and fries and everyone eats them
molly: well everyone the lions are put back in the zoo
Trixie: yep we make a pretty good team
Trixie: now lets get going
molly: so we brought the lions back to the Dimmesdale zoo right
I know I'm supposed to be the stronger one.
The one who walks away and leaves things as they are.
But I keep feelin this rope pulling tighter and tighter around my heart.
You know what, it's all because of you.
I put you on a throne.
I believed that I could entrust my heart to you.
You place lies on your tongue as if they were the air you breath.
You don't even know.
Born of wild thorns and severe burns.
You walk as if the world is burning at your feet.
Spewing words of sacred vows and strong views.
You tend to leave everyone else behind.
So the pain I feel is real.
It's a mistake I made.
But it is still all your fault.
You and how fake you really are.
Secret to Life
Listening to the patter of a soft summer rain,
Falling gently around my window;
Feeling the sweet, warm droplets of tears,
Falling gently onto my cheek.
Long, our two hearts have wanted care;
Long, they have gone forgotten.
A small finger touching a warm, tender lip;
A vow to stay together.
The summer breeze wafts by my window;
Her voice whispers into my ear.
Power Rangers, Dragon Force team
You don't love me
You say I love you but you don't
You do not love me, you love the idea of me
The idea in your head of me
You love the me I was years ago
When I was five, when I was perfect
You say I love you in the hopes that'll I'll change back to a happy little girl
You always wish I'd stay the same
I say I love you but I don't
I do not love you, I love the idea of you
The idea in my head of you
I love the you that I want in years to come
When you'll be nice, when you will be perfect
I say I love you in the hopes that'll you'll change back to a loving mom
I always wish you'd just change
The most beautiful thing about finally understanding,
is the utter absence of fear.
Knowledge and experience become your lanterns
and you can see the path ahead with incredible clarity.
And with this clarity
comes the dulling of one's agony.
For you are no longer a paper puppet,
to be blown and blustered by the winds of change.
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