Finally able to do the April raffle now that I don't have to worry about a deep bill to pay haha.  It's called April Showers because the winner will be showered in 800 points haha- I'm sorry I couldn't afford more.  It was originally going to be in the thousands, but I still have another anime con to go to... x'DD

Rules
 You must favorite this journal.  This will be your "raffle ticket".  
(Optional) If you comment, you will receive a second "raffle ticket".
(Optional) If you post a journal featuring this raffle, you will get a third and a fourth ticket.

The winner will be chosen via www.random.org/ on April 25th (Saturday) and you will promptly receive your prize of 800

Well guess what it's contest time again!!  

This time it's a contest to design me a bat pony oc I need one and I can't seem to get any good ideas flowing! ;3; lol anyways I'll explain the rules now

 Rules  

1. You can make as many entries as you want
2. it can be any type of art, traditional, digital, etc  (bases are allowed)
3. Must be a female bat pony   
4. Must be ultra girly ( but you probably already guessed that)
5. Please share this journal and link back in the comments  
6. Comment  "Kitty cats are awesome" if you read EVERYTHING    

tips

Here are a few of my favorite themes if you need some design ideas 

1. Hime gyaru,
2. Fairy Kei 
3. Kawaii
4. Stars 
5. Pink 
6. Pastel colors
7. Sailor Moon 
8. Desserts
9. Dusk 
10. Galaxy
11. Sleep
12. Cats
13. Bubbles 


Prizes

1st place will get a vectoring of their oc of choice (here are some examples )
 

2nd place will get  a batch of 10 foals (examples)

  

3rd place will get 50



Deadline is May 1st

And lastly..... Good luck everyone!  

I really don't know why, but I just had a funny urge to write something like this. I guess it's because a lot of people come to me asking how they should help their depressed or troubled friends or family members, and since I kinda sorta get tired of writing the same old stuff to people (well, it's not always the same old thing, considering cases are different), I thought it may help to just make a little how-to on the subject and show what I do to try to help people I know when they become depressed or suicidal.
--

1. Listen.

Yes, the first thing that makes all the difference is to take the time to listen to this person and understand where they're coming from. You can't help someone if you shut them down or refuse to take an hour or two out of your day to hear their side of the story. Truth be told, this is exactly why so many people think nobody cares, thus feeling unloved and unnoticed enough to believe that their presence is no longer needed here. Besides, you have to know what's going on before you can help because, as I said, cases can vary. People have different reasons as to why they feel the way they do, and you have to figure out how to assess the problem properly. (Plus, this is also a way you can find out if your friend or loved one is bullshitting/fishing for attention when they have no intentions of killing themselves and only want asspats. Personally, if the only reason you wanna die is because your parents wanted you to do homework, I will not help you. Why? Because you're fine and you're making a joke of suicide and other people's pain. Stop it.)

2. Steer them away from their thoughts.

No, this doesn't mean start off with "if you ever think like that again, I'll kick your ass" or "you're pathetic for feeling this way." I'll admit I've told quite a few people that I'd beat them up if they ever threatened to kill themselves again, but I made sure I said that after they were out of their funk, haha. Tough love works wonders in some cases, but in some, all a person needs is for you to tell them that life's worth fighting for and that they CAN and will make it through. Tell them all they have to live for. Tell them how much they matter to people and to you. Tell them about all the potential they have to do something great someday. Whatever it is, make sure it doesn't force blame onto them and make sure that it lets them know how much of a great life they can have if they just push through the walls of bullshit to get to the light.

Remember, the last thing a suicidal person wants to hear is that the way they feel is their fault and they should be ashamed for it. I know it's easy to get angry or frustrated when a suicidal person seems so hellbent on killing themselves and you may want to give up on them or lash out, but keep at it if you can. Don't make them feel worse.

3. Spend time with them.

It's amazing how just having a friend to chill with can make the biggest difference for a person dealing with suicidal thoughts. If you have someone there who will take the time to be with you and do things you enjoy or just talk about random things, it can really snap you out of whatever you may be feeling or thinking of. This is usually what works for me, besides drawing my feelings out or singing or something. I can be ready to give up on everything and talk with my gf or a good buddy, get a few laughs, maybe flail over a fandom or some such thing, and as time goes on...I feel so much better and it makes me realize "hey, I need to stick around so I can continue to hang with these dudes." I also know how much it'd hurt them if I was gone, so that kinda automatically pushes me away from the thoughts.

Just be there, man. Even if you think you're not helping enough or you think just being there isn't the best solution, you may discover that was all your friend or loved one needed.

4. Use tough love if necessary.

So, I mentioned that tough love works in some cases, right? Well, it does. If being soft and gentle doesn't work, be firm. Not hateful or bitchy or bossy, but firm and stern. Let them know that what they're feeling is unreasonable (even if it may not seem like it at the time, it is. Suicide is never a good solution to anything except maybe terminal illness or something and you can't tell me otherwise) and that they need to reevaluate their thoughts and priorities, but as I said before, don't make them feel like shit. There's a big difference in tough love and being an asshole. Use the tough love method if nothing else works.

Oh, and don't make it all about you. For example, saying stuff like "do you know how badly it will bother ME if you kill yourself?" or "your depression is getting on MY nerves, so stop it." Don't do that. Besides making you look like a self-absorbed jerk, it's annoying in itself no matter the situation. Nobody likes a "me, me, me" person.

5. If all else fails, try to get them professional help.

Sometimes all the things people say and their rants about how life is so worth fighting for doesn't help. That's just how it is. Send them numbers to suicide help hotlines, get them to a psychiatrist if you can, do something. A lot of kids get angry when their parents try to get them help in this way, but sometimes you have to do it. They may not wanna go through with it and may get mad with you, but would you rather get someone to a psychiatrist before something happens or visit them in the hospital from a feigned suicide attempt? Or worse, visit them in the morgue or in the funeral home if they succeed?

This is not something I've had to do, thankfully, so I don't have the most experience with this. All I'm saying is that if your friend or loved one is near you and you can get them help, do so. Or try to, anyway. Some people just don't accept help, and that's sad, but professionals may hold the keys needed to open the lock on their brains that won't allow them to escape those thoughts.

6. Finally, if nothing you did worked and they do end up committing suicide, don't blame yourself.

A big problem people have when their loved ones kill themselves is feeling like they didn't do enough or say enough to keep them from doing it. This is not always the truth of the matter. It's horrible, but there are just some extreme cases where people will not listen to reason or they're just so screwed up inside that they feel like they wouldn't matter to anyone regardless of how important they actually are. They just can't get past the thick walls of fog in order to see the sun peeking up over the horizon, if you will.

This is not your fault.

Don't blame yourself if your efforts were in vain. Just know that you did what you could and you were at least there for them in their last moments on earth. That counts for something, so don't sell yourself short. You did a good thing and even if they couldn't get over their problems, you probably did help in some tiny way. And for God's sake, don't feel so guilty that you do the same thing they did. That helps nothing and it's not worth it, because who knows? Maybe all the efforts you put into helping that person may actually save another's life. Wouldn't that be an amazing feeling?

I know it can be frightening and sad when someone you care about feels suicidal, but you have to at least try to do what you can because you never know who you may be able to save. That's why I dedicate so much time to writing stuff like this and honestly it's why I haven't left dA yet. I like knowing I can be there for people and make them feel like they have at least one person who really cares. Because I do! If you're truly going through problems and things are rough for you, you can bet your ass I'm gonna try to fix things for you. I know you can't always "fix" people, but dammit, I can try to help them through things. I know how it feels to not want to live and not want to keep pushing on, and it's a horrid feeling to have. We all want to feel loved, cared for, and important whether we want to admit it or not.

If you can be the one to make someone feel that way, then why not? Similarly, if you're the one who's considering suicide as an option to fix your issues, find someone to vent to. I'm positive you have at least ONE person you can talk to and if you don't want to do that, then find a hobby. Put your feelings into something that isn't hurting yourself. Art, music, animals, whatever you're into. Find it and start putting your time into it. You'd be amazed how a hobby can get your mind off of yourself.

Most importantly, whether you're the suicidal person or the loved one who just wants to help, stay strong. It's all you can do. You're tougher than you think you are.
--

Now the oak trees are swayin' in the early autumn breeze
The golden sun is shining on my face
The tangled thoughts I hear a mockingbird sing
This old world really ain't that bad a place