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GZtale AUs

(sorry about my bad english)

Before I start. let me write this one more time is what is GZ mean? GZ stands for ‘Golzy’ for short. I don’t have any good name for the Au so i’ll go stick with GZ.

GZtale is an AU where it hardly to reach the true pacifist it is because the main storyline in Gztale it’s like, it’s not completely messed up but the thing is the character in the AU were slightly different than the original Undertale was. Their encounter and their personalities were also different.The main protagonist, Frisk, is a bit clumsy and pick the wrong choices, so their ending were ALWAYS Neutral (any neutral).

 I’ll list the differences in Gztale AU:

 

  • Toriel didn’t make any bad skeleton puns , and her diary contain many sad and sympathy note to the friend of hers. (it’s Sans)
  • Sans/Ganz did very less puns after Frisk met him, but he always did a very friendly conversation but he is hardly to smile behind them, he did a fake smile to show Frisk that he is fine.
  • Ganz doesn’t like to talk about his brother, Papyrus.
  • Papyrus doesn’t appear in snowdin at first, his first appearance at the waterfall. (the place where Frisk met Undyne in original UT where Pap send her a report)
  • Papyrus is a Head of Royal Guard.
  • Undyne already lost her job as a Royal Guard
  • Papyrus and Ganz relationship are VERY distant to each other.
  • Ganz is hardly to trust Frisk.
  • Papyrus and Undyne are more like rivals, they didn’t contact to each other.
  • Frisk somehow clumsy, but they also feel regret what they done every time they reset the timeline, they are trying so hard to get a ‘Happy Ending’
  • Ganz’s fridge have a small slice of Pie. 
  • Battle encounter: from first to last (main boss)

  • 1) Toriel (Ruins)
  • 2) Undyne (Waterfall)
  • 3) Mettaton (core)
  • 4) Papyrus (judgement hall)
  • 5) Asgore (barrier)
  • and after that, just the same as original.
  • Sans/Ganz (as usual, Genocide, but afterGenocide Papyrus battle in the same location)
     
  • Mettaton just Mettaton.
  • Alphy’s worried about Undyne because she look down to herself a lot.
  • Undyne hate herself.



These are all the Gztale goes, but there are still more, but you are feel free to make your own headcanon.

Anamnesis is a flashback behind the main story, focus on Sans and Papyrus Origin and how their life goes.

Like i said that this AU is most of it were neutral ending, to make it true pacifist is that:

  • Make Sans trust you.
  • Make Sans happy.
  • Make Undyne to believe herself
  • Encourage Alphys
  • Tied Sans and Papyrus brotherly relationship.
  • Make Papyrus and Undyne to be friend again.
  • vice versa (use your own other than above)

I would say that, GZtale is not that CLOSE to Underfell AU. It just that everything were separated apart, like how Papyrus and Sans were distant to each other, like how Papyrus and Undyne not contact to each other, like how Undyne hardly to believe herself, etc.

I will upload more comic related to the GZtale. I already making Official blog for Gztale AU

Gztale Blog.

If There’s any question, you can ask in Gztale Blogs. 

Click the (?) button in the blog to ask
Screen Shot 2016-02-08 at 18.59.33 by GolzyBlazey

  

Trước tiên, nhân dịp đầu năm mới chúc mọi người an khang thịnh vượng, luôn hạnh phúc, vui vẻ, may mắn, gặt hát được nhiều thành công trong học tập, cũng như trong cuộc sống nha Airborne Airborne Airborne 



Animated Pink Heart Divider by Gasara


Lần share này vừa để chúc mừng năm mới 2016, vừa mừng 600+ watchers ha Woohooooo! Woohooooo! Woohooooo! Woohooooo! Hạnh phúc quá đuyyyyyy Headbang! Headbang! Headbang! 


Tuy nhiên, nói trước nó sẽ không có nhiều như đợt trước đâu. Tại thời gian quá ư là hẹp hòi TvT. Thôi kệ, cứ share cho vui là được rồi :happybounce: :happybounce: :happybounce: 

Và nhớ rằng: 

FAV+fav  + COMT + WATCH deviantART  = DOWNLOAD


Bullet; Blue PLEASEBullet; Blue 

Bullet; Red DON'T CROP, EDIT OR CLAIM AS YOUR Bullet; Red 
Bullet; Red DON'T SELL OR SHARE ANY WHERE Bullet; Red 
Bullet; Red CREDIT :iconhannxoxo2k: IF YOU DOWNLOAD AND USE Bullet; Red 
(Please, don't credit in your fav)

Bullet; Yellow HOPE YOU LIKE IT Bullet; Yellow

Thôi không dài dòng nữa bắt đầu luôn nha :squee: :squee: :squee: 

Animated Pumpkin Divider by Gasara

I. RES:

Lần đầu share cái ni đọ Dance! Dance! Dance! 

1. fotki.yandex.ru/users/sodes777…


2. fotki.yandex.ru/users/ladyo200…


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-------------- Hết rồi nha, có bằng vậy thôi. Nhưng toàn res đẹp không hà. Tuôi lựa res cũng kĩ lắm chứ bộ. Hy vọng m.n. thích nó CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU!--------------

Animated Rainbow Star Divider by Gasara

II. PSD ART:

Phần chính đây nà La la la la La la la la La la la la 

1. 
You're my sunshine by hannxoxo2k

2. 
Angel is your name by hannxoxo2k

3.
Cutie Hani!!! by hannxoxo2k

4.
Haniii - You are my Idol by hannxoxo2k

5.
Kim TaeYeon by hannxoxo2k

6.
Love Yourself by hannxoxo2k

7.
Happy New Year by hannxoxo2k

8.
Oh my girl by hannxoxo2k

9.
Oh my mind! by hannxoxo2k

10.
The Day You Went Away by hannxoxo2k

11.
This is Love by hannxoxo2k

12.
Quynh Anh Shyn by hannxoxo2k

13.
Yeri....in my heart by hannxoxo2k

--------------------------------------------------Hết rồi nho, có đúng bằng vậy thôi đó Wink/Razz Wink/Razz Wink/Razz --------------------------------------------------------



Đây là phần mệt nhất - CREDIT cho phần PSD ART:

1. Render: :iconheoconkutecu: :iconlauran891: :iconbabysteponlys9: :iconhikihima-kiririn2: :icondamdangteam: :iconpeonyriiiviii: :iconbaoheo: :iconjoker2807: :iconveccin: :iconnaryjunghee:
2. Coloring: :iconrebellixclub: :icongatothecrazycat: :iconluyi-loo: :iconsei-huan: :iconrinyhent: :iconsunsuperman: :iconyindao: :iconbonsullivan: :iconseul3105: :iconshinniebabe24: :iconpynangel: :iconjyszel: :iconryniexiao: :iconpepnie: :iconshinbyun2k2: :iconsukicute257: :iconhanaphuong200: :iconsamibb:
3. Res, phụ kiện linh tinh...: :iconpeonyriiiviii: :iconminacuteg: :iconmolncie: :iconsamibb:
4. Style text: :iconshinbyun2k2: :iconminacuteg: :iconpeonyriiiviii: :iconxeocute2k:
5. Textures: :iconmsg2k3: :iconsarytah: :iconmikakjj: :iconfauxism-org: :iconmonxcheri: :iconbitterendings: :iconschokotorte:

Bouncy Stars - Divider by SugareeSweetsBouncy Stars - Divider by SugareeSweetsBouncy Stars - Divider by SugareeSweetsBouncy Stars - Divider by SugareeSweetsBouncy Stars - Divider by SugareeSweets

FAV+fav  + COMT + WATCH deviantART  = DOWNLOAD


Bullet; Blue PLEASEBullet; Blue 

Bullet; Red DON'T CROP, EDIT OR CLAIM AS YOUR Bullet; Red 
Bullet; Red DON'T SELL OR SHARE ANY WHERE Bullet; Red 
Bullet; Red CREDIT :iconhannxoxo2k: IF YOU DOWNLOAD AND USE Bullet; Red 
(Please, don't credit in your fav)

Bullet; Yellow HOPE YOU LIKE IT Bullet; Yellow 


: favthankyouplz : by Gasara: favthankyouplz : by Gasara: favthankyouplz : by Gasara

Heart Heart Heart HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016 Heart Heart Heart 


Neko Emoji-27 (Being kawaii) [V2]Neko Emoji-27 (Being kawaii) [V2]Neko Emoji-27 (Being kawaii) [V2]Neko Emoji-27 (Being kawaii) [V2]Neko Emoji-27 (Being kawaii) [V2]Neko Emoji-27 (Being kawaii) [V2]

  • Mood: Thanks

If you're a Valiard Reader, please do me the honour of watching this video






Hi, guys! Today I have some very exciting news!

The Valiard Mansion is going to be a legit, published book! Like, honest to goodness on bookstore shelves!

This has been in the works for a few months already — since right after I finished the manuscript, actually — so I apologise for keeping everyone in the dark for a bit. I don't much like sneaking around or keeping secrets, but do I make an exception for happy surprises.

Setting out on this writing journey, I decided early on to create a checklist for an ideal publisher. Anything less would be shown the door, if it ever came to it. If you're clued in on traditional publishing, you would know this checklist to be stupidly ambitious and unrealistic, but that's just how much I valued a freely distributed Valiard's potential to allow me to connect with readers. I wasn't prepared to accept anything that would impede that.

The publisher had to:
1. Allow me to do the illustrations myself
2. Let Valiard keep its existing logo as part of its established brand
3. Vote in to keep at least a few chapters for free online

Trust me when I say this was an impossible checklist. But sometimes, the impossible turns out to only be highly improbable.


AND THEN ALONG CAME GOLDEN BELL ENTERTAINMENT


Golden Bell Entertainment, now Valiard's official publisher, is allowing the above and much, much more. They understand that the very basis of Valiard, and my online presence, lies in constant communication with readers and free distribution of content and information. They have a fresh perspective on online marketing that aligns with my own in a lot of ways. I'm very excited to work with them and to learn from them.

I've also signed a merchandising deal with Golden Bell, so there will be all sorts of Valiard goodies to grab in the future. I'm talking the usual like mugs, t-shirts, and phone cases, sure — but also fun stuff like figurines, coloring books, stationery, and plushies. I'll be involved all the way, creating artwork and designs for the merchandise, so you can have the true Valiard experience no matter how you choose to indulge in it.


HOW LONG UNTIL THE PRINTED EDITION COMES OUT?


:bulletorange: Pre-orders will open in August, 2016.
:bulletred: Publication and release will take place in time for Christmas, 2016.


If you would like to see detailed progress updates on this as well as some behind-the-scenes insights, kindly navigate to the Official Valiard Website and Subscribe to the Newsletter. Otherwise you can catch quick updates at all the usual places.


SO WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR VALIARD ONLINE?


From here on out, only the first two chapters of Valiard will remain online for free, and I'll have to be secretive about official artwork that will be in the final printed novel.

But other than that, I'll keep going as I have been, posting lots of pics, sharing fun updates, and just being my good ol' own self online. You won't even notice the change. In fact, with Golden Bell staff sharing the load, Valiard updates will be far more frequent on Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr — platforms which I often have neglected in the past in favour of deviantART.


AND WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR THE SECOND VALIARD BOOK?


If things run smoothly for the release of The Valiard Mansion, its follow-up novel, The Valiard Mansion: Destiny & Fate, will also be published with Golden Bell.

How much you will see of D&F, and when you will be able to see it, is uncertain for now. The tight timeline for getting the first book released will encroach on my development and writing time for the second book, and it will very likely not be published online as freely as the first book was.

But trust that no matter what happens, I will finish writing D&F, and I will do everything in my power to make sure you guys get to read it. I will not allow the Valiard story to lie incomplete in your minds. Just thinking of it makes me want to go crazy.



HERE WE GO!


So, yes! Exciting times ahead, but a lot of hard work from both me and Golden Bell before we get there. First priority is getting The Valiard Mansion edited and illustrated.

I promise each of my readers that I will give this my all so that you can hold my very best effort in your hands if you decide to purchase a copy. It's honestly the least I could do to thank you guys.


YOU CAN HELP VALIARD!


:star: Have a favourite scene in Valiard that you feel must absolutely be illustrated in the novel? Please mention it! We're still deciding which scenes to illustrate and we need help!

:star: Want to rate or write a review of Valiard? A kind soul had submitted it to Goodreads.com some time ago and it'd be amazing if you could rate the novel or even write a review!
:bulletorange: CLICK HERE to navigate to Valiard on Goodreads!

:star: Is there an item of Valiard merchandise you'd love to own? Literally anything you could think of, please let us know. We're still bouncing ideas around on our side, but in the end you are the one we're making this merchandise for! We want to make things you want to own!


Remember to Sign Up to the Valiard Newsletter if you want to stay updated on Pre-Order and Release Dates!

DeviantART RANT

Mon Feb 8, 2016, 3:31 PM



Hello, and WELCOME TO DEVIANTART, DeviantArt is filled with friendly comments Ed by TooDamnFilthy
Amazing Artwork
Whats With The Shitty Ass Artwork by TooDamnFilthy
An amazing share of community and friendliness 
Omg by TooDamnFilthy
No stolen artwork 
Please Register Me by TooDamnFilthy
No Traced Artwork
Nooooooooooooo by TooDamnFilthy
And Most importantly, NO ASSHOLES!!! 
Ech by TooDamnFilthy
WAIT THE FUCK AM I DOING HERE.


DeviantArt is pretty much a breeding ground of SHIT. The community is fucking ass. Basically, It's a discount version of Tumblr. We have the AMAZING ARTWORK that is so good that it makes you feel like shit.
*COUGH*
Eee by TooDamnFilthy
H8 by TooDamnFilthy
And shitty artwork that makes you feel like shit because you're a member of their species. DeviantART as an ART WEBSITE does a pretty decent job at it, it's just killed off by the Shitty Community and the TERRIBLE STAFF. One time I had an anime anatomy sheet in my sta.sh, so then the DeviantArt Staff SUSPENDED MY ACCOUNT FOR HAVING A ANATOMY SHEET. Because it was marked "Explicit Pornography"
Why The Fuck by TooDamnFilthy
Really M8 by TooDamnFilthyOriginal Picture. got suspended because of this shit. 

WHY?!?!? HOW IS THIS "EXPLICIT PORNOGRAPHY" IT'S A GODDAMN ANATOMY SHEET. Why do I get suspended for having an anatomy sheet. BUT A GODDAMN 13 YEAR OLD GETS TO STAY AND HAVE THIS IN THEIR FAVES
KEEP IN MIND THAT THIS PERSON IS 13 AND FAVES PORN by TooDamnFilthy
THAT'S BECAUSE DEVIANTART'S STAFF IS THE SAME AS YOUTUBES! I WOULD LIKE REAL PEOPLE TO ACTUALLY SORT THIS OUT, NOT SOME GODDAMN BOT THAT JUST FUCKING THINKS THAT EVERYTHING IS PORN. Remember when IHE channel was shut down because of him destroying a DVD movie, because it was marked "Offensive, Unwanted and Repetitive content" that exact same thing happened to me. But this time, I GET NO APOLOGY. They just said "have your page back, now fuck off and go on with your day".


I'm done with this shit. DA is a pain 



This skin is genuine!

This journal skin can be edited as you wish, but you need to keep a link for my profile and the "Install Skin" button.


and i'll leave a funny/tacky/probably inappropriate valentine's day card on your page (if i haven't already)

i need comic relief right now.
also my arm hurts like hell and i cant tell if its phantom pain or real pain omg
  • Listening to: dumb it down- the pernice brothers

February challenge

Mon Feb 8, 2016, 7:01 AM



thanks to :iconkittyninjafish: for reminding me to do these I completely forgot haha! derp.


Liiiine by griffsnuff
January challenge
Challenge test time!Ive been wanting to do random challenges anyone can join in on during next year. Just as fun things to try out. No time limit, and the reward is to challenge yourself. You can even redo the challenges later on if you feel you have practiced :D 
SCENERY TEST CHALLENGE
You can choose to do all from the list under, or stop were you want. This challenge is all about speedpainting, dont get caught up in 100% correct anatomy, looks of things. Instead pay attention to Values and contrasts both in colors, light, shapes, and also reusing colors, shapes and so on!
Dont be afraid to make mistakes or painting on 100 layers, going back later and trying to figure out why something looks off is an easy way to try and learn what you need to do to make it look right : D

1. Paint over or reffrence the picture over (draw in your character or random animal its up to you!)
2.  Add colors
3. Add a lightsource and shading /change val

Liiiine by griffsnuff

ALIEN TREE CHALLENGE


For this challenge your going to be designing some cool trees! Use some time to study details on already existing trees and then go wild!

Can you do all the themes under?! :D

1. Poisenous fruit tree
2. Square infected tree syndrom
3. Heavy tropical pine
4  Glowing tree
5. Tree that looks like something else but is still a tree
6. Explosive oak
7. Rainbow droopy cherry tree
8. Agressive Tree
9. Treemen
10. Celestial tree

How you choose to draw them or how many of them is up to you!


Have fun!




Here is a tree tutorial if you want to learn some simple ways of drawing a tree!
Tree tutorial by griffsnuff


hey b0ss

Journal Entry: Mon Feb 8, 2016, 5:17 AM


just my opinion, so please don't upset by a few words typed onto a screen over the internet ( : > 
I've seen soooo many people ship this and i know this ship is pretty much dead, BUUTTT just in case someone tries to even ATTEMPT to kick this dead horse back to life to spread more shit we don't need on the internet ever: 
Billdip is the most unappealing ship i've ever seen. 
1. Bill is a goddamn triangle
2. Yes, you can humanise things but that still doesn't change the fact that he's a goddamn triangle
3. (here come the serious reasons hoh boy!) Dipper is 12 

4. Dipper is 12

5. Don't give the excuse of you 'ageing them up'. Seriously. makes you sound creepier. Let me put this into perspective: Wow! I would totally fuck STEVEN from SU but it's okay! I just age him up a bit! 

anyways, get upset if you want cuz i got a little bit of that anal cream right here if ya want it 

"Do you have a name?” asked Gerta.
“I do,” said the raven.
Gerta waited.
The raven fluffed its beard. “I am the Sound of Mouse Bones Crunching Under the Hooves of God.”
Gerta blinked a few times. “That’s…quite a name.”
“I made it myself,” said the raven, preening. “I stole the very shiniest words and hoarded them all up until they made something worth having. ‘Sound’ and 'God’ were particularly well-guarded. 'Crunching’ I found in a squirrel nest, though."
— 

The Raven & The Reindeer, T. Kingfisher

My new book is out today! It’s called “The Raven and the Reindeer” and it’s a retelling of the Snow Queen. It’s available on Amazon, Smashwords, and check this page for links to other formats like Kobo, Nook, and iBooks, as they become available.

I have this tendency to accidental-pun. I do it A LOT. I do not do this shit on purpose, I swear. If you doubt or if you think I am making this up, I have friends who will attest (this shit drives them up the fricking wall). Some of these were face-to-face conversations and some of them occurred over Skype chat or text.

(On gun use)
JD: I'd love to take you to the shooting range some time.
Me: I'm not really much of a gun person.
JD: Come on, you might enjoy it.
Me: They kinda freak me out a little I have never even held one in my hands.
JD: It's not that hard. I'll show you how. Besides, it's good knowledge to have just in case.
Me: Alright, well, I guess I could take a shot at it.
JD: Dude……. That was awful.
Me: What?
JD: Seriously?
Me: *clueless herpderpface*
JD: You'll "take a shot at it?"
Me: Oh fuck me. XD *headdesk*


(On flying an airplane)
JD: Flying a plane really isn't that hard. To me, the hardest part was all the calculations.
Me: Ehck. No thanks. I hate math with a fiery, scathing passion.
JD: It's just simple math. I mean, ya kinda gotta be able to do it quickly in your head but it's still mostly simple stuff.
Me: I can't do math on the fly like that.
JD: *deathglare*
Me: Why are you deathglaring me? What'd I do? *derpface* Oh, god damn it.  


(On being bummed)
Dew: My life is so much crap.
Me: Oh come on, it's not that bad. You're just bummed.
Dew: I don't even know why I exist.
Me: Really? Come on now.
Dew: I just.... sometimes want to stop existing. Not even die, just stop existing.
Me: Jesus Christ, will you stop being such a martyr?
Dew: *About five seconds go by.* …........Bobbie......
Me: What?
Dew: Think about what you just said.
Me: What? *clueless derpface*
Dew: Jesus Christ…..
Me: *derpface intensifies*
Dew: Quit being such a…
Me: *derpface reaching critical mass*
Dew: …….Martyr.
Me: *derpface slowly melts into oh-shit-no-face* DDDOOOOOHHHHMYGOD. *facedesk and laughs myself into a nosebleed*
Dew: Well…. That cheered me up.
 

(On tabletop RP) (JD is a player, I am GM, this happened around a gaming table late at night)
Me: Okay so you want to run around town shmexing people for information again? How many are you going to bang this time?
JD: *rolls a D8, gets a 7* Seven. What do I get out of them?
Me: Lockjaw, flame crabs, sparkle herpes, one confession of undying love, a pamphlet advertizing the love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and fifteen bucks.
JD: Har har. Very funny. Did I get any actual information?
Me: *rolls die* The first four were very tightlipped and the other three were very forthcoming. You have discovered that…… what?
Everyone: *everyone around the table is staring at me with raised left eyebrows*
Me: *clueless derpface* What?
JD: Tightlipped? Forthcoming?
Me: Oh Jesus take the wheel. *headdesk*


(Conversation about character, happened in a car as we were driving)
Me: I like characters that are tame in appearance but are actually freaks in the sheets.
JD: Agreed. I especially love it when the love interests are surprised by it. Their reactions are always the best.
Me: Yeah. Like "whoa! I totally didn't see that coming!
JD: Oh my god, Bobbie Jean.
Me: What!? *derpface* Oh….. GODDAMNIT!


(On furries)
Me: No, no, no, no, NO! Appreciation for anthropomorphic art and bestiality are TOTALLY not the same thing.
JD: But I always thought they kinda were. I mean, that's what I was told anyway.
Me: NnnnnnooooOMG. Listen up, you uninitiated noob, there is a HUGE difference. Anthro art is the combination of human and animal attributes. The beings are still predominantly human in form and intellect. Bestiality is like, ya know, actually…. porking a pig.
JD: Jesus Christ, Bobbie Jean.
Me: What? *derpface* Oh my god. *Facedesk* …………..wait…. would that count as a…… double enpundre? *eyebrow waggle*
JD: ……. *makes strangle-fingers in my direction*


(On a pet bird)
JD: My father made me get rid of my pet cockatiel when I was a kid.
Me: I would never let my parents make me get rid of a pet.
JD: I was seventeen. I didn't really have much of a say.
Me: See, that's the difference between you and me. That shit would not fly in my house.   
JD: *five seconds of silence go by…* Really?
Me: What? *Derpface*
JD: *silence*
Me: (We were talking on Skype but I swear, I could actually hear her left eyebrow ascending)
Goddamn it. *facepalms*


(On unfortunate nicknames, (over Skype))
Me: My high school had this ice cream vending machine I occasionally liked to patronize. I'd pop in my dollar and a suction hose would descend, suck the ice cream bar up, and drop it into the slot where you reach in and grab it. The students used to call it "The Blowjob Machine" because of the sucky-hose and the weird sucking noises it made. I occasionally liked to have myself some ice cream so my friends took to calling me "Bobbie Jean the Blowjob Machine."
Fri: Haaaahhh! That's funny.
Me: Thankfully, the nickname didn't stick.
Fri: Fffftttt. Didn't stick? Lololol.
Me: Oh fuck me. God damn it.
Fri: HAHA! LOL! I swear you do this on purpose.
Me: NO. I REALLY DON'T.
Fri: Bobbie Jean the Blowjob Machine. I am going to start calling you that now.
Me: I should not have told you that, should I?
Fri: Nope.
Me: Me and my big mouth.
Fri: HAH. There is NO WAY you are NOT doing this on purpose.
Me: Huh? *derpface* GODDAMN IT! *Headdesk*
Fri: There is nothing you can say to convince me you're not doing this on purpose.
Me: I'M NOT! I swear to every possibly existing god! This is an affliction! You know how some fictional characters have a curse that causes them to speak in verse? My affliction is a lot like…..oh my god.
Fri: …………………….
Me: Great. Now I'm involuntary-punning AND speaking in verse! This just can't get any damn worse! ….Fuck.
Fri: *silence*
Me: Fri?
Fri: Murder.

 
(During tabletop RP)
JD: So *claps hands together* am I going to be banging people for information again?
Me: If that's what you want to do. You seem to do that a lot.
JD: I'm good at it.
Me: Did you ever actually add those extra stats for sex? *giggle-snorts*
JD: I did. I added "seduce," "perform," and "stamina."
RB: She should add "jerk-off" too. *snicker*
JD: Ooh! Ooh! Can I? *jumps up and down in seat*
Me: Sure, I'll allow it. Considering your character's job, that could really come in handy.
Everybody: *stare……….*
Me: What?
Everybody: *eyebrows rising*
Me: WHAT!?
Everybody: *eyebrows reaching critical altitude*
Me: Why are you making eyebrow at me!?
Everybody: *we have lift off!*
Me: Oh crap… did I pun?
Everybody: *eyebrows are now hovering somewhere in the upper stratosphere*
Me: Well, you're going to have to explain this one to me because I don't… Ooooohhhhhh. Fuck my life.
Everybody: *eyebrows explode*

(On wigs)
Me: I saw these really awesome wigs there. We should go and see if they have anything that would fit our costumes.
JD: Okay. I'm down with that.
Me: Some of them are made of real hair.
JD: Gah! No thanks. I prefer the fake ones.
Me: Why?
JD: I would never want to wear someone else's hair on my head. The idea just wigs me out…. AH! You infected me! Now I'm involuntary-punning too!
Me: *almost falls off the Olive Garden sidewalk* IT WASN'T ME THIS TIME! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! *goes prancing off into the parking lot, singing merrily* IT WASN'T MEEEEEEEEeeeeeee! IT WASN'T MEEEEEEEeeeeeee! *frolic frolic gallivant frolic*


(On tall women)
Me: I used to prefer shorter women but taller women have kinda come to grow on me….. DOH! JESUS CHRIST!
Fri: Wow. Beat me to the punch this time. Congrats.


(On "scat-play")
Me: Typical response: "THAT'S TERRIBLE! THOSE PEOPLE SHOULD BE THROWN IN AN ASYLUM!" Me? Not my cup of tea but whatever. As long as it's consensual and they don't come anywhere near me with it, I don't give a shit….. Oh. My. God. Pun not intended. *Face desk, falls over*
RM: Haha. That's pretty funny.
Me: …………. You must be new.

(On Xanax)
Me: My mom says I'm too high-strung so she invented imaginary aerosolized Xanax spray and whenever I start getting uppity, she imaginary spritzes me.
Fri: One- I love your mom. Two- that is hilarious. Three- I want aerosolized Xanax spray. I would spray so many people. I would spray ALL the people. ALL OF THEM.
Me: I think we just discovered the way to end all wars.
Fri: Wait…. They tried something like that on Firefly and if I recall, it didn't work out very well.
Me: Oh yeah. Forgot about that. But, ya know, everything has it's downside. No reason not to give it a try. Hopefully we don't create a race of insaniacs who try to murder-fuck the shit out of everything in sight.
Fri: Things probably wouldn't be much different than they are anyway, I guess.
Me: Yeah… Oh! Someone just murder-fucked the shit out of an old folks home. Must be Tuesday.
Fri: ಠ__ಠ
Me: Oh god….. did I do it again? I did it again. I'M SORRY! I CAN'T FUCKING HELP IT! I AM CURSED! I SWEAR TO EVERY POSSIBLY EXISTING GOD, I DO NOT DO THIS SHIT ON PURPOSE. WHYYYY WHY GOD WHY!!!??!??
Fri: Whaaaaaa?
Me: Pun?
Fri: Where?
Me: What do you mean where!?
Fri: I'm so confused.
Me: Where's the pun? I know it's there somewhere. I just can't see it. I NEVER SEE IT UNTIL IT IS TOO LATE!
Fri: There was pun? If there was, I missed it.
Me: You missed it too? FUCK! WHAT DO WE DO NOW!?
Fri: Wait… was there ever pun to begin with?
Me: THERE IS ALWAYS PUN. THERE CANNOT NOT BE PUN. IF I SAID IT, THEN THERE IS PUN IN IT SOMEWHERE!!!
Fri: I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON! SOME ONE PLEASE HELP! I'M SCARED!!!
Me: If the NSA is listening in on this call, we're screwed. They're going to brand us as terrorists, lock us up, and throw away the whole !@#$%^&*damn building just to be safe.
Fri: You know what would really come in handy right now?
Me: I can think of a few things, each one of them A PUN WORSE THAN DEATH!
Fri: Aerosolized Xanax spray.
Me: Yes. Please. Dear god.
Fri: *aims spray bottle at you* PST! PST! PST!
Me: Aaaahhhh. GIVE ME THAT! PST! PST! PST! PST! PST! PST! PST! PST! PST!


(Cellllllllebrate good times, COME ON!)
Fri: She doesn't want to purchase home owner's insurance. Says it's too expensive.
Me: Doesn't she have to? I mean… isn't that like… the law… or something? Maybe?
Fri: Unno. But that's what they're on about recently. She doesn't want it, he does.
Me: *silent pause* Oh dear. That doesn't ~~~abode~~~ well. *HUGE SMILE, eyes go off to the sides*
Fri: ………….
Me: I DID IT ON PURPOSE THAT TIME! YYYYYAAAAHHHHOOOOOOO! *starts running around all over, jumping up and down, shouting, and dancing* CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON! WHOOOO! *three humps to the left, three humps to the right, do the wave, moonwalk, gettin jiggy wid it* YEAH, BITCHES!
Fri: *silently seething* I know where you live. In fact, I am Google-Mapping your house right now. Prepare for murder.
Xin chào các hậu cung xinh đẹp của damdangTEAM :3
Hôm nay là ngày 8/2/2016 tức 01/01/2016 ÂL
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