Natalia Poklonskaya vs. Sarah Palin - PreludeNatalia Poklonskaya vs. Sarah Palin - Prelude1 year ago in General Fiction
NOTE - THIS IS MADE FOR SATRICAL, PARODY, AND ENTERTAINMENT. NOT FOR A DEEP ANALYSIS OR CONSPIRACY BS. ANY FANART/TUMBLR/WEBSITE USED, NOTIFICATION WILL BE APPRICATED TO SHOW RESPECT AND GIVE CREDIT TO THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR(S)
NOW ONTO THE SHOW OF GLORIFIED FANFICTION
Hakuboshi: “These two women of the political spectrum will go down in history. As Russia and the United States become more and more jaded, with crisis after crisis on a daily basis, we need to remember that these mothers and political figureheads are NOT evil, but depending on your circle, they can be a hated or loved individual.”
Wendy: “Like Natalia, who took the world by storm!”
Hakuboshi: “And Palin, the Republican answer to Clinton. I’m Haku and shes Wendy.”
Wendy: “And welcome to DEATH BATTLE!”
Life as a Princess: Episode 138Life as a Princess: Episode 1381 year ago in Articles & Interviews
Life as a Princess
Welcome back to the show. A lot of bad news has been occurring recently. It's been making me sad. Oh, wow.
In World News
The worst Ebola outbreak in history is occurring in West Africa. An estimated 730 people have died from the disease, with another 1300 infected. And of course it happens in the least prosperous continent in the world. Of course, all travels to the continent has been put on hold. The last thing we want is any of those viruses getting to America...or India for that matter.
In U.S. News
A water pipe burst near UCLA campus, and a whopping 8-10 million gallons of water was wasted and flooded the campus, including their newly remodeled gym. Really? The state is already in a drought. We don't need more water being wasted, and 8-10 million gallons is a lot of water. Nothing good can come from living in that state. That's why I live in Chicago.
In Media News
Sarah Palin has her own news channel. That's right. The governor of
E.R.B. of History 4: Sarah Palin vs. Lady GagaE.R.B. of History 4: Sarah Palin vs. Lady Gaga1 year ago in Profiles
Epic Rap Battles of History 4: Sarah Palin VS Lady Gaga
OK folks let’s get this thing started.
Sarah Palin: Sarah was always on the offensive, she opened with a cool beat down but on her rebuttal she let Gaga get to her which made her sloppy with the rap up.
Lady Gaga: Gaga was always confident of her victory which allowed her to stay calm and coolly destroy Sarah. Her confidence also allowed her to finish Sarah off with an Epic line.
Best opener: Lady Gaga “I think I'd rather elect a smurf then vote for you”
Best content: Draw
Best line: Sarah Palin “I killed moose with my bare hands before you were alive”
Best closer: Lady Gaga “History will regret you like Joh-Joh-John McCain”
Worst line: Sarah Palin “Your fans are in a frenzy like a bunch of gay piranhas.”
Winner: Lady Gaga
Sarah didn't stand a chance ageist Gagas overwhelming confidence. Sarah might have fared better if she had not lost her temper.
Well that’s it
The Importance of Obvious IntentNot long ago, Sarah Palin published a map that had people she disagreed with politically marked with crosshairs. One of her fans took these seriously, and shot democrat Gabrielle Giffords, putting her in the hospital.The Importance of Obvious Intent2 years ago in Philosophical
I in no way believe that Palin meant for these "targets" to be attacked. She meant it almost as a joke; a clever way to both reaffirm her stance on gun rights and to show the people she was interested in taking down, politically. Unfortunately, the way she told her clever joke made her intent unclear. A man who thought she was being serious took the map as an order: "These are my enemies, shoot them."
The biggest problem with the combination of free speech and the ease of use of the internet is this exactly. A clever joke can spread like wildfire; the farther it spreads, the more people see it. The more people see it, the more likely someone is to misunderstand. The misunderstanding will then also spread like wildfire. It too can be misunderstood, and so on. Some misunder
Tomb Raider (2013), a cutscene reviewTomb Raider (2013), a cutscene review2 years ago in Reviews & Guides
Disclaimer: The following review is the author’s half-assed attempt to comment on video games. If you feel the need to disagree, loudly, in the comments section, feel free to do so. Remember, this is the guy who liked the original ending to Mass Effect 3. Don’t take anything he says too seriously, I certainly don’t.
Also, potential spoilers
Tomb Raider (2013), a cutscene review
Good news, everyone! I’m as sick as a dog leaving me with lots of free time to complain about things. And if you thought I was bad before, wait until you see me now!
I’m going to try something different today. You know how video game journalists like to review games and lots of people complain about the various opinions? Well, for me, I’m going to review only the cutscenes of a game and going by there? Why? Well, there’s been a long and weighty discussion of the writing of the game to be tighter and many do say that some cutscenes are so long, that t
Big Brother: Swirly Style 2 PreviewBig Brother: Swirly Style 2 Preview2 years ago in Introductions & Chapters
“Hey, this is still a fanfic!” Swirly yelled at the studio audience, who all cheered madly. "So, yeah, welcome to Big Brother: Swirly Style 2!"
The crowd cheered madly for everybody.
"Here to join me, is my fabulous cohost, Coco!" Swirly yelled.
Coco walked out and the crowd practically ripped their clothes off for him.
"Wow, gross, some of you have boobs," Coco told them, so they all redressed themselves.
"And the winner of our first season, Roxy Lalonde!"
Roxy walked out, waving to her fans, and everyone cheered for her, except for Coco, who was booing her horribly.
Swirly and Roxy both just stared at him.
"Anyway, once again, we’re about to shove fourteen random people from various shows and games or whatever into this giant house and they have to fight all summer to evict each other and win money or something!” Swirly said.
"It's not easy," Roxy told everyone, and the crowd gasped dramatically.
"So let's start!" Swirly yelled. "First off, i
Dear Sarah PalinDear Sarah PalinDear Sarah Palin3 years ago in Free Verse
Your daughter was 17
Hiding your shame with oversize sweaters
And Sunday school smiles that didn’t reach her eyes
I was 21 and joined in the taunts
Against your sanctimonious scripture
Branding Bristol with the scarlet sum of Abstinence only
Laughing with pleasure at a young girls folly
And her mother’s hypocrisy.
And I am sorry.
Sarah Palin, I hate everything you stand for
I have queer friends who gaze at each other
With such an omniscience and feeling
That it hurts to look
And I have to avert my eyes less I crumble with envy for what they have
I evicted a child from my womb by choice
And I take prayers and blessings from the offering plate of “government funded”
Worst of all I have orgasms the size of Alaska
At the very mention of regulation.
I am a big government girl and you hate everything I hold dear.
But we are both mothers now.
Sarah, I am sorry if my slurs
Made you cry
Spilling hot tears down your MAC make-up cheeks
Epic Rap Battles of History #4 LyricsThe lyrics to the 4th Epic Rap Battles Of HistoryEpic Rap Battles of History #4 Lyrics3 years ago in Sketches
WARNING: This does contain bad language
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!
Oh boy, look what we have here
A transvestite with a keyboard trying to be freak of the year
Your voice sounds like a rooster having sex with a frog
They put a lot of lipstick on you, but you still look like a dog
Put down that teacup, honey. Go put on some pants
and Stop letting little monsters teach you how to dance
and You may be Gaga but you ain't lady at all
I've seen those outfits you've been wearing. That takes big balls
I think I'd rather elect a smurf than vote for you
Governor of Alaska? That's like the principal of a home school
You are the sum of everything I despise
With the most dysfunctional family since the Jackson fucking five
Just trust me, your fifteen minutes of fame came and went
Go back to your igloo. Spend some time with your kids before they're pregnant
Your frigid little body couldn't eve
Let It CheckParody: "Let It Check"Let It Check3 years ago in Songs & Lyrics
Original Song: "Let It Rock" by Kevin Rudolf ft. Lil' Wayne
I see you think your branch is the ace
High behind your Cabinet
What is done to improve your reign
I think your Senate's collective brain is very hollow
So you think I'm a nimrod
And believe that the prez is a small fry
A small fry
A small fry
And so you judge major crime
And you mint a dime
Well I think the Constitution is what you misread
Your popularity with your party is in decline
Because when my speech is live
I, I bring my branch higher
Your branch should start to contrive
'Cause you're not as cool as the prez that was prior
You have the power I have not?
I can still impeach you
Let it check
Let it check
Let it check
Now, prez, I hope you're braced
We had to override that veto (please don't be a bother)
We made him exclaim
"Please don't make me holler!"
But we made him feel like a spare part
So he planned a special session
With the Senate
With the Senate
With the Senate
And so you judge major crim
Aliens: from a Democrat's PerspectiveAliens: From a Democrat's PerspectiveAliens: from a Democrat's Perspective3 years ago in Flash Fiction & Vignettes
I know this sounds crazy, but I have seen firsthand the disastrous effects of conservatives on this country.
Conservative ALIENS, that is.
Oh, yes. As a politician- my name shall remain undisclosed, thank you very much- I have traveled to major cities across the globe. I can say for a fact: aliens do exist. And they're Republican.
In New York I met with a "woman"- *cough* thing *cough* who called itself Ann Coulter. (Xorg'Xa sounds more apt.) All I can say is: It most certainly has tentacles, and if not, something that sounds very similar to tentacles.
Next we move to Sarah Palin, who I met at a book signing in DC, who made me rethink the phrase "intelligent extraterrestrial life".
Last but not least, we have Jabba the Hutt- oh, sorry, I mean Rush Limbaugh.
Simply put, I am convinced that all conservatives are aliens. They roam the streets of our okay (it would be much better with socialized medicinal marijuana) nation's cities. So next time
Fanfic fail: Set freeFanfic fail: Set free4 years ago in General Fiction
Hawk: I'M BACK!
Troy: But...you...shot yourself! In the face!
A/N: I wrote this after I found out that Sarah Palin supported aerial hunting of wolfs. That is sick!
Hawk pulls out a Minigun.
Hawk: This is how you hunt wolves!
No wolf should ever be shot down! Wolfs are endangered and there is only 500 of them left in North America!
Hawk: STEPHEN COLBERT! WE NEED YOU!
So I decided to give the palin family a taste of how beautiflul, majestic, and rare these animals are!
Hawk: And they maul people!
Go wolves and I hope you enjoy!
The Palin family sat in their cabin after a long days hunt. They were hunting for wolfs, which were pests in alaska.
Hawk: D*mn wolves! Taking over our government! Stealing our jobs!
So far, their hunt have been fruitless.
Troy: Jacob knew their strategy!
Todd Palin sat with Track, playing cards as williow and piper prepared dinner for everyone. Sarah Palin sat by the windeo, cleaning with her gun.
Bill Maher vs. Common SenseBill Maher has declared that the Republican Party is at war with common sense. "I think Republicans live in a world now where whatever a liberal says, no matter how sensible, is automatically evil, wrong, and needs to be fought with the fervor of a starving raccoon on crystal meth," he said during a recent New Rules segment on his HBO show Real Time.Bill Maher vs. Common Sense4 years ago in Editorial
You know what's the worst part about Bill Maher?
It's not that he bashes Republicans. They have been wrong on many issues (Patriot Act, WMDs, waterboarding, oil subsidies) and Maher is perfectly justified in bashing them because of itthough to him, Republicans are always wrong and liberals like himself are always right. And to be perfectly honest, that's not the worst part about him either. We all think we're right about something, especially when it comes to politics, so why should we expect anything different from a l
Antics in Freshman Biology on HalloweenTales of SubstatutesAntics in Freshman Biology on Halloween4 years ago in Stories & Vignettes
Antics in Freshman Biology: Sarah Palin as God's Secretary
It's Halloween and the bell has already rung when Jasper sneaks into class late dressed as Jesus. The Substatute denies him the work for his absence and he settles sulking into his seat.
He pleaded with me, I knew I shouldn't do it, but who could deny Jesus? "In Sarah Palin's name" I said mater of factly convincing myself that I had to prove my loyalty to the politician I'd debated as in AP Government that morning. Putting on my dignified innocent nature I approached the rude woman with frizzy grey hair and small beady eyes conjuring the last of my nerve. "I'm done with my bookwork, was there a worksheet I had to do?" She eyed me suspiciously asking "You didn't already get one?" I shook my head innocently. Not finding any reason to deny me she nodded toward a stack of paper on the other side of her desk. Conjuring the last of my nerve I took one and, relieved, made my way to my seat. She continued to eye me
Sarah and SamI do not like Sarah Palin, Uncle Sam,Sarah and Sam4 years ago in Traditional Fixed Forms
I hate Sarah Palin, the evil woman.
I would not praise her for a boat,
I would not praise her for a fur coat,
I would club her senseless to save a seal,
I would shoot her arms off to hear her squeal.
I do not like Sarah Palin, Uncle Sam,
I really friggin hate her, the evil woman.
I would not invade China for lots of rice,
I would not invade Africa for all its spice,
I wouldn't conquer Canada for its oil,
I wouldn't conquer Russia for its soil.
I do not like Sarah Palin, Uncle Sam,
I wish she'd go to hell,
please or gods be damned.
Arthur Christmas 3D ReviewArthur Christmas 3D Review4 years ago in Reviews & Guides
On Christmas night at the North Pole, Santa's youngest son looks to use his father's high-
tech operation for an urgent mission. Hi this is KingJames92 your guide to movies. Well
I know it's been a while since I have reviewed a movie. That's because I haven't been to
the movies in a while until now. Knowing the fact that we are only four days left to
Christmas, I decided to a review a movie today that is all about Christmas. Coming from
the same guys who made the incredibely charming and loveable Wallace & Gromit and Chicken
Run Aardman Animations comes a Christmas movie in which I think is just as good as their
other movies if not better called Arthur Christmas. Now before I get started, I been
wanting to see this film when it came out. It was doing very well with critics and even
though it wasn't do all that well domestically, it was doing quite well foreignally. And
now I finally saw it and all I can say was WOW! It didn't just meet my expectations, but
it exceeded even more than I
Good Dream............Bad DreamAfter we kiss she smiles and walks away,i stand there confused,shoked,kinda discouted,and a little creeped out about what my dream had just made me do.and Just when i think it cant get any worse i once more here the kid laugh i freeze and the slowly walk out of the room looking for sarah.Good Dream............Bad Dream4 years ago in Humor
"Uhhhhh......Sarah?" i walk down the hall,and into the living room,i make a dead stop when i see kids.......KIDS!! i scream to myself in my head...."WTF WTF WTF WTF!! what is wrong with my head am i mental do i need help i mean am i okay??" i start pacing and thinking to my self then one of the kids talks.
"Mom what are u doing?" a small girl ask looking at me like i'm stupid.
" mo u called me mom! SARAH!!" i run back into the room and close the door clapse on the bed cover my head with the belnkit. "Wake up please wake up please wake up ................wake up wake up wake up!!!!"
"Hey u okay...i heard u calling me." sarah lays next to me and pulls the cover gently off my head.
"Am i asleep??" i say
TftW: Ellie Pigs OutEllie Tomlin was the wife of politician Robert Tomlin and just like him she was also in politics, but she wasn't as good as he was.TftW: Ellie Pigs Out4 years ago in Short Stories
To say she was not too bright was an understatement, she was dumb and extremely clueless as to what people really thought of her. Most people just lied to her and pretended that she was a 'nice person' to be around, even though she was oblivious as to what they really were saying.
She made the mistake one evening of firing one of her caterers after a gala dinner ball went from bad to worse when an over-cooked roast caused one of the guests to have a fit, later that evening said caterer put a potion in her favorite cookies.
"Mrs Tomlin, I am so sorry about what happened."
"That's alright, I fired him."
"What? You fired Marco?"
"Now you've done it... Marco is extremely upset because of what you did."
"Oh i'm sure he'll be fine."
"Well I hope you
100 Questions For ConservativeHello. This quiz is for conservatives. If you are a liberal, click here.100 Questions For Conservative4 years ago in Editorial
Warning: Do not read this list if you do not wish to have your political beliefs challenged. Click here to go to Fox News. Otherwise, feel free to continue.
Consider the questions carefully and make sure to take time to read the articles linked and watch the videos featured.
1) If Republicans are for limited government, why hasn't one Republican president reduced the size of the federal government?
2) Is it considered limited government when our military spending, at nearly $700 billion, exceeds that of the next 17 countries combined?
3) How about when our navy is