How to write a Harry Potter...How to write a Harry Potter story that will make me scream.How to write a Harry Potter...4 years ago in Humor More Like This
1. Make the pairing Lucius/Harry; that will get my hopes up and make me read.
2.Start with Harry living at the Dursleys. Make sure he is locked up in his room, preferably mention beatings and that he hasn't been fed for a week, because that wouldn't make him dead at all.
3.It's Harry's birthday! Of course it is! Make him count the seconds, and EXACTLY at midnight, he'll be in a lot of pain. That is impressive, because it means his relatives at least sprung for a really good alarm-clock for him which also shows seconds. And that creature inheritance (because that's what this is, of course) doesn't care which time of day he was born, but use the exact stroke of midnight instead.
4.Harry passes out and then, when he wakes up, he barely notice anything wrong until he looks in a mirror. Unless he has a tail. In that case include the phrase "Wait? A TAIL?!".
5. His hair must have grown. Preferably to his butt but at least his